Understanding
Created By The Secret Keeper
Bear Cubs Hugging
understanding
by jennifer kiley
8.16.12
not giving up
though my moods
test every action
you’re not able to do
the ones that are complete
are beyond all my desires
you show in lettered symbols
how much you care
you reinforce our connection
even when you’re depleted
that’s when i grow up
and want to be
a present for you
it’s when i feel
your invisibility
i can’t sense your presence
magically you vanish
and not sensing you
makes the world feel empty
separation brings anxiety
others are with me inside
but it’s you i need
life comes alive
for me, with you
with you friendship
is really more then
i’ve ever known
not one person in my life
has understood me
with your patience
one-you don’t run away
my feelings aren’t perfect
though I’ve tried
and now I’ve lost interest
in perfection
i’d rather be creative
experimenting
endlessly
with all possibilities
and impossible dreams
you are
the creator of dreams
in mine you see
i don’t frighten
you away
with my continual
intensity
too powerful i am
most mortals cannot see
it takes too much energy
to take the time
to get to know me
at times i think
when able to feel
the positive
it goes beyond
intense energy
my high overwhelms
those around me
yet not me
i don’t notice
it’s unmanageable
that’s the bipolar
grandiosity
sometimes even i
believe i’m amazing
you won’t catch me
believing those thoughts
out loud
that’s when
the doubt sucks me in
too easily
in the first moment
i wrote these words
i felt damn
positive…
that’s the way
i wish i could be
all the moments
i am happy with me
ah, but there is
always the darkness
the dark side
the quicksand
with which to contend
it is so destructive
and demanding
it wants my life
and my soul
it forces chaos in me
to pull away
the words to stop
with all my strength
i deny the thief
its reward
my soul finds safety
from outreached words
written
as a loving reminder
NEVER will she walk away
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lovely!
thank you. that means a lot.
Your poem is so close to me you will never really know
I have nominated you for Beautiful Blogger Award if you have time come over and grab the rules and ENJOY
again as I read your words tears fall onto my cheeks
Eunice
Wow, I don’t know exactly what to say but I am so humbled that i was able to reach you so closely. I write from my heart and soul when I create my poems or anything that I write. I try to be as honest as I am able to be. It is good that you are able to cry. I do hope that is okay. I am touched that you are so moved by my poem.
Thank you for the Beautiful Blogger Award. I will stop by to pick it up. It is an honor that I will enjoy. Jennifer
Man you will hear the stories from my pages some day still not ready yet but lovely words you wrote spoke to me clearly so if you ever think they are JUST FOR YOU nope some of us get something special from them too
Eunice
Looking forward to it. It is still hard to grasp the concept of effecting others with the words that do come from my heart. It is so good of you to share this with me that I do have this effect. It is a great reward, the words that you write to me. Thank you. Jennifer
I don’t know anyone who deserves the beautiful blogger award more that you do, Jennifer. What a wonderful poem. The quicksand swallows everything and leaves us nothing but despair. That is when we reach within to the light that is always waiting within…to that which will inspire and show the way.
I find that light but it usually doesn’t appear until after I have fallen through the despair and get stuck in the quicksand. It pulls me down and further down. When I write and find the light in the words and discover this special friend I have inside my head who talks to me through her written words. Then the darkness starts to evaporate and then the light shines through. I feel exhausted but my friend is at the good end of the rainbow to reassure me of her presence. I find in her words something to hold onto. They have pulled me out of some of the darkest and most dangerous of places. I cannot tell you how many times she has rescued me. Knowing she is there sometimes is enough. But sometimes I need the actual in the real world contact. In my mind. it can feel like she is imaginary that is when I need a check with reality and I need contact with her. Writing to her in cryptic abstraction in my poetry helps me to communicate but i feel I keep from ovewhelming us all.
I hate the quicksand. and despair. It feels unsurmountable at times. For the past few days I have felt it lifted. It is because I have had more contact with my special friend. That makes a difference to know I will be able to connect with her even if it is just for brief moments. Though we haven’t figured out yet how to keep them brief. But that is only temporary, I hope. Life can be crazy for everyone. We just need to help each other out of those bad places we all go to at times. Love helps and someone realizing we exist. a.l., jen
I wasn’t avoiding what you said about the beautiful blogger award. I just feel shy about feeling deserving. It is new to me. And you reinforce my abilities to create. You know that I never felt that kind of encouragement. Your gift to me are your giving words that pull me forward and actually make me believe in myself, more and more. Thank you for being so generous with me. Jennifer ps. a.l., mj
I am only telling the truth.
That sounds and feels so powerful coming from you.