Amazing Visions: “Awakening”

amazing visions

“Awakening”/New Zealand 4K

Post by Jennifer Kiley

Post Wednesday 23rd July 2014

 

Virgin territory. Never touched by humans. Pristine. Clarity. Movement of colors spectacular. The Celestial Heavens. The Awesomeness of the  Firmament. Breathtaking. Remember to Inhale. Who smokes that which gives one sight & doesn’t Inhale. That’s Sheer Waste. Martin Heck has the most Amazing Ability to capture magnificent images with Timelapse. He folds all together what has magically been collected to create a continuous Pure Visual Ecstasy for Sights Awakening Experience of Exalting Awesomeness.

“Awakening” | New Zealand – By Martin Heck – TIMESTORM FILMS

MARTIN HECK | TIMESTORM FILMS – EMOTIMO – DYNAMIC PERCEPTION

Part I/IV of a timelapse series through the always changing landscapes of New Zealand. Shot over 4 month, traveling through amazing landscapes, sleeping under the stars, hiking on mountains and exploring remote roads. Locations in this video where at Fjordland NP, Mount Cook NP and Arthurs Pass NP, Mavora Lakes and Lake Ohau.
Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/martinheck and Facebook: facebook.com/TimestormFilms
Official Website: timestormfilms.com

Soundtrack: “Science and Religion” by Hans Zimmer

4K/UHD Version available here: youtu.be/6D-A6CL3Pv8

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H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y T O S O M E O N E I T H I N K I K N O W

Fav Top Ten #2: The Americanization of Emily

taoe poster yellow rim
Fav Top Ten #2: The Americanization of Emily
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Illustrated by j. kiley
Commentary by Jennifer Kiley
Review by Bosley Crowther NYTimes
Post Created Wednesday 25th September 2013
Posted On Friday 27th September 2013
FILM FRIDAY
dedicated to roger ebert film friday
5 stars

IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS DO NOT READ THE CAPTIONS UNDER THE PHOTOGRAPHS. THEY TELL THE STORY AS IT UNFOLDS. I WROTE THEM FROM MEMORY FOR I HAVE SEEN THIS FILM SO MANY TIMES I HAVE THE SCRIPT WRITTEN INSIDE MY BRAIN. FOR ME IT DOESN’T SPOIL THE FILM KNOWING THE BASICS OF WHAT HAPPENS BUT I WOULD SUGGEST READING THE REVIEW & LOOKING AT THE PHOTOGRAPHS. IF YOUR ARE DRAWN INTO THE IDEA OF THIS STORY & FILM IT IS AVAILABLE THROUGH ROKU STREAMING ON VUDU, AMAZON, REDBOX STREAMING & IF SO ENTICED THE DVD IS AVAILABLE FOR SALE. ENJOY THE IMAGES, THE CLIPS AT THE END. CHECK OUT THE TRAILER AND CHECK OUT THE REVIEW. HOPE YOU ENJOY THEM ALL. JULIE ANDREWS & JAMES GARNER ARE EXTREMELY ROMANTIC IN THIS FILM. SO HIGHLY RECOMMEND FOR A DATE NIGHT. I LOVE THIS FILMS & GIVE IT #2 ON MY TOP TEN FAVORITE FILMS OF ALL TIME. IT ACTUALLY SHOULD BE TIED FOR FIRST PLACE. I SAW JULIE ANDREWS IN THIS FILM BEFORE I SAW MARY POPPINS & THE SOUND OF MUSIC. SO, THIS FILM WAS MY INTRODUCTION TO THE SEXY FAIR LADY. IN THIS FILM SHE IS SEXY, SPIRITED, AND GREAT. ENOUGH SAID. CARRY ON.

Emily driving Commander Charlie Madison back to the hotel after they collected supplies of food for his Admiral while they're staying London just near the time of D-Day WWII

Emily driving Commander Charlie Madison back to the hotel after they collected supplies of food for his Admiral while they’re staying London just near the time of D-Day WWII

The Americanization of Emily
Film Review by Bosley Crowther
Published October 28th 1964
NYTimes Emily (1964)

If you enjoy watching Julie Andrews playing a role in which she doesn’t sing, but in which she does make some beautiful music with a delightfully unheroic man, then nothing should deter you from going as swiftly as you can to see “The Americanization of Emily.”

Cmdr Madison saying goodnight to Ms Barham the first time she drove for him. He is about to give her a quick pat on the bottom which he receives his just rewards

Cmdr Madison saying goodnight to Ms Barham the first time she drove for him. He is about to give her a quick pat on the bottom which he receives his just rewards

Charlie faking an "old war wound" in order to ask Emily to join a dinner  &  bridge to entertain the Admiral & his special guest

Charlie faking an “old war wound” in order to ask Emily to join a dinner & bridge to entertain the Admiral & his special guest

Here is a film that not only gives the charming Miss Andrews a chance to prove herself irresistible in a straight romantic comedy but also gets off some of the wildest brashest and funniest situations and cracks at the lunacy of warfare that have popped from the screen in quite some time.

the-americanization-of-emily-movie-poster-1964

Emily is giving Charlie a hard time near the beginning of the film after his invitation to the dinner party

Emily is giving Charlie a hard time near the beginning of the film after his invitation to the dinner party

Indeed, when you think about it, you recognize the amazing fact that the comedy is as fascinating as the romance James Garner, the antihero has with his graceful female star.

Charlie has just told Emily she is a bit of a prig. Her response is I don't mean to be.

Charlie has just told Emily she is a bit of a prig. Her response is I don’t mean to be.

Emily talking with a fellow bunk mate who is changing her hair colour for the due as a guess for Charlie's dinner party. She tells Emily that Charlie throws together quite a spread.

Emily talking with a fellow bunk mate who is changing her hair colour for the due as a guess for Charlie’s dinner party. She tells Emily that Charlie throws together quite a spread.

James Garner plays the expert “dog robber” — aide to an American admiral dwelling in a luxury London hotel in 1944 who is head of a skillful and deadly satiric thrust at the whole myth of war being noble and that “to die a hero is a glorious thing.” And it is his taut and stalwart perseverance in acting an unregenerate coward that keynotes the yarn that Paddy Chayefsky has brilliantly adapted from a novel by William Bradford Huie.

the-americanization-of-emily-movie-poster-1964

Emily while lying on her bunk thinking, she asks her friend, "Do you think I am a bit of a prig." Her friend tells her she is.

Emily while lying on her bunk thinking, she asks her friend, “Do you think I am a bit of a prig.” Her friend tells her she is.

What Mr. Garner is expressing in this sharply outspoken film, which conceals the deadly point of its thesis within some mischievously nimble farce, is that the philosophy of pacifism is the highest morality and that wars will be abolished only when people stop thinking it is noble to fight. “So long as valor is a virtue, we will have soldiers,” he says in a speech in a scene with Julie Andrews and Joyce Grenfell as her mother. It is to discredit this virtue that his character takes the attitude that dead heroes are simply dead men, less fortunate or commendable than living cowards.

Emily begins talking about her passion for any wounded man in uniform. How her husband and her got married on his last night before he is shipped out and he goes and gets himself killed. She tries to comfort who come home wounded from battle.

Emily begins talking about her passion for any wounded man in uniform. How her husband and her got married on his last night before he is shipped out and he goes and gets himself killed. She tries to comfort who come home wounded from battle.

Emily shows up at the store where Charlie gives away goods like Hershey Bars, cloths, perfume and nylons. Things that are impossible to get over in Europe during WWII. Emily tell Charlie she would love to come for dinner & bridge. He offers her a dress. She refuses & tells him she has her own, she doesn't "need any Hershey Bars."

Emily shows up at the store where Charlie gives away goods like Hershey Bars, cloths, perfume and nylons. Things that are impossible to get over in Europe during WWII. Emily tell Charlie she would love to come for dinner & bridge. He offers her a dress. She refuses & tells him she has her own, she doesn’t “need any Hershey Bars.”

This philosophy at first shocks and initially repels the charming young English widow, a motor-pool driver, with whom he has an affair. But it even more seriously startles his gung-ho superiors when they start to execute their admiral’s orders, conceived to elevate the image of the Navy, that a sailor must be “the first dead man on Omaha Beach.”

Emily shows up in her gorgeous black dinner dress. Charlie is impressed & makes sure Emily know he is pleased.

Emily shows up in her gorgeous black dinner dress. Charlie is impressed & makes sure Emily know he is pleased. Before leaving for the night, Emily asks Charlie, “Do you have a woman?” His response, “Frankly, Ms. Barham that’s none of your business.”

the-americanization-of-emily-julie-andrews-james-garner-1964 poster

It is a tense and sensitive area into which the comedy finally gets as it wildly propels our cowardly hero toward a cross-Channel landing craft and a lonely spot on the Normandy beachhead with a movie camera in his hands.

Emily is in his room sitting on the bed when he returns from tucking the Admiral in for the night. As Charlie enters the room & sees Emily, he states, "As a matter of fact, I don't have a woman." They fall into each others arms on the bed. At some point, he starts talking again and Emily tells him, "Shut up and kiss me."

Emily is in his room sitting on the bed when he returns from tucking the Admiral in for the night. As Charlie enters the room & sees Emily, he states, “As a matter of fact, I don’t have a woman.” They fall into each others arms on the bed. At some point, he starts talking again and Emily tells him, “Shut up and kiss me.”

The Admiral moments before bursts into the bedroom & states, "The first man on Omaha Beach must be a sailor." Then just leaves. Emily and Charlie sit up fast  & stare in the direction of the open door. Emily says, "That was rather piquant, wouldn't you say?" Charlie says, "Yes, I would say that was rather piquant."

The Admiral moments before bursts into the bedroom & states, “The first man on Omaha Beach must be a sailor.” Then just leaves. Emily and Charlie sit up fast & stare in the direction of the open door. Emily says, “That was rather piquant, wouldn’t you say?” Charlie says, “Yes, I would say that was rather piquant.”

But this deadly touch does put a climax to the serious implications of the film and provides an opportunity for resolving the previously faltering romance.

pic emily and charlie in rain poster with title and a blue arm unzipping y

Emily introduces her mother to Charlie at a tea party at their house. Her mother is in mourning over the loss of her husband and son during the war. Charlie talks about his feelings about war & a story of his wife back home. Emily wants to know what wife but he gets into a talk on "war" & "cowardice." Emily discovers eventually about Charlie's wife being upset when he comes home unexpectedly, so the only Mrs. Madison is his mother who lost a son already in the war. There is a great deal more to the scene. There is a clip near the end of the post which shows some of this part of the film. A good taste.

Emily introduces her mother to Charlie at a tea party at their house. Her mother is in mourning over the loss of her husband and son during the war. Charlie talks about his feelings about war & a story of his wife back home. Emily wants to know what wife but he gets into a talk on “war” & “cowardice.” Emily discovers eventually about Charlie’s wife being upset when he comes home unexpectedly, so the only Mrs. Madison is his mother who lost a son already in the war. There is a great deal more to the scene. There is a clip near the end of the post which shows some of this part of the film. A good taste.

In addition to the splendid performances that Mr. Garner and Ms. Andrews give—his with an edge of crisp sarcasm, hers with a brush of sentiment—there is great acting by James Coburn as a swiveling “Annapolis man,” and Melvyn Douglas as the eccentric admiral.

Emily is looking on curiously. This is about the time he mentions his wife.

Emily is looking on curiously. This is about the time he mentions his wife.

Charlie is telling Mrs. Barham what he thinks about war heroes, war widows & glorifying the death that happens in war. She hears him & admits the death of her husband & eventually says that she will accept his Hershey Bars even if Emily won't.

Charlie is telling Mrs. Barham what he thinks about war heroes, war widows & glorifying the death that happens in war. She hears him & admits the death of her husband & eventually says that she will accept his Hershey Bars even if Emily won’t. She, also, thanks him for his honesty. It puts a whole new spirit inside of her. She tells he was kind. She hopes he will come again.

Also marvelous in small roles are Miss Grenfell, Keenan Wynn as a terrified man in uniform and Liz Frazer as a motor-pool driver who gladly accepts the Americans’ silk stockings and Hershey bars.

Charlie while on leave rows Emily out to an island to be alone & make love.

Charlie while on leave rows Emily out to an island to be alone & make love.

Emily tells Charlie he's a rogue but it seems she doesn't mind making love to one.

Emily tells Charlie he’s a rogue but it seems she doesn’t mind making love to one.

Under Arthur Hiller’s brisk direction of Mr. Chayefsky’s script, which includes some remarkably good writing with some slashing irreverence, “The Americanization of Emily” comes out a spinning comedy that says more for basic pacifism than a fistful of intellectual tracts. It also is highly entertaining, and it makes a great case for pure romance.

Emily continues by telling Charlie she feels they are basically incompatible & she hopes she doesn't get pregnant. He tells her later, "Oh, I do hope you do get pregnant."

Emily continues by telling Charlie she feels they are basically incompatible & she hopes she doesn’t get pregnant. He tells her later, “Oh, I do hope you do get pregnant.”

Charlie proposes. After which he says a speech which includes the line, "What is a lion doing in a man's home anyway. I would die for you, my family, my country, a world, in that order."

Charlie proposes. After which he says a speech which includes the line, “What is a lion doing in a man’s home anyway. I would die for you, my family, my country, a world, in that order.”

The Cast
THE AMERICANIZATION OF EMILY, screenplay by Paddy Chayefsky, based on the novel
by William Bradford Huie; directed by Arthur Hiller; produced by Martin Ranshoff.
Running time: 117 minutes.
Lieut. Charles E. Madison . . . . . James Garner
Emily Barham . . . . . Julie Andrews
Adm. William Jessup . . . . . Melvyn Douglas
Lieut. Comdr. “Bus” Cummings . . . . . James Coburn
Mrs. Barham . . . . . Joyce Grenfell
Adm. Thomas Healey . . . . . Edward Binns
Sheila . . . . . Liz Fraser
Old Sailor . . . . . Keenan Wynn
Capt. Harry Spaulding . . . . . William Windom
Chief Petty Officer Paul Adams . . . . . John Crawford
Capt. Marvin Ellender . . . . . Douglas Henderson
Admiral Hoyle . . . . . Edmond Ryan
Young Sailor . . . . . Steve Franken
Gen. William Hallerton . . . . . Paul Newlan
Lieut. Victor Wade . . . . . Gary Cockrell

The Americanization of Emily charlie in the rain unregenerately eating a hershey bar

Charlie's friend & fellow officer Bus cuts his orders to make a film of the first man on Omaha Beach is a sailor. The film for the Admiral, who is going just a bit crackers.  Charlie tells him he won't go.

Charlie’s friend & fellow officer Bus cuts his orders to make a film of the first man on Omaha Beach is a sailor. The film for the Admiral, who is going just a bit crackers. Charlie tells him he won’t go.

The Americanization of Emily Trailer

Emily drove Charlie to the plane to take him to the front line where they will take off in transport heading for Omaha Beach. They are saying there goodbyes. Charlie had given Emily the marriage papers. All she needs to do us sign them. But there is a hitch. He is all excited because he knows they are going to be late arriving. By the time they get there, everyone will have shipped off. But Bus is not aware of this. Emily doesn't find it funny. She finally tells Charlie, she can't marry him. She doesn't like the prank he is playing on his country. Charlie told Emily she is the coward. She can't stand the fact that he will come back alive. She prefers her men die in battle then she doesn't have to make real commitment. She tells Charlie, "I'm going to slap your face, Charlie." He tells her, "Go ahead, I'm a coward. I won't slap you back." This makes Emily furious. She gets to slap him a few times. Tears running down her face. But the rain covers her tears. Charlie says goodbye as he peals back the wrappings on his Hershey bar and states what is written on the poster. A great statement.

Emily drove Charlie to the plane to take him to the front line where they will take off in transport heading for Omaha Beach. They are saying there goodbyes. Charlie had given Emily the marriage papers. All she needs to do us sign them. But there is a hitch. He is all excited because he know they are going to be late arriving. By the time they get there, everyone will have shipped off. But Bus is not aware of this. Emily doesn’t find it funny. She finally tell Charlie, she can’t marry him. She doesn’t like the prank he is playing on his country. Charlie told Emily she is the coward. She can’t stand the fact that he will come back alive. She prefers her men in battle to die before she has to really make a commitment. She tells Charlie, “I’ll slap your face, Charlie.” He tells her, “Go ahead, I’m a coward. I won’t slap you back.” This makes Emily furious. She gets to slap him a few times. Tears running down her face. But the rain covers her tears. Charlie says goodbye as he peals back the wrappings on his Hershey bar and he states what is written on the poster above. A great statement.

Charlie was wrong. When they arrived D-Day had been postponed because of rain. They got drunk & the next day in a drunken state they were loaded on a transport, given cameras & on their way to Omaha Beach to shot the first man on Omaha Beach being a sailor.

Charlie was wrong. When they arrived D-Day had been postponed because of rain. They got drunk & the next day in a drunken state they were loaded on a transport, given cameras & on their way to Omaha Beach to shoot the first man on Omaha Beach being a sailor.

The Americanization of Emily [1964] “I Need A Girl” Clip

This is Charlie running up on Omaha Beach. The first sailor to arrive. Reason for this bravery is Bus was shooting at him. It's pure panic you see.

This is Charlie running up on Omaha Beach. The first sailor to arrive. Reason for this bravery is Bus was shooting at him. It’s pure panic you see.

The Americanization of Emily — “War Is Not Moral” Extended Clip

Emily is sad & numb. Her mother keeps burning the Daily papers. Bus shows up to pay his condolences & tells them the grand plan for Charlie. He is the first dead man on Omaha Beach & he is a sailor. The Admiral will have a statue erected for him. Mrs. Barham & Emily's reactions are "Why on Earth would do that. Isn't it bad enough he died. No, we must get on with our lives. Charlie wouldn't want any of this." Bus is confused. He thinks they should be proud Charlie's a hero but they are not going to celebrate Charlie's death & they feel Bus should stop all this nonsense.

Emily is sad & numb. Her mother keeps burning the Daily papers. Bus shows up to pay his condolences & tells them the grand plan for Charlie. He is the first dead man on Omaha Beach & he is a sailor. The Admiral will have a statue erected for him. Mrs. Barham & Emily’s reactions are “Why on Earth would you do that. Isn’t it bad enough he’s dead. No, we must get on with our lives. Charlie wouldn’t want any of this.” Bus is confused. He thinks they should be proud Charlie’s a hero but they are not going to celebrate Charlie’s death & they feel Bus should stop all this nonsense.

Julie Andrews & James Garner tribute — Clips from “The Americanization of Emily

Americanization of Emily the film shows the absurdities of war

Charlie I back from the dead and Emily has been flown to the location by the Admiral to go meet him.

Charlie comes back from the dead and Emily has been flown to the location by the Admiral to go meet him. But this is not the complete ending.

Flowers Song and Poetry

Flowers Song and a Poem
Post Created by Jennifer Kiley
Poem Written by Henry David Thoreau
Created Thursday 29th August 2013
Posted Saturday 31th August 2013
Poetry Out Loud

Dedicated to a Special Friend Who Has Met the Trials of Life Head On

flowers yellow white pinkish with green background of leaves for niamh

Friendship

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,
Love is to me a world,
Sole meat and sweetest drink,
And close connecting link
Tween heaven and earth.

I only know it is, not how or why,
My greatest happiness;
However hard I try,
Not if I were to die,
Can I explain.

I fain would ask my friend how it can be,
But when the time arrives,
Then Love is more lovely
Than anything to me,
And so I’m dumb.

For if the truth were known, Love cannot speak,
But only thinks and does;
Though surely out ’twill leak
Without the help of Greek,
Or any tongue.

A man may love the truth and practise it,
Beauty he may admire,
And goodness not omit,
As much as may befit
To reverence.

But only when these three together meet,
As they always incline,
And make one soul the seat,
And favorite retreat,
Of loveliness;

When under kindred shape, like loves and hates
And a kindred nature,
Proclaim us to be mates,
Exposed to equal fates
Eternally;

And each may other help, and service do,
Drawing Love’s bands more tight,
Service he ne’er shall rue
While one and one make two,
And two are one;

In such case only doth man fully prove
Fully as man can do,
What power there is in Love
His inmost soul to move
Resistlessly.

______

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,
Withstand the winter’s storm,
And spite of wind and tide,
Grow up the meadow’s pride,
For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined
Down to their deepest source,
Admiring you shall find
Their roots are intertwined
Insep’rably.

Henry David Thoreau

lady butterfly painted green back ground

Easy To Be — Prospecta featuring Lila Goldie

http://russelrayphotos2.com/2013/08/30/top-10-reasons-for-adopting-a-dog-from-second-chance-dog-rescue/ If you want to rescue a dog check this site out.

Gatsby’s Story Will Never Be Over

Gatsby’s Story Will Never Be Over
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Photographs by Shawn MacKenzie
Post Created Tuesday 30th July 2013
Posted On Wednesday 31st July 2013
[born] Gatsby 2011 [died FIP] 29th July 2013

Gatsby-mum  to Poe  Parker  Carter  three kittens born 22nd April 2012

Gatsby-mum to Poe Parker Carter three kittens born 22nd April 2012

My meeting Gatsby for the first time was a wake up surprise. Shawn walked in while I was sleeping. Told me she had a surprise. I had wanted another kitten after our wonderful Spootiepaws died a short while back from cancer. Her death broke my heart. She was there with me in the late nights of writing and creating.

Gatsby with a promising look. We were going to love her and give her home for the rest of her life.  668x504

Gatsby with a promising look. We were going to love her and give her home for the rest of her life.

When I woke up, Shawn placed a cat carrier on the bed, opened it up and out jumped Gatsby. Of course, that wasn’t her name then. She was so affectionate, wanting to be pet over and over, rubbing both our hands, Shawn’s and mine. I have never seen such enthusiasm of love be so demonstrative immediately, seconds after meeting me.

Gatsby relaxing 951x772

Gatsby relaxing

What a surprise. I estimated her to be about 6 to 8 mos old. A kitten in all her playfulness. Surprise! I was so happy to have another member to our family and felt such immediate love for her.

gatsby6

Now we have a naming process in our home. We keep saying out names, seeing if they fit. We make lists. Give them time to sink in. Rate the names in a hierarchy. I am an avid F. Scott Fitzgerald fan and I love his book The Great Gatsby. Now you have to know we name all out animals, particularly cats with the first letter of “S” — it’s a peculiarity or eccentricity.

gatsby5

Confusing at times when you go to call one of them in particular. We have Sanji, Soyer, Spike, Sigmund, and Schroeder. We did have a Stuart Vincent Little, who lived a full life, and mentioned Spootiepaws earlier. Our parrot is named Saki, also. We do have a degue named Squeak and two chinchillas named Sagan and Sundance.

Sanji-an ally amongst the rest. Acted like a big brother.  Watched out for the wee ones.

Sanji-an ally amongst the rest. Acted like a big brother. Watched out for the wee ones.</em>

We went off course, though, when Gatsby arrived. We broke with tradition. Somehow, Gatsby’s name came up. I’m sure from both Shawn and myself. The rest of the list is gone from my mind now. I use to call her momma, or mother. She was like NaNa in Peter Pan. She kept us all in line. And she really did rule like a protective mother. She only let Sanji downstairs for the first months of her kittens lives. But I am getting ahead too soon.

On April 16th 2012 we found out from the vet Gatsby was pregnant

On April 16th 2012 we found out from the vet Gatsby was pregnant

We felt after a week the vet should give her a once over for her health. When Shawn got home she told me the “good” news (to me it was) and Shawn just wasn’t so sure about that idea. She wanted to give the kittens away after they were born and old enough to leave home.

Gatsby looking very pregnant

Gatsby looking very pregnant

I pouted. No way. I was going to do that. We came to a compromise eventually, I would let one of the kittens go to another home. (Secretly, no way was that going to happen.) Shawn didn’t want that either after we got the contest going for the kittens, when would they be born and how many. Niamh Clune won the when and I won the how many.

First day babies were born April 22nd 2012

First day babies were born April 22nd 2012

In the middle of the night on the softness and cushiness of the bed, Gatsby went into labor on April 22nd 2012. OMG the sound shattered glass. We both, Shawn and I, sat around Gatsby, trying to reassure her and assist in anyway possible. With each birth, the pain diminished. She was so efficient cleaning up each one immediately after they were born. All three were so tiny and so adorable.

Gatsby and kits sleeping on mat in new bathroom with sun shining in on them. They loved that spot   684x516

Gatsby and kits sleeping on mat in new bathroom with sun shining in on them. They loved that spot

This was the perfect moment to put in my pleas. We have to keep them. We were for one brief moment going to give the orange one with the most white away. No way. Not if either of us had a say. We gave them names. So they would start out life with some sort of individual identity.

Gatsby clan snuggling  676x849

Gatsby clan snuggling

The only old name that I recall was Scout. Scout became Carter aka Sparky & for a short while a nickname of Spanky. But now he is the Little Prince Carter. And we were going to choose him to be the one to give away.

Babies and Gatsby snuggling on floor in living room

Babies and Gatsby snuggling on floor in living room

I fell in love with them all, but most of all, I fell in love and so did Shawn, with Carter, the smallest and the grandest of Gatsby’s children. Carter has a posture like someone Oscar Wilde would write about in a play as a grand character. We never did give any away even though some people kept wanting to take Carter.

Baby Carter in his first box by himself

Baby Carter in his first box by himself

He was our charmer. He will always be our charmer. The sweetest of natures ever to be present in a Little Prince of Orange and some white. The eyes melt your heart. Carter’s eyes are so soulful. He was the slow starter, so he had to fight harder to do everything.

Prince Carter attempting to wink as he is sitting proud and brave in his favorite cat carrier.  766x577

Prince Carter attempting to wink as he is sitting proud and brave in his favorite cat carrier.

They all loved their mother intensely. The other two were given the fine names of Poe (b/c I am a Poe addict) and Parker, for the many Parkers, i.e Dorothy Parker.

Poe is 2 1/2 months old

Poe is 2 1/2 months old

Carter was named after a Wendy Wasserstein character in her play Uncommon Women. They may be names of woman but they are manly names just the same even if the boys are just so sweet. Carter is definitely metro-sexual.

Babies with Gatsby snuggling. Carter is the one with the white on top in center

Babies with Gatsby snuggling. Carter is the one with the white on top in center

Parker is the tough outer skin but with gentleness inside.

Parker with Sundance one of our chinchillas

Parker with Sundance one of our chinchillas

Poe is the super-demonstratively-most-affectionate kitten of them all. He could be pet for days and he would not want you to ever stop.

Poe at 3 1/2 months

Poe at 3 1/2 months

For the first month of their life there regular spot was usually with Mom Gatsby or on my lap or chest, sleeping soundly. Now I thought that would instill there wanting to continue the tradition when they got older, Nope. They like to sleep on beds and feet but no laps except Gatsby and that lap was Shawn’s. I rather tried to protect the egregiously overlooked cats that Gatsby confined to upstairs. So we were always having a struggle with balancing insecurities and tempers. I loved Gatsby and wanted her to love me.

Gatsby clan snuggling  785x592

Gatsby clan snuggling

Then there was the first night I was left to babysit. The kittens were maybe just over a week old at the time. Gatsby was feeding them on the bed on the first floor. Shawn was at her writers group. All was going well. I kept an eye on them while I made myself a pasta dinner. I put the sauce on in the microwave. Homemade, my own recipe. The water was boiling. In with the pasta and salt. I went back and forth to be sure all was okay with the kits and mom.

Gatsby being gutsy hiding the babies while I wasn't looking. Who Me.   681x607

Gatsby being gutsy hiding the babies while I wasn’t looking. Who Me.

Well, I left the room one too many times. A 15 second stir of the pasta so it wouldn’t stick ended up with me entering the room they were cozy in. Surprise! They were GONE. DISAPPEARED. OMG!!! I looked and listened for sound of any kind. Gatsby hid the kittens. WHERE??? I was starting to get just a touch frantic looking every place possible. Called Shawn, got her cell – voice mail – left frantic message – COME HOME RIGHT AFTER WRITERS GROUP ENDED — KITTENS MISSING. That was the vocal message. No response so I sent an urgent text. Still no response.

Privacy Please

I united pasta to sauce and put in a covered dish and proceeded to look for the little guys some more. Finally, I found them. They were as far out of reach as possible behind my reclining chair, which was kitten proofed. It was a dangerous spot to crawl into and impossible to get anyone out from under. Thank goodness we foresaw that possibility.

Gatsby so proud of herself. I couldn't eat until I found her hiding place  784x591

Gatsby so proud of herself. I couldn’t eat until I found her hiding place

Ok, how was I going to get them out? I couldn’t reach with my arms. Too deep. Way back. Smart. I thought they are sleeping on a towel we placed behind there where the cats liked to sleep. I tried easing the towel out. No luck. A cane. A wooden cane. I used it ever so gingerly and was able to retrieve each kitten one at a time. Keep in mind, once I had a kitten, I could not put him down or Gatsby would take him someplace else to hide.

Gatsby Parker and Poe  882x665

Gatsby Parker and Poe

Eventually, I had collected them all. Never even woke up. So here I am with an arm full of kittens. I could actually hold them all in one hand if held against my body. I got my food. By now it was cold spaghetti. Not bad. With the kittens asleep in my left hand I placed the pasta bowl on my lap and with one hand, my right, I eat my dinner very carefully. It tasted good and I was hungry after all that excitement. It wasn’t over though.

Gatsby nursing kids. That's what she wanted to do so I told her she could get in my lap and do it there. She took me up on the offer while I ate and we all waited for Shawn to return   796x600

Gatsby nursing kids. That’s what she wanted to do so I told her she could get in my lap and do it there. She took me up on the offer while I ate and we all waited for Shawn to return

Gatsby kept wanting to take the kittens away from me, but I wasn’t about to let her hide them again. Told her if she wanted to, she could climb onto my lap and feed them while I held her and the kittens. She seemed to like this idea. Told her I wasn’t letting them go until Shawn got home and set up a deep box behind my reclining chair, with lots of soft cloth to make a bed. Gatsby could have her space and keep her kittens safe in that place and after all she was the one who chose it.

Gatsby clan snuggling  785x592

Gatsby clan snuggling

Well, to come to an end of this saga, Shawn did just that after she got home. I relayed the story to her. So that is where the kittens spent most of their sleeping and nursing time. Only one entrance that Gatsby had to protect. They came out several times a day to be held and socialized with us and the other cats when Gatsby would allow them to come near her charges.

Bungalow for Gatsby clan. They sacked out here often  656x584

Bungalow for Gatsby clan. They sacked out here often

The rest of the story was all about balancing the hierarchy and trying to stop aggression between who was going to protect who. Sanji was Gatsby’s ally. He is a very large Black Maine Coon mix.

Sanji the big brave Big Brother and Protector for Gatsby to keep her babies Poe Parker and Carter safe and give her reassurance

Sanji the big brave Big Brother and Protector for Gatsby to keep her babies Poe Parker and Carter safe and give her reassurance

No one messes with him so that meant no on messed with the kits and mom. But she actually took care of any transgressions herself. She was one fierce M*ther F@#ker. I wouldn’t want her mad at me.

Gatsby with Poe Parker and Carter looking right at you   1036x780

Gatsby with Poe Parker and Carter looking right at you

Eventually, all settled down and everyone could come and go except Soyer. She was constantly in a state of WTF. She didn’t know when to feel safe. We tried to reassure her. I was on her side and Gatsby was with Shawn. Soyer was originally a stray wild kitten that Shawn gave me as a coming home present from the hospital. It took her a long while to catch her and bring her inside.

Gatsby clan on stove vent  815x633

Gatsby clan on stove vent

Now that Gatsby is no longer with us, Soyer is the only beneficiary. I am sure she will not miss the animosity. But the rest of us feel her loss in a painful and really sad and tearful way. She gave us the present of Carter-Poe & Parker, who I sometimes like to call Patrick. I have odd nicknames for a lot of the animals. They respond so they don’t seem to mind.

Carter and Gatsby loved hanging out in the basket on top of the degues habitat

Carter and Gatsby loved hanging out in the basket on top of the degues habitat

It is awfully quiet in our home today. The fans are off but it’s more then that. A huge spirit that embodied so much love. I was always trying to win her favour. Always doing special things for her. I wanted her to love me and I believe if given more time she would have come around and realized just how much I loved her. On the first day, I was and she was able to show that affection and love. But now she is gone and I will never get to know her as well as I would have wanted to. I gave her a lot of affection over the last days of her life and she let me. I would try to every other day before that but she was being stubborn. But I just kept trying. I am a very determined female, just as she was.

Prince Carter will be the wise and guide his brothers through. He may be the last born and the latest to develop but he is filled with soul and heart. 848x638

Prince Carter will be the wise one and guide his brothers through. He may be the last born and the latest to develop but he is filled with soul and heart. He is the chosen one. The one that will work together with Sanji to guide the clan as Gatsby watches over us to be sure all goes well.

Prince Carter of Wisdom and Truth. This young boy is one of the three gifts Gatsby gave to us. She would want us to keep him safe along with his brothers Poe and Parker. She came to us for a home and we gave it to her and in return she gave us the blessings of love in the highest scores possible.

Losing her and losing so many of our animals is so painful but it doesn’t stop us from opening our home to a kitty who needs a good home, food and love. And some little critters that are in need, also.

Escape Into the Unknown — Remember When It Rained
Gatsby you came to us from out of the freezing rain and scary night to escape from the storms and you found a home filled with love for you. It may have been a short time but your stay with us was an experience of life and love. A place to leave your charges where they will be safe and well looked after for all of their lives. This we promised you when you came into our family, your family, and your children, our children’s family. You will always be with us in their hearts as they have their adventures in life. They will always know love and care. Most important they will have a family who will cherish them forever as we cherished you and they adored and loved you. You were the best mum ever a kitten could have been so lucky to be born to.

This story was for you Gatsby. I just wanted you to know how much we shared even if you didn’t let on you knew that already. I am going to miss you. Your kids are going to wonder where is their mom. Why did she just disappear? And Shawn’s heart is broken because once again she has been robbed of being able to have her tortoiseshell cat that she’s always wanted to love. It seems they are always taken away from her long before its time for them to go.

Sorry Shawn.

Gatsby with a promising look. We were going to love her and give her home for the rest of her life.  668x504

Gatsby with a promising look. We were going to love her and give her home for the rest of her life.

Goodbye Gatsby. We have all your music videos and photos that Shawn took and made. You will always be remembered. Your little guys will keep your memory alive probably for the rest of their lives and ours. Love is what we will always feel for you and we will take great care of your kids for you. You know we have always loved them and we will love them and you forever.

Love, Jennifer
One of Two of Gatsby’s Mothers…
@>-;— play with all of our other charges. I am sure they will welcome you with open arms and lots of stories and lots of time to play forever until we someday can join you all.

In Memory of Gatsby — Created by Jennifer Kiley
The Swan from the Carnival of Animals — Yo-Yo Ma

The following is a treat for all of Gatsby’s Kids. They love their TV Set. I thought I would show some samplings from the viewing that they do on it. A few still shots and a video of the entertainment. I think Gatsby would approve. She enjoy this program herself. In Memory of Gatsby I present the Tuck and Gonzo Show. Stay Tuned.

Tuck and Gonzo, the exotic in orange and the darker one wild. They are the kittens TV, especially Parker and Poe. Carter is not as interested.

Tuck and Gonzo, the exotic in orange and the darker one wild. They are the kittens TV, especially Parker and Poe. Carter is not as interested.

tuck and gonzo 4

tuck and gonzo 3

tuck and gonzo 2

tuck and gonzo 1

Mice running on wheel having fun while being a TV Set for some cute adorable kittens, almost cats.

Just A Spoonful of Sugar

Just A Spoonful of Sugar
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Created 24th July 2013
Posted On Wednesday 24th July 2013
Lightness of Being

The-Sound-of-Music-gif-julie-andrews-in abbey after getting back from mtn top

My first moments seeing Julie Andrews. She was doing a marvelously funny concert at Carnegie Hall with Carol Burnett by her side. This was 1962. It was love at first sight and my love affair began. I have seen every film that Julie has ever made. Before video and DVD, when I was a kid I would go to Mary Poppins as often as possible. It was fortunate my grandfather loved the film. He would go with me. I was way too young to go by myself.

The-Sound-of-Music-gif-julie-andrews-coming back from honeymoon

But it was actually The Americanization of Emily that really brought out my feelings of a true attraction to Julie when she was portraying the character of Ms. Emily Barham, a driver for the American soldiers over in England during WWII. She met a Lt. Commander Charles Madison and with a spake on the bottom from him and a slap in his face for doing that, it was love at first site.

julie-andrews AofE going to kiss james garner

They just didn’t know it. Madison was played by James Garner. This film cemented it for me with my crush on Julie. I could barely breath whenever I looked at her or heard her voice.

julie in AofE party playing bridge

Imagine how I felt when I saw The Sound of Music. The song Edelweiss, when it was sung by the captain and Maria was standing in the corner. My breathing stopped. I think I held my breath through that scene every time it was on the screen.

torn curtain-gif-julie-andrews-

This film is the record breaking film of all times of the most watched film by me while it was still in a theatre. I easily over my life have watched The Sound of Music over 125 times. And as far as the Soundtrack to the film, I wore out more LPs than I recall and tapes and now CDs. I even now have it on MP3. I am a committed fan.

julie SOM

That is why I have brought you a great piece of music with Julie Andrews singing a duet with her pal Carol Burnett of a variety of show tunes from Broadway Shows. To follow that, I have the basic musical and a few talking scenes from Mary Poppins, followed by a 6 part collection of videos of the making of Mary Poppins. [the 6 part collection of the Making of Mary Poppins was just too much for one post, so I have decided to do a dedication to Julie and Blake Edwards on FILM FRIDAY on 26th June 2013, it would be Blake's Birthday.]

julie striking in black dress

It is a delight to listen and watch all of this assortment of entertainment. I do hope you enjoy them all or maybe just listen to your favorites, if you have any. I know there are a great many Julie Andrews fans out there and definitely Mary Poppins fans. Relax. Press play and enjoy. If you want to write or create or just listen, feel free. A love letter to Julie Andrews. From Jennifer Kiley @>-;–

julie-andrew AofM emily laughing on grow rolling

julie-andrews beach on barbados in tamarind seed

julie-andrews blake edwards getting married
Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews Getting Married

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp reaching into carpet bag

Julie & Carol at Carnegie Hall – History of Musical Comedy

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-MP the look

Sister Suffragette—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp turning

The Perfect Nanny—Mary Poppins—Jane & Michael

MarywithBanks and childrens letter

The Nanny Flying Scene—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-MP up the stairs

Spoonful of Sugar—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

Mary-Poppins with robin on finger spoonful of sugar

Love To Laugh—Mary Poppins—Ed Wynn & Co.

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews spoonful

Mary Poppins: “I Never Explain Anything”

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews the look 1

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp michael jane

Feed the Birds—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

Mary Poppins

Stay Awake—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

mary poppins bert michael jane on roof

Chim-chiminey—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews & Dick Van Dyke

Mary_Poppins_(1964) smiling  crop

Let’s Go Fly a Kite—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins on cloud waiting for the call with carpet bag parrot umbrella

Julie Andrews Winning Oscar for Best Actress in Mary Poppins

mp poster with oscar win 4 julie

Sometimes You Just Feel Invisible

a divider for post no. 5 love fav new one thinner

Sometimes You Just Feel Invisible
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrations of Family Companion Animals
Photographs by Shawn MacKenzie
Post Created Wednesday 17th July 2013
Posted On Saturday 20th July 2013
X-Treme Haiku Saturday

Schroeder-the Jekyll & Hyde of Cats-kisses & snuggles switching instantaneously to bites & growls. And then there's Saki-our Amazon Parrot-my protector-she bites me when she thinks I am in danger. OUCH!!! One of her satisfactions is when she imitates Snoopy on his Sopwith Camel dive-bombing The Red Baron-in this instance replace TRB with Shawn-cannot get near me when Saki is sitting on my shoulder or near me in anyway. A true love/hate relationship with Shawn who gives her peanut treats whenever Saki asks. Now look at the love between S & S. It is a labour of love. In this photograph, Saki has only just started to fly over to us. Her life before us was trauma filled & neglect. Loved Shawn first but switched over to me. Now we are symbiotic & copacetic & share everything-Food & Love & Snuggles & I get a Heroic Protector who sleeps/sits on me when I write or doing anything at all. A Love Note for My Two Favorite Cuddlers.  1280x960

Schroeder-the Jekyll & Hyde of Cats-kisses & snuggles switching instantaneously to bites & growls. And then there’s Saki-our Amazon Parrot-my protector-she bites me when she thinks I am in danger. OUCH!!! One of her satisfactions is when she imitates Snoopy on his Sopwith Camel dive-bombing The Red Baron-in this instance replace TRB with Shawn-cannot get near me when Saki is sitting on my shoulder or near me in anyway. A true love/hate relationship with Shawn-who gives her peanut treats whenever Saki asks. Now look at the love between S & S. It is a labour of love. In this photograph-Saki has only just started to fly over to us. Her life before us was trauma filled & neglect. Loved Shawn first but switched over to me. Now we are symbiotic & copacetic. We share everything-Food-Love & Snuggles. I get an Heroic Protector who sleeps/eats/sits/snuggles/dances on me when I write or do anything. A Love Note for My Two Favorite Cuddlers. Kisses-Jk [One of Their Two Mums] ps. I am not Invisible to them. They need me as I need them & want me in their lives.

Sometimes You Just Feel Invisible
By Jennifer Kiley
17th July 2013

Sometimes you just feel
Invisible no sight no
Depth of shape no dimensions

Vision forward moves
Past forgotten locked in lost
Memories committed done

Frozen locked in time
Tripping tricking psyche deep
Confusion delusions thoughts

Trapping murderers
Vanquish shadows’ reflection
Innocence stolen destroyed

Perversion alive
Evil plans continue then
New images prevailing

Subconscious nightmares
Dreams retold when awakened
Bulldozers crashing breaking

Home protects safe place
Breathe panic out with symptoms
Expand light growing healing

© Jk 2013

Lakme-Delibes: Flower Duet — Joan Sutherland
Combining Art With Love
— Music Video — All Digital Art Created by Jennifer Kiley

a divider for post no. 5 love fav new one thinner

Private Writings: Chapter #17 — Infatuation to Fantasy

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013
Private Writings: Chapter #17 — Infatuation to Fantasy
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Intro and First Letter Published March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted 9th July 2013
WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Private Writings: Chapter #17 — Infatuation to Fantasy

Tuesday, January 22nd, 2008

Dear Annie,

Tales of my history has been greatly exaggerated. Not really. I never talk about it. Once I made the mistake of making a list of sex partners. I do not include abusers, pedophiles. That wasn’t sex. It had nothing to do with sex. They were all about abuse, power and control. Overpowering a child, what the fuck is that. You really are showing your sexual prowess. Not really. More like your sexual impotency and powerlessness. There is nothing in me feeling empathy for a pedophile. They are are lower than the scum on scum of the scum of the earth.

I made the list. Don’t we all. If not on paper, at least in our heads. Mine, I needed to write down, otherwise, I would lose count. The length or number of partners is created by a mix of sexual abuse and bipolar hyper-sexuality. Which when I look back and compare behavior with symptoms I am aware of today, match up perfectly with a combination of complex-PTSD and Bipolar competing in a challenge. Results are, who can create the most havoc, do the most damage and instill the most shame.

I am a card carrying lesbian. It has nothing to do with my abuse, bipolar or not getting love from my mother, father or anyone in my family except one. So when sex officially starts for me, on the record, my earlier male sex partners, I promise this could be a long story, but right to the point, I will state, all turned out to be gay. It is funny if you think about it. My abusers were from both sexes, all qualify as pedophiles but I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of considering or registering them as gay or lesbian. Being gay or lesbian is an honour. I would include in this group, transsexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, pansexuals, and even our friendly heterosexuals.

Excluded are homophobic-sexuals, fundamentalist-sexuals, evangelical-sexuals, westboro southern baptist-hatred-sexuals, tea bagger-sexuals, homophobic-homosexuals-in-the-closet-sexuals-who-hate-homosexuals & pass-laws-to-make- homosexuality-or-any-sexuality-illegal-hate-women’s-rights-sexuals, and chicken-shit-republicans-who-haven’t-the-guts-or-balls-to-stand-up-to-the-mother-fuckers. This may not cover all of them but touches on some of the basic haters of anything sexual. Ah, one more inclusive group, those-who-think & feel-they-have-the-rights-over-womens-bodies & can-do-what-they-want-including-mutilation-murder-&-honour-killing-mother-fuckers.

Now back to something pleasant. My first gay bar, I ran into a guy I went to college with and yes we did the euphemism of sleeping together. We had sex. We worked on the college paper. He was my top editor when I was editor-in-chief. Now, back to the present. Here comes the stupid question. “What are you doing here?” He laughed, with his shit eating grin. “Are you kidding?” was his reply. “The same thing you are.”

Now how stupid am I. We were both there. It was a gay and lesbian bar. Dancing and booze, drugs on the down-low. Pretty much everyone was stoned out of their fucking minds on weed, poppers, hallucinogens, anything available. It was floating around the room or outside, you could find clusters smoking grass or hash. Before crack, thank you very much. All we wanted was a safe place to enjoy our major attractions, the same sex.

My buddy from college talked with me a long time that night. Found out the strangest things in our conversation. Turned out, he slept with the same guy I called my toker smoker sex buddy. With him I had a basic arrangement. He supplied the music, the smoke, the place and I would supply the sex. Not knowing about the bipolar proclivity to hyper-sexuality back then, I would safely say now I fell deeply into the category of someone who was hyper-sexual. It may have been the wrong sex but it was a need I had to satisfy. Never liked it, but did it anyway. Felt nothing. That’s not totally honest. Once, when I had the top, I got a major surprise. That was the first and only time ever. When you’ve being raped that position isn’t something rapists use. When he is fucking you he wants to see the damage he is causing and the power he is wielding.

I need a good, no, a great psychoanalyst. You, Annie. Dr. George is not long for my world. When he’s gone, I need you. He needs to disappear. Gone. Cleansed from my brain. Then I start new with you. You need to come through for me. Please.

Maybe a change of subject is needed. I don’t want to think about him or his fucking prick. I want to talk about something else. Someone else. Sarah. Her presence almost gave me a heart attack. What the fuck was he thinking springing her on the group. Don’t misunderstand. I want her there, Oh, most definitely. When she started talking, I could barely breath. My eyes were on her. Her voice, her hair, the colour of her eyes, so blue, every feature. I time traveled. Then those words she spoke. Nearly fell on the floor. She announced, “I am a lesbian.” At that very moment I fell in love. It’s not like she wasn’t looking at me with something special in her own eyes. I would swear she was flirting with me like she knew me.

What the fuck came over me. She’s so familiar. I know her. I’m sure of it. But my brain has amnesia. Why is she so fucking familiar? And another thing, I can’t seem to stop swearing. My anger is seething through every pore. I want to punch someone, I am so angry. I think it’s this film we’re working on. Scottie’s always away. I hate that.

I’m going to change the subject for a moment. I think it’s time to tell you the title of our film. I came up it one night. It just floated from my subconscious when I was talking with Scottie. I just said, “Stop! I got it. The film’s name is “Brief Sacrifice.” Tell me that isn’t cool, Scottie.” She liked it. Then she fell in love with the title. But, damn it, it’s taking Scottie away all the time now. There have been some weird problems. I think there’s a curse on the film. That damned briefcase.

You will never guess how the main character got it open. Before I tell you part of the secret, I think you need to know the main character’s name. I told you the title, I might as well fill you in on some other details, Her name, which I feel is quite brilliant of me and Scottie did help. In fact, she helped a lot. She said, she liked the name I decided on. After throwing out names I found online for hours. I found it. Her name is Carter McLeod. She’s British and simply divine. The films takes place in London, mostly, and a few other places. But not going there yet. Now isn’t that the coolest name. I see a future for her. Carter McLeod. I just love the sound of it. And now, I know you will want to know who’s playing Carter McLeod. Scottie decided on one of my favorite new British actors. Try to guess. I’ll give you a hint. She was nominated for a BAFTA for Best Actress in 2007. Yes, she was. She should have won. I think she was robbed. I can’t even remember who beat her. Let me put you out of your misery. My all time favorite actor right now. It’s Jamie Stansfield. I just dream about her. Beautiful, androgynous and sexy. Knowing she is playing the character I wrote is such a satisfying feeling. It’s sure to draw a huge audience. But back to what’s going on with that damned briefcase.

There is a secret pocket hidden on the surface of the leather. Undetectable. But Carter just kept running her hands over the surface, feeling for anything unusual. It’s like she were psychic. She found a thin line, like an old scar. It didn’t happen right away. Finding it, you would think was the difficult part. No, it wasn’t. How to get underneath the surface of the skin of the case, that was a whole other nightmare. That’s for next time I write.

I gave you the character’s name, and told you who the actor is playing the part. She really is great. Whenever I was on the set during the filming, I couldn’t believe Scottie got her to sign the contract. But Scottie can charm anyone, she’s so gorgeous and radiant, such a subtle quiet charm. Plus Scottie Andrews has the director’s touch, and everyone knows it, and wants to work with her. She melts everybody who meets, female and male, but hands off, she’s mine. I’ll scratch anyone’s eyes out that try to come between us.

It just came to me. I must be losing my mind. I just realized who Sarah is. Damned idiot, I am. She’s Sarah Prentice. She made at least two films with Scottie. She’s acted the words I’ve written. Oh, my god, how the hell could I forget who she is. She looks so much like Tosh. Like they were twins. You do know who Alison Porter is, right? No one breathed a word. I know they were recent films. My short term memory is too fucked up. The films haven’t been released yet. That’s why. Post-production. Scottie works on so many films. I can’t keep track. Even if I’m the one writing them. Once in her hands, I only check in when rewrites are needed. I do like some of the sets but not great about being around people. And when they’re famous, the crowds gather and that really freaks me out. Usually stay home and Skype or email the changes. Talk on Skype with Scottie all the time that way. Holy, shit. Sarah Prentice. I am in love with her.

You did know who Tosh was.Sarah is so much like her. Tosh was a singer. She composed her own music. It was so poetic. The lyrics crushed your heart. Where she found that pain. I only knew her such a short time. I never mentioned why we met or how. At least, I don’t think I did. Scottie approached her about using some of her music in one of her films. I keep saying her films. I feel they are our films. If she didn’t have my story and words, there wouldn’t be a film. I digress. Sorry. Scottie contacted Tosh’s manager or one of her people did. But Scottie talked directly with Tosh. They hit it off. She liked Scottie’s films. Anyway, Scottie invited her to our home for dinner. Over champagne, tokes of smoke, and great Italian cuisine, we both fell in love with her. Now, don’t worry about Scottie. Tosh was someone special but I wasn’t going to ever leave Scottie for anyone, no matter what I felt. Tosh, though, she tore my heart out. I was so in love. It was so special. She didn’t want sex. She wanted to show me what love was. Scottie is shy and she loves me but it wasn’t the same thing.

How do I explain when you meet a soul mate that you’ve known through a hundred lifetimes. That was Tosh. Scottie and I are new in our life times. We debated in past lives. Like great philosophers who could never convince the other of their conclusions as being the one that had the right answers or at least, the most accurate of conclusions. We were philosophers together. Tosh was Sappho. She was the lover of women. She knew the melody, the poetry, how to tenderly touch inside your soul, without ever touching any part of your flesh. She respected my restrictions. Her sensitivity picked up my reluctance to have physical contact. Scottie, also, understood that restriction. We did make love, Scottie and I, but I always had to stop. It just freaked me out. Scottie promised she could accept that from me. She would never force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. It’s just that, I can’t do anything.

Tosh reached me in other ways. I wrote about her kiss. It was light as a butterfly on your naked skin. It didn’t threaten. It was as far away from forceful as one could find. She wrote music for me. I listen to it all the time. It is part of the memory that I have left of her.

I am tired. This is all I can write this week. I will add one thing. Seeing Sarah makes me feel like there is promise for the future. Not everything is about loss.

Now you just have to stay on my side and help me heal. I need deep healing from someone who can reach inside of me the way your feelings do. I trust you Annie. Don’t ever go away.

That is all I have to give for now. Wow. How amazing is life.

Fondly,
Madison

ATTENTION ANNIE: At this moment I am not trying to be a coward, but I feel if I hold back now or never send this to you, I am freeing myself up to write whatever without censorship. On some future date, if trust grows, I will release my letters to you. What I write in honesty, I will keep confidential. On my honour, no others shall see these pages.
Regards,
Madison Taylor

Fantasy Sets for Film: BRIEF SACRIFICE with Lead Character CARTER MCLEOD. {played by BAFTA Nominated Actor JAMIE STANSFIELD} Savannah Cats are Carter’s. Screenplay: MADISON TAYLOR. Director: SCOTTIE ANDREWS

brief sacrifice mansion-film set  723x458

Brief Sacrifice mansion — film set

brief sacrifice --- rustic den film set  768x579

Brief Sacrifice — rustic den film set

brief sacrifice  jasper-jax & james in foreground  savannah kittens when they were 4 weeks old  705x818

Brief Sacrifice — Jasper — Jax & James in foreground — Savannah kittens when they were 4 weeks old – grown up in film

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

flowing liquid gold (1)it’s flowing liquid gold

4p a world in tree greena world in tree green

hands reaching out into rain

Infatuation To Fantasy
By Madison Taylor
January 21st 2008

A star sparkling in my presence
Heat and fire escape from her eyes
Wildness – courage and strength
Pour from her soul
Calling out to me
Noticing me as I notice her
Feeling her touch
Caressing softly-a feather’s down

A bird sits on my shoulder
Speaking her language
Whispering into my ear
Translating her messages
As she meant them for me
Such personal meanings
Making me blush
A hue of pale cardinal
The quickness of blood
Rushing the surface of my flesh
So secret in meaning
Attempts to comprehend the crypticism
Expressing my shyness
As she mimics my spirit

My hesitancy to approach
The newness inside of us
Though powerful in character
Certain reservations necessary
Need not rush
No need to overwhelm
Subtlety is more sensuous
Building to a slow crescendo
Oh-so much more enticing
The intrigue has time to grow
Developing in slow motion

Sensations growing inside
Building outward
Climbing higher
Touching the center
My body’s restrictions releasing
Allowing entrance to secrets
Releasing dreams
Creating meaning

My throat’s breathing
In shallow motions
Sounds effecting my senses
Opening the pathway
Wanting to scream
Holding back
Becoming too restrictive
Overtaking control
Release happens
Pleasure surrendered
Now falling backwards
Overcome by falling
Relaxation overwhelming
The awakened state slipping away
Morpheus calling out for dreams
Eyes close in the darkness
Unconsciousness drifting
Lifting floating body
Awareness liberated
Sleep thoroughly attained

© madison taylor 2008

candle flame flickering gif

le chateau de rocher by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013Le Chateau de Rocher is the home of Madison and Scottie and their three cats Mikey, Toker and Patrick

le chateau de rocher art gallery

Le Chateau de Rocher Art Gallery

QUOTATIONS from Private Writings

“A Dream

The beginning always starts out with a dream.
It is all a dream
And we are all players
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~
(1563-1631)

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”
Christopher Marlowe for “Hero and Leander”

“A therapeutic relationship is often more psycho-emotionally intimate than a marriage, or a romantic attachment. I know things about my patients that they would never dream of revealing to their spouses or families. Why is that? One word — trust. If you do not have a connection with a therapist, you cannot trust them. If you do not have trust, you will not expose yourself, and if you do not expose your innermost being, what good is the therapy?” — unknown but ask any great therapist

“Men have called me mad, but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence…whether much that is glorious–whether all that is profound–does not spring from disease of thought…” — Edgar Allan Poe

QUOTATIONS on INFATUATION:

“The world was collapsing, and the only thing that really mattered to me was that she was alive.” ― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

“Yes, I was infatuated with you: I am still. No one has ever heightened such a keen capacity of physical sensation in me. I cut you out because I couldn’t stand being a passing fancy. Before I give my body, I must give my thoughts, my mind, my dreams. And you weren’t having any of those.” ― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

“Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
― William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

“I think it is all a matter of love; the more you love a memory the stronger and stranger it becomes” ― Vladimir Nabokov

“What she had realised was that love was that moment when your heart was about to burst.” ― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

“When you have seen as much of life as I have, you will not underestimate the power of obsessive love.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

“I feel intensely about the physical form of the female body. The smooth caressing line of the breasts. Followed by all parts of a woman are so soft and touchable. The heights one can take the sensations when making love. With a therapist who is male, they do not have this form that causes desire to bloom. It is just plain out inappropriate behavior and throw in a touch of sexual harassment to boot. I don’t want to see any man’s junk unless it is on screen and only if it is actually quite lovely. But I do not want my analyst going anywhere near that subject matter unless I am talking about an abuser raping me. Enough said.” — Madison Taylor, Letters of Import: Infatuation To Fantasy 17

FIRST ART ACQUISITION OUTSIDE OF INHERITANCE

entering the soul connection

The Soul Connection

play is not just play meryl streep

Noble In Reason

a divider for post no. 5 love fav new one

Noble In Reason
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Collage by j. kiley
Post Created 2nd Tuesday July 2013
Posted 3rd Wednesday July 2013

hamlet-noble in reason

Aria from Diva – Wilhelmenia Wiggins Fernandez

Fernandez sings the aria “Ebben? Ne andrò lontana“, from Act I of Catalani’s opera “La Wally.” Catalani died at 39. The piece is a haunting reverie on the theme of traveling alone and far from home.

This performance plays a prominent role in the 1981 French romantic thriller, “Diva” – and is an excerpt from the DVD. Roger Ebert, film critic for the Chicago Sun Times, rates the movie 5 stars out of 5.

The opera, based on a German novel, tells of a wild, headstrong Swiss mountain girl who loves one local huntsman and is loved by another. Eventually she wins her true love, the pair embraces high in the Alps, an avalanche entombs the hero and she leaps after him to her snowy death.

QUOTATIONS on REASON:

“Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars, points of light and reason. …And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn’t see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason, for anything.” ― Stephenie Meyer, New Moon

“Your reason and your passion are the rudder and the sails of your seafaring soul.

For reason, ruling alone, is a force confining; and passion, unattended, is a flame that burns to its own destruction.

Therefore let your soul exalt your reason to the height of passion, that it may sing;

And let it direct your passion with reason, that your passion may live through its own
daily resurrection, and like the phoenix rise above its own ashes.

And since you are a breath in God’s sphere, and a leaf in God’s forest, you too should rest in reason and move in passion.” ― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

a divider for post no. 5 love fav new one

Private Writings: Chapter #16 — Aggravating Behavior

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013
Private Writings: Chapter #16 — Aggravating Behavior
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
First Published March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted 2nd July 2013
WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Private Writings: Chapter #16 — Aggravating Behavior

Tuesday January 15th, 2008

Dear Annie,

I think Annie, I know why I wrote such an emotionally intense letter last week. It is Amelie. Her joining the therapy group last week really disarmed me. There was no notice or warning of a new member starting the first of the year. Our glorious leader, Dr. George, yes, I am using his given name, fuck Mr. Xxx, he deserves to be identified. He failed to ask whether we wanted someone new.

Seems the Doctor wants full control or he would have mentioned her and not made the decision on his own. This group has full rights to decide if someone joins at any time. Writing this is not to complain about Amelie. She mesmerizes me. It is Dr. George’s lack of inquiry with us. To late, it’s done. Not appropriately, but déjà fait. He bloody displeases me, not Alison.

Amelie triggers memories of Tosh. Their resemblance is beyond uncanny. And her boldness is refreshing. No hesitation to proclaim herself a lesbian. But I saw her depth of attraction and knew. Sensed it in her gaze when her eyes caught mine, in a timeless moment. Her eyes were steady. All I knew was the feeling from Amelie felt as though Tosh’s eyes were loving me. The time portal opened to the past.

Who is Amelie? Where did she come from? And why now? The pressure is building up inside of me. Not sure I’m handling it well. I feel like my world is about to explode. Flashing on Tosh’s murder. Getting attached to you. Not knowing if I will lose you if this all crash and burns. Now Amelie, a ghost, a practical joke, Dr. George, the bastard, is fucking with me. He knows what Tosh looks like, and magically Amelie springs up.

I’m sure you’ve notices the group is in disaster mode. Dying and almost dead as Jacob Marley’s Ghost. It’s in a retrograde of self-destruction. Hold it together, Annie, please, just long enough, or it will disintegrate by the hand of Machiavelli, himself, Dr. George. Maybe it should self-destruct. Solves one major problem. Poof! Dr. George disappears. So does everyone else in this miserable group. Exceptions are Amelie and Kristina. Soon, I will tell you about Kristina. Right now, I’m just waiting for Mount Vesuvius to erupt. That would be Brad, my totally rad alter. He’s not afraid of anyone. Plus he promised me Dr. George is going down. Soon. The time is near.

He sucks as a analyst. He’s not deserving of the honour of calling him a psychoanalyst or doctor. What a joke. He’s so out of touch, I don’t think he knows he’s treating clients. But, it’s his job to listen. Instead, he monopolizes a session by telling his own stories. It’s negligence and even worse, his stories are sexually perverse, going into detail about gay male sex. Please do not misunderstand, I am not homophobic. That’s not it, it’s that he tells these stories to me, when we are alone. I am a lesbian client, I emphasize, and an abuse survivor . His other clients, some share similar backgrounds. I, certainly, have no desire to hear about balls, or a man’s prick. Who the fuck wants to hear that kind of bull shit.

His sense of protocol is fucking aggravating. It’s inappropriate. Clearly sexual harassment, he thrusts upon female sexual abuse survivors. Having my analyst compound his ignorance with the subject at all is disgusting and depraved. The only appropriate time would be if I were talking about an abuser raping me. Enough with the perverse humour. Dr. George’s list of disgusting behavior grows longer, probably unlike his dick. It’s not my thing. Being raped by pricks do not make lesbians appreciate the existence of dicks, nor do they fantasize hearing about them or seeing them. Does he forget or not understand that element of our experiences?

I just need to end my therapy with him completely. His relationship with me is a travesty. He’s outrageous, obnoxious and destructive in our private sessions. Plainly, he is just a disappointment. He doesn’t even pretend any longer not to support me. He sides with his pets in the group, particularly Angie, who gets on my last nerve. I dread seeing them both. And God forbid I should question her intentions or prejudices or anyone elses.

In a private session, only recently, when I accused Angie, his precious fucking pet snake of being a homophobe and racist, he came down on me, accusing me of being cruel and unfeeling. His evil seethed through his teeth as he tried destroying me with his words. Turning me in on myself, made me out to be the insensitive one. Every fiber and muscle in my body struggled with my mind, trying to walk out in the middle of his vicious outbreak of rage, but instead stillness set in. His verbal abuse caused such extreme fright, I became catatonic.

That was the final time I ever intend to allow him to rape my mind again. Next time, instead of facing me down, he will meet Brad, in his fully engaged rage. Dr. George will finally be laid out. Don’t worry, no one is going to do violence. But I would definitely make a grand exit, quite Gloria Swanson, but with a male flair and the burst of a fiery rage. And it truly would be the last one. You will know it and you will hear it, when it is over.

A word of encouragement from you, Annie, would help push me over that line to find my courage. His condescension in our private sessions should be enough. But I am too insecure to terminate without feeling support to catch me. An abusive relationship has gradually been created with him and I did not stop it when I realized what was happening. I let it take over my world. He makes me feel like the abusers did. I float on the ceiling to escape him and become powerless.

It always bothered me that he reminded me of an abuser. He used transference in place of accepting his role in creating my feelings of insecurity and making me feel I wasn’t seeing what I felt as being accurate. He was being abusive, constantly undermining my sense of identity and confidence. My belief in trusting my own feelings. My writing came to almost a stand still after starting to see him. My soul felt strangled. My muse abandoned me for an indefinite length of time. I fell into the deepest depression. Started having increasingly stronger panic and anxiety attacks and the depression led to feeling suicidal most of the time. How many times I felt so close to the edge, were far too many.

Just the thought that the next day I would have to see him freaked me out. I would start to shake and found it hard to breathe. He would rationalize it by saying I was afraid of therapy and what disturbing memories might come up. Bull shit. He is such a fuck head and liar. He wanted to have power over me. Sound familiar, it is exactly what abusers do to the children they abuse. Win their confidence and then slowly undermine their sense of self as an independent person, until the abuser can do anything they want with their prize possessions. Does he get his kicks having power over his clients, controlling them and how they feel inside. Making them want to kill themselves. Life and death. What an ultimate power trip.

Somehow, Scottie broke through the barrier.It was built up high and strong to protect myself. She fought with me to see reality. That I was having delusional thinking. For years she has driven me insane with her persistent urges to get me to stop seeing him. Deep inside I knew she was trying to protect me, but I was too frightened to walk away. I felt too crazy and feared leaving him would cause me to completely lose my mind. Talk about control or confusion. What was I letting him do to me? What was I doing to myself staying with him? Fear is my only excuse or reason. Terror. I was too terrified to live or to leave. Life was too frightening. I trembled at the thought of being part of the world. Going out. Being around people. Pure panic.

Now I want to make him disappear and group to end. Working with you, Annie, would be a great alternative. There is only one thing that would be fucked up if this all collapsed, which it will. Amelie, if it all ends, she would be gone. How will I be able to get to know her. There has got to be a way to make some kind of personal connection before it happens. Everything will crumble when I confront him. Not sure exactly when and how I’m going to do it. But it will happen and I’ve got to be lethal.

I don’t want Amelie to go away. It may seem odd. I met her last week, I’ve seen her twice. Yet, there is an intense need to know her. Jennie Fields, a character I love from the John Irving book, The World According to Garp, says this two word phrase. It cracks me up. She would look someone straight in the eyes and seriously state, “It’s lust.” As simple as that. “It’s lust.” I am in lust with Amelie. It’s a really strong attraction. Not something I have any way of explaining but say I am attracted to her.

Well, fuck it if I am. Amelie rocks my world at this very moment. Nothing wrong with those feelings. But, seriously, it feels more meaningful than an orgasmic connection. She reminds me of Tosh. I can’t let that go. There is something between us. I’m not letting her walk into my life so fucking briefly and not have a say as she walks back out again.

Don’t you think she’s awesome. She has me awestruck. I am numb in the brain. My feelings are all muttled around her. I can’t think or speak in a complete sentence without tangling up the words. You noticed that, I’m sure. It’s embarrassing, especially in front of that group from the vicious circle.

We need to figure this all out. I need your help, Annie. Please, let me assure you, do not worry about Scottie. She understands my bipolar. I have attractions but I can’t do anything about them. In due time, I will explain what Scottie fully knows about me. I don’t share with many this secret. That’s why Scottie trusts me.

Before I end my letter, I want to remind you of the secret from a few letters ago. Lets end this letter on a mysterious but still high note. It involves Scottie’s new film. Mine, too. Still working on finalizing the title. I don’t know what the problem is with making a decision. I liked my choice but can’t tell you yet. Maybe next time I’ll have a go.

But that’s not what I want to tell you. I, actually, want to tell you a bit more about the film. I’d like to sound it out on you further. See if it sounds like a good script. Would love the feedback. How about if I write a touch about it each week. A sneak preview when I remember. That would benefit me too. I would hear what it is that I have created. Bounce it off of you. Maybe I will feel more confident about my work.

In review, I remember telling you the lead character is a novelist, the character’s name, I will tell in a future letter. She is quite the brilliant writer. What else did I tell you. I lost it. Sorry. That’s all I remember from the other letter. Have a terrible memory, even for what I write.

Well, let me continue. She is a literary novelist, mixed with a touch of the psychological element and a dabble of mystery. Her problem is she can’t find a publisher. Just finds rejection notices in her mailbox but doesn’t give up. She keeps sending out her novels. She’s accumulated several manuscripts already. If it weren’t for the Estate her Grandmother left her after she died, our author wouldn’t be able to afford the luxury of being a full time writer. The wonderful home she lives in, with her three babies, was her grandmother’s home. You’ll meet the babies later. She spent many weeks there, every summer, when growing up. It was her favorite place on the planet.

One weekend, she goes to an Estate Sale. While rummaging around, she finds a briefcase. It’s an old leather one with a broken lock, jammed shut, with no way to look inside. She made the decision, it looked mysterious. Her thought was, it would be a great place to store her latest manuscript. She purchased it, not even sure she will ever be able to open it, ever. But she thought, if she was unsuccessful, it would make a great decoration, plus an uncanny inspiration for her writing room. It would add to the old English decor. But, she was certain, being quite a stubborn woman herself, she wouldn’t give up without a real attempt to break it open. It wasn’t her intention to give up trying that easily.

After returning home from a long drive, once in the house, she placed her new find on the dining room table while she went to feed the cats. The three, of them, practically knocked her down, when she came in the front door. Once Jasper, Jax and James were fed, the three young neutered male Savannah cats, spotted like leopards, enormous in size, all settled down in the family room. Snuggling, each in their special place, taking up most of the stuffed, soft, velvet sofa. They waiting for their Mum, while she fixed herself a quick bite to eat, for her own early dinner.

She was hurrying. Her curiosity wanted to get cracking on breaking inside her new acquisition. It may be old, but it was heavy, and definitely felt the weight of being filled with something, maybe a treasure of unknown value, so she fantasized. “Why would someone just abandon this briefcase? It gave off the vibe of containing something of value”

The answer would be found out soon enough. Carrying the briefcase under her left arm, and a plate, with a simple meal of salad and cheese, in her right hand, she joined her babies, Jasper, Jax and James, in the family room. She got cozy, finding her spot on the sofa, snuggling amongst her soft, sweet babies.

She studied the briefcase on the coffee table as she ate, and shared treats with her brood. Her imagination began to wander. It filled up with all sorts of magical imagery. What would she find? What should she wish for? Money or something more imaginative?

That’s where I’ll end it for this week. I want to keep you wondering.

Until next time.

Fondly,
Madison

ATTENTION ANNIE: At this moment I am not trying to be a coward, but I feel if I hold back now or never send this to you, I am freeing myself up to write whatever without censorship. On some future date, if trust grows, I will release my letters to you. What I write in honesty, I will keep confidential. On my honour, no others shall see these pages.
Regards,
Madison Taylor

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

rain in garden gif

Reaching Out
Written by Madison Taylor
January 14th 2008

Reaching out a hand with a flower in it
Is not verging upon hysteria waiting for a sign
Has life frightened away wanting tenderness
Or the fragile one who is patiently waiting
Will a response be returned in recognition
Of a genuine gesture of love and friendship
Or does the heart identify with one of those characters
Wanting and needing attention who will be lost without it
In the wilderness of lost dreams and nightmares
Forever wandering wondering what was missed
What path was it meant to take but turned the other way

Reaching for the stars shining high up in the darkness
The farthest thing away from reaching a heart desired
Turning around and going deep inside the soul
There is where the heart will find a resting place
Part of all in the world have turned away
Losing all sense of day or night or play
Talk for a moment about all the dreams
Seeking them takes the mind away from finding them
They are before the eyes right here inside the soul
Inside of every thought and feeling the heart possesses
Out there is only the illusion of what will not be found

© madison taylor 2008

candle flame flickering gif

CREAM: WHITE ROOM — Theme Song #16 For Private Writings: Chapter #16 — Aggravating Behavior

le chateau de rocher by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013   824x552Le Chateau de Rocher is the home of Madison and Scottie & their three cats Mikey, Toker and Patrick

the white room  768x776

The White Room

QUOTATIONS from: Private Writings

“A Dream

The beginning always starts out with a dream.
It is all a dream
And we are all players
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~
(1563-1631)

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”
Christopher Marlowe for “Hero and Leander”

“A therapeutic relationship is often more psycho-emotionally intimate than a marriage, or a romantic attachment. I know things about my patients that they would never dream of revealing to their spouses or families. Why is that? One word — trust. If you do not have a connection with a therapist, you cannot trust them. If you do not have trust, you will not expose yourself, and if you do not expose your innermost being, what good is the therapy?” — unknown but ask any great therapist

“Men have called me mad, but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence…whether much that is glorious–whether all that is profound–does not spring from disease of thought…” — Edgar Allan Poe

QUOTATIONS on AGGRAVATING BEHAVIOR:

“Never hide things from hardcore thinkers. They get more aggravated, more provoked by confusion than the most painful truths.” ― Criss Jami

“He is being nibbled to death by ducks. –More Later, Less the Same” ― James Tate, Selected Poems

“I suppose an analyst not getting that you are the client and he should be listening to you, not telling his own stories and being sexually perverse talking about gay sex with a lesbian who has not desire to hear about balls, and not the kind you find being tossed about on a playground, but the kind that go with the package of junk men have. Don’t misunderstand, a cliche, but one of my best friends is a gay male. This is aggravating and if I thought about, it also borders on inappropriate behavior and sexual harassment. Michael Fassbender can show his junk. It is actually quite lovely, but I don’t want my analyst going anywhere near that subject unless I am talking about an abuser raping me. Enough said.” — Madison Taylor, Letters of Import: Aggravating Behavior 16

“I suppose I have found it easier to identify with the characters who verge upon hysteria, who were frightened of life, who were desperate to reach out to another person. But these seemingly fragile people are the strong people really.” — Tennessee Williams

“When you reach for the stars, you are reaching for the farthest thing out there. When you reach deep into yourself, it is the same thing, but in the opposite direction. If you reach in both directions, you will have spanned the universe.” — ― Vera Nazarian

play is not just play meryl streep

Love, Marilyn

take one 2
Love, Marilyn
Pulp Fiction Quote: Ezekiel 25:15 Finder of Lost Children
Post created by Jk the secret keeper
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post created June 28th 2013
Posted June 29th 2013

I watched two brilliant films last night which I am going to try the miracle of correlating them together and establish a cohesive reason why I feel they are in some way connected to the other. Some or none may see the sense of this post but there you have it.

marilyn-monroe-1

Marilyn Monroe

I saw a brilliant documentary last night on my laptop. It was on HBOGO.com. “Love, Marilyn.” Do I need to state her whole name? I will just in case. The documentary was about and infused with Marilyn Monroe, the fiction and the real person. It was brilliant. Marilyn Monroe was constantly writing down notes of thoughts she had. Poems she created. On any surface she could find. She wrote some very amazing ideas and her words were spoken in this documentary by many famous actors from the present in a montage interspersed with images and clips from her life and her films. People from her life spoke about her in great detail. It was strikingly and beautifully done.

Love, Marilyn – Documentary Trailer (2013)

As the film progressed, it brought back clearly into my mind, a theory I have had for a long time, that someone murdered her. She did not overdose on pills by taking them herself. She had a whole new life planned for herself. After the studios did an all out campaign to try to destroy her career, she was set up to take the fall for The Misfits, her last completed film, for being behind schedule and over budget, when in actuality, the director, John Huston was given the money to use for gambling.

Love, Marilyn — Official Trailer About Movie

But that couldn’t be known. So, instead, John and others concocted a story and turned around blaming Marilyn for a drug problem and needed time to recover. Then her last film, she was fired from that for questionable reasons and she was made to look like she was impossible to work with and everything bad they could possibly say about her they threw out into the atmosphere. Well, their smear campaign was backfiring. Marilyn decided to fight back.

Marilyn-Monroe 2

Marilyn did develop her own production company and produce her own films. She had structured the plans and pulled in the people who would help her make this happen. But when she was married to Arthur Miller he said she had to choose between it or him. She broke up her production company.

bi-marilyn-monroe-selfish-quote

But in her last letter she felt she was in the best part of her life and was looking forward to her new world opening up before her. Now does this sound like someone who would kill them self a few days later.

She was actually happy. She looked great, More beautiful and confident then ever. She was brilliant. If you are someone interested in Marilyn Monroe, you should definitely watch this. I have always loved Marilyn, and I do remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when I heard about her death. It was in 1962 August 5th at the age of 36. I was a kid so the following thought did not occur to me until much later in my life.

Marilyn-Monroe---Rock-Hudson----1962

Marilyn-Monroe—Rock-Hudson—-1962

I think the mob killed her and wanted to make it look like the Kennedy brothers did it. Or they wanted to punish the Kennedy’s for abandoning their supposed promises which their father Joe made. Instead Robert, as the Attorney General for his brother Jack’s Administration, was going after the Mob really hard. He wanted to bring them down. Well, the Mob wasn’t going to take their betrayal or their threats. They felt they helped get John Kennedy elected. They had to show the Kennedy’s what would happen if they didn’t back off. So they killed Marilyn because Bobby and Jack were involved with her. To show how serious they were at stopping them. When that didn’t work, they assassinated President John Kennedy in Dallas the following year. That is my theory. I am dead serious and sticking to it. There was no lone gun man and Jack Ruby, a member of the mob, killed Lee Harvey Oswald to keep him quiet. No trial. No investigation. The Warren Report was full of sh#t.

pulp fiction 2 poster all in

Pulp Fiction: A film that shows you a sampling of what the Mob does to people who betray them. Though I love this film, it is down right violent, humourous, yes, and also told in such an unstructured fashion.

pulp fictio poster with ulma thurman

Pulp Fiction is in and out of time. In the past, where people who are dead, suddenly are alive and the last scene in the film, there are two men, one of which was already killed earlier, walking out of a diner in tacky shorts and t-shirts. Nothing these two would ever be caught dead in. They are wearing these sh#tty looking clothes because one of them, who was waving his gun about in the car while telling a story, accidentally blows the brains out of the guy in the back seat. Obviously, he is dead but that really isn’t relevant.

Pulp Fiction Movie Trailer

The following is the famous quote from Pulp Fiction that misquotes completely from Ezekiel 23:15. Parts of it are there in the bible but I prefer this version. And if you listen to the videos that follow below, you will hear the character played by Samuel L. Jackson stating this quote with full power behind him. It is quite alarming what follows.

Don’t forget what brought them to this reckoning in the first place. It was to retrieve a special certain briefcase for Marsellus Wallace. The people they are visiting have stolen it. What is in that briefcase? Everyone has their opinion. My theory, it is the soul of Marsellus Wallace. When the case is opened a golden light shines out from within. What else comes to mind besides the light of a soul. It reminds me of the film  Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenant. It took those fracking Nazis right out of their skin and melted them down. If that is a spoiler then you are way too young to be reading this or just not an Indie Fan. The same is true for Pulp Fiction, it has been around forever. The quote is so familiar to those who have seen the film.

pulp fiction briefcase  good shot with echo of light with jv

Briefcase in Good Shot with Echo of Light

One of the most memorable moments, other than the scene with the adrenaline needle a mile long and a certain chest that needs an injection. If these are SPOILERS I don’t know what to say except forget everything I just wrote. They are both great films but Pulp Fiction is VIOLENT in a disturbing way. Some would say the ending to The Ark of the Covenant was pretty disturbing, also. But more GROSS than disturbing.

marilyn-monroe 3

She went through foster care. She was almost smothered to death at two of the foster homes and almost raped at age nine. She was abused her whole childhood and life. Also, she was suffering from PTSD. Marilyn had some symptoms similar to manic depression but not certain if she was bipolar. There isn’t enough information to make that decision accurately. She wanted to be loved but started to believe it wasn’t possible. She wanted to be seen as who she was, a brilliant woman, who read extensively, was passionate and highly intelligent. She created Marilyn Monroe. That is not who she was and is. Marilyn was a persona that was a fiction. “No one knew her, not even Marilyn,” as Lee Strasberg stated. He was her acting coach and an actor himself, who curiously enough played a Jewish mobster in “The Godfather” films.

Scott Feinberg Interviews Marilyn Monroe’s Best Friend Amy Greene

This is an amazing interview with so many wonderful and honest stories about Marilyn Monroe. The last statement will tell you what her friend felt happened at the end. Listen to it all. It will hold your attention til the end. I am not saying I agree with her conclusion, however much I would like to. I still think something wasn’t right about the ending of Marilyn Monroe’s life. I don’t feel she had anything to do with what caused her own death.

Now for the Famous Quote from Pulp Fiction: (I, also, watched this film last night with Love, Marilyn.)

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.” —From “Pulp Fiction” from Ezekiel 25:17

Ezekiel 25:17 – Pulp Fiction – Movie CLIP (1994) HD

Pulp Fiction Best Quotes