The Known and the Unknown – #1 Excerpts from the Essay “Fail Safe” Written by Debbie Millman Post by Jennifer Kiley Post Sunday 20th July 2014 The Essay titled “Fail Safe” Taken From Anthology Look Both Ways: Illustrated Essays on the Intersection of Life and Design
Debbie Millman is an Artist Strategist & Interviewer
“Fail Safe” The Essay-Explores Existential Skills-Living With Uncertainty-Embracing The Unfamiliar-Allowing For Not Knowing-Cultivating What John Keats Famously Termed “Negative Capability”
The Known and the Unknown – #1
For most of my lifeI followed a safe path.I remember in vivid detailthe moment I began the journey August 1983, thehot MUGGY SUMMER OF “SYNCHRONICITY” and “MODERN LOVE.” A fewmonths out of COLLEGE I stood on the corner of seventh avenue and BLEEKER STREET INNEW YORK City wearingpastel-blue balloon trousers,a hot PINK V-neck T-shirt and bright White Capezio Oxfords. I lingered at the intersection peering deep into my future contemplating the choice between the secure and the uncertain between the creative and the LOGICAL…
Where were you when I was burned and broken While the days slipped by from my window watching Where were you when I was hurt and helpless Because the things you say and the things you do surround me While you were hanging yourself on someone else’s words Dying to believe in what you heard I was staring straight into the shining sun
Lost in thought and lost in time While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted Outside the rain fell dark and slow While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime I took a heavenly ride through our silence I knew the moment had arrived For killing the past and coming back to life
I took a heavenly ride through our silence I knew the waiting had begun And headed straight..into the shining sun
“I Am One of the Searchers” There are, I believe,millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neitherare we really content. We continue to explore life,hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continueto explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean,taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mysteryand unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains,deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities aswell. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives asis our laughter. To share our sadness with one we loveis perhaps as great a joy as we can know. Unless it be to share our laughter.
We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide.Most of all welove and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, notprevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We donot want to have to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.
“Slow” marine animals show their secret life under high magnification. Corals and sponges are very mobile creatures, but their motion is only detectable at different time scales compared to ours and requires time lapses to be seen. These animals build coral reefs and play crucial roles in the biosphere, yet we know almost nothing about their daily lives.
NEW YORK (AP) — Maya Angelou, a modern Renaissance woman who survived the harshest of childhoods to become a force on stage, screen, the printed page and the inaugural dais, died Wednesday, her son said. She was 86.
Angelou’s son, Guy B. Johnson, said the writer died at her home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she had been a professor of American studies at Wake Forest University since 1982.
Tall and regal, with a deep, majestic voice, Angelou defied all probability and category, becoming one of the first black women to enjoy mainstream success as an author and thriving in virtually every artistic medium. The young single mother who worked at strip clubs to earn a living later wrote and recited the most popular presidential inaugural poem in history. The childhood victim of rape wrote a million-selling memoir, befriended Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., and performed on stages around the world.
An actress, singer and dancer in the 1950s and 1960s, she broke through as an author in 1969 with “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” which became standard (and occasionally censored) reading, and was the first of a multipart autobiography that continued through the decades. In 1993, she was a sensation reading her cautiously hopeful “On the Pulse of the Morning” at President Bill Clinton’s first inauguration. Her confident performance openly delighted Clinton and made the poem a best-seller, if not a critical favorite.
A Heartfelt Goodbye to Virginia Woolf 73 Years Later
25 January 1882 – 28 March 1941
Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 23rd March 2014
Posted Friday 28th March 2014
A TRIBUTE TO VIRGINIA WOOLF
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”
“Books are the mirrors of the soul.”
I can only note that the past is beautiful
because one never realises an emotion at the time.
It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete
emotions about the present, only about the past.”
“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.”
“Love, the poet said, is woman’s whole existence.”
“The truth is, I often like women. I like their
unconventionality. I like their completeness. I
like their anonymity. ”
“I thought how unpleasant it is to be locked out; and
I thought how it is worse, perhaps, to be locked in.”
“All extremes of feeling are allied with madness.”
“For it would seem – her case proved it – that we
write, not with the fingers, but with the whole
person. The nerve which controls the pen winds
itself about every fibre of our being, threads
the heart, pierces the liver.”
“I am reading six books at once, the only way of
reading; since, as you will agree, one book is
only a single unaccompanied note, and to get the
full sound, one needs ten others at the same time.”
“So long as you write what you wish to write, that
is all that matters; and whether it matters for
ages or only for hours, nobody can say.”
“When I cannot see words curling like rings of
smoke round me I am in darkness—I am nothing.”
“It is in our idleness, in our dreams, that the sub-
merged truth sometimes makes its way to the surface.”
“For now she need not think of anybody. She could be
herself, by herself. And that was what now she often
felt the need of – to think; well not even to think.
To be silent; to be alone. All the being and the doing,
expansive, glittering, vocal, evaporated; and one shrunk,
with a sense of solemnity, to being oneself, a wedge-
shaped core of darkness, something invisible to others…
and this self having shed its attachments was free for
the strangest adventures.”
“Fiction is like a spider’s web, attached ever so lightly
perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners.”
“Was not writing poetry a secret transaction, a voice
answering a voice?”
“Let us again pretend that life is a solid substance,
shaped like a globe, which we turn about in our fingers.
Let us pretend that we can make out a plain and logical
story, so that when one matter is despatched—love for
instance—we go on, in an orderly manner, to the next.”
“The only advice, indeed, that one person can give another
about reading is to take no advice, to follow your own
instincts, to use your own reason, to come to your own
conclusions. If this is agreed between us, then I feel at
liberty to put forward a few ideas and suggestions because
you will not allow them to fetter that independence which
is the most important quality that a reader can possess.
After all, what laws can be laid down about books? The
battle of Waterloo was certainly fought on a certain day;
but is Hamlet a better play than Lear? Nobody can say.
Each must decide that question for himself. To admit
authorities, however heavily furred and gowned, into our
libraries and let them tell us how to read, what to read,
what value to place upon what we read, is to destroy the
spirit of freedom which is the breath of those sanctuaries.
Everywhere else we may be bound by laws and conventions-
there we have none.”
“The most extraordinary thing about writing is that
when you’ve struck the right vein, tiredness goes.”
“…who shall measure the heat and violence of a poet’s
heart when caught and tangled in a woman’s body?”
“I feel so intensely the delights of shutting oneself
up in a little world of one’s own, with pictures and
music and everything beautiful.”
“By the truth we are undone. Life is a dream. ‘Tis the
waking that kills us. He who robs us of our dreams robs
us of our life.”
— Virginia Woolf [from Her Books & Diaries]
Virginia & Leonard Woolf 1939 National Photo Gallery London The Dinner Party: Virginia Woolf
Virginia Woolf’s Handwritten Suicide Note to Her Husband Leonard: A Painful & Poignant Farewell 
Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.
Virginia Woolf’s Monk’s House Garden
Leonard buried Virginia’s ashes under the two intertwined Elm trees in their backyard at Monk’s House, their summer home in Sussex. The Elm trees in which they had nicknamed “Virginia and Leonard,” the spot was marked with a stone tablet engraved with the last lines from her novel The Waves: “Against you I fling myself, unvanquished and unyielding, O Death! The waves crashed on the shore.” After Leonard Woolf died on August 14, 1969, he was cremated and his ashes were buried next to Virginia’s under the Elm Trees at Monk’s House.
The following piece of music composed by Beethoven was to be the music played at Virginia Woolf’s and Leonard Woolf’s cremation ceremony. Leonard was so filled with grief, another piece of music was played but when he was home, he played Beethoven: String Quartet Op. 130. V. Cantina: adagio molto expressivo. It is most beautiful and soothing piece of music. I understand why Virginia and Leonard Woolf chose this piece of music. It is beautiful. It gives me a sense of being with Virginia Woolf who I admire with a fullness in my heart. She has touched my soul with her words. Her essence is alive within them. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to us in your writing with such a depth of honesty and Truth. You are not forgotten.
Sir Ken Robinson makes an entertaining and profoundly moving case for creating an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity. Education should nurture the individual rather than be so concerned about test scores.
Encourage children to investigate their ideas and run with them. Do not stifle them with a mandated belief system of education that is limiting.
The arts are disappearing from school systems. Children have the capacity to be innovative and have tremendous talents. They just need to be brought to the surface. Picasso said that all children are born artists but they are forced to grow out of it, instead creativity should be valued and also nurtured. So many children’s dreams of succeeding in the arts are discouraged most of their childhoods.
As long as the painting is only going to go up on the fridge, that’s okay but wanting to continue into life creating any form of art is most often looked down upon as something that will turn you into a Vincent van Gogh, broke all his life. But those who own his paintings now are bloody millionaires and billionaires.
Why is the artist not supported in our society?
Writers create ways of looking at the world from a new perspective.
All artists try to find within them the muse that will open or reopen the door to the mystical, magical world of our imagination.
Well, I suggest it is valuable and important to listen to this video. It is enlightening and humorous.
Sir Ken Robinson is a brilliant mind who has important knowledge and insight to convey in his TED talk on creativity and education. Listen, hear, laugh and enjoy and if you have children or have an influence on them consider encouraging their creativity. by Jennifer Kiley
Anais Nin: Thinks of June — Part Two The Diary of Anais Nin — Volume One Transposed by Jennifer Kiley Post Created by Jk the secret keeper Illustrated j. kiley Post Created on Wednesday 30th October 2013 Posted on Sunday 3rd November 2013 A Writer’s Word
Monet, Claude — Woman in the Garden
Anaïs Nin Thinks of June Part Two
“Her face startlingly white as she retreated into the darkness of the garden,
she posed for me as she left.
I wanted to run out and kiss her fantastic beauty and say:
June, you killed my sincerity too.
I will never know again who I am, what I am, what I love, what I want.
Your beauty has drowned me, the core of me.
You carry away with you a part of me reflected in you.
When your beauty struck me, it dissolved me. Deep down.
I am not different from you. I dreamed you, I wished for your existence.
You are the woman I want to be.
I see in you that part of me which is you.
I feel compassion for your child is pride, for your trembling unsureness,
your dramatization of events,
your enhancing of the loves given to you.
I surrender my sincerity because if I love you
it means we share the same fantasies, the same madnesses.”
Ophelia  John William Waterhouse
WARNING: A BIPOLAR RIDE ALL THE WAY…ENJOY!!! [may not be for everybody but those who get it will laugh…TRUST ME!!!
Published on Oct 7, 2013
Swiss artist and photographer Fabian Oefner is on a mission to make eye-catching art from everyday science. In this charming talk, he shows off some recent psychedelic images, including photographs of crystals as they interact with soundwaves. And, in a live demo, he shows what really happens when you mix paint with magnetic liquid–or when you set fire to whiskey.
Very impressive experiments mixing science with art and creating amazing visions of beauty & visual imagery otherwise not being able to be created. Be prepared to be impressed at the unique sights Fabian Oefner creates. He is also an entertaining speaker you will enjoy.
Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 15th October 2013
WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,
and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor
Private Writings: Chapter #30 — Tea Party on the Ceiling
Tuesday 8th April 2008
You really surprised me after the last group meeting. It was difficult to end it and walk out of that room. But you were by my side. I had someone to be with who would listen and understand what I was going through. It shocked me when you led me outside to your car. My face must have looked like I transformed into a ghost. You didn’t give me warning you were going to take me out after group. We drove to a coffee shop and sat outside. You ordered us a pot of green tea and an assortment of small desserts as a treat.
I wasn’t exactly thrilled by the idea. It was sweet of you but truthfully, it really freaked me out. The words wouldn’t come to me at the time. Instead I pretended to be okay. Meanwhile, my insides were twisting up inside. You thought a celebration away from the counseling center would be good for me. You forgot one thing in your surprise. How leaving a safe place, well, sort of a safe place, would make me feel. You know I am an agoraphobic. That was the first time I’ve been to a public restaurant in over 7 years. Why you thought that was a good idea, I will never understand.
I know I said I would try to work with you about going out to different places. But I thought you would prepare me before we did anything. I don’t want to say more than this about what we did. Maybe some other time we can figure out how to get me to work with you on this but I am definitely not ready to do it now.
I have a different plan for what I would like to work on this week in therapy. I found a survey which I feel could be very revealing. I plan on filling it out. It felt like a way of my telling you some personal, in-depth truths about myself. The information that is asked for looks really difficult to answer but I will try to be as honest & freely detailed as possible.
My thoughts & feelings are to treat it as though it were a Rorschach test. I will think of you asking me each request for something intimate about myself & I will answer in a responsive manner without trying to cover up my immediate reaction. It may be scary to be so revealing but I will make every effort not to hide what I am holding inside.
Let’s look at it as a test in truth & trust. Fair enough. I felt we could, then, discuss what I wrote at our next session or you could ask me from the written question what I am feeling while in our session. To make even more immediate and then compare the two responses.
I really don’t want to talk about our going out in the past session. So, I hope you like my idea of doing this. If not, I can at least give you a copy of what the survey is and how I responded. It will hopefully be informative and give you a further insight into how I work.
Now, I’m about to take a deep breath. I need to concentrate and make myself relax. I am not really good at these surveys. I’m not exactly sure why I’m putting myself through this, but I’ve already committed. So, bravery it is. Here goes:
My Mood today is… I have a touch of apprehension and feelings of disappointment even though I feel I am achieving progress on all the projects I have started. Left over fear from something I was afraid to do but found the courage inside myself to reach out of my comfort zone to actually do.
Relationship status… I have a partner who gives me amazing support. Who is there for me when I need her to be even though I feel she doesn’t always feel I am there for her, but the truth is I would do anything for her, whatever it would be, if she asked.
Health status… My cancer is in remission but I have a left over weakness I am still rebounding from which exhausts me so easily. My bipolar gives me a faux sense of energy which I use, then I crash from using it up. I don’t sleep well. Too many nightmares, Not enough good dreams.
I would describe my spiritual path as… Reincarnation. Spirits. Guardian Angels. I want to believe there is a consciousness after we leave our bodies. The Soul feels real to me. Nothing else explains all the phenomena I experience that reality cannot explain.
Main thing on my mind is… A friend I feel close to. My feelings are strong. It is so easy to hurt each other. I love her deeply. I know in my past I have always had trouble being able to maintain any relationships except my one with my partner, Scottie. Losing people I love is a huge part of my past and I am afraid part of my present and future. I do not deal with loss well. It breaks my heart when I lose anyone I love. And it seems like it happens too frequently and continually in my life. I know many actors and entertainers from my connections through Scottie. Scottie likes to have parties. Some of those people we have gotten close to have died suddenly, shocking the world. But for those who knew them, it is even more difficult. So, I would say loss seems to always be on my mind. It never gives me a moment of peace.
My ambitions are…. To be writing my screenplays and hoping for success to continue. I wish to be nominated for a BAFTA, a Golden Globe, and an Oscar. It would be amazing to reach the ability to write such a script that would move people to actually be positively affected by what I have to say with my words. Also, to someday write a play good or great enough for Broadway. I’ve always dreamed of being in the theatre as well as the movies, once upon a time to be on stage but then I realized I preferred being the one who wrote the words the actors spoke.
What I want most is…. I would love to have enough money to start many different organizations which would care for animals, children who have been abused, grown-ups dealing with their abuse as adults, retreats to support artists in all areas of creative expression, set up a scholarship fund to enable those who want to pursue the arts through training whether it be college or workshops, to become a patron of gifted artists. I want to be clear when I use the word artists, I am referring to the arts inclusive of painters, writers, poets, sculptures, those in the graphic arts, film. I have already established a film production company with Scottie, I would love to start a school for training actors. Find the best professionals to do workshops. Go back to the ways of the Actors Studio with Lee Strasburg and train actors in the way of Great Britain.
What I need most is…. How to be able to feel love without fear mixed in. To make love without shutting down from the fear I learned when I was abused as a child and as an adult. To feel close to people who I love and who want to love me in return. To not replay the abuse when someone I am close to might trigger a behavior that feels like the way an abuser seduced me or made me feel.
I have been reading…. A great many books on Bipolar, literature, poetry, Anais Nin, Virginia Woolf. I love fantasy, and the mystical. My great passion are books on psychology, mysteries and psychological thrillers.
I have been watching… Lost. This series has me hypnotized. I watch my DVDs on my favorite series of all times, “Twin Peaks” by David Lynch. I watch films day and night, also. I love the classics. In the late 30s through the early 70s, that is when the best films were made.
I have been listening to…. Classical, folk, some pop, some rap, musical theatre, Celtic. Specific performers: Yo-Yo Ma,
My best characteristics are…. I am kind & gentle. I listen & try to understand people who need someone to listen to them. I am empathetic. I try to encourage & give support to other. I love animals more than any other creatures on the planet and care about them. I am an animal whisperer. I draw animals & people out who are withdrawn & feel unable to trust anyone.
My worst characteristics are… I lose my temper too easily & become irritable. My bipolar sets this behavior off in me. I withdraw from people. I am not sure if this is a characteristic but my feelings get hurt really easily & I am not very forgiving. I hate saying I am sorry. That has to do with my childhood.
My vices are… I don’t really have any now. I use to smoke, do drugs, drink coffee, swear, sexual often, spending too much money, got drunk, but I don’t do any of these now, except swearing but I don’t see that as a vice.
Politically I would describe myself as… Progressive. I want peace everywhere. I feel everyone should be taken care of & have their needs met in any way possible.
In terms of fashion and lifestyle I would describe myself as… Casual. Relaxed. Not into latest fashion. I like to be comfortable. Warm when it’s cold out. Cool when it is warm out.
I would like to learn… Several new languages. French, Spanish, Italian, Arabic, I would like to learn how to play the piano properly, not the way I know how to play it now. I would like to learn how to make a film that are computer generated animation with fantastic images.
My recent regrets are… Hurting someone I would never have wanted to hurt ever in my life.
My recent achievements are… Completing a screenplay that has been made into a film which is almost ready to be released to the theatre audience. Created a poetry collection that is due to be published very soon.
My message to myself is… I feel I am a good person. I love the people and animals I love and I let them know how I feel. I try to give myself a break for not being perfect. I need to be easier on myself for making mistakes. I need to stop being so hard on myself. I need to let myself be loved. Lastly, I want to tell myself it is okay to feel what it is like to be loved in all ways, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, physically and sexually. It is okay for me to let go of the abuse of the past and feel the generosity of love being given to me now without feeling scared to feel it and to share it and to return the love without fear.
How do you think I did, Annie? I thought I was pretty direct. Maybe a B+ for courage and an A+ for effort.
Maybe it’s time to change the subject. “Brief Sacrifice” feels like it is in order. I am sure you must be curious by now to find out what is in the Silver Box with absolutely not seems or ways of opening it up. It will take magic. James, Carter McLeod’s Savannah cat, he is the key to the Silver Box. It is up to him to perform a certain task. You must recall James is psychic. One of his many qualities.
Another one of His abilities is to cause objects to perform in ways contrary to their make-up and ability. In these cases, James needs to concentrate. In his mind, lies the key with the Power to make anything do what He wants it to do. How is James, a mere cat, going to know what is expected of him, you ask? Magic. He is filled with Magic.
Not the kind David Blaine or David Copperfield perform. They are smoke and mirrors.
James is of the Deeper Magic. The Magic that caused the world to be Created. Deeper, even more than that. It is the Magic which caused the Big Bang to occur. The kind that created the Universe and all the Stars, Planets, Solar Systems, Quarks, Black Holes, and Cosmos upon Cosmos. All that makes the Universe expand, divide and create Multi-verses. The Magic of Infinity, Reincarnation, Karma and Nirvana, Dragons and Mythical Creatures, once they were Real but they disappeared into the Ether. Yet, they exist still but only reveal themselves to those who have the power of the Seer. The Power of Sight.
James will be the catalyst to save humankind. He will open the door to All of Time. Nikola Tesla has created from the Deeper Magic, a gift for Humankind. Within the Silver Box, this gift has rested since Nikola Tesla gave the Silver Box to the old man. And now Carter McLeod is in possession of this Silver Box. It is up to Jackson Sharp to open the power within James, so he will be able to open the Silver Box. Once it is opened, the content will be revealed. But even then the Magic will not be revealed. The Magic is within the Gift in the Silver Box. It must be understood before the Magic can be awakened held within the Gift.
This is as far as we will go in this letter. Let your imagination follow these revelations. Find the path in which it leads. Eventually, all with be revealed. Patience is of the utmost importance in this matter.
Oh, my, the story within my script, within the film “Brief Sacrifice” is a wild ride. It has barely begun.
Till I see you next Tuesday and we discuss my survey and whatever else comes up, I am going to rest. And later, I may work on my latest screenplay. I will tell something about it when I am ready. It is at a stage when it needs to be between me and my computer screen.
Hope you will have a good week until I see you next week.
Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst
Somewhere In Time – John Barry
Tiger orchid #14 Robert Mapplethorp
“Dreaming In Chaos”
Narrative Haiku [5-7-7]
by Madison Taylor
Tuesday 15th April 2008
Dreaming in chaos
Two divided both broken
Friendship betrayed lost purpose
Claim broken is wrong
Trusting in truth essential
Comprehension not valid
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor
Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy
Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey
Snow Dragon with Woman — Digital Art by Eyu Letsana. Borrowed from The Dragon of the Month Post of MacKenzie’s Dragonsnest. Link below to Shawn MacKenzie’s, site and her post featuring the Snow Dragon.
These are some of the Illustrated Images of Mythical Creatures and Dragon to be featured in the Film “Brief Sacrifice.” They are key to aiding in Carter McLeod finding the secrets which eventually will need to be discovered in order to carry out the Friends of Nikola Tesla’s plans for the future of humankind.