i like the way it hurts
poem by jennifer kiley
©transgraphics by j. kiley
posted 01.10.13
challenge: line from song: #2
guess song title and singer(s)
casser sur passé à l’autre côté par j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013
i like the way it hurts
by jennifer kiley
i like the way it hurts
the depth of depression
the numbness of the blood
leave open the pain
blood letting
does still release demons
or awaken them to the feast
they plant the thoughts
the actions are a natural
progression of self-worth
and self-hatred
its companion
the longer i let it touch me
the deeper are the wounds
it hurts with pleasure
usually it’s all that’s possible
what i feel is the pain
releases the blood
drains the pain away
the numbness sets in
the anger the rage the pain
decreases and releases
the consciousness is leaving
all washes away
all feelings that hold me down
i’m floating on air
the heaviness evaporates
what holds the reasons
to stay are reasoned away
leaving behind what i hurt
their lives will continue
better without me near or here
missing will fade away in time
my spirit will serve
those i love
who love me
better as a memory
apologizing for any pain
i will guide
as i am allowed
but as a spirit
it is all
i am qualified to be
maybe a muse
i will work up to be
or a guardian angel
will be better than me
who am i now
lost in the daze
of a bipolar mystery
and bruised memories
that have beaten me down
where there is just no energy
left inside of me to survive
© jennifer kiley 2013
love the way you lie-rihanna & eminem
line from song: “i like the way it hurts”
song: “love the way you lie” singer: rihanna rap: eminem
“Did you really want to die?”
“No one commits suicide because they want to die.”
“Then why do they do it?”
“Because they want to stop the pain.”
~ Tiffanie DeBartolo, How to Kill a Rock Star ~
“Suicide is a form of murder – premeditated murder. It isn’t something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.” ~ Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted ~
Remember to add compassion.
I heard you. Compassion. I am trying to remember. The full spectrum is quite active right now. Sleep is where my body and all within it are suppose to be. Have to have a visit to hospital in 6 hrs. Wrote this last night but have no memory of doing it. It is part of exocising the demons. Better to be on paper and witnessed then inside of me being destructive. Now I can start feeling the compassion. jk
Wow Jen! Beautiful writing.
You know what has always kept me going even at my lowest? Curiosity
Life is so bizarre and so unexpected, I keep wondering what’s going to happen next.
Bless up
G
Curiosity, that is what I am wondering. It has all been like a haze I tripped through. Now that I feel a touch more balanced, I do wonder what comes next. Thank you. peace.
jk
This is brilliantly written! http://sophiebowns.wordpress.com/
Intense power, the written word can carry. Thank you.
jk
Damn, Jenn. I’ll be saying a special prayer for you this morning.
Luvz and hugz, Keith
I believe I need that. Been in a daze and starting to waken from it just a shade confused but warming up. Thank you Keith, Peace Love and we can share that Hug. Jennifer
Keep on writing!!!!
Thank you for the encouraging comment.
jk
Wow. Excellent. Deep and moving.
Thank you Millie. It felt like my head may have exploded at the time. But now those feelings seem faraway and I feel more settled down for now. What a ride. jk
Writing has a way of helping heal emotions. You are a constant source of inspiration. Bless you and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Very poignant and moving! Well done…
Thank you. When one is inside the tornado on the way to the unknown you ride it to where it drops you down. That was a huge fall. Up and coming back. jk
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