A Heartfelt Goodbye To Virginia Woolf 73 Years Later

the-living-word make the writer's diary

The Living Word

A Heartfelt Goodbye to Virginia Woolf 73 Years Later
25 January 1882 – 28 March 1941
Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 23rd March 2014
Posted Friday 28th March 2014
A TRIBUTE TO VIRGINIA WOOLF

virginia woolf a writer's life quote over photo“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”

“Books are the mirrors of the soul.”

I can only note that the past is beautiful
because one never realises an emotion at the time.
It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete
emotions about the present, only about the past.”

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.”

“Love, the poet said, is woman’s whole existence.”

“The truth is, I often like women. I like their
unconventionality. I like their completeness. I
like their anonymity. ”

“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and
I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”

“All extremes of feeling are allied with madness.”

“For it would seem – her case proved it – that we
write, not with the fingers, but with the whole
person. The nerve which controls the pen winds
itself about every fibre of our being, threads
the heart, pierces the liver.”

“I am reading six books at once, the only way of
reading; since, as you will agree, one book is
only a single unaccompanied note, and to get the
full sound, one needs ten others at the same time.”

“So long as you write what you wish to write, that
is all that matters; and whether it matters for
ages or only for hours, nobody can say.”

“When I cannot see words curling like rings of
smoke round me I am in darkness—I am nothing.”

“It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the sub-
merged truth sometimes makes its way to the surface.”

“For now she need not think of anybody. She could be
herself, by herself. And that was what now she often
felt the need of – to think; well not even to think.
To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing,
expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk,
with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-
shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others…
and this self having shed its attachments was free for
the strangest adventures.”

“Fiction is like a spider’s web, attached ever so lightly
perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners.”

“Was not writing poetry a secret transaction, a voice
answering a voice?”

“Let us again pretend that life is a solid substance,
shaped like a globe, which we turn about in our fingers.
Let us pretend that we can make out a plain and logical
story, so that when one matter is despatched—love for
instance—we go on, in an orderly manner, to the next.”

“The only advice, indeed, that one person can give another
about reading is to take no advice, to follow your own
instincts, to use your own reason, to come to your own
conclusions. If this is agreed between us, then I feel at
liberty to put forward a few ideas and suggestions because
you will not allow them to fetter that independence which
is the most important quality that a reader can possess.
After all, what laws can be laid down about books? The
battle of Waterloo was certainly fought on a certain day;
but is Hamlet a better play than Lear? Nobody can say.
Each must decide that question for himself. To admit
authorities, however heavily furred and gowned, into our
libraries and let them tell us how to read, what to read,
what value to place upon what we read, is to destroy the
spirit of freedom which is the breath of those sanctuaries.
Everywhere else we may be bound by laws and conventions-
there we have none.”

“The most extraordinary thing about writing is that
when you’ve struck the right vein, tiredness goes.”

“…who shall measure the heat and violence of a poet’s
heart when caught and tangled in a woman’s body?”

“I feel so intensely the delights of shutting oneself
up in a little world of one’s own, with pictures and
music and everything beautiful.”

“By the truth we are undone. Life is a dream. ‘Tis the
waking that kills us. He who robs us of our dreams robs
us of our life.”

— Virginia Woolf [from Her Books & Diaries]

virginia & leonard woolf 1939 National Photo Gallery London 'the dinner party' virginia woolf

Virginia & Leonard Woolf 1939
National Photo Gallery London
The Dinner Party: Virginia Woolf

Virginia Woolf’s Handwritten Suicide Note to Her Husband Leonard: A Painful & Poignant Farewell [1941]

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.

virginia woolf's monk's house garden

Virginia Woolf’s Monk’s House Garden

Leonard buried Virginia’s ashes under the two intertwined Elm trees in their backyard at Monk’s House, their summer home in Sussex. The Elm trees in which they had nicknamed “Virginia and Leonard,” the spot was marked with a stone tablet engraved with the last lines from her novel The Waves: “Against you I fling myself, unvanquished and unyielding, O Death! The waves crashed on the shore.” After Leonard Woolf died on August 14, 1969, he was cremated and his ashes were buried next to Virginia’s under the Elm Trees at Monk’s House.

The following piece of music composed by Beethoven was to be the music played at Virginia Woolf’s and Leonard Woolf’s cremation ceremony. Leonard was so filled with grief, another piece of music was played but when he was home, he played Beethoven: String Quartet Op. 130. V. Cantina: adagio molto expressivo. It is most beautiful and soothing piece of music. I understand why Virginia and Leonard Woolf chose this piece of music. It is beautiful. It gives me a sense of being with Virginia Woolf who I admire with a fullness in my heart. She has touched my soul with her words. Her essence is alive within them. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to us in your writing with such a depth of honesty and Truth. You are not forgotten.

— Jennifer Kiley

Virginia Woolf

Peace For You Virginia Woolf

Beethoven: String Quartet Op. 130: V. Cavatina: adagio molto expressivo

Do Schools Kill Creativity?

tell me a story
Do Schools Kill Creativity?
TED Talk: Sir Ken Robinson
Originally Posted 2012
Reposting On Thursday 19th March 2014
TELL ME A STORY

Sir Ken Robinson: Do Schools Kill Creativity?

Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity. Education should nurture the individual rather than be so concerned about test scores.

Encourage children to investigate their ideas and run with them. Do not stifle them with a mandated belief system of education that is limiting.

The arts are disappearing from school systems. Children have the capacity to be innovative and have tremendous talents. They just need to be brought to the surface. Picasso said that all children are born artists but they are forced to grow out of it, instead creativity should be valued and also nurtured. So many children’s dreams of succeeding in the arts are discouraged most of their childhoods.

As long as the painting is only going to go up on the fridge, that’s okay but wanting to continue into life creating any form of art is most often looked down upon as something that will turn you into a Vincent van Gogh, broke all his life. But those who own his paintings now are bloody millionaires and billionaires.

Why is the artist not supported in our society?

Writers create ways of looking at the world from a new perspective.

All artists try to find within them the muse that will open or reopen the door to the mystical, magical world of our imagination.

Well, I suggest it is valuable and important to listen to this video. It is enlightening and humorous.

Sir Ken Robinson is a brilliant mind who has important knowledge and insight to convey in his TED talk on creativity and education. Listen, hear, laugh and enjoy and if you have children or have an influence on them consider encouraging their creativity.  by Jennifer Kiley

Anais Nin: Thinks of June — Part Two

a writer's word - day title sunday

Anais Nin: Thinks of June — Part Two
The Diary of Anais Nin — Volume One
Transposed by Jennifer Kiley
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Illustrated j. kiley
Post Created on Wednesday 30th October 2013
Posted on Sunday 3rd November 2013
A Writer’s Word

Monet_Claude-Woman_in_the_Garden._Sainte-Adresse darkness modeMonet, Claude — Woman in the Garden

Anaïs Nin
Thinks of June
Part Two

“Her face startlingly white
as she retreated
into the darkness
of the garden,

she posed for me
as she left.

I wanted to run out
and kiss her fantastic beauty
and say:

June,
you killed
my sincerity too.

I will never
know again
who I am,
what I am,
what I love,
what I want.

Your beauty has drowned me,
the core of me.

You carry away with you
a part of me
reflected in you.

When your beauty struck me,
it dissolved me.
Deep down.

I am not different from you.
I dreamed you,
I wished for your existence.

You are the woman
I want to be.

I see in you
that part of me
which is you.

I feel compassion
for your child
is pride,
for your trembling
unsureness,

your dramatization
of events,

your enhancing
of the loves
given to you.

I surrender my sincerity
because
if I love you

it means
we share
the same
fantasies,
the same
madnesses.”

ophelia-1889 john william waterhouseOphelia [1889] John William Waterhouse

WARNING: A BIPOLAR RIDE ALL THE WAY…ENJOY!!! [may not be for everybody but those who get it will laugh…TRUST ME!!!

Psychedelic Science

tell me a story
Psychedelic Science
TEDTalk by Fabian Oefner
Notations by Jennifer Kiley
Created on Wednesday 16th October 2013
Posted Thursday 31st October 2013
TELL ME A STORY

Psychedelic science by speaker Fabian Oefner 2013G

Published on Oct 7, 2013
Swiss artist and photographer Fabian Oefner is on a mission to make eye-catching art from everyday science. In this charming talk, he shows off some recent psychedelic images, including photographs of crystals as they interact with soundwaves. And, in a live demo, he shows what really happens when you mix paint with magnetic liquid–or when you set fire to whiskey.

Very impressive experiments mixing science with art and creating amazing visions of beauty & visual imagery otherwise not being able to be created. Be prepared to be impressed at the unique sights Fabian Oefner creates. He is also an entertaining speaker you will enjoy.

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM

Posted On Tuesday 15th October 2013

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling

Tuesday 8th April 2008

Dear Annie,

You really surprised me after the last group meeting. It was difficult to end it and walk out of that room. But you were by my side. I had someone to be with who would listen and understand what I was going through. It shocked me when you led me outside to your car. My face must have looked like I transformed into a ghost. You didn’t give me warning you were going to take me out after group. We drove to a coffee shop and sat outside. You ordered us a pot of green tea and an assortment of small desserts as a treat.

I wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea. It was sweet of you but truthfully, it really freaked me out. The words wouldn’t come to me at the time. Instead I pretended to be okay. Meanwhile, my insides were twisting up inside. You thought a celebration away from the counseling center would be good for me. You forgot one thing in your surprise. How leaving a safe place, well, sort of a safe place, would make me feel. You know I am an agoraphobic. That was the first time I’ve been to a public restaurant in over 7 years. Why you thought that was a good idea, I will never understand.

I know I said I would try to work with you about going out to different places. But I thought you would prepare me before we did anything. I don’t want to say more than this about what we did. Maybe some other time we can figure out how to get me to work with you on this but I am definitely not ready to do it now.

I have a different plan for what I would like to work on this week in therapy. I found a survey which I feel could be very revealing. I plan on filling it out. It felt like a way of my telling you some personal, in-depth truths about myself. The information that is asked for looks really difficult to answer but I will try to be as honest & freely detailed as possible.

My thoughts & feelings are to treat it as though it were a Rorschach test. I will think of you asking me each request for something intimate about myself & I will answer in a responsive manner without trying to cover up my immediate reaction. It may be scary to be so revealing but I will make every effort not to hide what I am holding inside.

Let’s look at it as a test in truth & trust. Fair enough. I felt we could, then, discuss what I wrote at our next session or you could ask me from the written question what I am feeling while in our session. To make even more immediate and then compare the two responses.

I really don’t want to talk about our going out in the past session. So, I hope you like my idea of doing this. If not, I can at least give you a copy of what the survey is and how I responded. It will hopefully be informative and give you a further insight into how I work.

Now, I’m about to take a deep breath. I need to concentrate and make myself relax. I am not really good at these surveys. I’m not exactly sure why I’m putting myself through this, but I’ve already committed. So, bravery it is. Here goes:

My Mood today is… I have a touch of apprehension and feelings of disappointment even though I feel I am achieving progress on all the projects I have started. Left over fear from something I was afraid to do but found the courage inside myself to reach out of my comfort zone to actually do.

Relationship status… I have a partner who gives me amazing support. Who is there for me when I need her to be even though I feel she doesn’t always feel I am there for her, but the truth is I would do anything for her, whatever it would be, if she asked.

Health status… My cancer is in remission but I have a left over weakness I am still rebounding from which exhausts me so easily. My bipolar gives me a faux sense of energy which I use, then I crash from using it up. I don’t sleep well. Too many nightmares, Not enough good dreams.

I would describe my spiritual path as… Reincarnation. Spirits. Guardian Angels. I want to believe there is a consciousness after we leave our bodies. The Soul feels real to me. Nothing else explains all the phenomena I experience that reality cannot explain.

Main thing on my mind is… A friend I feel close to. My feelings are strong. It is so easy to hurt each other. I love her deeply. I know in my past I have always had trouble being able to maintain any relationships except my one with my partner, Scottie. Losing people I love is a huge part of my past and I am afraid part of my present and future. I do not deal with loss well. It breaks my heart when I lose anyone I love. And it seems like it happens too frequently and continually in my life. I know many actors and entertainers from my connections through Scottie. Scottie likes to have parties. Some of those people we have gotten close to have died suddenly, shocking the world. But for those who knew them, it is even more difficult. So, I would say loss seems to always be on my mind. It never gives me a moment of peace.

My ambitions are…. To be writing my screenplays and hoping for success to continue. I wish to be nominated for a BAFTA, a Golden Globe, and an Oscar. It would be amazing to reach the ability to write such a script that would move people to actually be positively affected by what I have to say with my words. Also, to someday write a play good or great enough for Broadway. I’ve always dreamed of being in the theatre as well as the movies, once upon a time to be on stage but then I realized I preferred being the one who wrote the words the actors spoke.

What I want most is…. I would love to have enough money to start many different organizations which would care for animals, children who have been abused, grown-ups dealing with their abuse as adults, retreats to support artists in all areas of creative expression, set up a scholarship fund to enable those who want to pursue the arts through training whether it be college or workshops, to become a patron of gifted artists. I want to be clear when I use the word artists, I am referring to the arts inclusive of painters, writers, poets, sculptures, those in the graphic arts, film. I have already established a film production company with Scottie, I would love to start a school for training actors. Find the best professionals to do workshops. Go back to the ways of the Actors Studio with Lee Strasburg and train actors in the way of Great Britain.

What I need most is…. How to be able to feel love without fear mixed in. To make love without shutting down from the fear I learned when I was abused as a child and as an adult. To feel close to people who I love and who want to love me in return. To not replay the abuse when someone I am close to might trigger a behavior that feels like the way an abuser seduced me or made me feel.

I have been reading…. A great many books on Bipolar, literature, poetry, Anais Nin, Virginia Woolf. I love fantasy, and the mystical. My great passion are books on psychology, mysteries and psychological thrillers.

I have been watching… Lost. This series has me hypnotized. I watch my DVDs on my favorite series of all times, “Twin Peaks” by David Lynch. I watch films day and night, also. I love the classics. In the late 30s through the early 70s, that is when the best films were made.

I have been listening to…. Classical, folk, some pop, some rap, musical theatre, Celtic. Specific performers: Yo-Yo Ma,

My best characteristics are…. I am kind & gentle. I listen & try to understand people who need someone to listen to them. I am empathetic. I try to encourage & give support to other. I love animals more than any other creatures on the planet and care about them. I am an animal whisperer. I draw animals & people out who are withdrawn & feel unable to trust anyone.

My worst characteristics are… I lose my temper too easily & become irritable. My bipolar sets this behavior off in me. I withdraw from people. I am not sure if this is a characteristic but my feelings get hurt really easily & I am not very forgiving. I hate saying I am sorry. That has to do with my childhood.

My vices are… I don’t really have any now. I use to smoke, do drugs, drink coffee, swear, sexual often, spending too much money, got drunk, but I don’t do any of these now, except swearing but I don’t see that as a vice.

Politically I would describe myself as… Progressive. I want peace everywhere. I feel everyone should be taken care of & have their needs met in any way possible.

In terms of fashion and lifestyle I would describe myself as… Casual. Relaxed. Not into latest fashion. I like to be comfortable. Warm when it’s cold out. Cool when it is warm out.

I would like to learn… Several new languages. French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic, I would like to learn how to play the piano properly, not the way I know how to play it now. I would like to learn how to make a film that are computer generated animation with fantastic images.

My recent regrets are… Hurting someone I would never have wanted to hurt ever in my life.

My recent achievements are… Completing a screenplay that has been made into a film which is almost ready to be released to the theatre audience. Created a poetry collection that is due to be published very soon.

My message to myself is… I feel I am a good person. I love the people and animals I love and I let them know how I feel. I try to give myself a break for not being perfect. I need to be easier on myself for making mistakes. I need to stop being so hard on myself. I need to let myself be loved. Lastly, I want to tell myself it is okay to feel what it is like to be loved in all ways, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically and sexually. It is okay for me to let go of the abuse of the past and feel the generosity of love being given to me now without feeling scared to feel it and to share it and to return the love without fear.

How do you think I did, Annie? I thought I was pretty direct. Maybe a B+ for courage and an A+ for effort.
Maybe it’s time to change the subject. “Brief Sacrifice” feels like it is in order. I am sure you must be curious by now to find out what is in the Silver Box with absolutely not seems or ways of opening it up. It will take magic. James, Carter McLeod’s Savannah cat, he is the key to the Silver Box. It is up to him to perform a certain task. You must recall James is psychic. One of his many qualities.

Another one of His abilities is to cause objects to perform in ways contrary to their make-up and ability. In these cases, James needs to concentrate. In his mind, lies the key with the Power to make anything do what He wants it to do. How is James, a mere cat, going to know what is expected of him, you ask? Magic. He is filled with Magic.
Not the kind David Blaine or David Copperfield perform. They are smoke and mirrors.

James is of the Deeper Magic. The Magic that caused the world to be Created. Deeper, even more than that. It is the Magic which caused the Big Bang to occur. The kind that created the Universe and all the Stars, Planets, Solar Systems, Quarks, Black Holes, and Cosmos upon Cosmos. All that makes the Universe expand, divide and create Multi-verses. The Magic of Infinity, Reincarnation, Karma and Nirvana, Dragons and Mythical Creatures, once they were Real but they disappeared into the Ether. Yet, they exist still but only reveal themselves to those who have the power of the Seer. The Power of Sight.

James will be the catalyst to save humankind. He will open the door to All of Time. Nikola Tesla has created from the Deeper Magic, a gift for Humankind. Within the Silver Box, this gift has rested since Nikola Tesla gave the Silver Box to the old man. And now Carter McLeod is in possession of this Silver Box. It is up to Jackson Sharp to open the power within James, so he will be able to open the Silver Box. Once it is opened, the content will be revealed. But even then the Magic will not be revealed. The Magic is within the Gift in the Silver Box. It must be understood before the Magic can be awakened held within the Gift.

This is as far as we will go in this letter. Let your imagination follow these revelations. Find the path in which it leads. Eventually, all with be revealed. Patience is of the utmost importance in this matter.

Oh, my, the story within my script, within the film “Brief Sacrifice” is a wild ride. It has barely begun.
Till I see you next Tuesday and we discuss my survey and whatever else comes up, I am going to rest. And later, I may work on my latest screenplay. I will tell something about it when I am ready. It is at a stage when it needs to be between me and my computer screen.

Hope you will have a good week until I see you next week.

Fondly,
Madison

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp

rain in garden gif

“Dreaming In Chaos”
Narrative Haiku [5-7-7]
by Madison Taylor

Tuesday 15th April 2008

Dreaming in chaos
Two divided both broken
Friendship betrayed lost purpose

Claim broken is wrong
Trusting in truth essential
Comprehension not valid

Devotion damaged
Disparaging remarks stabbed
Distortion destroyed feelings

Time elicits pain
Illusion perceived unearthed
Difference creates changes

Pieces broke not healed
Damage increases distance
Understand ethereal

Vanishing goodness
Pressure continues more stabs
Bleeding emotions lose hope

No cure in future
Hopelessness drying in stone
What was grey turned black and white

© madison taylor 2008

Abstract Chaos --- Artist Anonymous

Abstract Chaos — Artist Anonymous

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212 Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

Snow Dragon with Woman --- Digital Art by Eyu Letsana. Borrowed from The Dragon of the Month Post of MacKenzie's Dragonsnest. See Below for the Link to you site and the Post the Snow Dragon is Featured.

Snow Dragon with Woman — Digital Art by Eyu Letsana. Borrowed from The Dragon of the Month Post of MacKenzie’s Dragonsnest. Link below to Shawn MacKenzie’s, site and her post featuring the Snow Dragon.

The Frost is on the Dragon — Posted Thursday 10th October 2013 on MacKenzie’s Dragonsnest . [Blog Name is Link].

These are some of the Illustrated Images of Mythical Creatures and Dragon to be featured in the Film “Brief Sacrifice.” They are key to aiding in Carter McLeod finding the secrets which eventually will need to be discovered in order to carry out the Friends of Nikola Tesla’s plans for the future of humankind.

neil gaiman from stardust 972x633

Neil Gaiman from Stardust

play is not just play meryl streep

Private Writings: Chapter #28 — Death on the Veranda

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #28 – –Death on the Veranda
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Published Introduction & Chapter #1
On 19th March 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On 1st October 2013
Dedicated to Julie Andrews. Always Wished She Were My Mother.
Happy Birthday! 1st October 1935 Day J.A. Blessed This World. Saved My Life.

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: — Chapter #28: Death on the Veranda

Tuesday 1st April 2008

Dear Annie,

That was some announcement you made in group. I was stunned and couldn’t react in our session or in group today. I thought it being April Fool’s Day you were joking. First you tell us group had one more meeting, the last being next Tuesday followed by our session. Then to top that off, came the shock of the decade. The police declared Angie’s death a homicide. They arrested Dr. George. He has been charge with her murder. They feel the evidence is pretty airtight. The only thing you didn’t say was the cause of death.

A murder, I thought so all along, but Dr. George. Why would he throw away everything for her? It doesn’t sound right to me. She was not a very nice person. He must have been threatened to make him kill her. Not trying to blame the victim, but why are the police being so quiet about it all. Not a clue to go on. Curious mind wants to know. It’s driving slowly by a crash scene. You don’t want to see the gore but you do want to know what happened. Everyone does, unless they have a total lack of curiosity.

I hope he didn’t do it and a good lawyer gets him off. My feelings aside, he doesn’t deserve prison for putting up with her for ten years. We both started seeing him about the same time. He seemed alright back then, but deteriorated slowly since then. Retiring would have been one way to go, but murder. To be taken out by killing someone. That’s going a bit too far, indubitably.

I don’t mean to take this so lightly, but it is April Fool’s, remember. It all seems like a dream someone sat on and all the cream filling went smush! Should I really be serious? Angie died. I don’t miss her. Don’t even say I should, just little. Never. Not ever. She stuck me every week with her sarcasm and fucked up sense of propriety. Homophobia, she took to an extreme. She was twisted. Perverse. Jealous, I have someone who loves me. Couldn’t stand anyone being happy, if she wasn’t. I know she was definitely pissed off at the whole fucking world, like it owed her something.

Well, I do not miss her. Maybe sorry she was murdered. That part is terrible. It hurts her kids. I remember what I said when we all first heard about it, I said her kids would have a better life. But I am sure they are hurting now. It creeps me out thinking about it.

You mentioned in group, at the close, there is another group forming soon. It would be a selected group. More specific but you didn’t say how specific. I should have asked you in session but it slipped my mind. Feeling depressed for the past several days needed more attention.

Everything felt so lost. The more I felt myself slipping away from the real world, the deeper the pain was cutting into my flesh. Wanting to make myself hurt with physical pain was my only distraction from wanting to kill myself. Wanting to die was so powerful. A voice was speaking to me, “how do you think your friends and Scottie and your animals feel if you died by killing yourself.” It is my animals and Scottie who keep me around. And the friend who spoke those words, she, also, keeps me alive. I couldn’t hurt any of them, not in taking my own life. I have no control over feeling depressed. It is build into the misfiring of my brain.

Being bipolar gives me such highs. I write the sharpest dialogue and scenes are filled with life. When I’m depressed, I find a way of using those moments to be creative, also. But the pain courses through my blood, wanting to burst through like a gusher. The pressure in my head, to scream out the need to beat myself, to make myself bleed. Depression is so difficult to talk about, everyone backs away from it. They don’t get it. The worse things a person can do to a person who is feeling this way is to tell them to “Snap Out of It,” or “Get Over It, ” and the best, “What Do You Have to be Depressed About? You’ve got a great life.”

Depression has nothing to do with what you have or how much money in your bank account. You could be the wealthiest person in the world. Depression doesn’t acknowledge the means of one’s life. Graduating college Head of the Dean’s List, head of your class, editor of the college paper, that isn’t recognized when you want to kill yourself. Being nominated for an Oscar, absolutely nothing in it stops depression. When Depression wants to grab ahold of you, pull you down or push you closer and closer to the edge, nothing will stop it but trying to refocus its’ intentions. It feels an entity onto itself, with more power then I have inside of me to fight it.

I have won all the battles so far, but they are not through with me. Probably never will be. It is my battle to have two prominent sides to my bipolar. I am just so excited when I am excited because I am not depressed. There is a catch. Being high on life when bipolar can spin you too far to the upper end. You can get too high. Once again, the possibilities of losing control.

I want to switch over to a quick look into “Brief Sacrifice.” I have one piece for you this week from the script. There is a secret organization trying to locate the Friends of Nikola Tesla. They want to destroy them. They know something is changing. They know Carter McLeod is in possession of the Silver Box, and that it holds magical powers. They want to retrieve this and the person who holds it. Their anagram is GEUSS. Pronounced as the word “Guess.” I will tell you in my next letter about the initials and what the anagram means.

We should really talk about what I wrote and the poem I know I am going to write after I finish this letter.

It makes me feel so happy your being in my life.

Fondly,

Madison

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

<em>Somewhere In Time – John Barry</em>

calla_lily_bunch

Calla Lily Bunch

rain in garden gif

Screaming Death
Written by Madison Taylor
1st April 2008

Screaming death
Life ending
Beginning
Dying

Living has too many endings
Once there
Disappearing
Into invisible air

Pain fills the heart
Exploding like fireworks
Shooting stars
Covering the sky

Blood spurting
From dying flesh
Taken out
By the enemy

All is stolen
Dreams
Memories
Not yet lived

Just gone
All is gone
Ripped apart
Stolen away from love

© madison taylor 2008

Reflecting Abstract Artist --- Jaison Cianelli

Reflecting — Abstract Art — Artist — Jaison Cianelli

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212 Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

English Country Gardens Chateau de Rocher framed

English Country Gardens Chateau de Rocher

play is not just play meryl streep

Easy On The Adverbs

tell me a story
Easy On The Adverbs
Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle

Written By Elmore Leonard
Written 16th July 2001
Created by Jk the secret keeper
[Sound Tape] Interview With Elmore Leonard
Created 22nd August 2013
Posted Thursday 5th September 2013
TELL ME A STORY

Some words from Elmore Leonard.


John Hodgeman Interviewing Elmore Leonard

elmore leonard  get shorty

WRITERS ON WRITING
Easy on the Adverbs,
Exclamation Points and Especially Hooptedoodle

By ELMORE LEONARD

Published: July 16, 2001

These are rules I’ve picked up along the way to help me remain invisible when I’m writing a book, to help me show rather than tell what’s taking place in the story. If you have a facility for language and imagery and the sound of your voice pleases you, invisibility is not what you are after, and you can skip the rules. Still, you might look them over.

1. Never open a book with weather.

If it’s only to create atmosphere, and not a character’s reaction to the weather, you don’t want to go on too long. The reader is apt to leaf ahead looking for people. There are exceptions. If you happen to be Barry Lopez, who has more ways to describe ice and snow than an Eskimo, you can do all the weather reporting you want.

2. Avoid prologues.

They can be annoying, especially a prologue following an introduction that comes after a foreword. But these are ordinarily found in nonfiction. A prologue in a novel is backstory, and you can drop it in anywhere you want.

There is a prologue in John Steinbeck’s “Sweet Thursday,” but it’s O.K. because a character in the book makes the point of what my rules are all about. He says: ”I like a lot of talk in a book and I don’t like to have nobody tell me what the guy that’s talking looks like. I want to figure out what he looks like from the way he talks. . . . figure out what the guy’s thinking from what he says. I like some description but not too much of that. . . . Sometimes I want a book to break loose with a bunch of hooptedoodle. . . . Spin up some pretty words maybe or sing a little song with language. That’s nice. But I wish it was set aside so I don’t have to read it. I don’t want hooptedoodle to get mixed up with the story.”

3. Never use a verb other than “said” to carry dialogue.

The line of dialogue belongs to the character; the verb is the writer sticking his nose in. But said is far less intrusive than grumbled, gasped, cautioned, lied. I once noticed Mary McCarthy ending a line of dialogue with ”she asseverated,” and had to stop reading to get the dictionary.

4. Never use an adverb to modify the verb “said” …

. . . he admonished gravely. To use an adverb this way (or almost any way) is a mortal sin. The writer is now exposing himself in earnest, using a word that distracts and can interrupt the rhythm of the exchange. I have a character in one of my books tell how she used to write historical romances ”full of rape and adverbs.”

5. Keep your exclamation points under control.

You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose. If you have the knack of playing with exclaimers the way Tom Wolfe does, you can throw them in by the handful.

elmore-leonard

Elmore Leonard

6. Never use the words “suddenly” or “all hell broke loose.”

This rule doesn’t require an explanation. I have noticed that writers who use ”suddenly” tend to exercise less control in the application of exclamation points.

7. Use regional dialect, patois, sparingly.

Once you start spelling words in dialogue phonetically and loading the page with apostrophes, you won’t be able to stop. Notice the way Annie Proulx captures the flavor of Wyoming voices in her book of short stories “Close Range.”

8. Avoid detailed descriptions of characters.

Which Steinbeck covered. In Ernest Hemingway’s ”Hills Like White Elephants” what do the ”American and the girl with him” look like? ”She had taken off her hat and put it on the table.” That’s the only reference to a physical description in the story, and yet we see the couple and know them by their tones of voice, with not one adverb in sight.

9. Don’t go into great detail describing places and things.

Unless you’re Margaret Atwood and can paint scenes with language or write landscapes in the style of Jim Harrison. But even if you’re good at it, you don’t want descriptions that bring the action, the flow of the story, to a standstill.

And finally:

10. Try to leave out the part that readers tend to skip.

A rule that came to mind in 1983. Think of what you skip reading a novel: thick paragraphs of prose you can see have too many words in them. What the writer is doing, he’s writing, perpetrating hooptedoodle, perhaps taking another shot at the weather, or has gone into the character’s head, and the reader either knows what the guy’s thinking or doesn’t care. I’ll bet you don’t skip dialogue.

My most important rule is one that sums up the 10.

If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.

Elmore Leonard: Be Cool [sequel to 'Get Shorty']  769x1181

Elmore Leonard: Be Cool Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative. It’s my attempt to remain invisible, not distract the reader from the story with obvious writing. (Joseph Conrad said something about words getting in the way of what you want to say.)

If I write in scenes and always from the point of view of a particular character — the one whose view best brings the scene to life — I’m able to concentrate on the voices of the characters telling you who they are and how they feel about what they see and what’s going on, and I’m nowhere in sight.

What Steinbeck did in Sweet Thursday was title his chapters as an indication, though obscure, of what they cover. Whom the Gods Love They Drive Nuts is one, Lousy Wednesday another. The third chapter is titled “Hooptedoodle 1″ and the 38th chapter “Hooptedoodle 2″ as warnings to the reader, as if Steinbeck is saying: “Here’s where you’ll see me taking flights of fancy with my writing, and it won’t get in the way of the story. Skip them if you want.”

Sweet Thursday came out in 1954, when I was just beginning to be published, and I’ve never forgotten that prologue.
Did I read the hooptedoodle chapters? Every word.

Writers on Writing
NYTimes

elmore leonard-lauded

Elmore Leonard Lauded

R.I.P Elmore John Leonard [October 11, 1925 – August 20, 2013]

Flowers Song and Poetry

Flowers Song and a Poem
Post Created by Jennifer Kiley
Poem Written by Henry David Thoreau
Created Thursday 29th August 2013
Posted Saturday 31th August 2013
Poetry Out Loud

Dedicated to a Special Friend Who Has Met the Trials of Life Head On

flowers yellow white pinkish with green background of leaves for niamh

Friendship

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,
Love is to me a world,
Sole meat and sweetest drink,
And close connecting link
Tween heaven and earth.

I only know it is, not how or why,
My greatest happiness;
However hard I try,
Not if I were to die,
Can I explain.

I fain would ask my friend how it can be,
But when the time arrives,
Then Love is more lovely
Than anything to me,
And so I’m dumb.

For if the truth were known, Love cannot speak,
But only thinks and does;
Though surely out ’twill leak
Without the help of Greek,
Or any tongue.

A man may love the truth and practise it,
Beauty he may admire,
And goodness not omit,
As much as may befit
To reverence.

But only when these three together meet,
As they always incline,
And make one soul the seat,
And favorite retreat,
Of loveliness;

When under kindred shape, like loves and hates
And a kindred nature,
Proclaim us to be mates,
Exposed to equal fates
Eternally;

And each may other help, and service do,
Drawing Love’s bands more tight,
Service he ne’er shall rue
While one and one make two,
And two are one;

In such case only doth man fully prove
Fully as man can do,
What power there is in Love
His inmost soul to move
Resistlessly.

______

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,
Withstand the winter’s storm,
And spite of wind and tide,
Grow up the meadow’s pride,
For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined
Down to their deepest source,
Admiring you shall find
Their roots are intertwined
Insep’rably.

Henry David Thoreau

lady butterfly painted green back ground

Easy To Be — Prospecta featuring Lila Goldie

http://russelrayphotos2.com/2013/08/30/top-10-reasons-for-adopting-a-dog-from-second-chance-dog-rescue/ If you want to rescue a dog check this site out.