purpose: a work in progress. intention, objective, ideas, hopes, resolve, give meaning, how i view anything or nothing? how far is my reach for expession? object of desires? what are my dreams? what are my expectations? how ambitious am i? what are my intentions for my life and all that is in it? do i have a particular destination in mind? what direction am i heading or are there a multiplicity of directions? what are my prospects? do i have any proposals for my future? do i have any target goals? what are my aspirations?
these and other questions i haven’t thought of yet, i will attempt to answer as they come into my vision. created early monday morning around 4:45am june 18th, 2012.
meaning: (work in process) how i define what i feel is the value and inner reason for life. sense of purpose. what direction i feel my life is going to aim for. the overall significance of being alive. the essence of life. what value or worth i feel i am.
what is the intrinsic value of my life or anyones’ life? my life has so many interests starting with writing about everything that i am curious or things i want to discover or figure out; to analyze my existence.
Edited: 12 Noon 1.12.12
i am an artist. i am addicted to creating. to create images that express a feeling or an essence that feels it has found it’s completion. that is when i stop. something in the image or the poem or whatever it is i am working on speaks in its own language and directs me where to go or when to stop. the muse sits on my shoulder or whispers in my ear or plays around in my mind or heart or any place they want to. i think of my muse as a she. i relate better to the female. just as i use the word goddess. just have a problem with the thought or words of the patriarchy and all their words and meanings. i prefer to create my own words and meanings i feel that life is or is suppose to be. is life suppose to be anything particular or do humans need it to be something for it to be able to be defined and organized in a fashion that has a linear and orderly existence. if you study history it all follows its self as though it happens one thing after another. even though time is spread out in every possible direction all within the same moment continuously.
i want to write a screenplay that is more than just one of the fifty. i want to write a novel that has a sustaining meaning that will last longer than my life and definitely longer than the first week of promotions. I would like what I write be something that i would want to read as if i were a stranger and reading something that i know nothing about until i read and just possibly will not want to put down until i am finished reading the complete book. that’s a great fantasy, whether possible, we will see. back to that ultimate screenplay, what story hasn’t been told that a fair number of people would want to see but first would want to make. actors would want to play the characters and directors would want to fight over who will be the one to win the pinable position of committing it to digital memory for someday to be seen on the screen, theatre, tv, computer, tablets and even mobile phones. i have that screenplay in my head that i did try to write but my computer hard drive crashed and destroyed it. it is time to continue the journey to see where that script was going to take me. i just finished writing the beginning of a synopsis here but then realized. not exactly the right place to reveal my secrets of the inside look into…i’m not even going to reveal the title. this is when secrets are meant to be. one must keep things like titles to themselves. i am auperstitious that way. i don’t like telling anyone, not even my partner or therapist. well, maybe my therapist but only once so she has time to forget. that’s it for today. need to work on other writing. and other project and exercises.