Private Writings: Chapter #55 – It’s Wrong for the Right Reasons

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #55 – It’s Wrong for the Right Reasons

Written by Jennifer Kiley
Painting by NAME OF ARTIST
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 1st April 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
Not Suitable For Children.
All Characters Are Fictitious.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell
psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller
using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts
to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss
but to most importantly
tell the best tale ever after upon a time

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #55 — It’s Wrong for the Right Reasons

Tuesday 23rd September 2008

Dear Annie,

I told you last week I would tell you about my grandmother. She was so special to me. My real fairy godmother was my grandmother. She gave me a nickname I love so much. Mandy is that nickname my grandmother gave me when I was little. She would sit me in her lap and tell me how much she loved her sweet sweet granddaughter Mandy. I was her baby girl. She was the only one who loved me when I was a child. And the only person who did not abuse me in some way. Her hugs were the best in the world. Before she left me, she tried to prepare me for her death. I told her she was never going to die. Death wasn’t something I understood at that time. I never knew anyone who died. Death did not feel like it was a part of my world. She had an awful accident falling down the stairs. In the hospital, she had broken her hip and from her inability to move, she developed pneumonia.

I was too young to visit her by myself and my horrible parents did nothing to take any of us to see her. She was lost to me. I didn’t understand how to communicate with her. I was confused. Then the news came through my grandmother was going to go into a nursing facility to recover. She told me many times she would never ever go into one of them. I don’t even understand why they would tell her such a thing. My grandmother was filthy rich. She could afford to be taken home and receive plenty of care. But no, my parents and my mother’s uncle, the one who abused me, weren’t going to give my grandmother the peace of mind to do what she wanted. Later that same day, I heard my mother scream this awful sound. I ran to where she was. My awful mother was crying. Struggling to get the words out, she told me my grandmother was dead. I was so young, all I could feel was stunned.

The safest person in the world to me, the only person I loved and who loved me, she was gone. She was dead. My grandmother was dead. The last time I saw her alive, I was hugging her. I lay on her bed next to her and we snuggled as close as the pain would allow. It was the best snuggle in the world. I told my granma “I love you.” I think I kept on saying it as they were trying to pull me away from her. She didn’t want to let go either this time. The parents were always trying to pull us apart. When I would hold her in a full arm hug just before it was time to leave her home, the parents had to pry us apart then, too. I knew if I let go, I would have to go back to hell. All I wanted was my grandmother to keep me with her.  Now she was dead. That is the last time I saw her, when she was dead lying in her coffin. I kissed her on the forehead. She wasn’t there. It was the first time I cried after she died. When I could see she wasn’t just someplace else, she was dead and I would never hug her again or feel her hug me, holding on tight, trying to protect me from what she never knew. I never told her about any of the abuse that was going on. I didn’t want it to spoil our relationship.

Now I have lost far too many people since my grandmother’s death. People I loved, who were too young to die but they died anyway. In all the unfairness of life, killing people when they are young is the cruelest elements of life. Death freaks me out except when I am feeling suicidal. Then I crave it. I want it. I want death to take me. It is that simple. That is why I took those pills. I miss all the women in my life who I loved and now they are dead. I feel such a deep capacity to feel intense emotional feelings. When I love, I love intensely. And I am talking about Love not sex. Sex is not meant to be something I can experience with another person. The abusers stole that from me, the ability to feel love and sexual attraction together. It doesn’t work for me. What I am able to do is love passionately but not love if it has anything to do with being sexual. Loving passionately for me is to feel my emotions of love very intensely and deeply. It is the purist kind of love I know. Love being Love. The way I feel for Scottie. She understands me. Her generosity of support is what was keeping me alive for so long.

No one can keep you alive if you don’t want to be. Tosh has been around. Her spirit is watching over me. She has visited me here. We have spent a great amount of time talking. Sorting out why she had to die so young. I’ve never gotten over losing her. But she is with me now, so I am not alone.  As for the rest of everyone here, no one seems like anyone I want to relate to. But it may just be too soon. As I said, I do like my shrink. I just want to see you, Annie. I need lots of your hugs to help me make it through.

Why do people misunderstand love and hugs and saying “I love you?” That crushes me more than anything else. My heart feels like it has been crushed. The weight on my chest and the difficulty I have breathing makes me feel like I am dying. Am I ready to die? Part of me was ready to go before Jamie found me. Do I still want to die? I am not sure. When I think about it strongly enough, I would have to say yes. Yes, I still want to die. If I say that to my Doctor, I will be staying here way too long. So help me work something out, so I can get out of here. Most of all, I miss my cats, Alison, Scottie, and you. And I want to go home. I miss my home.

Help me get out of here. I know I am sounding like I am on the mania train but we can work on getting my suicidal depression back in line. You just need to snap me out of twirling around inside my brain. I’m drowning here. I surely will if I don’t get some relief from strangers. Unlike Blanche Dubois, “I do not depend upon the kindness of strangers.” Friends are just strangers in disguise. They aren’t really there to bond with you, they just want what they need but disguise it as love and caring but in reality they are stealing all your good energy for themselves and leave you starving to death. But they don’t care or give a fuck.

Well, fuck them if they can be so cruel to abandon you when you most need them. Fuck her. Who “her” is, is the $5 Billion Dollar Q & A. Name anyone and I would say they have contributed to my surrender. Living in secret. Living in fear of living. Living in fear of loving. Living in fear of Life. Living in fear of Trust stolen from me so many times in the Sacrifice. Living in fear of Death but only when Death is a threat. When it is sweet, sweet like the feelings of the deepest and darkest depression carrying me as though in a coffin through the rocking finality of death. The finality of Death is Living. But when I try to take the living out of my own self and enter Death without being called to it properly causes all sorts of people to get all weird and concerned. When truthfully no one gives a shit.

When we die, we are just gone. Only the tender few, like myself, love that deeply, when we feel death stealing us away. For the young who die, it is the last high carrying us closer to the other side. Each high brings us a shade too close to the thinning edge. I feel when we rip our body away from our soul someone has to help us through the pain after death. First figuring out where we are when we realize, “This isn’t Earth any longer. Nor is it OZ. It is filled with darkness. We can see our spirit but nothing else is visible. This is after we first leave our body. How long this period lasts, it’s impossible to measure without the existence of time. It is all for what? I thought maybe it was all for Love.

I’m exhausted. So that is all I have for now. I feel close to sane but on the edge of madness. Let me repeat my usual closing. It will make things appear to be as usual. I will see you soon. I must.

That’s all for now.

“Time for time and traveling with circuses must end. It is time to soar through the time barrier into all moments in the Universe.”

So, until I see you, I end with my favorite quote from the film Brief Sacrifice.

“Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all places as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.”

I end this letter in “the moment between seconds.”
Love Fondly,

Madison

© Madison Taylor 2008

acrylic_fluid_painting_61_by_mark_chadwick

Acrylic Fluid Painting 61 by Mark Chapwick

Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

robert-mapplethorpe_15 multiple tiger orchids bluish purple bg

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher

Le Chateau de Rocher is Madison & Scottie’s Home

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play. Pretending is imagined possibility” — Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

Depression, the secret we share

tell me a story
Depression, the secret we share
TED Talk: Andrew Solomon
Notations by Jennifer Kiley
Created on 8th January 2014
Posted On Thursday 27th March 2014
TELL ME A STORY

Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share – TED Talk

“The opposite of depression is not happiness, but vitality, and it was vitality that seemed to seep away from me in that moment.”

In a talk equal parts eloquent and devastating, writer Andrew Solomon takes you to the darkest corners of his mind during the years he battled depression. That led him to an eye-opening journey across the world to interview others with depression — only to discover that, to his surprise, the more he talked, the more people wanted to tell their own stories.

Depression. Grief. Sadness. These get confused.

Depression. When you have a catastrophic lost and six months later you are still devastated and unable to function. This is depression. “A slower way of being dead.”

You don’t think in depression you are just in a bad way. You believe you are seeing the truth. No matter what we do we are all going to just die in the end.

Depression is the family secret that everyone has.

Why do people feel a need to hide they are depressed? The stigma of having any kind of problem with the brain, unless it is medically connected, is such a misunderstanding. The brain is part of the body. If it is not functioning in a healthy way, it is a physical illness that needs treatment and concern and especially support from those who surround them, including society to find compassion and understanding.

Instead of taking someone who is depressed in a dance circle and working out the block in energy, we take them into a small dark room and make them talk about all the things that are making them feel awful.

Our needs are our greatest assets. Seeking meaning for depression. Valuing one’s depression. Learn something from depression. The opposite of depression is vitality. I love my depression because it has forced me to cling to joy.

Depression is when expressing emotions have been damaged or shut off.

Cleave to the reasons for living.

Depression is equal parts eloquent and devastating.

After Trayvon

tell me a story
After Trayvon
Vimeo Video by Alex Mallis
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Created 28th February 2014
Posted on Thursday 13th March 2014
TELL ME A STORY

WATCH  &  LISTEN.  THINK  THEN  REACT.  THIS NEEDS TO BE TALKED ABOUT.
IT  NEEDS  TO  BE  TAUGHT  IN  SCHOOLS.  TOLERANCE.  A  NEED FOR ANGER
MANAGEMENT.  FIRST  REACTION  IS  NOT  TO  KILL. THE YOUNG BLACK MAN
IS  NOT  A  DANGER TO YOU.  THERE  ARE  DANGERS  BUT IT ISN’T FROM THE
YOUNG  BLACK  MAN.  IT  IS  FROM  BIGOTRY. RACISM. HOMOPHOBIA. WHITE
SUPREMACY. FUNDAMENTALISM. MALE CHAUVINISM. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
VIOLENCE  AGAINST  WOMEN.  VIOLENCE  AGAINST  CHILDREN. RAPE. FEAR.
BULLYING.  THE  CULTURE.  POVERTY.  IGNORANCE.  NEED  FOR TOLERANCE
&  UNDERSTANDING  OF  DIFFERENCE.  TERRORISM  IS  AT  THE ROUTE.  ALL
KINDS  OF TERRORISM ARE AT THE ROOT OF THIS INSANE WHITE VIOLENCE.

YOUNG  BLACK  MEN  FEEL THE FEAR AROUND OTHER YOUNG BLACK MEN. IT
IS  AN  OUT  OF  PROPORTION  FEAR.  I WOULD FEAR WHITE MEN FIRST. THAT
IS MY EXPERIENCE. I WOULD FEAR THE POLICE. THEY ARE OUT OF CONTROL.
TOO  MUCH AUTHORITY & POWER CORRUPTS. POLICE FEEL INVINCIBLE. FEEL
THEY CAN DO ANYTHING JUST BY USING THE PHRASE ‘STAND YOUR GROUND.’

WHITE  MEN  WHO  ARE BIGOTS ON ALL LEVELS FEEL THEY ARE INVINCIBLE.
THEY  FEEL  THIS  WORLD  BELONGS  TO  THEM.  EVERYONE  ELSE  IN  IT IS A
LESSER  INFERIOR  CITIZEN  WHO  DOESN’T  DESERVE  THE  SAME RIGHTS AS
THE WHITE MEN DO. IT’S EVIDENT IN CONGRESS WHAT WHITE MEN THINK OF
THEIR  POWER. REPUBLICANS THINK THEY OWN WOMEN’S BODIES. ANOTHER
ARGUMENT  FOR  ANOTHER  TIME.  BUT  AN ISSUE THAT IS OUT OF CONTROL.

AUTHORITY  FIGURES  & THE JUSTICE  SYSTEM IS OUT OF CONTROL. IT DOES
NOT  PROTECT THE INNOCENT. IT PROTECTS THE WEALTHY & FAMOUS. THEY
ARE THE ONES WHO CAN AFFORD THE LAWYERS. IF POOR & INNOCENT F.A.I.

ZIMMERMAN  SHOULD  BE  SITTING  IN  A  PRISON  CELL WITH NO POSSIBILITY
OF  PAROLE  EVER.  YET  HE STILL  CONTINUES  OUT  ON THE STREET CAUSING
THREATS  OF  ALL  POSSIBLE  KINDS  B/C  HE  IS  A  DANGER TO SOCIETY. THAT
IS  A  MAJOR  REASON FOR WHY WE LOCK PEOPLE UP. INSTEAD IN HIS PLACE
SOMEONE  WHO  GOT  FOUND  BY THE POLICE IN POSSESSION OF AN ILLEGAL
SUBSTANCE.  LIKE  MARIJUANA.  GETTING  HIGH  SENDS  PEOPLE  TO PRISON.
WHO WOULD YOU PREFER BEHIND BARS? GZIMM OR A STONER? NO  BRAINER
TO ME. GZIMM HAS TO GO. FREE THE STONERS. FREE THE YOUNG BLACK MAN
FROM HIS  FEAR OF BEING  ONE OF THE HUNTED  AND KILLED. IT’S THE TRUTH

MICHAEL  DUNN  [THE  SCUMBAG]  WHO  SHOT  INTO  THE  CAR WHERE THE YOUNG
BLACK  MAN  JORDAN  DAVIS  WAS  MURDERED  SHOULD  ALSO  SPEND HIS ENTIRE
LIFE  BEHIND  BARS  WITH  NO  POSSIBILITY  OF PAROLE.  HE  FELT  DISRESPECTED
B/C  JORDAN  CALLED  HIM  A  CRACKER.  WELL, IN ACTUALITY HE TURNED OUT TO
BE  EXACTLY  THAT  “A CRACKER”  IN  ALL  HIS  MURDERING  GLORY. HE MAY HAVE
BEEN  SENTENCED FOR THE LESSER COUNTS BUT HE MURDERED A 17 YEAR OLD &
INJURED  INNOCENT  PEOPLE  WHO  WERE  LISTENING  TO MUSIC.  ACCORDING TO
DUNN THE MURDERER – IT WAS TOO LOUD.

WHO  DESERVES  TO  DIE  B/C  THEIR MUSIC IS TOO LOUD? OR THEY ARE OUT WALKING
CAUSING NO HARM. WHAT RIGHT IS ‘STAND YOUR GROUND’ WHEN THE INNOCENT DIE?

VIOLENCE.  MURDER.  ANIMOSITY  OF  ANY  KIND  NEEDS A CLEARER PROSPECTIVE.
KILLING IS NEVER THE ANSWER IN SOLVING PROBLEMS. USE WORDS NOT BULLETS.

After Trayvon by Alex Mallis

In this video,  Young  Black  Men  are sitting around talking about what is
happening to them.  Why  the  Young  Black Man is seen as such a threat.
If  a  YBM  is  harassed  by  the  cops,  if  he  should  tell  the cop what his
rights  are,  the  cop  will  turn up  the  force of harassment into physical
violence.  If  the  YBM  tries  to  take  a  photo  with  his  cell. The cop will
knock  it  out  of  his  hand.  So,  the  YBM is not only seen as a threat, he
is  brutalized  for  his  mere  visible  existence.  Even  YBM  are  weary  of
YBM,  when  they  are  in  groups.   It’s  sad  to  hear  this  feeling  exists.

What  kind  of  White  Propaganda  of  ‘Stand  Your  Ground’  have  we  spread
throughout  the  Black  Communities  and  in  the  rest of the States. Walking
while  Black.  Driving  while  Black.  Shooting into a car of Young Black People
playing  music,  to  this mad man, was way too loud. So, they get shot, killed,
and  injured  for  LOUD  MUSIC.  And  the  shithead  doesn’t even get a GUILTY
Charge for Murder. He is serving time in prison. It’s Not for Murdering Jordan

It has to stop. The fear of others who may not always be harmless but probably
in  most cases, yes, Harmless. Danger exists in all communities. And the danger
comes  from  a majority of people who are not Young Black Men. It seems to me
it  is  a  matter  of  retraining our subliminal reactions & TV News needs to stop
sensationalizing  the  horrible  actions  of  the  few. It is a total exaggeration of
what  is really going on out in the real world? We live in fear of the possibilities.

Yes,  there  is  violence  across  the  planet.  But  is  it  as  extreme  as we are being
shown  on  the  Nightly  News  or  in  the news specials every time there is violence
bestowed upon part of the masses. It is tragic people are being shot by sociopaths
and/or  psychopaths.  I  would think they would be less than 1% of the population.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition but it happened. It is still happening
but  just  under  a  new  heading  and the continued bigotry & indifference.

A  great  beginning  of  dialogue  found  in  this  video  “After Trayvon.” I know when
Zimmerman took the life of Trayvon Martin, it was the day “One’s Level of Tolerance
Had  Overflowed  Into  Madness.”  A  Young Teenage Black Man was gunned down for
walking  while Black, carrying his cell phone, an ice tea and a snack. No Weapons. No
Threat.  Just  Walking.  Talking to  his  Friend on his cell. It’s impossible to see any of
Trayvon  Martin’s  activities  as a reason to set off the reaction it did in Zimmerman.

[In the Mind of Zimmerman the Night he Gunned down Trayvon Martin In Cold Blood.]
“Oh,  I  am  in  danger.  He  is tall and Black. I must defend myself. I will confront him.
Get  out of my car and follow him. Yes, I will stop him. I will STAND MY GROUND. If he
crosses  over  into  my  space,  I  will take it as a threat on my life and I must in good
conscience  Protect  My  Own  Life.  I  must  KILL HIM before He Ever Has A Chance To
Protect  Himself  Against  My  Intentions. I need an Immediate Course of Action. Just
KILL  HIM.  Everyone will believe me if I say, “He was this Tall Black Man. He made me
feel  threatened.  I  needed  to  Protect  myself. I felt in Danger. Like he was going to
KILL  ME.  I  was  Lucky  To Act First before He Had A Chance To Take Me Out. I needed
to  TAKE  HIM  OUT  FIRST.  I  was Justified. If I had to do it over, I would do the same.”

[DO YOU REALLY THINK HE EVEN BELIEVES ANY OF THE SH@T HE SPEWS FORTH?]

Purely, my own conjectures on what was playing in GZimm’s mind at the time he broke away
from any  sense  of composure or decency. As he stalked and murdered the Young Black Male
Teenager, we  all  know  as  Trayvon  Martin. Was GZimm afraid of the Hoodie? Did he think it
was  A Wolf  in  disguise  &  he  was  in  a  Grimm’s  Fairy  Tale?  What  the  bloody hell was he
thinking or  does  he  even  have  the  capacity  to  think?  It  would seem not. He is a Brute. A
Murderer. A  Spousal  Abuser.  A  Liar.  The  list  does  go  on.  GZimm  needs  to fade away into
oblivion.  To  be  no  more.  The  rest  like  him  should  follow  quickly  behind.  Wouldn’t  want
them to miss  their  ride  to  the  Big  “O”  of Oblivion. He needs to be Voided from the records
of ever being.  Without  him,  Trayvon  Martin  would still be alive and his life would be before
him. But it’s  not  the Land of Make Believe & clocks move forward. The Past Is Set as Time Is.

A Writer’s Diary: Virginia Woolf — Part #1

a writer's diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #1
Excerpts from Virginia Woolf
Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 8th February 2014
Posted Sunday 2nd March 2014
A WRITER’S DIARY

Virginia Woolf 1

Virginia Woolf

A Writer’s Diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #1

Explaining
in Virginia Woolf’s words,
the major reasons why
it is an essential means
to learn writing
by keeping a writer’s diary.

It exercises your mind,
no censorship,
and someday
you can use
to create
your own
autobiography.

In “The Writer’s Diary,”
Virginia Woolf, herself,
wrote unedited,
free flow,
stream of consciousness
and is
quite intelligent.

In the opening,
some words
from Leonard Woolf,
Virginia Woolf’s husband.

I find
a real
understanding
of
Virginia Woolf.

I feel
as if I can
hear her voice
speaking
through
her words.

The excerpts
will be
an ongoing
presentation
of
Virginia
Woolf.

Virginia Woolf's Monk's House Garden

Virginia Woolf’s Monk’s House Garden

virginia woolf 3

Virginia Woolf

The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death

tell me a story
The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death
TED Talk: Steve Cave
Notations by Jennifer Kiley
Created 6th January 2014
Posted On Thursday 27th February 2014
TELL ME A STORY

The 4 stories we tell ourselves about death

One day we realize we will die.

Bias: Where we get things wrong.

4 stories of Immortality:

Story 1: ELIXIR – [Myth of the Fountain of Youth] We want to avoid death. Science can cure death.

Story 2: RESURRECTION – I am this body. I can rise up & live again. [Reincarnation] Cryonics is having yourself frozen.

Story 3: SOUL – Leave body behind. Live on as a Soul.

Story 4: LEGACY – Live on through your work. Live on through your echo fame.

Be skeptical of all these stories we believe because we are biased. Because we are afraid pf death. Fear of death is natural but not rational. Too scary to believe we will be gone.

Quote from Ludwig Wittgenstein: “Death is not an event in life. We do not live to experience death.”

Our lives are bound by birth and death.

You just make it a good story – your life.

43,000 Feet

tell me a story
SKYFALL: 43,000 Feet
Vimeo Video Discovered by JkM the secret keeper
Created Post 27th January 2014
Posted on Thursday 13th February 2014
TELL ME A STORY

INTELLIGENTLY CREATIVE

43,000 Feet – Campbell Hooper

When statistician John Wilkins is sucked out of a plane at
43000 feet, he calculates that he has exactly 3 minutes and
48 seconds before he hits the ground.

Director: Campbell Hooper
Producers: Heather Lee, Amber Easby
Director of Photography: Andrew Stroud
Writer: Matthew Harris
Exec. Producers: Rob Sarkies, Vicky Pope
Sales Agent: NZ Film

with Dylan Pharazyn as John Wilkins

This short was funded by the New Zealand Film Commission.

campbellhooper.tv

Uploaded 26th January 2014

Amazing Visions: Immerse In Waterfalls Till the End

amazing visions
Amazing Visions: Immerse In Waterfalls Till the End
Vimeo Videos Discovered by JkM the secret keeper
Created 22nd January 2014
Posted On Wednesday 29th January 2014
AMAZING VISIONS

HIGH DEFINITION & HEADPHONES FOR BETTER EXPERIENCE

BEAUTIFUL WATERFALLS & VISIONS OF NATURE

The Waters of Greenstone

from Nathan Kaso. For All Audiences. Timelapse sequences.

Shot around the South Island of New Zealand over three weeks, The Waters of Greenstone explores the ever changing landscapes of the Catlins Forest Park, Fiordland NP, Queenstown, Mount Aspiring NP, Mount Cook NP, Arthurs Pass NP and Castle Hill.

The soundtrack was produced by Tom Day soundcloud.com/tomday

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

APOCALYPSE RHYME IS INNOVATIVE TILL THE END

Apocalypse Rhyme
Poem-Animation-Sound by Oliver Harrison

oliverharrison.com

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

IMMERSIVES IS TOTALLY CAPTIVATING

Immersives – Directed by Adrien Servadio

Amazing Visions: Pathways Through the Process of Life

amazing visions
Amazing Visions: A Pathways Through the Process of Life
Vimeo Videos Discovered by Jk the secret keeper
Created Post on 20th January 2014
Posted On Wednesday 22nd January 2014
AMAZING VISIONS

“A path of signs through the emotions of life.
A tribute to the art and her disarming beauty.”

I PLACE A WARNING THIS VIDEO CONTAINS ARTISTIC NUDITY-SEXUALITY-FAITH-VIOLENCE
MADNESS-POSSESSION-BEAUTY. IT SHOULDN’T BE NECESSARY TO WARN ADULTS.
NO CHILDREN ALLOWED PAST THIS POINT.
WHAT YOU WILL SEE IS BEAUTIFUL-EXPRESSIONS OF LOVE-NAKEDNESS
RELIGIOUS FERVOR-VIOLENCE-BIBLICAL VIOLENCE-DEATH-ANGELS
NATURE
IT’S ALL NATURAL

Beauty – Director Rino Stefano Tagliafierro

*        *        *        *        *        *       *

THE VISIONS WILL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY

In the Cave of Wonders

It begins in the mode of storytelling. The big reveal will come to those with patience & awe will be revealed. AWE & AMAZEMENT & BEAUTY @>-;—

*        *        *        *        *        *        *

OMINOUS? PERSONS OF INTEREST

Transparent Machines

We want safety. We Want privacy. Do we need to give up one for the other? Is it frightening to know others know all the superficial things about us? What does it matter? Our inner being is always changing. Much too difficult to follow by any intangible object. What are we protecting our selves from?

The Myth of the Gay Agenda

tell me a story
The Myth of the Gay Agenda
TED Talk: LZ Granderson
Notations by Jennifer Kiley
Created 3rd July 2013
Posted On Thursday 7th November 2013
TELL ME A STORYY

LZ Granderson — The Myth of the Gay Agenda

Published on Jun 15, 2012

In a humorous talk with an urgent message, LZ Granderson points out the absurdity in the idea that there’s a “gay lifestyle,” much less a “gay agenda.”

“The Evil Gay Life Style”

1. I drink coffee. Gay people love coffee.
2. I get stuck in traffic. That happens to gay people all the time.
3. I feed my kids. Gay people have kids. And they are always needing food.
4. They make a mess & so do I. It’s something gay people do.
5. I prepare food for them. They eat a lot. Gay people prepare food all the time.
6. How many of you are in love? You might be gay. Be careful, I here that being in love is gay. It’s part of the gay life style I’ve been telling you about.
7. How many are single? You, too, might be gay. I know some gay people who are single.

Gay Agenda is the U.S. Constitution. Run for your heterosexual lives.

Yet there is no protection in some states. Gays can be thrown out of our apartments. Lose our jobs. Be denied adopting children. We just want the same rights as everyone else. It’s as simple as that. Equality.

Notations by Jennifer Kiley

Our Life Hides From Us. . .

poetry out loud - day title saturday
Our Life Hides From Us…
Proust Recitation reading by Alan Rickman
Transposed by Jennifer Kiley
Post Created Saturday 19th October 2013
Posted On Saturday 26th October 2013
Poetry Out Loud

Proust Recitation — Alan Rickman

Proust Recitation: Our Life Hides Us…

I think life would seem wonderful to us
If we were threatened suddenly to die
Just think of how many projects,
Travels, love affairs, studies,
It, our life hides from us,
Made invisible by our laziness
Which, certain of the future,
Delays them incessantly.

But let all this threaten to become
Impossible, forever, how beautiful
It would become again!
Ah! If only the cataclysm doesn’t happen
This time, we won’t miss visiting the galleries
Of the Louvre, throwing ourselves at the feet
Of Miss X, making a trip to India.

The cataclysm doesn’t happen, we don’t do
Any of it, because we find ourselves back
In the heart of normal life, where negligence
Deadens desire, and yet we shouldn’t have
Needed the cataclysm to love life today. It
Would have been enough to think that we are
Humans, and that death may come that evening.

~ Marcel Proust
candle flame w hand gif