Private Moments #56: Heart Locked Away

private moments in paintings & poetry
Private Moments #56: Heart Locked Away
Poem by Jennifer Kiley
Painting by Jk McCormack
Post Created 1st April 2014
Posted On Monday 7th April 2014
PRIVATE MOMENTS INSIDE PAINTINGS & POETRY

Private Writings: Chapter #56 — I’ve Had To Lock My Love Away

temptations to wonderland (c) Jkm 2014

Temptations to Wonderland (c) Jkm 2008

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~
(1563-1631)

hands reaching out into rain

Heart Locked Away
Poem by Madison Taylor
30th September 2008

Heart locked away
In a dark hidden room
Few knew the entrance
Words protected its opening

Long ago ages upon a time
A tale of amazement was unfolding
Riches were stored away protected
Untouched wrongly unraveled through temptation

Possessing objects not your own
In sight of vision but securely protected
Without the owners permission
It is certain torture for the outrage

A definite sentence of death to follow
For the one who lusted perversely
Upon the head of the prisoner
Both shall die beheadings at dawn

Insane tales end badly

© Madison Taylor 2008

candle flame flickering gif

Maze

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p “Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

* * * * * * *

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”
— JkM the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

* * * * * * *

The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death

tell me a story
The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death
TED Talk: Steve Cave
Notations by Jennifer Kiley
Created 6th January 2014
Posted On Thursday 27th February 2014
TELL ME A STORY

The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death

One day we realize we will die.

Bias: Where we get things wrong.

4 stories of Immortality:

Story 1: ELIXIR – [Myth of the Fountain of Youth] We want to avoid death. Science can cure death.

Story 2: RESURRECTION – I am this body. I can rise up & live again. [Reincarnation] Cryonics is having yourself frozen.

Story 3: SOUL – Leave body behind. Live on as a Soul.

Story 4: LEGACY – Live on through your work. Live on through your echo fame.

Be skeptical of all these stories we believe because we are biased. Because we are afraid pf death. Fear of death is natural but not rational. Too scary to believe we will be gone.

Quote from Ludwig Wittgenstein: “Death is not an event in life. We do not live to experience death.”

Our lives are bound by birth and death.

You just make it a good story – your life.

Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 31st December 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.

NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.

ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell,
psychoanalyst extraordinaire,
storytelling using letters, dreams, thoughts, poems, images,
music, art, scripts, psychotherapy, psychoanalysis,
inspirations, reflective comments, inner/outer workings
mind, soul, body, emotions, bipolar, mentally creative, interesting,
brain misfiring; abuse, crashes, near drownings,
hallucinations, heightened sexuality, time warps,
finding answers, unsolved mysteries, infatuations,
imagination, fantasy, discover self, soul, eternal serenity, bliss

see you down the rabbit hole.
namaste! madison taylor

It’s the Way You Love Me

Private Writings: Chapter #41 — The Killing

Tuesday 24th June 2008

Dear Annie,

One of our animals died. Molly, my horse, at least the one I always ride. She lived 34 years. It was a week of joy and flips over to death from being way too old to be alive. What makes the best age to die? If life gets out of control. You feel you have no future. Those who earn from you, aren’t earning. What is the solution to this problem? Who earns more, a live Picasso, or a dead John Lennon?

Why do those we let in, who we get close to, have to die? Which means another abandonment. I am so much closer to animals. Scottie called one of our exotic companion animals a human. At first, I thought I heard wrong. Just think deeply. They are human. Animals are. I’m sure the Christian Right would balk at being put on the same level of animals. Their feeling of being in the highest order is a birthright. A convincing argument for their feeling of superiority. Everyone else should starve to death.

Not my belief. Animals are righteous. The higher level belongs to them. They don’t work for a living, they just live. No reporting to a 9 to 5. No boss. Yes, there is a hierarchy with animals but so different than how people have fucked over who we are and how we live. It’s a hierarchy of a few who own the controlling interest of the world. Then there are the slaves, bearly making it from day to day.

It feels strange to lose someone. Molly has been in my life for over half the time I’ve been alive. I’ve known her since I witnessed her birth. In the heat of a late summer’s night. Now she is gone. I don’t do loss very well. And right now, I want to feel great having Alison back.

She got right into the business. Scottie took her to our studio today. Editing on “Touched by the Spirit” needs attention. Alison is “jumping right into the deep end.” Who came up with that line? It tends to get you drowned. I, literally, did it once, and pretty nearly didn’t survive. It is a haunting. Someone wants me to die inhaling water rather than air. No last breath of that to go out on. Hope it is not an Omen. Don’t want to die that way.

Do I have a particular way I would like to go out taking my last bow? First, I would like to be healthy the rest of my life. Second, I want to create till the very end, my mind would be quick, witty and sharp. Third, I want to drift off inside the best dream ever and drift away forever inside my dream. Everyone I love would be there or join me there. An after-life filled with all the ultimate pleasures surrounded by love and bliss.

Death is all around me. My senses are always connecting close to the edge of time and infinity. We may close off the reception but it is there waiting to break through into my consciousness.

It feels good to have our family together. Alison fits perfectly. No jealousy. Pure love, respect and caring all around us. I think it makes a difference Alison having her own home on the estate. The Chateau de Rocher is always her home but she needs her own home, where she can build her life. We made a pack to always eat dinners together when the film allows it or if any one of us has an important private engagement. We, Scottie and I, want Alison to have a personal life.

Curious, we never discussed with Alison what her inclination with intimacy and where her crushing love swings. She has never shown a personal interest in either sex or transgender individuals. She doesn’t seem interested in or notices others who might be attracted to her. Never gave time to romantic closeness. Should we be concerned?

Not everyone is interested in sexual intimacy or relationships with a romantic undercurrent. She rejects any possibilities of engaging with anyone. No reason to be concerned. Alison never talked or wrote about anyone special. She had friends but nothing ever went beyond the closeness of a friendship.

Are we good parents to not get into a discussion with Alison? She may not know how to talk to anyone about closeness of an intimate nature. I feel for her. Not my strongest ability growing up with my morally corrupt family. I didn’t know I needed someone to talk to me. Not something I did growing up, talking. Strictly quiet unless I lost it and began crying.

When that happened, all scattered, abandoning me with the Shadow Mother. A Bogeyman of the scariest kind. They hide in the shadows under your bed or in the closet while the light is switched off, only came out at night. Daytime, they would transform from shadows, entering into people who accepted their terms. Anything goes, and not of the musical kind.

My mother was one of those, who made the deal. She became possessed by evil. Her punishment was calculating and torturous. A former member of the Spanish Inquisition. One of the Torturers. She especially liked hot burning items, silk scarves to bide hands and silencing any noise coming from my mouth, and devices for striking the flesh. Often whips of various lengths and bites. Right out of the cupboards of the Marquis de Sade. Sadistic and Masochistic. With the Shadow Mother there were no safe words. I am not so sure if the Marquis de Sade had them either.

The Shadow Mother has been dismissed. Will that stop her hauntings? Sometimes it’s important to out your daemons, in order to steal their power away. What happens then? I certainly don’t want it. No desire to be evil. I just want to feel. Let it be joy but tears are a form of bliss. Laughter through tears, the deepest feelings are evoked. Let sadness in. It isn’t meant to be rejected. Depression will secure a space if the truth of emotions are not allowed freedom of expression.

Some law should be carved into the Constitution: Freedom of Emotions, but unlike guns, no one is allowed to do harm.

It has been an elevator ride this week with moods. Manic, excited, happy our girl is home. Exhausted with sadness, our Molly is gone. It was too sudden. Death should be required to give fair notice. Not with misery but with time to prepare. And no, one should not prepare for death the moment we are born. “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.” I suppose death feels the same.

Let’s switch to optimism and an endless supply of time.

It’s time for “Brief Sacrifice” and my favorite closing line.

“Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all places as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.”

For you, I will end this letter in “the moment between seconds.”

Love Fondly,

Madison

@-;—

© madison taylor 2008

Energy --- Artist & Founder Julia Watkins [Energism Art]

Energy — Artist & Founder Julia Watkins [Energism Art]


Somewhere In Time – John Barry

colourful bunch of flowers DArt do

rain in garden gif

Pure Ecstasy
By Madison Taylor
24th June 2008

Become
That which lives within
We are free

Being
The spirit alive
In our nature
Fighting the darkness

Entrance
Into the world
Through accidental
Analytical intention

Mysticism
Pours forth
Ideas words thoughts images
Carrying projections
Floating inside imagination

Consciousness
Kept protected and hidden
Now is free

Acceptance
Enthusiastic
Cautious
Anticipating
Thrilling

Beyond
Overwhelmingly good
Creating a heightened state
Of pure ecstasy

© madison taylor 2008

Cirque Foncé by jkmccormack (c) JkM 2007

Cirque Foncé by jkmccormack (c) jKm 2007

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream

In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher

play is not just play meryl streep

“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibilities.”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

Last Night I Dreamt of Manderley

movies to watch films to see

Last Night I Dreamt of Manderley
Tribute to Joan Fontaine
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Created on Thursday 19th December 2013
Posted on Friday 20th December 2013
FILM FRIDAY

joan_fontaine starring

The deaths, last weekend, of Peter O’Toole and Joan Fontaine reminded me of star royalty. Fontaine had drifted away. I kept checking to make sure she was alive. But now, I know she is no longer with us. Her sister, and rival is still here. One year older and on the other side of the ocean, that is how Joan Fontaine had acted since she won an Oscar in the same year they both were nominated. Olivia de Haviland just wanted to congratulate her but for whatever reason, Joan Fontaine wanted none of it. That was where the line was drawn.

I continue to watch her films today, she made many brilliant ones. My favorite is “Rebecca” and yes, there is the housekeeper Mrs. Danvers. The other is Hitchcock’s “Suspicion,” where her character feels that her husband [Cary Grant] is trying to kill her. The audience isn’t any better at knowing the truth than her character. We find what she knows or thinks she knows, convinces us maybe she is right. I love both sisters. They gave us great characters to love. Olivia de Haviland’s favorite of mine is Melanie in “Gone With the Wind.” She is probably the sweetest character who ever existed in films.

Families all have their problems and some just do not get along or want anything to do with the other member, no matter what. In this case, Joan Fontaine took to the grave the absence of her sister from her life. It wasn’t a Hollywood pretend distance. It was made by something only Joan or Olivia know for sure. And now only Olivia holds the truth of it.

But I found out something today, rummaging around, Joan Fontaine, in her own words, when asked the question, what caused the broken connection between you and your sister. Joan Fontaine’s answer was extensive & will post the interview tape for those who want to hear it first hand. First, when they were children, Olivia showed absolutely no warmth toward Joan at all. There was the mystery of a broken collar bone. Joan said she assumed it was an accident. But even that wasn’t the worst part. When they were adults, Joan Fontaine had prepared her 80 year old mother for death. Along comes Olivia wanting the doctors to cut open their mother, to probe inside her to see if they can fix her. Joan told her sister she would have none of that. She wouldn’t consent. Well, Joan had some commitments to take care of. When there mother died, Olivia sent Joan a telegram to inform her of their mother’s death without finding out where she was. She received the telegram two weeks after her mother died. To Joan, this was unforgivable. Olivia knew how to find her. After listening to Joan Fontaine speak of this, it makes me wonder who lies behind that sweet face of Melonie from “Gone With the Wind.” Remember Olivia de Haviland is 97, one year older than Joan Fontaine and still very much alive, living in Paris, France. Joan Fontaine lived in LA, California.

I have pulled together a treat of videos to watch, I felt these were the best. Some are funny, others are tributes & you may need something to blot your eyes. One is her screen test for Hitchcock’s “Rebecca.” She is brilliant just reading for the role. The assortment is a walk down the road with someone I find to be one of the Great Actresses we will never see again in anyone new coming up. Joan Fontaine made a statement on one of the tapes which I will paraphrase. She didn’t feel those in the film industry were making films to make anyone special any longer. If you look around at what we call celebrity today, I believe she has something in what she says. No one is really special. Someone may stand out for a brief moment in between the next film or TV show we watch. But it doesn’t feel that anyone stays with us, not the way that Greta Garbo, Humphrey Bogart, Cary Grant, Elizabeth Taylor, Katherine Hepburn, Jimmy Stewart, just to name a few, have done. And now we can add to this list Peter O’Toole and Joan Fontaine, to those who were special and will remain special. They made films that make them last into immortality.

Joan_Fontaine olivier's back

Enjoy the videos I found. Watch whatever strikes you. There are some great shots of Joan Fontaine. Tribute made by fans. Love springs out from most everyone. There is even a great and fun interview segment from the Mike Douglas Talk Show from long ago, Joan Fontaine is a guest host and the guest who is called out is “Tony Perkins,” none other than Norman Bates from the Hitchcock film “Psycho.” He is a delight. The interview is joyful and it gives the viewer a wonderful glimpse into Joan Fontaine and Anthony Perkins, who, also, is no longer with us. He is a gem the world lost to young. The two did “Tea and Sympathy” together on Broadway.

I will leave you to enjoy. I did this to honor a truly Great Actress I have loved since I was very young.

RIP Joan Fontaine. Remember You Are One of the Greats Forever!!!

Joan Fontaine’s Screen test for Rebecca

Trailer – Rebecca [Hitchcock] – Joan Fontaine

Joan Fontaine – Trailer for Jane Eyre

Joan Fontaine – Suspicion Trailer

Joan Fontaine – Tribute

Trailer – Letter from an Unknown Woman

Joan Fontaine – Tribute to a Beautiful Lady

RIP Joan Fontaine – Tribute

Tribute [en Francais] Letter to an Unknown Woman[Joan Fontaine & Louis Jourdan]

Retro Bites: Joan Fontaine – Sisters [Answers Questions Re: Feud with Olivia de Haviland & more]

Retro Bites: Joan Fontaine on Suspicion

Joan Fontaine & Tony Perkins on Mike Douglas Show [1967]

Joan [de Beauvois de Haviland] Fontaine

Movie Legends – Joan Fontaine

The video that follows below, is a silly one. I thought anyone with a sense of humor, and love “Rebecca” as many of us do, will appreciate this outrageous interpretation of it. Steve Hayes did this while Joan Fontaine was alive. There is no disrespect intended but more to celebrate the life of a Great Movie Star of the Highest Caliber by making light of, what I think, was her Greatest Role Ever and the Film for which she should have won the Oscar. She did win for another Hitchcock, which was made following “Rebecca” and that was the brilliantly made “Suspicion.” Joan Fontaine said that two endings were made and put before a test audience. And of course, the American type ending won. Now if you can let go of the protocol of being proper at a time when someone dies, you should definitely see this video. If you don’t feel this is appropriate, then give it a pass.

One last tidbit about “Rebecca,” Lawrence Olivier was ticked off Vivien Leigh, who did a screen test with Olivier, her husband, but, obviously, did not get the part, so he treated Joan Fontaine miserably. Now, Hitchcock being the director, you would think he would step in and correct the situation. Nope. Instead, he told Olivier to keep treating her badly. The rest of the cast received the same instructions. Hitchcock felt it would make for a better performance, having Joan Fontaine thrown off kilter and made to feel insecure and unsure of herself.

Now on with the crazy review of “Rebecca.”

STEVE HAYES: Tired Old Queen at the Movies – REBECCA

Forever Young

poetry out loud - day title saturday
Forever Young
Sung By Alphaville
Tribute For James Dean & John Lennon
Created by Jk the secret keeper
Post Created on Sunday 8th December 2013
Posted On Saturday 14th December 2013

POETRY OUT LOUD

Forever Young – Alphaville – Tribute to James Dean & John Lennon

“Boy, if I had one day when
I didn’t have to be all
confused and didn’t have
to feel that I was ashamed
of anything, if I felt that
I belonged someplace.”
— James Dean

Forever Young
Sung by Alphaville
Songwriters: Marian Gold.
Frank Martens. Bernhard Lloyd.

Let’s dance in style, lets dance for a while
Heaven can wait we’re only watching the skies
Hoping for the best but expecting the worst
Are you going to drop the bomb or not?
Let us die young or let us live forever
We don’t have the power but we never say never
Sitting in a sandpit, life is a short trip
The music’s for the sad men
Can you imagine when this race is won
Turn our golden faces into the sun
Praising our leaders we’re getting in tune
The music’s played by the madman

Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever
Forever young

Some are like water, some are like the heat
Some are a melody and some are the beat
Sooner or later they all will be gone
Why don’t they stay young
It’s so hard to get old without a cause
I don’t want to perish like a fading horse
Youth is like diamonds in the sun
And diamonds are forever
So many adventures couldn’t happen today
So many songs we forgot to play
So many dreams are swinging out of the blue
We let them come true

Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever young
Do you really want to live forever, forever forever
Forever young, i want to be forever

john-lennon-1960s-psychedelic-art

John Lennon 1960s Psychedelic Art

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted 26th November 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell, psychoanalyst extraordinaire,
my choice in form of storytelling is using letters with dreams, thoughts, poems, images,
music, art, describing my scripts, recent one ‘brief sacrifice,’ film is waiting for release,
psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner & outer workings
of the mind, soul, body, emotions, and bipolar—prefer mentally creative, or interesting,
or a brain misfiring; in the mix are abuse, crashes, near drownings, illegal drugs presently,
hallucinations, hypersexuality, time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuations,
imagination, fantasy, the never ending need to discover my self, my soul, my eternal serenity, my bliss
see you down the rabbit hole.
namaste! madison taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #36 — Thunder Shower on the Seine

Tuesday, 20th May 2008

Dear Annie,

I must open this letter with how in shock I am regarding your news relating to the possible question of murder results in Angela’s [Angie's] sudden & mysterious death. The M.E. Office reports the cause of her demise is from poisonous mushrooms. In their investigation, the detectives discovered Angela belonged to the Culinary Group ‘Epicurean’s Exotica.’ One of two of their favorite adventures were to seek out & claim discovery of exotic mushrooms.

The second was to have these obscene Culinary Events, where in, the price is an elevated $250,000 a plate, the Epicurean’s Exotica would host, this evening’s event in a specially announced secret location. Those who attend, receive an encrypted text to let them know the location for  “The Epicurean Delight.” The entree is always a surprise. This evening it is a freshly killed animal from the endangered species list, captured by members of the Culinary Group ‘Epicurean Exotica.’ In the middle of this, their quarterly secret  & illegal presentation, was the night Angela suddenly died. The prized species, on this evening, was the animal, most people thought was a direct descendant of the unicorn, the Oryx.

The killing of the Oryx, is a disturbing devastation for all Animal Rights Groups & supporters, the top of which is PETA [People for Ethical Treatment of Animals], who have a secret mole who makes them aware of the animal & the location. That evening it was being held near the San Diego Zoo. Ah, the irony, in a converted warehouse with modern chandeliers & lovely tables covered with exotic flowers as centerpieces. All the elegance the super-wealthy have developed a refined taste for throughout their pampered lives. So pampered, it is nothing to them they are going to be the cause of bringing so close to elimination from the earth, a most majestic creature as the Oryx. They have no shame or decency, just pure dilettante attitudes, feeling it is their right to destroy what doesn’t have a place in their oh, so grand world of order & no reminder of the nature of the environment that surrounds them.

PETA has been after the secret organization for years, but they always evaded capture & arrest, having the best law firms & most importantly, never getting caught with any evidence, just grossly satisfied patrons of their obscene practices.

After Angela died, the authorities were bought in to investigate. Now that Angela’s group, ‘Epicurean’s Exotica,’ has been named, a shift has been created in the case. Dr. George’s guilt or innocence has been brought into perspective. The judge has revisited his involvement & his incarceration in a locked ward of Bellevue of NYC, where he had been secretly transferred a short while ago. Why Bellevue, that is so outside the jurisdiction? You told me his wife has family in the city. Since the duration of his time incarcerated had yet to be established, it seem only a kind gesture from the court.

I think I am delighted to be in France & not in the middle of the USA controversy. Some of the press has found me, looking for notoriety. Avoidance has been my best way to cope, plus I have had make-up create some great disguises. I don’t wast to be connected with any side of the mess, except I would make a statement regarding Angela’s total disregard for animals not human & include it on her list of possessing a dead soulless body & her inhumanity just precedes her sudden departure from this world being a good thing. But after consideration, saying that would place me within her over populated part of the dark side of the human species.

Give me Light with a Touch of Fire & Artistic Temperament any day, PLEASE, over being totally possessed/obsessed with practicing way too cleverly the crass art of darkness & evil as your soul-less life’s purpose. Give them a wide berth from all whom I love & myself, at all times, day or night. Cover us in Love, Hope, Joy, & Bliss as our Protection.

Onto Jonathan, my best Gay & Male Friend, WE MET FINALLY. It was at Versailles, the Tuileries Garden. Jonathan made all the arrangement for a catered feast for a High Afternoon Tea, even though we were in Paris.

We hugged & placed our selves down upon the colorful pillows carefully placed on a well designed blanket of a splendid shade of blue, one of my favorites, with a print of my most loved of Jonathan Stephens’ paintings. He arranged this all for us & made it all absolutely perfect. Tea was served with tasty cucumber & creamed cheese sandwiches, caviar & Bremer Crackers, & Brie with the softness of almost melted.

After the Tea was taken away, in came the signature favorites of almost all special treats in a good afternoon. Dom Perignon served in flute glasses & perfectly ripened strawberries with stems & already dipped in the finest Swiss Milk Chocolate. Jonathan treated me like a lover as he served me by his fingertips with all the lovely delicacies.

To highlight the thrilling enjoyment our special feast, a musical pleasure was given by a cellist playing my favorite of Yo-Yo Ma, though never quite the manner in which Yo-Yo Ma would would play them. She was unique. I am certain this young woman’s idol would respect her quality of soul & presentation. She was a delight to hear. So beautiful her sound & features & pure her soul for music.

Our time was filled with talking & listening to the others stories. He was already filled up with Hunter Marx, I thought he should tell me more on the developments with Jamie Baxter, his mate, 25 yrs, to Jonathan, he is the one. He is the male lead in “Touched by the Spirits,” playing the role of Thomas Maxwell opposite Hunter.

Jonathan gives me some background on his new mate & how he feels about him. Jonathan is in love. It feels real not a moment of excitement, a 3 month turn-on, but the depth of e.e. cummings kind of poetic love.

‘i carry your heart’ by e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Jonathan tells me, he is in love & it really feels exceptional. His lover is no longer what he refers to as his Boy-Toy. There is much more depth of being inside of him. His sensitivity makes Jonathan tear up when he is speaking to me. Jonathan’s never once in a visual chat ever did I see a tear. He has deep feelings but rushes through sentiment quickly, so not to reveal his needs & wanting desires.

I am not use to the emotions of men. Don’t trust the male sex. Jonathan isn’t like any person I’ve met. As a man, he was created by Cupid & Psyche from the purity of love. His sensitivity exceeds that of many I have thought sensitive. I am not being egotistical but we are on a similar level of loving & living from out of our innocence & sensitive natures. I love Jonathan as a spiritual equivalent.

We joke with the other but we know our similarities are that of pairs meeting again after knowing the other through many past lives & pulled apart from the other. Always sharing a spiritual divination & that of switching sexes interchangeably being a male one time to being female in the next life. But always finding the other through all the possible serendipities. We are mates of a whole different order.

At one point, I ask Jonathan if he would enjoy hearing what my nemesis & his love were doing mating in my new film script? Jonathan was overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Anything pertaining to his ‘soul mate’ pleased him in an altogether thrilling manner.

So, on with the tale of “Touched by the Spirits,” written by Madison Taylor. Directed by Scottie Andrews. Production Co. “Infinite Imaginations, Inc.” Starring Hunter Marx in the role of Kristi Harrison & Jamie Maxwell in the role of Thomas Baxter.

The film opens at a party. The two lead characters start out drunk when they first meet. “Touched by the Spirit” is a comedy with ghosts of the playful kind Thomas & Kristi fall into some sort of intimate relationship & end up both possibly manifesting as ghosts.

In human form alive they are involved with two people who in real life find themselves attracted to their now ghost mates’ partners, who are still alive & in pain. Turning to the other after the joint funeral, their partners died in a single engine plane crash with 3 passengers, the only survivor being the pilot. He bears witness to his passengers love affair.

As the survivor tells his story, time morphs back into watching how everything evolves as Thomas & Kristina start falling in love & decide to go away together for a week, some time passing after their first drunken encounter. The location they both decide upon is Paris. They hire a pilot to fly them around the outer rim of the city. They weren’t allowed to fly too close to Paris, illegal b/c of terrorism & danger of all sorts.

On one of those many flights, they decide to leave the parameters of Paris to head toward the English Channel. As they fly over the Channel, they unknowingly head into a fast moving, spontaneous & unsuspecting thunderstorm. Their plane is struck by lightning & crash lands. Radio is out so radio silence cuts them off from the world at the end. All were thought dead, but one survived, just not found as of yet.

The survivor found them self washed ashore on the Channel island of Alderney. A small section of the island appeared abandoned, rough & deserted, no sight of civilization. But the pilot, Pierre, was always diligent regarding the filing of flight plans. Even so, the survivor isn’t rescued right away. While they wait, here comes on the haunting by two ghosts who have no idea they are dead. All they know is the survivor can’t hear them, so they think the survivor was, in actuality, the ghost & they were still alive. A huge confusion sets in & hilarity ensues.

I asked Jonathan what he thought, I will save his response & now I put it to you. Do you think my script has got it? To me it feels like real love is touched in this film. It may have Hunter to handle but I want this to work for Scottie & me. This is my Anniversary gift to Scottie, a brilliant artist & film maker, who knows how to draw out the soul & life of a film. My characters, she develops from my scripts, have such depth, in either comedy or drama. Even in this comedy, there is just the perfect amount of drama. It touches a person’s pain just enough that the laughter is set off. All in fun, but still the serious side that comedy hides so delicately touches when we look away in our out loud laughs being released.

I loved how you described to me what happened on the bed with Scottie. When I touched her & felt electrocuted by lightning, it felt all wrong. You saw what my abusers did in their torturing me. How, after I buried them, I am still able to see them & feel what they all did. A pain shocks me with fear, a nightmare blinds me with its symbols of power distorted. It’s as if time takes me there & resurrects the torture, the burning of my flesh with agony of tearing & bleeding.

Being raped too many times, & seeing it is not enough for me to qualify for forgiveness by the bullies in society. They never understand the damage inflicted by them on the innocent victims. They see an opportunity & the knife is stuck through my ribs to draw out my breath. They watch as I attempt my last moment of fear, to see if their blow has taken me out this time. So they can feel victorious. They landed their final blow, at last. Otherwise, why continue performing their rituals of destruction & power.

Why won’t they seek out their redemption & forgiveness. As Christ would say, “Go out & sin no more.” Is that statement so hard to hear by the believer & non-believer alike. Why does anyone intentionally hurt someone? What satisfaction is there to receive but establishing the depth of their true cruelty.

I have to stop. I will leave you with my familiar line from, “Brief Sacrifices.” But before I do, I want you to know I am going to write for you a love poem. The kind meant for those I love in the way of Pure Love. No sexual complications involved. It will be for you Annie & all those wonderful people I know & love so deeply. This is for those I have loved & will continue to love throughout all my life times.

“Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all places as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.”

“The moment between seconds.”

For you, I will end this letter in “the moment between seconds.”

Love Fondly,
Madison
@>-;—

© madison taylor 2008

writing-laptop_work-food-wineLaptop in USA Where Annie has Sessions with Madison 

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

blue flowersPhotographer (c) uthamz.wordpress.com [a tribute]

rain in garden gif

“All Whom I Love”
By Madison Taylor 20th May 2008
Dedicated to “Annie”
Through All Our Life Times

All whom I love
Through all life times
Such depth of dreaming
A dream of truth
Filled with being
Overflowing with presence

Knowing we touched before
Holding hands and hugs
Intertwined as a pebble
Joins ripples to waves
Washing time away
In echoes of the past

Time passes
In repeat formation
Likening to history
A solid foundation
Changes occurring
New dances formulation

Our bodies locked
Together in hugs warm
In cold of windy days
Covering the air
Snowflakes falling
Forming flowers

Approaching days
Springs revelations
Colors are treating
Vision to gazes
Of treasures
All need for creation

Teaching newness
Arriving in time
Drawing an awakening
Love in streams traveling
Renewing our places
In continuing time

© madison taylor 2008

Mothernature - Artist Katrin Fridricks

Mothernature – Artist Katrin Fridricks

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

outside the louvre paris

paris  Louvre et Tuileries

paris foreground garden Palace of Versailles

Blue green yellow Abstract Blanket

Blue green yellow Abstract Blanket

paris balconies

Paris Carousel & Eiffel Tower

jonathan stephens imaginary framedJonathan Stephens is Madison Taylor’s friend in Paris, France. 1st time meeting. Skype.

actresses-with-long-hair-hairstyle frenchHunter Marx [taken 7 years ago in 2001 the year Hunter & Madison met]
play is not just play meryl streep

Best Film Ever #9: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

Cat-on-a-Hot-Tin-Roof-Poster
Best Film Ever #9: Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Film Review by Don Kaye [Rotten Tomatoes]
Post Create by Jk the secret keeper
Illustrated by j. kiley
Post Created on Thursday 7th November 2013
Posted On Friday 8th November 2013
FILM FRIDAY

5 stars

dedicated to roger ebert film friday

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) elizabeth in gold bed

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof
Adapted from Tennessee Williams Play

This dynamic and commanding adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ Pulitzer Prize-winning play focuses on a troubled Southern family and the discord over their dying father’s millions.

Cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof elizabeth holding gold bed frame

Wealthy plantation owner Big Daddy Pollitt (Burl Ives), celebrating his 65th birthday, is visited by his sons, Brick (Paul Newman) and Gooper (Jack Carson).

cat paul & elizabeth in slip & robe

He has cancer, but a doctor has deliberately and falsely declared it in remission. Seemingly perfect son Gooper and his wife, Mae (Madeleine Sherwood), have several children and are anxiously expecting to inherit Daddy’s millions.

cat elizabeth yelling at paul

By contrast, Big Daddy’s “favorite,” Brick, is a has-been football star who’s taken to drinking his days away since the suicide of his “best friend” a year earlier.

Archives: Elizabeth Taylor in United States on April 04th, 1998.

He resents his wife, Maggie (Elizabeth Taylor), because he believes that she had an affair with his deceased friend. As a result, he refuses to sleep with her, although she remains devoted to him.

cat paul w glass in hand sitting on floor

Since Brick and Maggie have failed to produce any grandchildren, Big Daddy is inclined to leave his estate to Gooper, but Maggie attempts to prevent that by telling him that she is pregnant.

Cat on a Hot Tine Roof [Elizabeth Taylor & Paul Newman talking]

Big Daddy knows better, yet he recognizes that Maggie loves Brick so much that she would be willing to do anything for him.

CatTinRoof_paul w glass elizabeth talking

Although Brick is self-destructive and resentful, unable to come to terms with his losses, it takes Big Daddy’s recognition of his own mortality to make Brick change his perspective.

NewmanCatOnTinRoof taylor b&w

Brick’s struggle with his sexual identity, and the nature of his relationship with his “friend,” had to be toned down for mass consumption, although this intelligently written and acted film covers such topics as infertility, adultery, and alcoholism that were still considered taboo in the 1950s.

paul & elizabeth closeup

Newman brings depth and feeling to the role as Brick, while Taylor succeeds brilliantly in portraying Maggie as a passionate and understanding woman despite her own real-life emotional turmoil over the death of her husband, at the time, producer Mike Todd. [He died in a plane crash. Elizabeth Taylor was devastated. note by Jk.]

cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof paul newman

Camille Paglia wrote on Elizabeth Taylor

“She wields the sexual power that feminism cannot explain and has tried to destroy. Through stars like Taylor, we sense the world-disordering impact of legendary women like Delilah, Salome, and Helen of Troy. Feminism has tried to dismiss the femme fatale as a misogynist libel, a hoary cliche. But the femme fatale expresses women’s ancient and eternal control of the sexual realm.

cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof-burl-ives-elizabeth-taylor-paul-newman-1958 big daddy

Exactly. At that time, you have to realize, Elizabeth Taylor was still being underestimated as an actress. No one took her seriously — she would even make jokes about it in public. And when I wrote that piece, Meryl Streep was constantly being touted as the greatest actress who ever lived. I was in total revolt against that and launched this protest because I think that Elizabeth Taylor is actually a greater actress than Meryl Streep [I love Meryl Streep but I must agree, I love Elizabeth Taylor and she is a magnificent Actress], despite Streep’s command of a certain kind of technical skill.

cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof-paul bg & elizabeth fg

To me, Elizabeth Taylor’s importance as an actress was that she represented a kind of womanliness that is now completely impossible to find on the U.S. or U.K. screen. It was rooted in hormonal reality — the vitality of nature. She was single-handedly a living rebuke to postmodernism and post-structuralism, which maintain that gender is merely a social construct. Let me give you an example. Lisa Cholodenko’s “The Kids Are All Right” is a truly wonderful film, but Julianne Moore and Annette Bening — who is fabulous in it and should have won the Oscar for her portrayal of a prototypical contemporary American career woman — were painfully scrawny to look at on the screen. This is the standard starvation look that is now projected by Hollywood women stars — a skeletal, Pilates-honed, anorexic silhouette, which has nothing to do with females as most of the world understands them. There’s something almost android about the depictions of women currently being projected by Hollywood.

cat-on-a-hot-tin-roof-paul w elizabeth behind him 1958

Elizabeth Taylor has been a colossal pagan goddess…my sensibility as a culture critic and as a feminist was deeply formed by her. In the U.S. in the 1950s, blondes were the ultimate Aryan ideal…And then there was Elizabeth Taylor with that gorgeous, brunette, ethnic look. She looked Jewish, Italian, Spanish, even Moorish! She was truly transcultural — it was a radical resistance to the dominance of the blond sorority queens and cheerleaders. And then her open sexuality in that puritanical period! It was so daring…

Paul-Newman-in-Cat-on-a-Hot-Tin-Roof

There was a long feminist attack on the Hollywood sex symbol as a sex object, a commodified thing, passive to the male gaze, and it’s such a crock! …There’s that incredible moment in the bar [Elizabeth Taylor in the film "Butterfield 8] where she’s wearing a svelte black dress and she and Laurence Harvey are fighting. He grabs her by the arm, and she grinds her stiletto heel into his elegant shoe. It’s male vs. female — a ferocious equal match. He’s strong, but she’s strong too! That scene shows the power and intensity of heterosexuality, with all its tensions and conflicts. It also shows how terrible current Hollywood filmmaking is — how false and manufactured sex has become. There’s no real eroticism anymore.

* * * * * * *

Taylor’s acting has been resurrected by Turner Classic Movies, which is exposing new generations to her films, minus the off-screen publicity — scandals, illnesses, tragedies and melodramas — that accompanied her for her entire life.

…if you want to see what the Taylor legend is really about, some of my favorites are: “A Place in the Sun” (George Stevens, 1951), “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” (Richard Brooks, 1958), “Suddenly, Last Summer” (Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 1959), “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” (Mike Nichols, 1960 — for which Taylor won her second Oscar for best actress) — all but the first of which, oddly, are based on stage plays. — Modified by Jennifer Kiley

big_daddy_brick paul in cat sitting in rain

Cat on a Hot Tine Roof Trailer [1958]

cat_on_a_hot_tin_roof poster

Best Films Top Ten #11: Fried Green Tomatoes

Fried Green Tomatoes Poster

Fried Green Tomatoes
Best Films Top Ten #11
Special Feature
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Posted Created on Tuesday 15th October 2013
Posted on Friday 18th October 2013
FILM FRIDAY
dedicated to roger ebert film friday

5 stars

Fried Green Tomatoes
Love Story of Idgie & Ruth
Written by Jennifer Kiley
17th October 2013

Romantic. Sad & Joyful. Celebration of two women who love each other. The KKK try to tear their family, life & world apart. They held their common bond in Buddy through his namesake in Ruth’s child Buddy Jr.

The film opens with Idgie, at a single digit age, not wanting to wear a dress for a sibling’s wedding ceremony. She climbs into her tree fort & refuses to come down.

I should take a few steps back. The story of Idgie Threadgoode and Ruth Jamison is told to us through the memories of Ninny Threadgoode. She lives in a nursing home, where one day wanders into the visitors lounge a confused woman who is there with her husband to visit one of his relatives, who hates Evelyn Couch. Her husband ends up visiting alone, while she spends the time alone herself, just wandering around & ends up in the visitors lounge.

A voice comes out of the silence. Ninny & Evelyn meet. A reluctant Evelyn sits with Ninny, who begins to talk her ear off. Evelyn is not sure what she has gotten herself into but she is about to find out. Something surprising, in which she becomes enthusiastic about overtime. It is when Ninny starts telling the story of two special women, one being a direct member of her own family, and the other person, a friend of the family. The family member is Idgie Threadgoode and the other woman is Ruth Jamison.

Their life merging in many different ways turns into one of the most interesting story’s filled with trauma and sadness but also excitement and joy. The film Fried Green Tomatoes is the unusual name of this treat. The story pulls the audience into it & you never want it to end. There is one person you want to see meet his demise as soon as you lay your eyes on him. Mr. Frank Bennett. He is nothing but trouble for everyone he comes in contact with & he must be taken out. I hated him immediately & my hatred grew as I found out more. He was simply put, a violent creep, an abuser, and a brute.

My main focus was what happened between Idgie & Ruth. Idgie’s family wanted Ruth to help guide her in any way possible. “To have a good influence on her.” Did she? That is debatable who had an effect on whom. When she lost her brother, Buddy, who she loved more than anything in the world, she was so devastated she escaped from her life. Slept on the shore of the lake. Big George, who ended up taking care of her for most of her life, watched over her. Ruth, also, lost Buddy that day.

Ruth was Buddy’s fiancée & missed him just as much as Idgie did. Her job was to follow Idgie around & instead of her guiding Idgie, Idgie took control & they had many adventures. Never one she would have thought of herself. One such adventure was to hop a train car & throw food to the poorer people of their area. Basically, stealing from the haves and giving to the have nots. At first Ruth felt it was stealing. Then she saw the hungry children. Her mind changed & so did her enthusiasm.

As Idgie & Ruth get closer. Idgie throws her a great surprise birthday party in the poorer side of town where she hangs out regularly. They drank, played poker & drunk baseball. Ruth got a home run but hit like a girl. Afterwards, the two sat on the shore & practically kissed. But Ruth broke the magic by saying she would be the good daughter and marry the man she was supposed to marry, who turned into Frank Bennett.

Life turned sour after that. Idgie didn’t go to the wedding. But one day she decided to visit Ruth, who kept the screen door between them & hid a huge bruise on her face. Idgie left without knowing. Frank came to the door as Idgie drove away. He had contempt in his eyes.

When Ruth’s mother died, it was time for Ruth to escape. She sent a note to Idgie in a disguise. A cryptic Bible passage. It was a hint she needed rescuing. When Idgie got to Ruth’s place, along with her brother Julian & Big George, she found her upstairs alone, gazing out the window. She told Idgie she was pregnant. Idgie told Ruth she was leaving with her. They got her belongings & as they were ready to exit the front door, Frank came in. By this time, Julian & Big George heard them from the car. In the struggles, he started to carry Ruth over his shoulder up the stairs & told Idgie to leave.

Julian & Big George convinced Frank to put Ruth down. Big George politely threatened him as he was holding his knife. Frank turned around & released Ruth to go down the stairs. Before she took one step down, he kicked her from behind, sending her flying down the stairs to land directly on her stomach. Idgie & Julian helped her up & Big George helped her to the car. Idgie looked straight up at Frank & threatened him, “If you ever touch her again, I’ll kill you.”

Life did change for Idgie & Ruth. They opened the Whistlestop Café. Ruth had her baby & named him Buddy Jr.. They built a life together. They were generous to the poor. One in particular, Smokey Lonesome, frequented Whistlestop Café & they saw to it he was always taken care of with food & a bottle to steady his nerves. Even a warm blanket for an outside room where he could sleep. They were also good to the black folk who came for food. It was a time when whites and blacks didn’t mix. Whistlestop didn’t believe in segregation so they served anyone who wanted a meal.

Grady, the law now, and friend of Idgie’s, told them they had to behave & follow the rules or there would be trouble from the KKK. Idgie knew Grady was a Klan member. But the local group was fairly liberal compared to the way they behaved elsewhere. Idgie & Ruth came to an agreement, they would continue to serve black people but they would have them eat at the picnic tables outside, in the back near the barbeque. That’s where Big George made the best barbeque in the whole of the South.

Further trouble struck one night. Frank heard he had a son. So he came with his Klan members from a state over with bad intentions.. He knocked Sipsey out when he tried to take Buddy. Ruth got wind he was there and stopped him. Sipsey came to & told him she wasn’t afraid of him. He told her she should be. He finally did leave but not until they harassed Big George & tied him up & whipped him. Idgie threatened the Klan if they didn’t stop. Grady stopped her but stepped in himself. He made them leave. Idgie untied Big George & took him away to tend to his wounds.

Frank did return on another night, alone, & stole the baby out of the house. As he was attempting to get into his truck, he was stopped several times by Smokey Lonesome. He punched Smokey & knocked him over several times. When out of the blue someone came up from behind & clobbered him with a cast iron skillet. That was it. He fell to the ground & someone picked up the baby basket. That was the last anyone heard about Frank Bennett.

What was ahead, from that point on seemed to go smoothly but things kept on happening. A member of the law kept looking for Frank Bennett. He ate a lot of the barbeque that Big George prepared. When he asked how they got it to taste so good, Sipsey [Cicely Tyson] told him, “The secret’s in the sauce.”. He was like a dog with a bone, when it came to Frank’s disappearance.

One damned day, a rusty truck was washed up during a great rain. It turned out to be Frank’s. The law from the next state came after Idgie.

Now believe it or not, I haven’t really told you too much. There is so much more happening that I haven’t revealed. Of course, there is a court case. It is all rather funny.

Now you must realize, I am only telling you the story Ninny is telling to Evelyn Couch. There is so much more to tell. First, that Fried Green Tomatoes is a brilliant & emotionally deep film. Let’s not say it is only for the female sex. I don’t feel it is limited in that way.

For the rest of the story & for Ninny Threadgoode’s [Jessica Tandy] part of the story, you will definitely have to rent, buy or stream the film. It is a great story. Touching & funny, warm & women don’t take no sh*t in it. “Towanda!” The cry of the angry woman who is tired of being mistreated & overlooked by the rudeness of the young & the ill-mannered of the world.

The film is about the injustice & treatment of what society felt were the lesser people in the world. Not because they were lesser but because they were designated to second class citizenship by the white male majority [not really the majority but the rich white male who felt he owned everything & everyone that wasn’t like him]. Not a lot has changed, if you look around.

As I wrote in my post on marriage & relationships of an intimate nature, these connections always have a sad ending, sometimes short & sometimes we live til we are old but we are always going to have to say goodbye. In Mary-Louise Parker’s acting roles, she had the bad luck of her characters not having the longest of life spans. She is a brilliant actor & I have seen all the films she has been in. Fried Green Tomatoes was my introduction to her fine quality of acting.

To bring this treatise on FGT to an end, I leave you with film clips, trailer, photographs & music & even a music video I made of the film from shots in sequential order with the story with a beautiful song playing while you are viewing the results of my experimental creativity. Only just learning how to do the music video process.

I highly recommend this film. For me it is a FIVE STAR FILM. & I make it my #11 Best Films of All Time. When it was first released into theatres I went to two different towns to see it. They are 30+ miles apart & I went at night. The roads were very dark but I NEEDED to see this film again. It was extremely popular when it was released. That is all I can say. Fried Green Tomatoes are delicious & so is this film. Ciao!

fgt buddy carrying idgie after he gets her to come down

fgt buddy went up tree to get young idgie to come down to get dressed for wedding

fgt idgine when little in church for wedding b4 buddy is killed

fgt ruth walking across resevoir hearing buddy telling his story about the ducks & lake freezing

fried green tomatoes buddy ruth & idgie shortly before buddy is killed by trainFried Green Tomatoes Buddy Ruth & Idgie shortly before Buddy is killed by train. This totally devastates Idgie & she withdraws from the world. The only person who can reach her is Ruth.

fried_green_tomatoes waving to buddy on train tracks b4 they know train is coming

MCDFRGR EC009

Fried Green Tomatoes (1/10) Movie CLIP – Buddy’s Accident [1991]

fgt idgie meeting frank bennett b4 he marries ruth

fgt beecharmer two photos with lines re bc

fgt ruth tells idgie shes a bee-charmer

Fried Green Tomatoes (2/10) Movie CLIP – The Spark Back in Marriage

fgt kathy-bates as evelyn wrapped only in cellaphane for husband

FGT idgie w arm over ruths shoulder its 4 surprise bday party for ruth

fried green tomatos

fgt ruth tells idgie shes a bee-charmer

fried-green-tomatoes two marysScene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison on picnic, shortly before Idgie shows her she’s a “bee charmer.” Those are Ruth’s words to Idgie when she goes to the nearest tree loaded with honey & loads of honeybees. Idgie returns with a jar full of honey & beeswax with not a sting on her, bare arms & all.

FGT idgie w arm over ruths shoulder its 4 surprise bday party for ruth

fried green tomatoes party after party

fgt after party sitting on shore with feet in water idgie & ruth

Fried Green Tomatoes (3/10) Movie CLIP – The Best Birthday [1991]

Fried Green Tomatoes before the rescue Ruth & Idgie

Fried Green Tomatoes Idgie goes to visit Ruth after she is married. Ruth is acting strange & is hiding a huge bruise on the side of her face her husband put their. Idgie leaves against her better judgment.

fgt ruth trying to keep idgie from seeing bruise on her face at husbands place

fgt array of idgie ruth frank bennett nasty as can be bruise on ruths face

Scene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison matched up from time of youth & on top, after they have grown & Ruth is supposed to have been a good influence on her. I feel she was & is. She rescues Ruth from her abusive brute of a husband & they are finally able to live together & eventually raise the baby Ruth was pregnant with at the time of the rescue.

fried-green-tomatoes bastard husband throws ruth down stairs while she is pregnant when rescuedFried Green Tomatoes Ruth’s bastard husband won’t let Ruth go without being a pr*ck, so he puts his foot on her back and pushes her down the stairs while she is pregnant.

fried green tomatoes idgie rescue day of ruthFried Green Tomatoes Idgie stands up to Ruth’s husband & tells him if he ever touches her again she would kill him.

fgt idgie to frank bennett if you ever touch her again i'll kill you gif

fried-green-tomatoes the escape with ruthFried Green Tomatoes Idgie brought along her brother & her loyal friend, who also does the best barbeque for the Whistlestop Cafe. They both pose a threat to Ruth’s husband but Idgie’s friend threatens him, which could be dangerous for him because he is black & Ruth’s husband we later find out is a member of the KKK.

Fried Green Tomatoes (4/10) Movie CLIP – Ruth Leaves Frank [1991]

idgie threadgoode & ruth jamison fried green tomatoesScene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison matched up from time of youth & on top, after they have grown & Ruth is supposed to have been a good influence on her. I feel she was & is. She rescues Ruth from her abusive brute of a husband & they are finally able to live together & eventually raise the baby Ruth was pregnant with at the time of the rescue.

fried green tomatoes after rescue baby born set up whitlestop cafeFried Green Tomatoes Ruth, her baby boy & Idgie set up a life together. They open up the Whistlestop Cafe, which has the best barbeque like no other & all are welcome. No prejudice from them but their patrons aren’t as generous. But then they’re living in the times where everything is rough, but no one objects to their love.

fgt idgie ruth after food fight at cafe disagreement over taste of fgts

Fried Green Tomatoes (5/10) Movie CLIP – Food Fight [1991] HD

fried-green-tomatoes photo array of idgie & ruthFried Green Tomatoes This is an array of the relationship in photos of just how close a relationship Idgie & Ruth have developed over the years they know each other. It is a love relationship like no other. Their generosity with each other is spread out into the community ten fold.


Fried Green Tomatoes (6/10) Movie CLIP – Frank Intrudes on Ruth at Whistlestop

fgt cant look at own vagina evelyn crying as she is telling it to ninny gif“How many of those hormones are you taking.” Ninny asks this of Evelyn when she doesn’t seem to calm down.

Fried Green Tomatoes (7/10) Movie CLIP – Parking Lot Rage [1991]

FGT evelyn going thru change & telling ninny she doesn't know whats wrong w her

Fried Green Tomatoes (9/10) Movie CLIP – Evelyn the Destroyer [1991]

fgt evelyn in gif ramming vwTowanda!!! “Let’s face it girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.” A great retort to some snotty bitches who just f*cked the one too many times and Evelyn Couch had it with all the BS.

FGTs ruth telling idgie she has to leave so her shithead husband wont come back idgie assures her never

fgt night frank bennett met is maker

FGT barbeque big george

fgt big george idgies friend helped her thru buddy's death does best bar-b-q

fried-green-tomatoes-barbeque big george

fried_green_tomatoes_1991_smokey lonesome_returns pic of sipsey & ws grady idgies friend

Fried Green Tomatoes rusty truck dead bastard husband

fgt grady arresting idgie fpr frank bennetts murder she wont give up who really did it

fried green tomatoes idgie on trial for murder of frank bennett

fgt idgie on stand at her trial for murder of frank bennett

Fried Green Tomatoes (8/10) Movie CLIP – Taking the Stand [1991]

fgt after buddy jrs train accident big george rushing him to car to take to hospital

fgt at buddy jrs arms funeral lost in train accident almost killed like idgies bro buddy

fried green tomatoes ruth & idgie hugging

Fried_Green_Tomatoes_at_the_Whistle_Stop_Cafe idgie & ruth hats on

Fried-Green-Tomatoes-1991-kathy-bates evelyn eating only rabbit food

Ninny & Kathy Bates with Birthday FGTs w candles

fried-green-tomatoes kathy & ninny at end wants to bring her home to live

fgt evelyn takes ninny to whistlestop to see the town

Fried green Tomatoes ninny in whistlestop w evelyn after they see honey jar in front of ruths grave

fgt whistlestop cafe window

Fried Green Tomatoes (10/10) Movie CLIP – A Lady Always Knows When to Leave (1991) HD

Idgie and Ruth Love Story Fried Green Tomatoes (FGT)

Fried Green Tomatoes – Very Sad Scene

The Love Story of Idgie & Ruth-Created by Jennifer Kiley

CAST:

Kathy Bates…….Evelyn Couch

Mary Stuart Masterson……..Idgie Threadgoode

Mary-Louise Parker…….Ruth Jamison

           Jessica Tandy…….Ninny Threadgoode

Cicely Tyson…….Sipsey

Chris O’Donnell…….Buddy Threadgoode

Stan Shaw…….Big George

Gailard Sartain…….Ed Couch

Timothy Scott…….Smokey Lonesome

Gary Basaraba…….Grady Kilgore

Lois Smith…….Mama Threadgoode

Jo Harvey Allen…….Women’s Awareness Teacher

Macon McCalman…….Prosecutor Percy

Richard Riehle…….Reverend Scroggins

Raynor Scheine…….Sheriff Curtis Smoote

Nancy Moore Atchison…….Little Idgie Threadgoode

Grayson Fricke…….Buddy Threadgoode Jr.

Haynes Brooke…….Older Julian Threadgoode

Nick Searcy…….Frank Bennett

Fried Green Tomatoes Trailer

FRIED GREEN TOMATOES (1991) – Thomas Newman – Soundtrack

The Wednesday Poetry Corner with Dr. Mary Annie AV

the secret keeper:

“Do not stand at my grave and weep, I am not there – I do not sleep. I am the thousand winds that blow…” Mary Frye [1932] One of my favorite poems. Dr. Mary Annie A.V. did a lovely & meaningful presentation on death & life. Meeting the end of one and entering the beginning another. Which is which? It is the ultimate Question. Tagore states in this post “…When one dies one lives.” I wonder myself if this is true. We all know death is in front of our time here. No one is ever really told when, even if one is gravely ill, the time is not given to us in an exact moment. Some say they feel it approaching. It is a grand philosophical question, poets, artists, writers, songs, express death, love, life, probably the most popular content of most art, these three subjects, but death is the one that haunts us the most. Reading this post has opened my mind to thinking about it in a poetic & philosophical way. It is something feared & expected & needs someday to be faced, in some manner or maybe not for some people. Is it better to be surprised or to be the poet and examine it through divine words of comfort & see it as an uplifting end to pain & a beginning of life as we all are meant to experience it fully. Great post. Love that you brought Mary Annie A.V. to us Niamh Clune. She has a very unique way of expressing such a delicate subject to many. Her choices in poetry and poets are so familiar to me. I feel all will enjoy & find a comfort in reading all that she has offered to us. by Jk the secret keeper Jennifer Kiley ps. Two poets I didn’t mention that Mary Annie A.V. writes about are Emily Dickinson and Sylvia Plath, who, also, write about death. “Dying / Is an art, / like everything else. / I do it exceptionally well. / I do it so it feels like hell. / I do it so it feels real. / I guess you could say I’ve a call./

Originally posted on Plum Tree Books Blog:

It is with great pleasure that I introduce a wonderful new Indian voice to our Wednesday Corner. Dr. Mary Annie A.V. writes with depth and passion about the subject of Death ~ a subject that has long-fascinated poets and philosophers throughout history. Thank you Mary for being our guest on the plum tree today and for sharing your profound thoughts on a subject that is often not spoken of.

Speculating…

By Mary Annie A.V.

My earliest memories are those of reciting Mother Goose’s Nursery rhymes, which perhaps influenced me to write my first prize winning poem ‘My brother’, at the age of five. However, I guess it is in the Psalms of the Bible that I by-hearted, that I found my sense of language, rhythm and the sheer magic of words. I have always been fascinated by life, death and eternity. The mystery of life and death and eternity makes…

View original 435 more words

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM

Posted On Tuesday 15th October 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling

Tuesday 8th April 2008

Dear Annie,

You really surprised me after the last group meeting. It was difficult to end it and walk out of that room. But you were by my side. I had someone to be with who would listen and understand what I was going through. It shocked me when you led me outside to your car. My face must have looked like I transformed into a ghost. You didn’t give me warning you were going to take me out after group. We drove to a coffee shop and sat outside. You ordered us a pot of green tea and an assortment of small desserts as a treat.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea. It was sweet of you but truthfully, it really freaked me out. The words wouldn’t come to me at the time. Instead I pretended to be okay. Meanwhile, my insides were twisting up inside. You thought a celebration away from the counseling center would be good for me. You forgot one thing in your surprise. How leaving a safe place, well, sort of a safe place, would make me feel. You know I am an agoraphobic. That was the first time I’ve been to a public restaurant in over 7 years. Why you thought that was a good idea, I will never understand.

I know I said I would try to work with you about going out to different places. But I thought you would prepare me before we did anything. I don’t want to say more than this about what we did. Maybe some other time we can figure out how to get me to work with you on this but I am definitely not ready to do it now.

I have a different plan for what I would like to work on this week in therapy. I found a survey which I feel could be very revealing. I plan on filling it out. It felt like a way of my telling you some personal, in-depth truths about myself. The information that is asked for looks really difficult to answer but I will try to be as honest & freely detailed as possible.

My thoughts & feelings are to treat it as though it were a Rorschach test. I will think of you asking me each request for something intimate about myself & I will answer in a responsive manner without trying to cover up my immediate reaction. It may be scary to be so revealing but I will make every effort not to hide what I am holding inside.

Let’s look at it as a test in truth & trust. Fair enough. I felt we could, then, discuss what I wrote at our next session or you could ask me from the written question what I am feeling while in our session. To make even more immediate and then compare the two responses.

I really don’t want to talk about our going out in the past session. So, I hope you like my idea of doing this. If not, I can at least give you a copy of what the survey is and how I responded. It will hopefully be informative and give you a further insight into how I work.

Now, I’m about to take a deep breath. I need to concentrate and make myself relax. I am not really good at these surveys. I’m not exactly sure why I’m putting myself through this, but I’ve already committed. So, bravery it is. Here goes:

My Mood today is… I have a touch of apprehension and feelings of disappointment even though I feel I am achieving progress on all the projects I have started. Left over fear from something I was afraid to do but found the courage inside myself to reach out of my comfort zone to actually do.

Relationship status… I have a partner who gives me amazing support. Who is there for me when I need her to be even though I feel she doesn’t always feel I am there for her, but the truth is I would do anything for her, whatever it would be, if she asked.

Health status… My cancer is in remission but I have a left over weakness I am still rebounding from which exhausts me so easily. My bipolar gives me a faux sense of energy which I use, then I crash from using it up. I don’t sleep well. Too many nightmares, Not enough good dreams.

I would describe my spiritual path as… Reincarnation. Spirits. Guardian Angels. I want to believe there is a consciousness after we leave our bodies. The Soul feels real to me. Nothing else explains all the phenomena I experience that reality cannot explain.

Main thing on my mind is… A friend I feel close to. My feelings are strong. It is so easy to hurt each other. I love her deeply. I know in my past I have always had trouble being able to maintain any relationships except my one with my partner, Scottie. Losing people I love is a huge part of my past and I am afraid part of my present and future. I do not deal with loss well. It breaks my heart when I lose anyone I love. And it seems like it happens too frequently and continually in my life. I know many actors and entertainers from my connections through Scottie. Scottie likes to have parties. Some of those people we have gotten close to have died suddenly, shocking the world. But for those who knew them, it is even more difficult. So, I would say loss seems to always be on my mind. It never gives me a moment of peace.

My ambitions are…. To be writing my screenplays and hoping for success to continue. I wish to be nominated for a BAFTA, a Golden Globe, and an Oscar. It would be amazing to reach the ability to write such a script that would move people to actually be positively affected by what I have to say with my words. Also, to someday write a play good or great enough for Broadway. I’ve always dreamed of being in the theatre as well as the movies, once upon a time to be on stage but then I realized I preferred being the one who wrote the words the actors spoke.

What I want most is…. I would love to have enough money to start many different organizations which would care for animals, children who have been abused, grown-ups dealing with their abuse as adults, retreats to support artists in all areas of creative expression, set up a scholarship fund to enable those who want to pursue the arts through training whether it be college or workshops, to become a patron of gifted artists. I want to be clear when I use the word artists, I am referring to the arts inclusive of painters, writers, poets, sculptures, those in the graphic arts, film. I have already established a film production company with Scottie, I would love to start a school for training actors. Find the best professionals to do workshops. Go back to the ways of the Actors Studio with Lee Strasburg and train actors in the way of Great Britain.

What I need most is…. How to be able to feel love without fear mixed in. To make love without shutting down from the fear I learned when I was abused as a child and as an adult. To feel close to people who I love and who want to love me in return. To not replay the abuse when someone I am close to might trigger a behavior that feels like the way an abuser seduced me or made me feel.

I have been reading…. A great many books on Bipolar, literature, poetry, Anais Nin, Virginia Woolf. I love fantasy, and the mystical. My great passion are books on psychology, mysteries and psychological thrillers.

I have been watching… Lost. This series has me hypnotized. I watch my DVDs on my favorite series of all times, “Twin Peaks” by David Lynch. I watch films day and night, also. I love the classics. In the late 30s through the early 70s, that is when the best films were made.

I have been listening to…. Classical, folk, some pop, some rap, musical theatre, Celtic. Specific performers: Yo-Yo Ma,

My best characteristics are…. I am kind & gentle. I listen & try to understand people who need someone to listen to them. I am empathetic. I try to encourage & give support to other. I love animals more than any other creatures on the planet and care about them. I am an animal whisperer. I draw animals & people out who are withdrawn & feel unable to trust anyone.

My worst characteristics are… I lose my temper too easily & become irritable. My bipolar sets this behavior off in me. I withdraw from people. I am not sure if this is a characteristic but my feelings get hurt really easily & I am not very forgiving. I hate saying I am sorry. That has to do with my childhood.

My vices are… I don’t really have any now. I use to smoke, do drugs, drink coffee, swear, sexual often, spending too much money, got drunk, but I don’t do any of these now, except swearing but I don’t see that as a vice.

Politically I would describe myself as… Progressive. I want peace everywhere. I feel everyone should be taken care of & have their needs met in any way possible.

In terms of fashion and lifestyle I would describe myself as… Casual. Relaxed. Not into latest fashion. I like to be comfortable. Warm when it’s cold out. Cool when it is warm out.

I would like to learn… Several new languages. French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic, I would like to learn how to play the piano properly, not the way I know how to play it now. I would like to learn how to make a film that are computer generated animation with fantastic images.

My recent regrets are… Hurting someone I would never have wanted to hurt ever in my life.

My recent achievements are… Completing a screenplay that has been made into a film which is almost ready to be released to the theatre audience. Created a poetry collection that is due to be published very soon.

My message to myself is… I feel I am a good person. I love the people and animals I love and I let them know how I feel. I try to give myself a break for not being perfect. I need to be easier on myself for making mistakes. I need to stop being so hard on myself. I need to let myself be loved. Lastly, I want to tell myself it is okay to feel what it is like to be loved in all ways, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically and sexually. It is okay for me to let go of the abuse of the past and feel the generosity of love being given to me now without feeling scared to feel it and to share it and to return the love without fear.

How do you think I did, Annie? I thought I was pretty direct. Maybe a B+ for courage and an A+ for effort.
Maybe it’s time to change the subject. “Brief Sacrifice” feels like it is in order. I am sure you must be curious by now to find out what is in the Silver Box with absolutely not seems or ways of opening it up. It will take magic. James, Carter McLeod’s Savannah cat, he is the key to the Silver Box. It is up to him to perform a certain task. You must recall James is psychic. One of his many qualities.

Another one of His abilities is to cause objects to perform in ways contrary to their make-up and ability. In these cases, James needs to concentrate. In his mind, lies the key with the Power to make anything do what He wants it to do. How is James, a mere cat, going to know what is expected of him, you ask? Magic. He is filled with Magic.
Not the kind David Blaine or David Copperfield perform. They are smoke and mirrors.

James is of the Deeper Magic. The Magic that caused the world to be Created. Deeper, even more than that. It is the Magic which caused the Big Bang to occur. The kind that created the Universe and all the Stars, Planets, Solar Systems, Quarks, Black Holes, and Cosmos upon Cosmos. All that makes the Universe expand, divide and create Multi-verses. The Magic of Infinity, Reincarnation, Karma and Nirvana, Dragons and Mythical Creatures, once they were Real but they disappeared into the Ether. Yet, they exist still but only reveal themselves to those who have the power of the Seer. The Power of Sight.

James will be the catalyst to save humankind. He will open the door to All of Time. Nikola Tesla has created from the Deeper Magic, a gift for Humankind. Within the Silver Box, this gift has rested since Nikola Tesla gave the Silver Box to the old man. And now Carter McLeod is in possession of this Silver Box. It is up to Jackson Sharp to open the power within James, so he will be able to open the Silver Box. Once it is opened, the content will be revealed. But even then the Magic will not be revealed. The Magic is within the Gift in the Silver Box. It must be understood before the Magic can be awakened held within the Gift.

This is as far as we will go in this letter. Let your imagination follow these revelations. Find the path in which it leads. Eventually, all with be revealed. Patience is of the utmost importance in this matter.

Oh, my, the story within my script, within the film “Brief Sacrifice” is a wild ride. It has barely begun.
Till I see you next Tuesday and we discuss my survey and whatever else comes up, I am going to rest. And later, I may work on my latest screenplay. I will tell something about it when I am ready. It is at a stage when it needs to be between me and my computer screen.

Hope you will have a good week until I see you next week.

Fondly,
Madison

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

rain in garden gif

“Dreaming In Chaos”
Narrative Haiku [5-7-7]
by Madison Taylor

Tuesday 15th April 2008

Dreaming in chaos
Two divided both broken
Friendship betrayed lost purpose

Claim broken is wrong
Trusting in truth essential
Comprehension not valid

Devotion damaged
Disparaging remarks stabbed
Distortion destroyed feelings

Time elicits pain
Illusion perceived unearthed
Difference creates changes

Pieces broke not healed
Damage increases distance
Understand ethereal

Vanishing goodness
Pressure continues more stabs
Bleeding emotions lose hope

No cure in future
Hopelessness drying in stone
What was grey turned black and white

© madison taylor 2008

Abstract Chaos --- Artist Anonymous

Abstract Chaos — Artist Anonymous

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212 Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

Snow Dragon with Woman --- Digital Art by Eyu Letsana. Borrowed from The Dragon of the Month Post of MacKenzie's Dragonsnest. See Below for the Link to you site and the Post the Snow Dragon is Featured.

Snow Dragon with Woman — Digital Art by Eyu Letsana. Borrowed from The Dragon of the Month Post of MacKenzie’s Dragonsnest. Link below to Shawn MacKenzie’s, site and her post featuring the Snow Dragon.

The Frost is on the Dragon — Posted Thursday 10th October 2013 on MacKenzie’s Dragonsnest . [Blog Name is Link].

These are some of the Illustrated Images of Mythical Creatures and Dragon to be featured in the Film “Brief Sacrifice.” They are key to aiding in Carter McLeod finding the secrets which eventually will need to be discovered in order to carry out the Friends of Nikola Tesla’s plans for the future of humankind.

neil gaiman from stardust 972x633

Neil Gaiman from Stardust

play is not just play meryl streep