Monthly Archives: April 2012

Birthing Babies – Kittens That Is

Gatsby on April 17th, 2012
A pregnant kitty someone threw over a tall wire fence
As loveable a cat that anyone could want to love

by Jennifer Kiley

i spent the last two hours helping Gatsby give birth to three adorable kittens. but before i get into telling you all about it i must say this is the 2nd day in a row that i’ve written a long piece and have the page freeze up on me and totally lose everything. on April 20th when i wrote Happy 420!!! it disappeared 3 times. so i rewrote it 3 times. Each time it did improve-so at least i could be appreciative of that. on April 21st I was writing about how people have a fear of the police and i felt that was a grand piece of writing. the bloody thing froze just as i was coming to the close of writing it. and mind you i did try to copy each of these writings but when i went to paste them someplace else it didn’t work. am i being jinxed or just being forced into editing and editing my work. maybe a message is there from my muse to teach me all about that long road one has to follow if one is going to write. it’s the world of editing and rewrites. plus i see that when i rewrite from memory the second or third time around actually comes out better and fuller. and to finish this part, the same thing happened when i tried to write this story, so once again i had to start from the beginning. (what exactly do you really think that this writing and having my work disappear is all about – could it be that i am working on a screenplay where one of the characters has been pulled into the paranormal universe and is protesting the chnage in plans for her character. i do not know but i wish it would stop. it is getting really exhausting and frustrating to keep starting from the beginning over and over again.)

now that i’ve said this let me tell you about our three new kittens. first of all that is how many i predicted Gatsby was going to give us. The first birth was so painful. I didn’t know it was happening until while i was writing on facebook on my laptop I heard a bloody scream coming from Gatsby out of the other room. I asked Shawn (my partner) “What the hell was that?” she told me: “It had started.” Well, as quickly as i could i put my laptop into hibernation i went to be with Gatsby and Shawn. We were on either side of her as she lay uncomfortably on a sheet on the bed. The first birth was long and painful but finally after laying my hands on Gatsby and Shawn doing the same. I threw in some lamaze breathing. the first kitten started to slowly appear but it took what seemed like forever. We just wanted Gatsby’s pain to stop. And then there appeared in the last moments of his (?) birth, the first kitty, an orange tabby long hair (possibly) (this was apparent to us after momma cleaned him (?) all up. Watching him just move and breath for the first time was truly breathtaking. All throughout, each birth was a miracle and kind of scary because i know i kept on chasng away the worst in my head. when i heard their sweet squeaky voices i was delighted. But on to a happier state, we have temporary names for all of them. The first we are calling Max (Maximillian). Now for the second birth, Max was all cleaned when who should pop out much more quickly and with only the minimum of discomfort on Gatsby’s part a gorgeous totally black probably long haired darling kitten that we named Twain (M. Twain). He is the biggest and I think the most precocious. I want him to hopefully become my familiar. I haven’t had my own black cat as a familiar since Jones (Indigo). She was crazy and lovable and my lap cat and sleeping buddy. Always wanted to be with me. Then came the last of the three. I predicted there would be three in the litter. The date I chose was way off the mark (May 4th I believe). This little one was the smallest and was also an orange tabby. No one had any white on them that either of us could see. We named her (?) Scout. Personally, I think the names will stick. I chose them except that originally I wanted to give Max the name Marcus (for the writer and philosopher) but Shawn wasn’t so sure about that one. It actually started out with the Mark Twain theme but we just kept Twain. And of course Scout is from “To Kill a Mockingbird”. I relate to that character and felt a lot like her when I was a kid except i didn’t have her father instead I lived in my Imagination but Scout the kitten needs a strong name to start out her life.

All are asleep now except me and Sagan, one of our two chinchillas, who i also refer to as Buddha Baby. She looks like the Buddha when she sits in her meditation pose. Well, I need to do some editing before I go to sleep myself. Once again I am not going to get to watch the movie I have been trying to see all week. Maybe tomorrow in the late night. In answer to the question, when we brought Gatsby into our home, after rescuing her from a friend who rescued her from her yard after someone threw her pregnant and all over her extremely high fence, did we know she was pregnant? No, but it will be alright. We are going to give these kittens the best socializing any kittens could ask for. Not since Mouse and Stuart have we had such young ones in our care. They were both about 4 weeks when the Animal Shelter asked me if I would take them home to give them personal care. Stuart was the first. He was bottle fed and slept between Shawn and I. He developed a cold and Shawn would hold him while they both slept to help him breath better. And Mouse received the same kind of care. Mouse had this special ski hat that he liked to knead and suck on. He did that for years. And Stuart drank from the bottle long after he was an adult cat. He liked being held like a baby and able to suck at the bottle. These two became my draping kitties. They were always in my lap and when I would try to use my computer esp. my laptop they would drape over my arms while I typed, both at the same time. I loved them and I loved how much they loved me. Now that they are gone, having new baby kittens in the house will make missing all our dear sweet loved animals a little less painful. I know Shawn is not going to let us keep all of them but I can only hope. Let’s see how attached we both get to them. Once you love an animal from birth it is next to impossible to let them go. ps. photos will be placed on wordpress eventually of the newborns with their mum but only the ones that are not invasive of Gatsby’s privacy rights. She is such a loving kitty and practically a kitten herself. When Shawn surprised me with Gatsby I thought she was only about 4 1/2 months old at the time approximately a month ago. The vet when announcing she was pregnant, also stated she was about a year old. Such a tiny little girl Gatsby is.

And the morning after the birthing of the kittens with mom and babies all alert and adorable.

The link to the continuing story of Gatsby and her three adorable kittens. Beware the postpartum tyrant. Our poor other kitties just don’t know or have any idea why she is so bloody hell mad at them. Hopefully, the emotional terrorism will subside in due time.

Connected, but alone?

TED Talk
Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone?

Sherry Turkle studies how technology is shaping our modern relationships: with others, with ourselves, with it.

Why you should listen to her:

Since her pathbreaking The Second Self: Computers and The Human Spirit in 1984 psychologist and sociologist Sherry Turkle has been studying how technology changes not only what we do but who we are. In 1995′s Life on the Screen: Identity in the Age of the Internet, Turkle explored how the Internet provided new possibilities for exploring identity.

Described as “the Margaret Mead of digital cuture,” Turkle has now turned her attention to the world of social media and sociable robots. As she puts it, these are technologies that propose themselves “as the architect of our intimacies.” In her most recent book, Alone Together: Why We Expect More From Technology and Less From Each Other, Turkle argues that the social media we encounter on a daily basis are confronting us with a moment of temptation. Drawn by the illusion of companionship without the demands of intimacy, we confuse postings and online sharing with authentic communication. We are drawn to sacrifice conversation for mere connection. Turkle suggests that just because we grew up with the Internet, we tend to see it as all grown up, but it is not: Digital technology is still in its infancy and there is ample time for us to reshape how we build it and use it.

Turkle is a professor in the Program in Science, Technology and Society at MIT and the founder and director of the MIT Initiative on Technology and Self.

“What technology makes easy is not always what nurtures the human spirit.”
Sherry Turkle

Happy 420!!! FREE THE WEED

Legalize Marijuana - End the War on Drugs
FREE THE WEED

by Jen Kiley

Happy 420!!! Everyone. Legalize Marijuana. Let those who toke not fear government retribution. FREE THE WEED. Stop the War on Drugs. Use the money spent on a futile endeavor and use it to train Law Enforcement to pursue more important matters. Examples: Train the Police to stop bullying legal protesters for supporting their causes. Go after Corporations who are stealing from the people. Go after Domestic Violence; Stalkers; People who shot innocent people and murder them; Try to Stop Murder; Work on ending Homelessness, Hunger. Build Affordable Housing for Everyone. Improve Education so that Children are encouraged to have an Imagination and to be Individuals. Find the resources to afford Everyone who wants a continuing Education to be able to a have one. End Bullying. Make available more resources for Mental Health & the Treatment of Mental Illness so people can find Mental Wellness. Improve the Environment. Work on Creating Greener Ways of Transportation by building Affordable Greener Car & a Rail System throughout the United Stated. Stop the Republicans from taking away Women’s’ Rights. FREE THE WEED. Legalize Marijuana for Medicinal & Recreational Purposes. Those who toke tend not to get behind the wheel of a car the way someone who has the Freedom to drink as much as they want do and end up injuring &/or killing other people and also themselves. Put more Finances into Health Care so that all Have Health Care Insurance which includes Dentists. Support the Arts. Increase the Living Wage. Increase what the Government gives to those people who need to be on Disability. STOP THE WAR ON DRUGS. End AIDS. End CANCER. Put more resources into Research. Protect Animals and their Environment. CLEAN UP THE PLANET. Improve the FOOD everyone eats. STOP PREJUDICE. END HOMOPHOBIA. END RACISM. FREE THE WEED. Legalize MARIJUANA. Happy 420!!! National Weed Day.

where is your therapist when you need them?

or how the muse is ultimately my savior.Image

by jennifer kiley

4.19.12

I came upon a post from a blogger that i follow regularly. He was talking about when therapists go on vacation and the dependency a client feels and how the separation may affect the client/therapist relationship. it was the right time for me to find this post. for me the vacations of my therapists have depended on the therapist i was seeing as to how i would react to there going away for awhile. one therapist i was extremely attached to would take a complete month off every summer. she would arrange for another therapist to see me. one time she made a tape of stories she read so that i could feel connected to her. nevertheless i would feel extreme pain in her absence. one of those summers a person we both knew and loved died suddenly. I went to the memorial service but a few days before the service a man called me to advise me to leave my therapist alone before and after the service. so that is what i did. she spoke at the service. I could feel her pain and i felt mine. i wanted to hug her after the service but i heeded the warning. after she returned from her summer vacation i told her about this man who had called and what he had said. she said that it would have been okay for me to come over to her for a hug. she was surprised i didn’t. (I must say at that moment i became angry and upset that i had lost out on that opposrtunity to give and seek comfort from someone i cared about whom cared about me.) that was a while ago and because of insurance i lost that therapist. where i am now is why i am writing my reaction to that post. vacations for therapist can be quite difficult on their clients. but in most cases the therapist prepares their clients for that separation. what doesn’t get prepared for is when a therapist is out sick. when it is one day here and there throughout the year, that is something one can adjust to but over the past month – 3 weeks - i see my therapist twice a wee -, my therapist has missed 4 appointments out of 6 that were scheduled.  i have seen her only twice in April. I go twice a week because i need to see a therapist twice a week. I have also been going through some very intense emotional times and have been in some serious trouble trying to keep myself from losing it and doing something extreme on multiple occasions. i tell myself it can wait. i’ll be able to make it until tomorrow because i will see my therapist then. but in the morning my partner wakes me up to tell me your therapist is out sick again. she is sick actually quite often and has cancelled many times since we have been seeing each other, which has been for 16 months. i do not know how to deal with this. i am feeling very angry inside and last night i really lost it and freaked out but then i thought i would see my therapist today but once again another call saying she was out sick. is it unfair of me to want to ask her to arrange for me to have a backup therapist that i can work with if this is going to keep on happening? talk about separation and dependency. i just feel like we are making progress and recently i had some breakthroughs about what is going on inside me and i really thought we would have been talking about these things over the past weeks. but the insights are slipping away. what would you do if this were happening to you and for whatever reason you therapist had to cancel on an all too regular basis. i need my therapy and i am not getting it. i enjoy my therapist butt her absence is affecting my relationship with my partner and emotionally i feel like i am having a hard time keeping it together. i do my writing. in fact, i am excited about a screenplay i am working on. sunday night turned into an extremely manic and produtive night. the innternet went out on my street and with every effort thwarted trying to get it back on line there was no success. so that meant no facebook or twitterr or tumblr or wordpress or any other contact online plus no emails. well, i thought maybe i would watch a film for my screenwriting course but instead i was drawn to my laptop and my magic screenwriting program and over the course of an undetermined amount of time into that dark night i started writing the outline to my screenplay. before this i had been doing tutorials on the workings of the program and creating characters and jotting down lines and writing scenes and thinking about where i wanted my screenplay to go. by the time it reached approximately 5am i had the first complete draft of my screenplay. i must say i was quite surprised on the twists and developments that occurred. my muse was truly inspiring that night. since then i have written some notes into the screenplay and came up with a rather intriguing ending to the movie. where once i felt a romance would grow i found that i had taken off into a totally different genre. i am very pleased with where it is going. a manic state can be a promising state if worked creatively. so there i am from one state into another. very unpredictable. i have a roller coaster inside my head which may find me ended up in the strangest places. so from feeling depressed and somewhat inconsolable to feeling high on my creative self and how generous and giving my muse is to me. so we will have to see how this all turns out. hopefully, writing this post has led me back into creating more regularly on these pages.    

 

Gatsby 4.18.2012

Gatsby video wth a Spike the cat cameo. She is a stray kitty who was tossed over a fence of a friend. We took her in and the vet surprised us with the news that she is going to be a mommy. Join in the Gatsby kitten pool at:

http://mackenziesdragonsnest.wordpress.com/2012/04/16/gatsby-kitten-pool/ 

Come closest to date and size of litter and win a signed copy of “The Dragon Keeper’s Handbook by Shawn MacKenzie.

Gatsby on 4.18.12 walking around her kitchen while posing for her video not necessarily wanting to strike a pose.