Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 31st December 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.

ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell,
psychoanalyst extraordinaire,
storytelling using letters, dreams, thoughts, poems, images,
music, art, scripts, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis,
inspirations, reflective comments, inner/outer workings
mind, soul, body, emotions, bipolar, mentally creative, interesting,
brain misfiring; abuse, crashes, near drownings,
hallucinations, heightened sexuality, time warps,
finding answers, unsolved mysteries, infatuations,
imagination, fantasy, discover self, soul, eternal serenity, bliss

see you down the rabbit hole.
namaste! madison taylor

It’s the Way You Love Me

Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

Tuesday 24th June 2008

Dear Annie,

One of our animals died. Molly, my horse, at least the one I always ride. She lived 34 years. It was a week of joy and flips over to death from being way too old to be alive. What makes the best age to die? If life gets out of control. You feel you have no future. Those who earn from you, aren’t earning. What is the solution to this problem? Who earns more, a live Picasso, or a dead John Lennon?

Why do those we let in, who we get close to, have to die? Which means another abandonment. I am so much closer to animals. Scottie called one of our exotic companion animals a human. At first, I thought I heard wrong. Just think deeply. They are human. Animals are. I’m sure the Christian Right would balk at being put on the same level of animals. Their feeling of being in the highest order is a birthright. A convincing argument for their feeling of superiority. Everyone else should starve to death.

Not my belief. Animals are righteous. The higher level belongs to them. They don’t work for a living, they just live. No reporting to a 9 to 5. No boss. Yes, there is a hierarchy with animals but so different than how people have fucked over who we are and how we live. It’s a hierarchy of a few who own the controlling interest of the world. Then there are the slaves, bearly making it from day to day.

It feels strange to lose someone. Molly has been in my life for over half the time I’ve been alive. I’ve known her since I witnessed her birth. In the heat of a late summer’s night. Now she is gone. I don’t do loss very well. And right now, I want to feel great having Alison back.

She got right into the business. Scottie took her to our studio today. Editing on “Touched by the Spirit” needs attention. Alison is “jumping right into the deep end.” Who came up with that line? It tends to get you drowned. I, literally, did it once, and pretty nearly didn’t survive. It is a haunting. Someone wants me to die inhaling water rather than air. No last breath of that to go out on. Hope it is not an Omen. Don’t want to die that way.

Do I have a particular way I would like to go out taking my last bow? First, I would like to be healthy the rest of my life. Second, I want to create till the very end, my mind would be quick, witty and sharp. Third, I want to drift off inside the best dream ever and drift away forever inside my dream. Everyone I love would be there or join me there. An after-life filled with all the ultimate pleasures surrounded by love and bliss.

Death is all around me. My senses are always connecting close to the edge of time and infinity. We may close off the reception but it is there waiting to break through into my consciousness.

It feels good to have our family together. Alison fits perfectly. No jealousy. Pure love, respect and caring all around us. I think it makes a difference Alison having her own home on the estate. The Chateau de Rocher is always her home but she needs her own home, where she can build her life. We made a pack to always eat dinners together when the film allows it or if any one of us has an important private engagement. We, Scottie and I, want Alison to have a personal life.

Curious, we never discussed with Alison what her inclination with intimacy and where her crushing love swings. She has never shown a personal interest in either sex or transgender individuals. She doesn’t seem interested in or notices others who might be attracted to her. Never gave time to romantic closeness. Should we be concerned?

Not everyone is interested in sexual intimacy or relationships with a romantic undercurrent. She rejects any possibilities of engaging with anyone. No reason to be concerned. Alison never talked or wrote about anyone special. She had friends but nothing ever went beyond the closeness of a friendship.

Are we good parents to not get into a discussion with Alison? She may not know how to talk to anyone about closeness of an intimate nature. I feel for her. Not my strongest ability growing up with my morally corrupt family. I didn’t know I needed someone to talk to me. Not something I did growing up, talking. Strictly quiet unless I lost it and began crying.

When that happened, all scattered, abandoning me with the Shadow Mother. A Bogeyman of the scariest kind. They hide in the shadows under your bed or in the closet while the light is switched off, only came out at night. Daytime, they would transform from shadows, entering into people who accepted their terms. Anything goes, and not of the musical kind.

My mother was one of those, who made the deal. She became possessed by evil. Her punishment was calculating and torturous. A former member of the Spanish Inquisition. One of the Torturers. She especially liked hot burning items, silk scarves to bide hands and silencing any noise coming from my mouth, and devices for striking the flesh. Often whips of various lengths and bites. Right out of the cupboards of the Marquis de Sade. Sadistic and Masochistic. With the Shadow Mother there were no safe words. I am not so sure if the Marquis de Sade had them either.

The Shadow Mother has been dismissed. Will that stop her hauntings? Sometimes it’s important to out your daemons, in order to steal their power away. What happens then? I certainly don’t want it. No desire to be evil. I just want to feel. Let it be joy but tears are a form of bliss. Laughter through tears, the deepest feelings are evoked. Let sadness in. It isn’t meant to be rejected. Depression will secure a space if the truth of emotions are not allowed freedom of expression.

Some law should be carved into the Constitution: Freedom of Emotions, but unlike guns, no one is allowed to do harm.

It has been an elevator ride this week with moods. Manic, excited, happy our girl is home. Exhausted with sadness, our Molly is gone. It was too sudden. Death should be required to give fair notice. Not with misery but with time to prepare. And no, one should not prepare for death the moment we are born. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.” I suppose death feels the same.

Let’s switch to optimism and an endless supply of time.

It’s time for “Brief Sacrifice” and my favorite closing line.

“Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all places as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.”

For you, I will end this letter in “the moment between seconds.”

Love Fondly,

Madison

@-;—

© madison taylor 2008

Energy --- Artist & Founder Julia Watkins [Energism Art]

Energy — Artist & Founder Julia Watkins [Energism Art]


Somewhere In Time – John Barry

colourful bunch of flowers DArt do

rain in garden gif

Pure Ecstasy
By Madison Taylor
24th June 2008

Become
That which lives within
We are free

Being
The spirit alive
In our nature
Fighting the darkness

Entrance
Into the world
Through accidental
Analytical intention

Mysticism
Pours forth
Ideas words thoughts images
Carrying projections
Floating inside imagination

Consciousness
Kept protected and hidden
Now is free

Acceptance
Enthusiastic
Cautious
Anticipating
Thrilling

Beyond
Overwhelmingly good
Creating a heightened state
Of pure ecstasy

© madison taylor 2008

Cirque Foncé by jkmccormack (c) JkM 2007

Cirque Foncé by jkmccormack (c) jKm 2007

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream

In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher

play is not just play meryl streep

“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibilities.”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted 26th November 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell, psychoanalyst extraordinaire,
my choice in form of storytelling is using letters with dreams, thoughts, poems, images,
music, art, describing my scripts, recent one ‘brief sacrifice,’ film is waiting for release,
psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner & outer workings
of the mind, soul, body, emotions, and bipolar—prefer mentally creative, or interesting,
or a brain misfiring; in the mix are abuse, crashes, near drownings, illegal drugs presently,
hallucinations, hypersexuality, time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuations,
imagination, fantasy, the never ending need to discover my self, my soul, my eternal serenity, my bliss
see you down the rabbit hole.
namaste! madison taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine

Tuesday, 20th May 2008

Dear Annie,

I must open this letter with how in shock I am regarding your news relating to the possible question of murder results in Angela’s [Angie's] sudden & mysterious death. The M.E. Office reports the cause of her demise is from poisonous mushrooms. In their investigation, the detectives discovered Angela belonged to the Culinary Group ‘Epicurean’s Exotica.’ One of two of their favorite adventures were to seek out & claim discovery of exotic mushrooms.

The second was to have these obscene Culinary Events, where in, the price is an elevated $250,000 a plate, the Epicurean’s Exotica would host, this evening’s event in a specially announced secret location. Those who attend, receive an encrypted text to let them know the location for  “The Epicurean Delight.” The entree is always a surprise. This evening it is a freshly killed animal from the endangered species list, captured by members of the Culinary Group ‘Epicurean Exotica.’ In the middle of this, their quarterly secret  & illegal presentation, was the night Angela suddenly died. The prized species, on this evening, was the animal, most people thought was a direct descendant of the unicorn, the Oryx.

The killing of the Oryx, is a disturbing devastation for all Animal Rights Groups & supporters, the top of which is PETA [People for Ethical Treatment of Animals], who have a secret mole who makes them aware of the animal & the location. That evening it was being held near the San Diego Zoo. Ah, the irony, in a converted warehouse with modern chandeliers & lovely tables covered with exotic flowers as centerpieces. All the elegance the super-wealthy have developed a refined taste for throughout their pampered lives. So pampered, it is nothing to them they are going to be the cause of bringing so close to elimination from the earth, a most majestic creature as the Oryx. They have no shame or decency, just pure dilettante attitudes, feeling it is their right to destroy what doesn’t have a place in their oh, so grand world of order & no reminder of the nature of the environment that surrounds them.

PETA has been after the secret organization for years, but they always evaded capture & arrest, having the best law firms & most importantly, never getting caught with any evidence, just grossly satisfied patrons of their obscene practices.

After Angela died, the authorities were bought in to investigate. Now that Angela’s group, ‘Epicurean’s Exotica,’ has been named, a shift has been created in the case. Dr. George’s guilt or innocence has been brought into perspective. The judge has revisited his involvement & his incarceration in a locked ward of Bellevue of NYC, where he had been secretly transferred a short while ago. Why Bellevue, that is so outside the jurisdiction? You told me his wife has family in the city. Since the duration of his time incarcerated had yet to be established, it seem only a kind gesture from the court.

I think I am delighted to be in France & not in the middle of the USA controversy. Some of the press has found me, looking for notoriety. Avoidance has been my best way to cope, plus I have had make-up create some great disguises. I don’t wast to be connected with any side of the mess, except I would make a statement regarding Angela’s total disregard for animals not human & include it on her list of possessing a dead soulless body & her inhumanity just precedes her sudden departure from this world being a good thing. But after consideration, saying that would place me within her over populated part of the dark side of the human species.

Give me Light with a Touch of Fire & Artistic Temperament any day, PLEASE, over being totally possessed/obsessed with practicing way too cleverly the crass art of darkness & evil as your soul-less life’s purpose. Give them a wide berth from all whom I love & myself, at all times, day or night. Cover us in Love, Hope, Joy, & Bliss as our Protection.

Onto Jonathan, my best Gay & Male Friend, WE MET FINALLY. It was at Versailles, the Tuileries Garden. Jonathan made all the arrangement for a catered feast for a High Afternoon Tea, even though we were in Paris.

We hugged & placed our selves down upon the colorful pillows carefully placed on a well designed blanket of a splendid shade of blue, one of my favorites, with a print of my most loved of Jonathan Stephens’ paintings. He arranged this all for us & made it all absolutely perfect. Tea was served with tasty cucumber & creamed cheese sandwiches, caviar & Bremer Crackers, & Brie with the softness of almost melted.

After the Tea was taken away, in came the signature favorites of almost all special treats in a good afternoon. Dom Perignon served in flute glasses & perfectly ripened strawberries with stems & already dipped in the finest Swiss Milk Chocolate. Jonathan treated me like a lover as he served me by his fingertips with all the lovely delicacies.

To highlight the thrilling enjoyment our special feast, a musical pleasure was given by a cellist playing my favorite of Yo-Yo Ma, though never quite the manner in which Yo-Yo Ma would would play them. She was unique. I am certain this young woman’s idol would respect her quality of soul & presentation. She was a delight to hear. So beautiful her sound & features & pure her soul for music.

Our time was filled with talking & listening to the others stories. He was already filled up with Hunter Marx, I thought he should tell me more on the developments with Jamie Baxter, his mate, 25 yrs, to Jonathan, he is the one. He is the male lead in “Touched by the Spirits,” playing the role of Thomas Maxwell opposite Hunter.

Jonathan gives me some background on his new mate & how he feels about him. Jonathan is in love. It feels real not a moment of excitement, a 3 month turn-on, but the depth of e.e. cummings kind of poetic love.

‘i carry your heart’ by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Jonathan tells me, he is in love & it really feels exceptional. His lover is no longer what he refers to as his Boy-Toy. There is much more depth of being inside of him. His sensitivity makes Jonathan tear up when he is speaking to me. Jonathan’s never once in a visual chat ever did I see a tear. He has deep feelings but rushes through sentiment quickly, so not to reveal his needs & wanting desires.

I am not use to the emotions of men. Don’t trust the male sex. Jonathan isn’t like any person I’ve met. As a man, he was created by Cupid & Psyche from the purity of love. His sensitivity exceeds that of many I have thought sensitive. I am not being egotistical but we are on a similar level of loving & living from out of our innocence & sensitive natures. I love Jonathan as a spiritual equivalent.

We joke with the other but we know our similarities are that of pairs meeting again after knowing the other through many past lives & pulled apart from the other. Always sharing a spiritual divination & that of switching sexes interchangeably being a male one time to being female in the next life. But always finding the other through all the possible serendipities. We are mates of a whole different order.

At one point, I ask Jonathan if he would enjoy hearing what my nemesis & his love were doing mating in my new film script? Jonathan was overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Anything pertaining to his ‘soul mate’ pleased him in an altogether thrilling manner.

So, on with the tale of “Touched by the Spirits,” written by Madison Taylor. Directed by Scottie Andrews. Production Co. “Infinite Imaginations, Inc.” Starring Hunter Marx in the role of Kristi Harrison & Jamie Maxwell in the role of Thomas Baxter.

The film opens at a party. The two lead characters start out drunk when they first meet. “Touched by the Spirit” is a comedy with ghosts of the playful kind Thomas & Kristi fall into some sort of intimate relationship & end up both possibly manifesting as ghosts.

In human form alive they are involved with two people who in real life find themselves attracted to their now ghost mates’ partners, who are still alive & in pain. Turning to the other after the joint funeral, their partners died in a single engine plane crash with 3 passengers, the only survivor being the pilot. He bears witness to his passengers love affair.

As the survivor tells his story, time morphs back into watching how everything evolves as Thomas & Kristina start falling in love & decide to go away together for a week, some time passing after their first drunken encounter. The location they both decide upon is Paris. They hire a pilot to fly them around the outer rim of the city. They weren’t allowed to fly too close to Paris, illegal b/c of terrorism & danger of all sorts.

On one of those many flights, they decide to leave the parameters of Paris to head toward the English Channel. As they fly over the Channel, they unknowingly head into a fast moving, spontaneous & unsuspecting thunderstorm. Their plane is struck by lightning & crash lands. Radio is out so radio silence cuts them off from the world at the end. All were thought dead, but one survived, just not found as of yet.

The survivor found them self washed ashore on the Channel island of Alderney. A small section of the island appeared abandoned, rough & deserted, no sight of civilization. But the pilot, Pierre, was always diligent regarding the filing of flight plans. Even so, the survivor isn’t rescued right away. While they wait, here comes on the haunting by two ghosts who have no idea they are dead. All they know is the survivor can’t hear them, so they think the survivor was, in actuality, the ghost & they were still alive. A huge confusion sets in & hilarity ensues.

I asked Jonathan what he thought, I will save his response & now I put it to you. Do you think my script has got it? To me it feels like real love is touched in this film. It may have Hunter to handle but I want this to work for Scottie & me. This is my Anniversary gift to Scottie, a brilliant artist & film maker, who knows how to draw out the soul & life of a film. My characters, she develops from my scripts, have such depth, in either comedy or drama. Even in this comedy, there is just the perfect amount of drama. It touches a person’s pain just enough that the laughter is set off. All in fun, but still the serious side that comedy hides so delicately touches when we look away in our out loud laughs being released.

I loved how you described to me what happened on the bed with Scottie. When I touched her & felt electrocuted by lightning, it felt all wrong. You saw what my abusers did in their torturing me. How, after I buried them, I am still able to see them & feel what they all did. A pain shocks me with fear, a nightmare blinds me with its symbols of power distorted. It’s as if time takes me there & resurrects the torture, the burning of my flesh with agony of tearing & bleeding.

Being raped too many times, & seeing it is not enough for me to qualify for forgiveness by the bullies in society. They never understand the damage inflicted by them on the innocent victims. They see an opportunity & the knife is stuck through my ribs to draw out my breath. They watch as I attempt my last moment of fear, to see if their blow has taken me out this time. So they can feel victorious. They landed their final blow, at last. Otherwise, why continue performing their rituals of destruction & power.

Why won’t they seek out their redemption & forgiveness. As Christ would say, “Go out & sin no more.” Is that statement so hard to hear by the believer & non-believer alike. Why does anyone intentionally hurt someone? What satisfaction is there to receive but establishing the depth of their true cruelty.

I have to stop. I will leave you with my familiar line from, “Brief Sacrifices.” But before I do, I want you to know I am going to write for you a love poem. The kind meant for those I love in the way of Pure Love. No sexual complications involved. It will be for you Annie & all those wonderful people I know & love so deeply. This is for those I have loved & will continue to love throughout all my life times.

“Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all places as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.”

“The moment between seconds.”

For you, I will end this letter in “the moment between seconds.”

Love Fondly,
Madison
@>-;—

© madison taylor 2008

writing-laptop_work-food-wineLaptop in USA Where Annie has Sessions with Madison 

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

blue flowersPhotographer (c) uthamz.wordpress.com [a tribute]

rain in garden gif

“All Whom I Love”
By Madison Taylor 20th May 2008
Dedicated to “Annie”
Through All Our Life Times

All whom I love
Through all life times
Such depth of dreaming
A dream of truth
Filled with being
Overflowing with presence

Knowing we touched before
Holding hands and hugs
Intertwined as a pebble
Joins ripples to waves
Washing time away
In echoes of the past

Time passes
In repeat formation
Likening to history
A solid foundation
Changes occurring
New dances formulation

Our bodies locked
Together in hugs warm
In cold of windy days
Covering the air
Snowflakes falling
Forming flowers

Approaching days
Springs revelations
Colors are treating
Vision to gazes
Of treasures
All need for creation

Teaching newness
Arriving in time
Drawing an awakening
Love in streams traveling
Renewing our places
In continuing time

© madison taylor 2008

Mothernature - Artist Katrin Fridricks

Mothernature – Artist Katrin Fridricks

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

outside the louvre paris

paris  Louvre et Tuileries

paris foreground garden Palace of Versailles

Blue green yellow Abstract Blanket

Blue green yellow Abstract Blanket

paris balconies

Paris Carousel & Eiffel Tower

jonathan stephens imaginary framedJonathan Stephens is Madison Taylor’s friend in Paris, France. 1st time meeting. Skype.

actresses-with-long-hair-hairstyle frenchHunter Marx [taken 7 years ago in 2001 the year Hunter & Madison met]
play is not just play meryl streep

Happy Birthday, John Lennon 9th October

remembering memories day any as happens

Happy Birthday, John Lennon 9th October
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Remembered by Jennifer Kiley, Jk the secret keeper, j. kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Post Created on Thursday 10th October 2013
Posted On Wednesday 9th October 2013
JOHN LENNON’S BIRTHDAY

Remember Memories

This is strictly music, posters, images, an interview
of John & Yoko with Dick Cavett [great!!!], quotations.
Enjoy. Happy Birthday John, 10/09/13, Love Jennifer

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

i-dream-my-painting-and-i-paint-my-dream van gogh

accidentally on purpose

writers4peacecs1

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

not comfort ignorance

life death poster

karmasutra fate fucks u

“Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.”
― John Lennon

Beatles–In My Life

keep calm write something

john lennon facing

john lennon quote on weird

in dreams

imagine maya angelou

happiness john lennon

fuck ur world fuck ur orders

fuck  definition get over it

John Lennon — Stand By Me

“Sometimes it’s not enough to know what things mean,
sometimes you have to know what things don’t mean.” ― Bob Dylan

freedom nature is illegal

free ur mind  john lennon

dragon shadow and thought

dichotomies poster

John Lennon — Woman

daydream wandering

david lynch narrowing of imagination

da vinci quote everything connects

dancing not hear music  nietzsche

John Lennon — Mind Games

crazy not a competition

crazy keeps me sane

bill hicks evolution

belive in magic

To “River”
I Dedicate This Song to My New Little Boy “River.”
He is 3 weeks old & a Dark Grey Tabby Kitten.
Born on the 19th September 2013 shortly before Midnight.

John Lennon — Beautiful Boy

artists are dangerous issued  by joe mccarthy 50s

accidentally on purpose

John Lennon on Dick Cavett [entire show] September 11, 1971 [HD]

I Include This Photo in My Tribute to John
Lennon & Dedicate It to Julie with Love. Jk

Sound-of-Music-maria closeup during singing of edelweiss melts me inside

write beautifully inside mind must be terrible place poster

typewriter-once-upon-a-time1

find-your-voice-flair-set

dragon-writer

calla lily bouquet framed

John Lennon-Imagine

rookie wood  2013  artist paul wood

bedroom perfect high windows light

fire works by matt the samurai.gif

fire works by matt the samurai.gif

gif balls in a maze little blue balls

gif matt_the_samurai_sparkles_Natural GIF

John Lennon — Watching the Wheels

throughout life soul mate poster

candle-flame-gif

moving water gif

hand letting go of golden flecks gif

seasawing elephant gif

Blended Nature by Alex Fitch   706x506

Blended Nature by Alex Fitch

mirror_cat-500x500

John Lennon — Give Peace A Chance

title black background  the words

4p dragon-blue john lennon quote

4p enchanted green walking bridge

meditating on rock overlooking flowing river gif

John Lennon — Power To the People

blue fantasy ---anonymous  1920x1200

blue fantasy —anonymous

neil-gaiman-book-author-quote

neil-gaiman-quotes-even nothing cannot last forever

carter pic for trisha

John Lennon — Starting Over

4p a world in tree green

entering the soul connection

4p beautiful sunset glorious

hands reaching out into rain

candle flame flickering gif

John Lennon — Jealous Guy

field_of_daisies

surreal green planet under water  by rolan gonzalez  812x512

surreal green planet under water by rolan gonzalez

a flower of many colours-this is for you

erotic flowers and an exotically colourful butterfly

The Beatles — And I Love Her

soul mates filled with yellow rays of sun

candle flame w hand gif

The Beatles — If I Fell

4p if the goddes were a kittie irridescent kitten

depression twisted japanese maple

garden purple flowers

The Beatles — Michelle

garden did you know

van gogh starry night variation

the anatomy of a cover - cover - artist masloski carmen 3800x3500

the anatomy of a cover – cover – artist masloski carmen

The Beatles — You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away

(1) Butterfly Elegant-Yorkshire rose

(1) abstract-streak-lightning

Quite Busy --- abstract digital art 864x540

Quite Busy — abstract digital art

critical thinker by j. kiley 820x419

critical thinker by j. kiley

The Beatles — Norwegian Wood

abstract purple digital art by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

abstract purple digital art by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

angel oak tree charleston sc

life from death created by j. kiley

life from death created by j. kiley

unconscious reflections by j. kiley © jennifer kileycreated by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013

The Beatles — Hey, Jude

life death poster

create u r a creator poster

abiotic by yani ioannou

abiotic by yani ioannou

shattered time - unknown artist

shattered time – unknown artist

The Beatles — The Long and Winding Road

hesse tree

i wish i could

autumn tree gif

silver ball by sl8r.co

silver ball by sl8r.co

sea cloud sunset by j.kiley © jennifer kileycreated by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013

The Beatles — Across the Universe

music gives soul plato

snowing by pinstriped briefs

snowing by pinstriped briefs

(1) book letters flying dark backround

couleurs du ciel par j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013created by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013

running stream gif

water dripping gig

The Beatles — Let It Be

dancing music nietzsche gif

hands reaching out into rain

artists are dangerous issued  by joe mccarthy 50s

to feel infinite

The Beatles — While My Guitar Gentle Weeps

john lennon quote poster

john and yoko

happy mouse

candle-flame-gif

candle-flame-gif

les bougies qui dirigent les jeunes voyageurs d'âme

les bougies qui dirigent les jeunes voyageurs d’âme

john lennon by stephen anderson

John Lennon  Peace Shine On

John Lennon Peace Shine On

John Lennon Oct.9th, 19 Dec. 8th, 19

John Lennon
Oct.9th, 19
Dec. 8th, 19

The Beatles — Strawberry Fields

living inside of bubbles with flowers they burst and reality touches your soul

living inside of bubbles with flowers they burst and reality touches your soul

bubbling darkness gif

bubbling darkness gif

white unicorn phantom limb by odani motohiko (1)

john lennon by stephen anderson

(1) yoko one  its alright imaginepeace

John Lennon — Oh, Yoko

trees and night sky fireflies and polka-tumblr

trees and night sky fireflies and polka-tumblr

The Beatles — All You Need Is Love

fall island (1)

love friendship white flower

colorful_abstract_effect_of_glass_and_shards dragon

light dark crystal (1)

love friendship flowers (1)

tears are words

Sadness (1)

spiritual dove (1)

APTOPIX Germany Zoo Panther

N/A

The Beatles — Lucy In the Sky with Diamonds

alice begin at the beginning 1

may day flowers for christa

spiritual pathway

jacaranda tree abstract 1

John Lennon — Mother

Below Is the Surrogate Mother
I Always Dreamed I Would Find Someday

julie w. baby emma

watch over you

true friends forever

write-your-own-story

The Beatles — When I’m 64?

symbols of faith 2

genius madness aristotle

writing calvin-and-hobbes-on-writing

john-and-yoko

John Lennon — Oh, My Love

a friendly little one just exercising fire breathing

a friendly little one just exercising fire breathing

Fav Top Ten Films #3: Marnie

marnie-tippi-hedren-sean-connery-1964 posterFav Top Ten Films #3: Marnie
Post Create by Jk the secret keeper
Film Review Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Post Created On Tuesday 17th September 2013
Posted on Friday 20th September 2013

FILM FRIDAY
dedicated to roger ebert film friday
5 stars

Marnie (1964) A+
Director Alfred Hitchcock
Written by Jennifer Kiley

“Marnie” is released to the public following  “The Birds,”  which was preceded by “Psycho.” At the time “Marnie” was not a financial success at the box office but has become a cult film, which this writer has seen in the triple digits since I was a kid, and felt a strong connection to the film. I may have been too young to grasp all the subtleties but it enthralled me.marnie1 washing hair

marnie changing appearancesIt is like watching a car accident for some people, I have never been able to look away. Whenever I find it is on television these days, I pull out my own DVD, unless it is on an ad free channel, and settle in to watch it again. There just is something about “Marnie.” It is addicting and compelling. To watch a young woman go through so much turmoil and the people she meets all seem to be out to try and take something away from her.in taxi marnie arriving at mother's home

marnie mark at desk in lightning storm

In the first scene, Margaret Edgar,  alias Marnie is introduced as she’s walking on the platform of a train station. The film’s protagonist, played by Tippi Hedren of “The Birds” fame, is constantly changing her appearance away from her natural blonde, to a disguise of varying hair colours, in order for her to take on new identities.

Marnie_Tippi_Hedren_&_Sean_Connery holding her during lightning storm

marnie  sis trying to figure out marnie while talking to markShe moves from job to job, always as someone different. Now, there is a reason she does all these makeovers. Simply put, she is a kleptomaniac. She gets hired into job where the bosses are thrown by her beauty and hire, more times than not, without any references. The dirty old men that they are, get what they deserve.  She rips them off of lots of money from there supposedly secure safes.

Hedren, Tippi (Marnie) breaking in to rutland safe

marnie at race track sitting at table mark and marnieOne of these times, Mark Rutland happens to be visiting her employer and cannot help but notice her beauty and her strange tick. She pulls down her skirt just a shade, to give the appearance of being modest, when in actuality it is to lure in her victims or to unconsciously exhibit her dislike of any man looking at her in a sexual manner.tippi-hedren sean-connery alfred-hitchcock-marnie returning moneyWe learn that she’s a thief, an unstable woman who moves from job to job, changing names, physical appearance, and wardrobe.

sean_connery_tippi_h in state bedroom on ship in robesShe is hired as a secretary by Mark Rutland (Sean Connery), He, of course immediately after he observes her pulling down the hem of her skirt. Unfazed, she steals money from his company’s safe and then disappears.

marnie mark holding marnie getting ready to kiss her

marnie on ship mark trying to kiss her but she has frozen upMark, however, is smarter than she thinks he is, and upon discovery of the theft, he searches for her and finds her. At this point, Mark announces his intent to marry her, instead of reporting her to the police. Marnie has no alternative but to comply.

MARNIE_naked just before mark forces her to have sex

Marnie_Trailer Tippi_Hedren naked mark pulled off robe he is about to have sex with herMark slowly becomes aware of Marnie’s problems, including her kleptomania and her being emotionally fragile. Eventually, he realizes she had a troubled childhood and this is the cause of her problems.marnie lying on bed looking in a trance

marnie after she almost drowned mark rescued herMark is sincere in wanting to help Marnie. Trying to give her a sense of hope but instead, in the beginning he causes her more pain than comfort. There is an element of a Freudian psychological condition growing within her, which needs examining and exposure, in order for her to regain any sense of balance in her life.Marnie-sean connery shirt pants in mansion bedroom area

marnie in bd mark and sister of dead wife standing next to bedMark wants to play the psychiatrist who helps her. In one scene when Marnie is having a nightmare, Lil gets to her first, but Mark quickly dismisses Lil away. He attempts to question Marnie. They end up playing free association, at Marnie’s suggestion. She says to Mark, “I bet you can’t wait to play psychiatrist.”marnie mark playing word association with marnie

Marnie saying goodbye to mark on his way to workThat’s how the game begins, as a challenge. Marnie felt she would push Mark away if she played along with his attempts to help. If she succeeded, she thought he would just leave her alone. It backfires on Marnie. It starts out simple, but the words Mark starts slowly to trick Marnie. He gradually builds up the speed of firing the words at her until he gets to “red.”marnie with her horse forio

marnie with mark and horse forio head against his headWhat happens when Marnie hears this word, you need to see the film to watch how this develops and what happens when Marnie is made to confront the word “red.”Marnie descending stairs for the party white long dress

marnie and mark at party strutt is thereThroughout the film, the colour “red” is significant, and Mark is trying to figure out what is its significance. He does want to help her but he has his own nature with which to contend.  Mark keeps trying until he eventually gets a lead in which he feels could resolve Marnie’s nightmares.

marnie2
marnie1-1 back from the hunt death of horse

Mark is gentle with Marnie, once he establishes with her, he is in control. Not to destroy her, but to help her regain a sense of well-being. He realizes she has many sensitivities, one of which is her loathing the touch of a man, any man, including him. He is patient and tries to be loving, tender and understanding. But >he is  motivated by intense feeling of desire. Marnie is beautiful and desirable.

Sean Connery (Mark Rutland)Near the end of the film, a mutual expression of love grows into a feeling of hope. He takes Marnie to see her mother. But before he does this he explains to her, they will work out somehow the thefts she committed. With some understanding and explaining and offering up the amount of money she stole, Mark feels people will be understanding when they discover just what Marnie went through when she was young.

marnie preparing for the fox hunt

Eventually, his lust and patience collide. The gentleman loses the battle with sensitivity. He is no longer, in a moment of temptation, able to hold back his urges. His need to have his wife, Marnie, overcomes his control to be reserved and understanding. He is overcome by a powerful urge to possess what he desires. In the following obvious statement, “I’ve really trapped a wild thing this time,” demonstrates some of his need to dominate and to control her completely.

tippi_hedren_marnie about to shot injured horse foriomarnie handing gun to mark at houes after shooting forio her horseMark and Marnie show up at her mother’s place. After they literally push their way into the house, past Marnie’s mom, a lightning storm explodes. Marnie begins to react with fear. Her mom, Bernice wants them to leave. When Marnie tries to seek comfort from her mother at any time, Bernice cannot handle the closeness and rejects her daughter repeatedly, always saying the same phrase: “Marnie, honey, you’re achin’ my leg.” It’s when Marnie rests her head in her lap, she is always rejected. A relationship so tenuous and confusing. Marnie never understands why her mother always pushes her away.

marnie in rutland safe colourIn the final moments of the film, a great deal is explained by the scenes which show exactly why Marnie developed into the person she has become. Now you know I am not going to tell what happens in this review. It is a must see film and the ending is a real killer.marnie  night sailer is killed by marnieThe last frames of the film show Mark and Marnie driving away, heading toward the docks, there appears a ship in the harbour. There are sea gulls flying about and children are playing jump rope while singing a song.Marnie end of film with mark at mother's place she is telling the whole story of the deathThe dock is obviously a mat but the film was made a long time ago and it does give the odd impression you are on a stage. As though the reality is all a dream. As the effect of the revealing sequence appears to be a dream.marnie when a child when she kiled sailor end of filmTo explain the colour “red,” it is left to the observer to put the pieces together. What does “red” symbolize to most people? Is it a fusion of sex, violence, and death? Is this the overriding emotional struggle throughout the film? These questions can only be answered by watching this visually enhancing film, with tension continually building until its conclusion, where all is revealed in a most dramatic and disturbing finale.marnie mother telling about letter sweater and getting pregnant with marnie

Cast

Marnie Edgar (Tippi Hedren)
Mark Ruthland (Sean Connery)
Lil Mainwaring (Diane Baker)
Sidney Strutt (Martin Gabel)
Bernice Edgar (Louise Latham)
Cousin Bob (Bob Sweeney)
Man at the Track (Milton Selzer)
Mr. Ruthland (Alan Napier)
First Detective (Henry Beckman)
Rita (Edith Evanson)

Crew

Produced and directed by Alfred Hitchcock
Screenplay: Jay Presson Allen
Based on the novel by Winston Graham
Camera: Robert Burks
Editor: George Tomasini
Music: Bernard Herrmann
Production design: Robert Boyle
Costumes: Edith Head
Tippi Hedren (Marnie) and Louise Latham (Bernice Edgar)

Marnie Trailer — Hitchcock — Tippi Hedren — Sean Connery

Lorca Triumphs: Kitten Pool Comes to an End

special edition day any
Lorca Triumphs
Kitten Pool Comes to an End
Written by Shawn MacKenzie
Reposted on “the secret keeper”
Post Created Thursday 19th September 2013
Posted On Friday 20th September 2013
SPECIAL EDITION

Leave it to a glorious Harvest Moon to give Lorca the extra push/pull she needed to have her kittens! On the couch, surrounded by a passel of curious critters and her doting humans.

Lorca Triumphs – Kitten Pool Comes to an End

Last night, just after 8:00 p.m., the first of her tiny furry quartet popped into the world. With a yowl that woke all the other critters – and probably half the neighborhood – she gave birth to a little ginger kitten! Instincts kicking in, she cleaned him up and the tyke latched onto Mom for dear life and his first meal. (I say he/him/his for all of them, but it’s really too early to tell.)

Then Lorca relaxed, slept a bit, and, bingo, out came #2 around 8:30 – another ginger!

Mom did her thing and kicked back for a while – slept, had her belly rubbed, etc….10:00 p.m. and #3 arrives. At first we thought he was all black, but as he was cleaned and dried off, it became apparent that he’s a gorgeous black and silver tabby. Jennifer immediately claimed him as the one to stay, and named him Whitman.

Just after 11, the final kitten made his appearance, another ginger. P1020099

It was fast getting past my bedtime, but I wanted to stay up for a couple more hours, just to be sure all was well and no more bundles were on the way. By 1:00, we put her and the kids in their box on clean bedding and I left Jennifer – who stays up ’til dawn anyway – to watch them through the night.

Their first day in the world is going well. Everyone is hungry – nay, ravenous! Lorca is the sweetest mom, loves being the center of attention and doesn’t even mind Carter and Poe dropping by to visit. I think she may have been stung by a bee, though, as her right paw inexplicably swelled this morning and she’s favoring it. A call to the vet in the morning if it hasn’t improved over night (though I can’t imagine her wanting to leave her kids for even a moment).

Thanks to everyone who participated in the kitten pool. A special congrats to the winner, Nancy Adams! I will be contacting you about your prize shortly.

Now, I will try to relax. An early night, tonight, for all.

Original Post is at this LINK.

Laughing Out Loud: Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman

lightness of being day wednesdayLaughing Out Loud: Mary Hartman-Mary Hartman
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Videos-Humour-Etc. Search by j. kiley
Post Created Sunday 15th September 2013
Posted Wednesday 18th September 2013
Lightness of Being

It has been quite a while since I have watched an episode of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman with Louise Lasser. This show brought me back to Television. Stopped watching while I was in college. I heard about the show, so purchased an inexpensive 9″ TV and watched it every night at 11pm Monday thru Friday. Then the Superbowl and somehow it started to become a habit. Now we have Roku and Cable. I like to stream and Shawn likes both. I don’t mind cable if we DVR a show. Cannot take the sound of commercials. The irritation from them drives me nuts. Roku is quiet. The channels I watch are all ad free. Bless the internet for streaming, also.

The following videos are an assortment of humourous videos. Carol Burnett doing a take off of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. Followed by the first episode of season one and follow by the infamous scene that surprised a nation at the time of its first running. Next is a hysterical rendition of a voice mail message of someone witnessing the funniest accident scene. It is guaranteed to make you Laugh Out Loud. Jk the secret keeper ENJOY! Be Aware the clip Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman is not an episode light in nature but it is revealing. BE AWARE AT THE TIME IT WAS THE MOST TALKED ABOUT EPISODE OF MARY HARTMAN, MARY HARTMAN.

Carol Burnett Doing Take Off of Mary Hartman Mary Hartman Part One

Carol Burnett Doing Take Off of Mary Hartman Mary Hartman Part Two

Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman Season 1 Episode 1
If you enjoy or remember Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman follow the link and find the next episode.

Norman Lear feels this episode of Mary Hartman Mary Hartman may contain the best performance in the history of television. It is an extremely intense episode. WARNING it may be upsetting. Norman Lear is right when he said it is the best performance on TV ever.

[On Internet 2005-I Found on Friend's FB Page]
Don’t mess with Bible-totin’ old ladies.
Read this little explanation and then listen
to the voice mail. You just have to laugh with
the guy. This is hilarious!!! The witness was
leaving the voice mail message, as he witnessed
an accident and went on to provide “play by play”
of the incident. This is the actual voice mail
message. It was passed along and forwarded
so many times it crashed the voice mail server.

For more details go to
Snope.com-auto mishaps-beatings-hysterical

Four Old Ladies

This video is what our house was like last year and we are about to have a repeat performance. Calming everyone down is a constant activity. The mom to be is very petite and carrying a large tummy. Her strayness does not give us any idea where and with whom she mated. We have a clean slate on what to expect and how many. The vet did an ultra sound but only two kitten heartbeats. Now that is fine with me if Lorca [LSD] Suzuki Darwin has only two. That would be a blessing. There is more of a chance we will be able to keep just two but any more, I don’t believe I would ever be able to convince Shawn it would be a good idea to keep them all. I am not even sure I think it is a good idea if more than two arrive.

Now we had a cat a long while back who had a litter of one. Garbo was a bit larger but not by much. I am talking about the size of a 5 month old kitten. So, we, me, in particular, are rooting for no more than two and one would be perfect.

Afraid her tummy is too large for just one. I am not that assured in the one kitty birth. Of course, Lorca has been eating quite a bit. We will see. The kittens, wee ones, should be arriving any moment or day now. Lorca is asleep on the stool foot rest just 6 feet away from me. There are four other cats in the room with me being so sound, I didn’t even know they were in the living room. The others must be getting warm someplace else. This is however, the warmest room in the house, at 64 F degrees. I have a heating pad and thinking seriously of reaching for a blanket.

Enjoy Simon’s Cat. The cartoons are the funniest new videos out there. :-) Jk the secret keeper

Simon’s Cat — Double Trouble

Be Assured as soon as Lorca has recovered from childbirth and her kittens are all weaned after a fair amount of time, Lorca will be spayed. Her hormones will settle down and so will our household. Why people feel they have to throw away an adorable animal like Lorca, I will never understand but people throw away millions every year. There are not enough homes for them all. That is why I believe the idea, Once you take an animal in they are yours for life.   Written by Jennifer Kiley

Private Writings: Chapter #26 — Wizardry of Id

private writings by jennifer kileyPrivate Writings: Chapter #26 — Wizardry of Id
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Published Introduction & Chapter #1 On 19th March 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On 17th September 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script ‘Brief Sacrifice,’ already made into a film but not yet released, psychotherapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind, soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes, near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality, time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
— Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #26 — Wizardry of Id

Tuesday 18th March 2008

Dear Annie,

I have been feeling like I am close to the edge. Shortly, after leaving our session, remembering what we talked about triggered an awful reaction inside of me. My psyche is in a full blown depression. Talking about Dr. George, feeling like he was raping me, making me have to be in a room with him again. He forced me. If I didn’t I would have lost you before I even had a chance to find you. He had no right to dangle you as a piece of candy. I submit and get raped. I say no, I lose you. How is that acceptable for a therapist to repeat my abuse on me so I will get the attention I need so badly. Why did you let him do that? Now I feel suicidal. The darkness is surrounding me. It feels like the shadow creatures in “Ghost.” They are going to pull me into Hell. Any moment I am going to be forced to kill myself.

You should have stopped him. Never agreed to his terms. Just accepted me and told him to go fuck off. I didn’t deserve to be forced, when I already made it clear I didn’t want to do what he wanted. How should I feel? How can I react any differently? Now, I am having my doubts. Are you going to protect me from my nightmares? Keep them away from my dreams? I have imagined being with you, doing therapy the right way for so long. I never thought you would be part of terms from him in order for me to be with you. Should I be disappointed or feel lucky? I got my dream therapist. Or so it seems.

You did protect me in the closure session, but I shouldn’t have had to be there. It made me furious. I felt you held me inside your power. You threw up a protective shield. I felt it. But he was there, too close, so creepy. I couldn’t look at him. My skin crawled. He was looking at me firing off lies. Just like my shadow mother did many years ago.

When I was a teenager. She came to one of my sessions with my first therapist. In front of me, she spoke words coated with black tar. All lies. Professed she had no idea what I was talking about when I said I was tortured by her. She denied ever doing anything to me. At that point, I wasn’t about to tell her about my other abusers. It was sufficient to try to confront her with my therapist to protect me. In the last moments of her presence in my therapist’s office, I just lost it. I couldn’t stand hearing the lies for a minute longer. I fired off at her a list which grew in my head since I was little, of all the abuses she committed on my flesh, my mind, my emotions. I had to cut myself off. It was a painting without a canvas to record the truth. She shook her head in denial. Making it seem to my therapist I was making the whole tale up in my imagination.

After my therapist returned from escorting her back to the waiting area, she took a seat at her desk and looked at me. All I could say to her was I am not crazy. I wasn’t lying. Her response: “Your mother is crazy. Of course, I believe you. She was lying or had buried what she had done so deep, she believed her lies. It is quite possible if she had remembered her abusing you in the horrible way she did, it would literally drive her over the edge into complete madness. It is enough she is borderline, with one step inside of madness.”

Her words reassured me I was actually sane. She told me if I was going to “lose my mind,” it would have happened while I was doing all the LSD and smoking pot. I did have grand hallucinations and moments when I thought I had lost touch with reality. LSD really can make you feel paranoid. What the fuck I was thinking, doing hallucinogens. I put them into my body. I will stop short at doing mushrooms. They are a spiritual experience. I read the whole “Bhagavad Gita” while tripping. Whoa, that books takes you to such heights of deep awareness. I felt Bliss. True Bliss. That was a worthy experience.

Annie, writing to you or just writing has made me feel a bit better. Why do people fuck with other people’s minds and lives?

I think I am freaking a little because I told you today about my letters and poems. They have been my secret for so long. Revealing I wrote to you made me feel too vulnerable. You want me to bring them to my sessions and to read you some of what I write, especially the poems. You, also, liked I was telling you the story from my script for Scottie and my film “Brief Sacrifice.” The idea of a secret society guarding Nikola Tesla’s secrets. The thought of a perfect Utopia. If anyone could pull off setting up something so grand “Tesla” could. I didn’t tell you what is in the Silver Box. I am not sure I should reveal the secret. It would ruin the mystery of the film.

It is such a cool secret. I will give you a hint. “Anywhere is possible, as long as it has happened already, somewhere in time.”

Can you guess from this clue?

I think I will write my poem for you. See if I can shake the rest of these feelings of the shadows surrounding me. Wanting to do harm to me or wanting me to do harm to myself.

I want you to know I want to trust you. What you did with him, felt like a betrayal. You conspired to force me to give in against my will and better judgement. I am not sure it will be easy for me to get past it. We need to work on not forcing me into something I don’t want to do. When I say “No,” I need to be respected. Words meant nothing to my abusers, especially the words, “NO” and “STOP.”

I am going to close the letter portion here and continue on to write my feelings into a poem. Maybe, I will better express what is happening inside my mind and heart, I do have strong feelings building up and putting pressure on my psyche. You are my wizard now. You must help me understand myself. Why I am unable to let go of my feelings, what am I feeling, and what the hell drives me. The highest concern in my head is why I cannot enjoy anything that would bring pleasure to anyone else.

Wish me luck on writing a poem for you, Annie. If it is going to be my first, I want you to see inside of me.

I am signing out on my letter to you.

Fondly,
Madison

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

lily open pink purple mix

rain in garden gif

Of Highest Concern
By Madison Taylor
18th March 2008

Intruder thrusts knife
Pressure pierces deep in flesh
Sensations of pain spreading

Bleeding stills body
Force penetrates privacy
Ripping away self-control

Will overpowers
Trembling from intensity
Inner strength halts invasion

© madison taylor 2008

rookie wood  2013  artist paul wood

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212

Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

bedroom perfect high windows light

play is not just play meryl streep

Remembering Memories: Kittens On the Way via LSD

remembering memories day any as happensKittens On the Way via LSD
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Poster from Butterflies Oftime
Post Created Monday 9th September 2013
Posted On Monday 9th September 2012

REMEMBERING MEMORIES

Dedicated to our new kittens on the way from Lorca [LSD] Suzuki Darwin.

She is our newest refuge mum kitty to wander to our doorstep looking for sustenance. Did she ask for a home? She wasn’t that pushy but she needed one. She was starving and later to be discovered to be just petite. The vet, after ultra-sound, heard at least two kitten heartbeats. She was assuredly quite pregnant.

Does this mean a new mother kitty at our door next year?

Gatsby showed up last year in early April 2012. She was thrown over a chain-linked fence. Same results, petite and definitely pregnant. She gave us Carter, Poe and Parker. Unfortunately, she died suddenly of FIP. We had her for just over a year and a few months. She gave us her darlings to care for the rest of their lives. I love all three, but don’t let the other two know, I am addicted to Carter. He is the one in this photograph.

carter the lion sweetest kitten on the planet and the universe

carter the lion sweetest kitten on the planet and the universe

Still deciding how many if more than one will Shawn & I keep. I have a promise of one if she/he is a longed haired Black & White kitten. She/he has a name already. It is “Beane Sprout” after a kitten we found and who died from Leukemia a year later. A very sad and long moment in time. We even tried blood transfusions, which gave us two more weeks with her. I was so not in reality thinking that would help her survive. She was our baby. We would have tried anything, as long as it didn’t hurt her. Sprout was a prize baby.

This little one is very close to sprout. a touch more white and you would see what is inside my heart and mind. i could love this kitty just as much. so much like sprout. adorable and huggable.

This little one is very close to sprout. a touch more white and you would see what is inside my heart and mind. i could love this kitty just as much. so much like sprout. adorable and huggable.

Someone actually threw her into a dumpster in our ally when we lived in an apartment. It was winter and cold. Friends were over. I kept hearing strange sounds coming from outside. Couldn’t figure it out. Someone braved the weather and went on a search. In they came with a soaking wet small kitten. I turn into mother immediately. Gave orders as kindly as I could for dry towels, an opened can of cat food.

After drying her up, I bundled her up and put the open can of yummy cat food in front of her face. She was starving. She inhaled as much as she could and eventually fell asleep in my arms.

She slipped away from this world the same way she entered it, being rocked in my arms and snuggled. Shawn and I talked quietly to her. We tried the vet. All he could say is that he could do nothing, that we should just let her die. He made me so furious. I didn’t want to lose her. I loved her so much. She loved us so much.

She was my shadow. I still miss her so much it makes me cry to think of her. It is why I pray and it is so important that Lorca bring her back to me in this new family she is going to bring into our lives. Written by Jennifer Kiley

I’d make this deal with any kitten, any day.

[See poster below for the deal]

black and white cat my demands sign here

Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem in D Minor — Zurriuss

Lorca Kitten Pool – Photo Updates

the secret keeper:

We have a new mum to be who arrived very scared at our doorstep seeking food and I would say a refuge from the cold and wet. She was frightened of me when I first appeared at the window to the front porch door. If I hadn’t disturbed her, she was chowing down and spending time with Shawn, getting to know her, getting her to trust her. We think she may have been sent from our kitty angel to us, we feel actually, from out recently deceased mother cat Gatsby. She died suddenly from an illness dormant in cats and randomly chooses one of them to take. Gatsby left us with three beautiful young boys, Poe, Parker and their marvelous brother Carter. Now after only a bit over a year, we are starting the process over again. I am hoping for one kitten, that is all I hope Lorca [LSD] Suzuki Darwin is carrying. If she is a longed haired white and black kitten, Shawn told me we can keep her. We had a kitten who only was with for a year before she died of Leukemia. Her name was Sprout. So if Lorca has a Sprout kitten, I am naming her “Bean Sprout” and we get to keep her. We have a kitten pool going on at http://mackenziesdragonsnest.wordpress.com/ Just follow this reblog back to its start. Leave a comment. In the comment write a guess as to when the kittens will be born and how many. Who ever the 3 closest are will win 1 of 3 prizes. Two different books: Dragon Keeper’s Handbook, Dragons For Beginners, and one short story chap, all signed by the author, Shawn MacKenzie. The books are about Dragons, obviously. The short story is titled: Because The Pleasure Dragon Whistles. I am on the page for the followup of photos to show Lorca’s growing belly. Just below is the Kitty Pool Post. You leave a comment on either post, you will still be eligible either way for winning a prize. Be sure to leave a comment, though, guessing the date and how many kittens will be coming to us. After the birth, the winners will be contacted by Shawn MacKenzie and prizes will be sent. Good Luck. Hope you win. By Jk the secret keeper & the proud mum of Lorca and our other sweet wonderful furry and feathery children, Jennifer Kiley B|

Originally posted on MacKENZIE's Dragon's Nest:

Time for pictures of mom-to-be, to give you an idea of her growing girth. Lorca 8-23Lorca-B 8-23Lorca-C 8-23Lorca-D 8-23Lorca-E 8-23Lorca-F 8-23

I had hoped to get a pic of her with one the other cats for a sense of scale, but everyone else was being rather uncooperative today. Suffice it to say that she is a surprisingly small cat. Even Carter is about twice her size, as you can see from this photo taken about 10 days ago.

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Happy Birthday My Friend on Sunday 11th August 2013

Happy Birthday My Friend on Sunday 11th August 2013
Created For My Friend On Her Birthday
Love Jennifer
Jk ‘the secret keeper’
Posted On Sunday 11th August 2013
A Writer’s Word

A Rainbow Circle For You, Love Jennifer Happy Birthday

A Rainbow Circle For You, Love Jennifer
Happy Birthday

Gatsby's Rose --- Photographer Shawn MacKenzie

Temporal Distortion

Happy Birthday
I Wish I Could Give You
A Birthday Bear Hug
But I Guess These
Will Have To Do.
xoxoxoxoxoxox, Love, Jennifer

Happy Birthday Fairy Style

Words Streaming With Hidden Meaning
By Jennifer Kiley
Written 2012

Words Stringing Together
Meaning-Intimacy-Attachment-Special
Needing-Wanting-Any Order Will Do
The Eternal Definition:
[place your order] One With Everything [think about it]
Find Peace In Breathing Deeply
Writing-Star Light-Infinite Space
Love-Give-Give To You
Dream-Vision-Woman-Be Yourself
Be One-Love One-Love All-In Peace
Night-Time-Space Travel-All Is One
Be Here Now

© jennifer kiley 2013

A Rose For You by Leo Savitsky   It's Magical & Mystical Just Like You, Love Jk

A Rose For You by Leo Savitsky It’s Magical & Mystical Just Like You, Love Jk

Kindred Spirits
by Jennifer Kiley

Long ago in times past we met
You were known to me as another
And I found in you a stranger
Who I let into my life
You needed my help
It was offered and accepted

Slowly your newness wore off
Revealed was a gentle spirit
With the talent to move creation
You were a pagan, loving nature

We lived in hidden places
Being searched out by danger
We ended protecting the other
Finding closeness in our plight
Guarded by protective spirits

We found solace in one another
Your eyes watched over me
As mine watched over you
Our closeness grew with time
Our journeys had merged
Out of safety and from love
Our souls were joining
In mutual compassion
We became one

© jennifer kiley 2013

Elephant Walking Amongst the Trees

Love is…
by jayarrarr

Love walks a tightrope barefoot over a bottomless pit
engulfed in flames and never looks back.

Love conjures a smile through tears.

Love believes impossible things are possible.

Love is truth, and as such, is sometimes painful.

Love is necessary.

Love is the beauty that shines through cracks
in imperfectly broken things.

Love is hanging your arm out of an open car window
on a hot summer’s day road trip
and pretending to fly.

Love whispers “it gets better”.

Love makes you cry at weddings
and laugh at funerals.

Love pushes you, challenges you,
refuses to let you compromise.

Love never backs down no matter
how hard you fight.

Love is that one song you play over and over
a hundred times and never get tired of.

Love takes charge when you’ve lost all hope,
and makes sure you keep going.

Love thinks you’re amazing
and doesn’t give a fuck
how depressed, angry, ugly,
or stupid you feel.

Love is lightning bugs.

Love is spinning ‘round and ‘round
in circles until you fall down.

Love is the wave that knocks you off
your feet when your back is turned.

Love is stubborn,
and won’t take “no” for an answer.

Love is fearless.

Love is also blind, deaf, and dumb –
and that’s a good thing.

Peter Pan — Happy Birthday

love is…

My Thoughts Are With You Today

Birthday Fairy In Magical Forest

Amazing Visions

European Architecture — Night Vision

Abstract Tree of Black and White by Mark Chapwick

Abstract Tree of Black and White by Mark Chapwick

Love is…
Written by Jennifer Kiley
23rd July 2012

Love is…mysterious.

Love is…unconditional.

Love is…something that can take your breath away.

Love is…expected to be given to a baby when s/he is born.

Love is…spiritually powerful.

Love is…nurturing.

Love is…good.

Love is…a feeling.

Love is…falling into a pleasant state of ecstasy.

Love is…pure.

Love is…passionate.

Love is…spoken in poetic words that have no limit in the ways they are expressed.

Love is…what you feel for a friend one cares about in a gentle way.

Love is…gentle.

Love is…written about by all poets and writers.

Love is…the best part of most plays written by Shakespeare.

Love is…the most misunderstood communication between people.

Love is…an incredibly powerful word.

Love is…a feeling of intense devotion and heartfelt emotion for someone.

Love is…an intense word used when there are emotional feelings for someone special.

Love is…not something that can be easily explained. and you don’t truly know what it is until it happens to you.

Love is…a strong feeling of affection towards another.

Love is…talking on Skype and not wanting to end chat.

Love is…the happiest feeling in the world…it is better to have loved then to never loved at all.

Love is…a force of nature which, like any other natural phenomenon, cannot be civilized, contained or contended…a force which cannot be controlled, avoided, destroyed or escaped.

Love is…an emotion usually described as ‘indescribable’ because you cannot find the right word to match your feeling of being completely and utterly captivated by someone.

Love is…something too complicated to define according to The Encyclopedia Britannica.

Love is…an amazing feeling that almost makes your heart burst with this overwhelming passion for someone.

Love is…passion, romance. a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person.

Love is…a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person.

Love is…a zero score in tennis.

Love is…what drives you.

Love is…a great victory of human imagination over intelligence.

Love is…a rare psychological malfunction caused by an undetermined amount of interaction with another person.

Love is…someone making your heart smile, and making it sing with such exuberance that it will skip a beat from time to time.

Love is…healing.

Love is…comforting.

Love is…something that has made people insanely, foolishly, abnormally euphoric.

Love is…the ability to send one on an indescribable high, and make everything and anything so much better.

Love is…something that makes the world around you much more colourful, the people, much nicer, the conversations more insightful.

Love is…something with a shocking contrast, brought out by the darker side in us all, where people have murdered for love, stolen, hurt, and abused but I am not sure this really speaks for love but is a distortion and delusional interpretation of what love is and I felt it needed to be mentioned.

Love is…something that has sparked wars, and ended feuds, love has hurt, and love has healed, love has driven humankind to dizzying extremes, only to abruptly bring one back around.

Love is…an incredibly powerful word and emotion.

Love is…painful.

Love is…losing someone you love to the hands of death.

Love is…holding a warm, fluffy, purring kitty in your arms and they look up into your eyes, reflecting back the love you feel for them.

Love is…when you can feel comfortable being around that person you are with, no matter how you look, what you are wearing or if you are naked.

Love is…unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone.

Love is…an unconditional feeling that is felt, simply by being around her.

Love is…the absolute devotion you feel towards someone.

Love is…fierce.

Love is…when you realize you want to be with someone forever.

Love is…when you find something that you cannot live without or ever wish to be without.

Love is…something we think about, sing about, dream about, lose sleep worrying about it.

Love is…something when we don’t have it; we search for it; when we discover it; we don’t know what to do with it; when we have it; we fear losing it.

Love is…a constant source of pleasure and pain, but we can’t predict which it will be from one moment to the next.

Love is…a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.

Love is…to give all of yourself to a person-s-cause and to expect nothing back.

Love is…a mental-physical-spiritual thing beyond human comprehension.

Love is…something that surpasses all understanding.

Love is…patient.

Love is…kind and envies no one.

Love is…never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, nor quick to take offense.

Love is…a feeling that delights in the truth.

Love is…something that can face anything.

Love is…limitless in its faith, its hope, and its endurance.

Love is…something that lasts forever.

Love is…saying that you care deeply about another person.

Love is…giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

Love is…the desire to blend with their soul.

Love is…something that will make you do anything.

Love is…intense and passionate.

Love is…something that makes everything seem brighter, happier and more wonderful.

Love is…caring deeply about another person.

Love is…when every time you see this person you get butterflies in your stomach.

[this one is extra special for your birthday]
Love is…like being in wonderland without the red queen. Sometimes everything makes sense, other times no one cares.

© jennifer kiley 2013

I Just Called To Say I Love You-Stevie Wonder

hand letting go of golden flecks gif

Seasons of Our Dreams
By Jennifer Kiley
August 2013

Delicate will we prance on softness of grass;
leaves that trees must shed and piles
for the child within to crash upon;
angels in white falling into drops
of flaked, crystallized rain;
return of green from smallest sprout
one moment and blooming shades of gleaming greens
and flowers multiplying colours across the fields;
we travel round the seasons of our dreams
and moments found where love is felt
from tender shades of changes in our heart and soul;
we flow and go along in joy and bliss.

© jennifer kiley 2013

moving water gif

Flamme Abstrait de Couleurs par j. kiley

Roue de la Fortune — Souhait— Les Rêves se Réalisent par j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

happy birthday niamh

candle-flame-gif

To Make You Chuckle. 8-) Jk

To Make You Chuckle. 8-) Jk