Category Archives: Emotional Fitness (TM)

purpose P U R P O S E purpose

purpose P U R P O S E purpose
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Art created by j. kiley
Created 04.13.13
Posted 04.13.13

purpose  P U R P O S E  purpose by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

purpose P U R P O S E purpose by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

Fireworks — Katy Perry

QUOTATIONS on PURPOSE:

“If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life? It is other life; it is love, which gives your life meaning. This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other, the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.” ― Mitsugi Saotome

“When you lost sight of your path, listen for the destination in your heart.” ― Katsura Hoshino

“The magic of purpose and of love in its purest form. Not televison love, with its glare and hollow and sequined glint; not sex and allure, all high shoes and high drama, everything both too small and in too much excess, but just love. Love like rain, like the smell of a tangerine, like a surprise found in your pocket.” ― Deb Caletti

“Those who have failed to work toward the truth have missed the purpose of living.” ― Gautama Buddha

“It’s funny. No matter how hard you try, you can’t close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what’s going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don’t, there’s not point in being here.” ― Kirstie Alley

“Make your work to be in keeping with your purpose” ― Leonardo da Vinci

“In spite of where we were, how we had gotten here and why we had come, I felt that at this moment of our lives, this place was exactly where we belonged. We were not drifting but rising, rising toward something right and of significance.” ― Dean Koontz

“Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning and purpose to our lives.” ― Brené Brown

“There are so many stupid things that steal that purpose from us. The stupid things that you believe a lie that we ‘re not as important as we really are. That our life isn’t as important as it really is. It’s important to the people that you love, it’s important to the people that you will love in the future, it’s important to the world around you and it’s so important that you fulfill the purpose that only you can fulfill the way that you can fulfill that.” ― Lacey Mosley

“I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth…
and now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own;
the cars….the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left.
(You could be at “dash midrange.”)

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
and more often wear a smile…
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they
say about how you spend your dash?”
― Linda Ellis, The Dash Making A Difference With Your Life

“The great essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” ― Joseph Addison

“Art has always been the raft onto which we climb to save our sanity. I don’t see a different purpose for it now.” ― Dorothea Tanning

this is my purpose. this is what makes my life have meaning.

this is my purpose. this is what makes my life have meaning.

there’s a fire starting in my heart

there’s a fire starting in my heart
poem by Jennifer Kiley
©transgraphics by j. kiley
1.02.13
Wednesday: ©transgraphics-line from song is title-poem
guess song & singer?
WARNING: Material May Not Be Suitable. PG-16

there’s a fire starting in my heart by j. kiley ©Jennifer Kiley 2013

A statement that I felt I needed to write and that I feel needs to be read: “Healing from child abuse of any kind takes more than a lifetime. If there are still scars remaining, which there are, then there exists evidence. Years, I have been trying to get beyond what my abusers did to me. Oh, yes, I am in a different place than I was when they were around me but everything I do has a cause and effect from those buried and not so buried memories. Intimacy is the greatest thing they destroyed in me. I have tried pulling that part back together but it always haunts me. I feel hurt quite easily when there is nothing that has been done to cause this hurt I feel. It is just something the abusers taught me to expect. So writing this rather intimate description of intimacy is my way of telling my abusers fuck you. I can find a place inside of me that you were not able to completely destroy and I have been and am trying my Damndest to heal that part of me.” ~the secret keeper~

Adele-Rolling In the Deep
I will admit to a secret-moi guessed wrong. I thought the line from the song was Adele singing: “Set Fire To the Rain.” Oops!!!

A New Year’s Resolution

A New Year’s Resolution
By Jennifer Kiley
the secret keeper
©transgraphics by j. kiley
01.01.13
Definition–Wikipedia (BOLD)

les visages dans la neige par j. kiley © Jennifer Kiley 2013

A New Year’s resolution is a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. A key element to a New Year’s Resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of the New Year and new beginnings. People committing themselves to a New Year’s resolution generally plan to do so for the whole following year. This lifestyle change is generally interpreted as advantageous.

licornes blanches par j. kiley © Jennifer Kiley 2013

My intention for the New Year 2013 is to write in all of fields of writing I find fulfilling, to create art and photography, to work on my new artistic passion of creating what my partner and I have named ©transgraphics (we started posting them toward the end of the year on both of our blogs) and I want to experiment but not change my blog “the secret keeper.” I want to try doing a variety of what I did this year but mix them up a bit more. I think it will be enjoyable, thought provoking, entertaining, enlightening (I hope), fun, serious at times,

It will include poetry, prose, a variety of topics which will include mental health ie. bipolar, children’s issues, pertinent issues in the news, film reviews (from all times) and trailers, music videos, funny or serious TED short videos on creative and imaginative topics, funny videos, .gifs of animated animals doing silly and laughable stunts that of course would cause them no harm, moments of remembering, serious poetry, light poetry, short short flash stories, and more. If anyone has suggestions please feel free to make a mention in the comment section. As I receive ideas or as I get them I am willing to experiment. If anything is not suitable material for younger than 16 years but I feel it has artistic merit or topical subject matter, I will create a post and put up a WARNING which I have done in the past.

I intend to try experimenting with challenges in a way that also mixes them up so that there a continual variety but also an expectation that something will happen when it is suppose to. So variety without too much chaos but just enough to be encouragingly anticipatory. I want to keep this blog artistic, entertaining, mind-expanding, thoughtful, emotionally reactive, educational (I want to present relevant topics and issues when they seem appropriate and necessary but no beating anyone on the head), awesome in the images department where something so unusual to see will blow your mind just to view it but not disturb it in any negative way. Just look for some experimentation in the New Year. Nothing I think or feel that will make your experience visiting my blog have no reaction in you. Sometimes I might just want you to enjoy yourself. I hope that you always feel you take something away with you when you visit “the secret keeper.” Let’s just wait and see. jk Jennifer Kiley the secret keeper @>—

ps. This is all taking time for planning, but I shall work on that as the year progresses. So, HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2013. All seems celebratory. I started out ten minutes before Midnight before the ball dropped in NYC New York City to watch the already taped display that Sydney Australia put on. Quite the Dramatic and Climatic Display. Spectacular. I had the noise turned down. Didn’t want to scare our animals who were sound asleep.

Moments ago, around 3:30am, when I got up to stretch, the kittens and cats came out to me, wide awake, for their late night snack. I counted, one missing, Sanji was in the living room waiting for me. He only wanted to make sure all went well in the kitchen during feeding but wasn’t so much hungry himself. When he saw the kittens were fine, he headed off. I patted him on the head as he looked up at me and wished him a Happy New Year. You could see the satisfied smile on his gorgeous face. That’s a good sign when he smiles.

So now I am back finishing up this post to get ready to publish before the sun rises. It’s 33 F out and according to my weather gadget on my laptop screen it is suppose to be snowing out. I should have looked when I was up but it will have to wait now. The beginning of the year. It seems unlike last year when we barely had a snowflake, this year it seems like there is snow on the ground or coming from the sky a minimum of once a day but more often, several times a day. The skiers will like that who love coming near to where I live where there are many ski slopes and resorts, including that of the one owned and run by the Trapp Family from the film “The Sound of Music.” Well, back to finishing this up so I can get to other projects I want to accomplish before sleep and dreams. jk @>–

I Will Remember You-Amy Grant

Elaine Stritch performs Sondheim’s “I’m Still Here” for Obama Family @ WH)

Shine On Award

Shine On Award
Given to “the secret keeper”
By Ganesh Raam
Unsettled Minds
12.28.12

Shine On Award

Shine On Award

Thank you Ganesh for the wonderful surprise award of the “Shine On Award.” And your wonderful words about bloggers on WordPress. We are all a pretty amazing group. I keep getting to know more and more people here. It is a world that expands ones mind and heart and soul. So supportive and friendly and amazingly creative. I will place my “Shine On Award” in a special place on my blog. It is rather like one of my new favorite groups: “Pink Floyd’s” song “Shine On You Crazy Diamond.” I love that song, actually rather addicted to it. Thanks again Ganesh for coming into my world and life here on WordPress and being so generous to me and so many others. jk jennifer-the secret keeper :-)

I am going to borrow some words that Ganesh wrote on the post he wrote to present many different awards to many different bloggers. These are my sentiments also and what he wrote was so perfectly written. “Over the last couple of months, there were a lot of kind-hearted bloggers who have conferred upon me numerous awards and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for considering my blog for these awards.” Thank you Ganesh and everyone who has followed my blog “the secret keeper” and for presenting such creative and inspiring material on all of your blogs for me to enjoy and to be moved by, sometimes tears, sometimes laughter, definite smiles. thoughts to make me go deeper inside of my own mind, heart and soul. It is such a wonderful world here in the blogosphere. May everyone have a very HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2013. Hopefully, we will all find our dreams and wishes listened to and become a reality in the GOOD sense of the word. Love Peace Joy and Bliss I wish to all of you. jk the secret keeper Jennifer Kiley j. kiley…

I Nominate the Following To Enjoy Posting this Award on Their Own Blogs:

On The Plum Tree

MacKenzie’s Dragon’s Nest

Author Emily Guido

Waking Spirals

Bipolar Muse

Uncle Tree’s House

Teacher as Transformer

Song of the Sirens

Juliette

Moments With Millie

Darlene Foster

John Coyote

Soul Reader

Introspective Introvert

Pink Floyd-Shine On You Crazy Diamond-Full Version HD

“Feeling” Haiku #22

“Feeling” Haiku #22
By Jennifer Kiley
© trans-graphics by j. kiley
12.22.12
December Month of the Haiku 31 days 31 haiku #22

la dernière étoile sur la droite by j. kiley © Jennifer Kiley 2012

profond dans l’âme par j. kiley © Jennifer Kiley 2012

Philip Glass-Glass Reflections

Effects of Yelling at Children

Reblogged from On The Plum Tree:

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Yelling at a child shows that we, the adults, are out of control of our own emotions.

Children need safe boundaries within which they can explore, make mistakes, try and fail, win, lose and learn. Inquisitive children push boundaries, both physical and emotional. This is necessary if a child is to develop its own identity.

If adults are emotionally dysfunctional, they react when personal boundaries are breached.

Read more… 425 more words

Effects of Yelling at Children. This is a particularly sensitive subject for me but I feel the message in this post needs to be communicated to all people who have any contact with children. It does crush a child to be yelled at and makes them feel that they must have done something terribly wrong for someone to shout that way. A child needs nurturing and made to feel safe and foremost that they can depend on their caregivers for protection and not the destruction of their emotional well being. Dr. Niamh Clune has demonstrated in this post a clear understanding of what children need from adults and what happens to those children if they get the opposite of what they need. Well, written and well said. j.k. the secret keeper

Bipolar—Marijuana—Relaxation—Meditation

Bipolar—Marijuana—Relaxation—Meditation
By Jennifer Kiley
10.30.12

Energy flowing through the seven chakras in no partiular order

I have mixed among my writing this post videos that I have worked with in the past while I meditated. I hope you will give them a try to see if they might help. They did help me, maybe they will do the same for some of you.

It just may be time to reconsider my lack of using meditation as a means of relaxation and bringing my bipolar moods under some kind of acceptable control where I would be more able to level them out a bit more evenly. A fellow blogger brought my attention to his own attempts at mediating which drew me to a post I did a while back. I posted several videos of meditation related chanting and relaxing music and natures sounds that once helped me to relax so well that i would often fall into a semi-consciousness and eventually into a state of the most deep and renewing sleep. I needed to meditate at that time to bring down my high level of feeling so stressed out that I needed far too many toxic psych meds I have since removed from my collection of medications that I take regularly. No more psych meds with the one exception of one for anxiety and panic.

No Mind – Piano – Paul Collier

Now in my life I have extended to a great degreee all of the activities in which I am involved. I need to destress or get more sleep. I often forget to sleep, eat or take my health meds. Bipolar highs and lows can lead one to forget to take proper care and attention to some of the rather important necessities of ones life.

Chanting Om II – Splendour of Yoga

I have retrieved some of the material from this post on Meditation and Contemplation to help me and any others who might be interested in revisiting this type of interest in order to relax and release the tensions of their lives on a moderate to regular or daily basis.

Chanting Om II – Meditation Music

It is time to remember and to be inspired if I want to reconnect and start to write more thoroughly on my many projects: a screenplay, my poetry, a resurrected novel, a memoir of a period in my life I am exploring for the profound effect it had on me in a metaphysical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual way, and to return to my activities around the visual arts of photography and short film making. The need in me to do photography has been speaking to me from out of my dreams. The choice was either to paint or to take photographs. Photography has been in my mind for quite a while. I, also, want to return to the creating of collages. They inspire me immensely.

Chanting OM by MUSIC FOR DEEP MEDITATION

All of this has to do with reconnecting with my memories through feelings and thoughts that are buried within me. I want to retreive from my subconscous and unconscious all that is hidden from my conscious awareness, so that I might be of assistance to my muse while I work on my screenplay that relates in many ways to the experiences that have touched my life in a most profound way. In other words, I want to exorcise some demons and clearly understand what I feel and think about a particular decision that I intend to make at some point in my near future. In my screenplay, the answer is revealed to me, but I want to write the story out to see if that really is the intended conclusion.

Chanting Om II – Meditation on the 7 Chakras

Hopefully, they will work in centering me before I colaborate with my muse as we work together. The videos inspired me or caused me to relax or meditate most easily and the tension melted away on most occasions.

No Mind – Gentle Piano Meditation Music

These are all videos I’ve listened to while letting my mind settle down as I was going into a state of meditation. Thoughts would travel through my mind but I would just try not to attach myself to any of them. Just let them go. When I felt my self drifting back to engage in my thinking I would start to listen to my breathing as it guided me back on track to the goal of letting go of my thoughts and emotions and drift into a place where I was free from this space we call reality.

Air – Paul Collier – Relaxing Music

I worked on letting go of the sensations of my body that distracted me. I just kept letting go. Whenever I returned to this reality I would work on my breathing again and let that be my focus. Eventually, without realizing it I was not with my body and mind i had floated onto a different plane of consciousness that I was not aware of. It was more like being set free from all physical connections of the body and mind.

Slow Down – Paul Collier

These are very soothing videos to work with to bring one into a state of relaxation so that you are able to let go into your meditation. The contemplation was the act of meditation. A focusing on one thing so that all else slid away. In this instance I contemplated on meditating so that all of the world slipped into another realm away from that which I was actively seeking to find so that I could also let that pass away from my awareness. Some call this attainment Nirvana. Sometimes reachable but also elusive like a butterfly. Sometimes the relaxation of the meditation dropped me off into such a relaxed state I actually drifted into a deep and restful sleep. Which is a perfectly fine end to the crescendo of meditation.

Sounds of Rain and Thunder on the River

My goal this time in meditating is to work on bringing my bipolar under a reasonable level of control. I will not take the toxic medications that are prescribed today. If someday the government changes its mind and allows marijuana to be used with all of its medicinal properties, one of which is in assisting bipolar treatments and a plethera of other treatments. I would consider using a medication such as medicinal marijuana for the treatment of my mood swings and racing thoughts, my highs and lows, my delusions which make me think what I sometimes perceive a situation as real, when in the true reality of the perception, it is not at all the way the delusional part of my mind sees it.

Smoothing Meditation Music – Paul Collier

I am actually getting better at stepping out of the delusiosn while they are occurring and see them from another part of my mind for what they truly are, a total misperception of all the stimuli that is being presented to me and mixing them all up into a distorted view of what does not exist. Reality is usually expected of us to live in this world in order to be accepted. If one allows delusions to rule what we perceive we are more then likely going to fuck up relationships because we will doubt our partner or friends and feel they are hurting us when in truth, what we think is happening is not at all what is really happening. Now sometimes what is happening is exactly the way we perceive it, but when we are in a state of delusion we can never really be sure.

No Mind – Piano – Paul Collier

That is why I feel the government needs to allow bipolars access to marijuana to use in their treatment of bipolar and all other ailments that it can be used to treat. My own doctor is trying to help me to work with the government in my state to try to push this issue forward. She actually can see the benefits of marijuana for my treatments for bipolar, chronic pain, anxieties and all sorts of other physical and psychological issues that I am dealing with.

Self Esteem Affirmations with Music – Paul Collier

So for now meditation and psychotherapy may be the only thing I can use to help myself with the bipolar and then the various doctors I see for specialty treatments. Plus my friends, family and partner, who are there as part of my support system and I am part of theirs, also, quite willingly. J.K. the secret keeper…I hope these are of help in some way for some people who would just like to listen to something that might just be a sound they just might enjoy kicking back and listening to. Namaste!

Relaxing Rain on a Metal Roof – 1 hour

Are We Lonely?

Reblogged from On The Plum Tree:

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  • Click to visit the original post

In this series of learning about the importance of feeling our emotions, I have spoken about how the 'Feeling Function' is often misunderstood, its value lost.

The Feeling Function is one of life's greatest teachers.

Engaging and developing the feeling function to get to know our issues is a life-skill that I wish was taught in schools. We all have issues.

Read more… 469 more words

To feel loneliness: wouldn't we want to have our children taught about how to understand and learn how to work with their feelings, their issues. Emotional Fitness (TM) learning what emotions are and how to express them. In this part of the series the discussion is on Loneliness. "Are We Lonely?" A good question to ask and a difficult question to answer. We all have issues in our lives to understand and work on. Is loneliness one of yours or ours. I know I want to understand and be able to recognize my emotions and the issues that were created from the time I was born and how I am expressing them now in my life and how they have affected me. Once again this is a brilliant post. Are We Lonely? Are you lonely? Am I lonely. Do we really know the answer to this question? Don't we want to know? Read the post written by Dr. Niamh Clune on her blog "ontheplumtree." J.K. the secret keeper

The First Step Towards Developing Emotional Fitness: Identify Core Issues.

Reblogged from On The Plum Tree:

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I have already spoken about how it is never healthy to bury our feelings.  Catharsis is the choice of the self-creating person. It guarantees that basic, valuable work is done at the level at which wounding originated.

What do I mean by this?

Whenever something hurts our feelings, it causes an emotional reaction. This emotional reaction occurs spontaneously.  It is an autogenic body response and; therefore, something over which we have little control.

Read more… 329 more words

The Emotional Fitness (TM) Series has been something I have found to be essential reading for me. This is another part to add to the series. You will find the rest of this post by following back the reblog and also you will find the first parts to this series at "ontheplumtree" by clicking on the blog name and going through the titles you find on the home page. They are titled: 1st: Do You Cry? 2nd: Thinking Versus Feeling! For "Do You Cry?" you will need to go into older posts at the bottom left of post titles. Just click on older posts and you will find it. These are all wrtten by Dr. Niamh Clune, the author of several books. You will find their titles on the right hand column of my blog posts by scrolling down the page. You will also find music that Dr. Clune has created. Reading this post will draw your attention to the importance of discovering your Core Issues that trigger an emotional reaction in you. I am way over simplifying it. This is made clearer by reading this post from the source. It is important to read and much can be learned that will help you in your life. J.K. the secret keeper

Thinking Versus Feeling!

Reblogged from On The Plum Tree:

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Time to put on my "Doctor" hat again and invite you to talk about feelings...This week, I want to raise the issue of thinking versus feeling...

Does your partner profess to being logical, rational, reasonable, in control, whilst declaring your outbursts as emotional, illogical, irrational or unbalanced?

You get the picture...

You try to express yourself, explaining something that you feel.

Read more… 436 more words

Post written by Dr. Niamh Clune---"Thinking Versus Feeling!" This is brilliantly written. “Feeling” as the only rational function of “Thinking” – it is so true. It helps me to explain why I can experience anger or depression and step out consciously while still being aware these emotions are happening in me and I can explain to my partner what is happening inside of me as though separate from the emotions. What to do about switching into another emotion, that is the part that I haven’t figured out yet. It brings a clearer understanding to it by reading what Dr. Clune wrote in her post “Thinking Versus Feeling!” This series has been important to me and I think and hope for others. Emotional Fitness (TM). a great Trademark. An interesting distinction between emotions and feelings. The post "Thinking Versus Feeling" is a very important and intelligent concept to understand. Go to the "Thinking Versus Feeling! Post to get a clearer understanding of what Dr. Niamh Clune is writing about "Emotional Fitness (TM)." This series is excellent and is giving me an understanding that seems to be what I need to hear at this time. The last one on "Do You Cry?" and this one "Thinking Versus Feeling!" have already helped me in more ways than I probably even know. Thank you, Dr. Niamh Clune for your brilliant post. J.K. the secret keeper ps. Please check out the beginning of this series as well as this post which is the second in the series, it is quite enlightening. I intend to follow the complete series as it develops. I can't wait to see what Dr. Clune has waiting for us next in this series on "Emotional Fitness (TM)." The Emotions and Feelings are a field of study in which I am most interested.