Private Writings: Chapter #77 – “All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”
Private Writings #77
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 2nd September 2014

Not Suitable For Children.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #77
“All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”

Tuesday 24th February 2009

Dear Annie,

All is going wrong. Sylvia is beyond returning to life. She is on ventilator but her brainwaves have ceased to exist. They have stopped registering that there is any brain functioning at all.

Catherine Leighton & I have talked a great deal since we both met up at Cedar Sinai to see what has happened to both our daughters in the same car crash. Alison seems to holding on as tightly as she is able. Her vitals are weak but not impossible to recover from.

But the same is not true for Slyvia. After we finished our talk, for the moment, Catherine has made the decision to pull the plug on Sylvia. I can see in Catherine’s eyes, it is a decision she has come to terms with. She doesn’t want to tell the doctors her resolve. She asked it i could join her when she did. Of course, I told her I would be there for her now and any time she needed me.

I realize through Catherine,s insight that Alison may still be in a coma but her vitals are so promising. It feels to me a strong, deep feeling, that she was holding steady. She may still be in critical condition but she has been removed from her ventilator and began breathing almost immediately on her own. They just needed to clear her air waves. All the signs were showing promise.

But now I must be there for Catherine. She is devastated at the thought of losing her daughter. She knew after the crash, Sylvia would never be the same. She had really lost her mental bearings and now her body was destroyed by the crash. Catherine never realized just how strongly Sylvia wanted to die and how she was more and more destructive toward the end.

The doctors joined Catherine and I in Sylvia’s room. She was a shadow. There was a darkness that surrounded her. I feared this. I took Catherine aside and told her my fear that her daughter, Sylvia, was surrounded by the darkness. We needed to prepare her so they wouldn’t be able to pull her toward thsm after she was disconnected from life support and her life. I was afraid they would grab a hold of her spirit and take it where it would never be found again.

We both meditated, trying to contact Sylvia’s spirit. Show her that she was not hated or forgotten. We both wanted her to find peace. I wanted Scottie and Jamie to join us. They were reluctant but they realized what it would mean to Catherine to be their for her and her daughter.

We all sat on chairs in a circle holding hands. We couldn’t use candles due to it being a hospital. We were fortunate enough to be offered the generosity and spirit of 3 women and 4 men who practiced Reiki. While we meditated and held hands, the Reiki was performed over Sylvia’s lifeless body. The ventilator still pumping air into a body that needed it no longer.

After the 7 Reiki women and men left us alone. Jamie said softly that she knew a ritual her grandmother had taught her just before she had died. It was pat Wiccan and the Good Sense that her Grandmother had been blessed with. Jamie recited the ritual from memory while we all held hands and listened. All we needed to do was after each verse we were to say: “May the Spirit find her way home.” That sounded reassuring.

Here is the verses as follows as as Jamie recited them. Each verse being one line:

“We know it is a time a sadness for those who are left behind.” Jamie spoke.

“May the Spirit find her way home.” The three of us, Catherine, Scottie & myself, spoke quietly.

“Keep in mind you are sending a loved one into the protection of those on the other side who went before her.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“We call all who can hear us on the other side to come forward and to welcome our sister when she is ready to depart.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“It is a great loss for this world to lose her but it is her time.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Give comfort to our sister for she will not understand what is happening.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“She will not understand that death has chosen her to come amongst you.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Protect her from the shadows for they want to rob her of an afterlife of peace which she is deserving to partake in.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Hold her in your spiritual arms and rock her as she becomes familiar with her new home.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Give her love and guidance when she needs and and even before she asks for it.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“She belongs to you now. Take her carefully into your womb and love her forever.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“It is finished. She is gone from us and in her new home. No longer is she in this body we so cherish. Goodbye dear one. Love is with you now and forever.

“May the Spirit find her way home. And may the spirit find her way home. This we hope has happened and is forever.”

Everyone started crying as Catherine instructed the doctors it was time to pull the plugs. Sylvia Kendall had passed from this world.

Sadness Annie,




© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Maksim - Somewhere In Time - Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Sylvia Kendall]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana


Private Moments #77 “Pass the Open Spaces”

private moments in paintings & poetryPrivate Moments #77:
“Pass the Open Spaces”
Poem Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post 1st September 2014
Poem for Private Writings: Chapter #77
“All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”
PAINTING “Paint 13″
by Shawn MacKenzie

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~ (1563-1631)


Paint 13 - Artist Shawn MacKenzie
To Discover More About Artist, Author & Editor Click on Name Above in the Titles

hands reaching out into rain

“Pass the Open Spaces”
By Madison Taylor
24th February 2009

Passing the open spaces
Darkness invades the eyes
The light has dimmed
Into invisibility
Blindness has set the mood

Beyond life
The darkness is only
What humans would see
Angels and spirits
Light is so bright

Only they are capable
Of absorbing
The color spectrum
That fills the Universes
That surround our center

Our center
Is only ours
The Universe
Is beyond description
And depths of dimensions

Let us hope
Our thoughts
What reaches out for us
After our call
To end our place here

Traveling to Heaven
Or another side
There is room
In the Universes
For any possibility

Hoping someone
A good place to transpire
Is a kindness
The depths of the soul
Teaches us to observe

A wish for Grace
For someone we love
Is a special offering
It should be possible to give
From kindness and the depths of love

Meditating on the dream
Death will bring us
The words of death
Do not exist
In our language

What we mean
Is to give
Our Blessing of peace
Contentment in rest
Joy in a spiritual awakening

© madison taylor 2009

candle flame flickering gif

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - Composer Rachmaninoff – Pianist Maksim Mrvica

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p

“Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”

— Jkm the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

red-heart-for mj ghost 1

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“The Known and the Unknown” – #7

a writer's word polished or rawThe Known and the Unknown – #7
Excerpts from the Essay “Fail Safe”
Written by Debbie Millman
Post Sunday 31st August 2014

The Essay titled “Fail Safe”
Taken From Anthology
Look Both Ways: Illustrated Essays
on the Intersection of Life and Design

Debbie Millman is an Artist
Strategist & Interviewer

“Fail Safe” The Essay-Explores Existential Skills-Living With Uncertainty-Embracing The Unfamiliar-Allowing For Not Knowing-Cultivating What John Keats Famously Termed “Negative Capability”

psychedelic cat

The Known and the Unknown – #7

“…but I will
do nothing
unless commanded
to do so.”

I think
the same
we like
to operate
our abilities.

But whereas
the computer
a fixed code

our abilities
are limited
only by
our perceptions.

Two decades
since determining
my code

and after
15 years
of working
in the world
of branding

I am now
in the process
of rewriting
the possibilities
of what
comes next.

I don’t know
exactly what
I will become

it is not
I can describe

it is

blk & wht fluid abstract painting

“The Known and the Unknown” – Part #7 - Jennifer Kiley


“Do What You LOVE

“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”

creative musings [dragon]
“Every Rose Has Its Thorn”

Rock of Ages Musical

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Saturday 30th August 2014


A painful reminder that beauty has the opposite built in. Loving someone is a risk to take knowing the pain will be preceded by bliss and pleasure. But there is usually the pain. Knowing the reality of anyone’s feelings is like trying to understand your own. An impossible truth to even really know or understand. Love is complex yet simple. Simplicity is what complicates it. Be pulled into this song, “Every Rose Has A Thorn.” It will surprise you, the effect it has. It pulls at the heart. The voices are familiar if you knew their names. I will give you one of the males initials. “T.C.” This song sends me over the top with exhilarating feelings. It is freeing when listened to repeatedly. I do the repetition thing. It helps me concentrate. I just learned what that is called. It happens often with Bipolar. The word is “Hyperfocused.” It is liberating. The concentration is like meditating. I do it to write at times. This is one of those songs “Hyperfocusing” works with. Try it. You’ll like it!!! I do believe I created another tense for the word. The action of and the intention in the present tense. Love this song. <3 Jennifer Kiley

“Every Rose Has Its Thorn” – Rock of Ages

“Every Rose Has Its Thorns”
Rock of Ages

We both lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that’s why they say

Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
Playing on the radio
Hear the dj say loves a game of easy come and
Easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you’d be here right now
If I could have let you know somehow
I guess


Though its been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
But the scar, that scar remains


I know I could have saved a love that night
If Id known what to say
Instead of makin love
We both made our separate ways

But now I hear you found somebody new
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess


5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

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“Momentos” – A Short Film

i heart short films
“Momentos” – A Short Film
Post Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 21st April 2014
Posted Friday 29th August 2014


here, i give to you “Momentos”

Momentos-Nuno Rocha


Cinematic Achievement Award – Thess International Short Film Festival – Greece

Audience Award – Honfleur Film Festival – France

Best Short and Audience Award – Arouca Film Festival – Portugal

Audience Award – Naoussa International Film Festival – Greece

Audience Award – Opuzen Film Festival – Croatia

Audience Award – Enfoque Film Festival – Puerto Rico

This is a short-film I wrote and directed for LG. The concept, “Life’s good” was the main purpose of this work.

Ray Bradbury – “Story of a Writer” (1963)

tell me a story

Ray Bradbury - “Story of a Writer”

Post Thursday 28th August 2014

Created by Jennifer Kiley






Ray Bradbury - “The Story of a Writer”


Short public domain documentary about Ray Bradbury by David L. Wolper, 1963. An annotated viewing:

Available for download:

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“Return To Earth”

amazing visions
“Return To Earth”
By Dallas Campbell

Post Created Jennifer Kiley

Post Wednesday 27th August 2014

Visually a Sensational Experience
All senses come alive
Feels as though
One is experiencing Earth
As if One has never been here
Before the moment
One sees the images
In the footage
Of this Extremely Creative
Breathtaking Trip
Of Moving Pictures
Of the Planet Earth

Here, I Give to You Beauty in “Return To Earth”

“Return To Earth” - Dallas Campbell

From Geoff Hoskinson

Dallas Campbell“Return to Earth” OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO

Director/Editor: Geoff Hoskinson