“The Known and the Unknown” #1

a writer's word polished or rawThe Known and the Unknown – #1
Excerpts from the Essay “Fail Safe”
Written by Debbie Millman
Post by Jennifer Kiley
Post Sunday 20th July 2014
The Essay titled “Fail Safe”
Taken From Anthology
Look Both Ways: Illustrated Essays
on the Intersection of Life and Design

Debbie Millman is an Artist
Strategist & Interviewer

“Fail Safe”  The Essay-Explores Existential Skills-Living With Uncertainty-Embracing The Unfamiliar-Allowing For Not Knowing-Cultivating What John Keats Famously Termed “Negative Capability”

psychedelic cat

The Known and the Unknown – #1

For most of my life I followed
a safe path. I remember in vivid
detail the moment I began the
journey August 1983, the hot
MUGGY SUMMER OF
“SYNCHRONICITY”
and
“MODERN LOVE.”
A few months out of
COLLEGE
I stood on the corner of
seventh avenue and
BLEEKER STREET
IN NEW YORK City
wearing pastel-blue balloon
trousers, a hot PINK V-neck
T-shirt
and
bright White Capezio Oxfords.
I lingered at the intersection
peering deep into my future
contemplating the choice
between the secure
and the uncertain
between the creative
and the LOGICAL…

- Debbie Millman

blk & wht fluid abstract painting

“The Known and the Unknown” Part 1 - Jennifer Kiley

Remember

“Do What You LOVE

“Artifact” My Biography – Joshua Snow

white dragon jr snow facing to rightI would like to mark the
13th of July 2014 as the date I formally Introduced
J.R. Snow, a young emerging writer. For the past
three Sundays, he has been our Guest Artist and
his work, in the form of a three part short
story, has been presented here on
‘the secret keeper.’
Thank You Joshua
Jennifer Kiley
jkm

white dragon jr snow

Now it is time for the writer to come out from
behind his worded mask of storytelling and
talk to us about himself and his aspirations.
The following is J.R.’s
introduction of himself
in his own words.
Thank you ALL. Now I
give you - J.R. Snow

 

Artifact
My Biography

Joshua Snow

“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.” – Roald Dahl

There are a lot of things I wish to say in this, things I wish to express and explain, but words can only describe so much. My name is Joshua Snow. If you’re a Game of Thrones fan like me, you probably already caught onto the fact that my last name is Snow and you know what it means. Yes, I have been told that I know nothing. (Another Game of Thrones reference) However, people are just trying to be funny rather than rude. Besides that, allow me to introduce myself.

Dragon Spirit for j.r. snow bioI live in Texas, a very big place deep in the south. Within this very big state I live in Houston. To put it bluntly, I do not like it here. Its too hot, not enough forest and mountains, and the winters are too short. I plan to move up north someday to some place I feel like I belong. I am 19 and I will be turning 20 this year in August. I am currently enrolled in college classes for the first time and will be starting June 2nd. A lot of change is coming my way, and for the most part, it has been scary to feel.

Now I bet you’re all wondering, “What is a child like me doing talking about myself?” Well, besides what I just told you, I am a writer. A creator. A daydreamer. My mind is always somewhere. I was always that kid in class caught with his head up in the clouds. Even my principal said so when I graduated high school.

I’m fascinated with anything magical, and most of all, anything having to do with dragons. Dragons to me are the most wonderful beings in the world. I read about them as a kid and I have dragon décor all over my room. I have a Celtic dragon flag that’s rather large, a dragon poster by the wonderful artist Christina Yen, a dragon clock, dragon books, Dragon’s Blood incense, (I promise its not really made of dragon’s blood) dragon pendants and a dragon incense holder as well as a box with a dragon laying on it. I’m pretty sure that’s all of it. Dragons are like family to me and I strongly believe they are my guardian angels. I’ve dreamed about them a lot too and I’ve had a lot of dreams of flying. I get a running start and I just leap off my own two feet and fly. There was one particular dream where I was flying with a lot of dragons and a green one stood out to me.

Awesome dragon Poster facing rightI’ve been working on a big fantasy story for the past three years now. I’ve rewritten it a lot of times, and combining all those rewrites, I don’t doubt in my mind I’d go up to 300-400 pages. The characters are probably the closest part to perfect out of the whole story. The plot is still in motion and being worked out in detail and I also drew a map of the world.

I’ve planned for this to be a series of books. I designed the characters via a certain video game where I was allowed to create my own fighter and I designed them through that. I created eighty-two characters until I found the very few I desired. Out of all of those, the few I kept are probably six or seven. My most precious character I created is a Seraphina, a dragon who can transform into a woman with long, white hair and keeps the beautiful blue eyes I gave her. She’s the last one who carries the power of old magic inside her, magic that no longer exists in the world.

In the world I created, magic is dying. Other species like elves no longer exist, and dragons and humans are the only ones known to be alive. However, humans can use magic as well. There are witches and mages, good and evil. I never liked the idea that witches and wizards were all evil anyway. I found it to be tasteless and narrow minded. Also, in the world, there is a war going on. It is a private war, one that is hidden from public knowledge. No one is aware of but those involved. I do have deeper details but I do not wish to spoil. I hate spoilers myself. The entire series is inspired by the idea that despite all of cruelty, corruption and darkness in the world, there is always a chance for happiness. There is such a thing as a happy ending. Its just that not everyone gets one, and those who do get one are blessed. Not everyone gets a happy ending, sadly, for everyone who deserved one.

dragon white looking left into the sea while sitting on a ledgeAs for magical things, I do believe there is some sort of magic in the world. From what I’ve felt and seen, I can’t doubt it. I can no longer think it’s as simple as science and logic. I had a friend once who told me the reason spiritual things were still around was because you can’t prove them wrong because that individual believes it so much, so it carries on, and you can’t prove them right because there’s no physical proof or evidence to show to people. If I believe in a so-called god, I cannot call this so called god and have you meet him in person. I cannot show you a spirit of a dead person or show you a dragon or something magical with my own hands. His logic and reasoning were very interesting, and he actually offered to hear my opinions and to tell me if I was wrong, but I decided not to.

All I know, and believe, is that there is something in matters of spirit and magic. And through things I wish to write like a short story or this big fantasy story I spoke of, I wish to share that. I believe magic breathes through everything, I believe in different dimensions, spirits, souls, guardian angels, and past lives. I believe everything has a life and a spirit and a name. Everything is like a little artifact. It has its own identity, meaning, and its come from something. Everything has an origin. Everything comes to us for a reason. That’s what I ultimately believe. Everything happens for a reason.

joshua snow 9th june 2014
 

If you want to contact

Author J.R. Snow
[Joshua Snow]

Please Use Contact Windows

Below Music Video

hand letting go of golden flecks gif


Evanescence - Together Again

Please Feel Free To Contact Joshua Snow. Fill Out The Windows Below With Questions &/or Comments. They will be forwarded to Joshua.

Thank you.   jkm the secret keeper

*        *        *        *        *        *        *

“Tears” Part Three “Timeless Human”

a writer's word polished or raw

*      *       *       *       *       *       *

I would like to introduce to you J.R. Snow, a young emerging writer.
A major influence in J.R.’s writing is the magical & spiritual
interconnectedness between Dragons & people.

I am delighted to open up ‘the secret keeper’ to present J.R.’s work.
Whenever he has written something he feels he would like to share,
I will post his work here as a Guest Artist.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

“Tears” – A Short Story
In Three Parts
Timeless Human” – Part Three
Written by Guest Writer J.R. Snow
Post Sunday 6th July 2014

“Only love can reach into a human’s heart, piece it back together and make it more beautiful.”

white dragon jr snow

“Timeless Human”
by J.R. Snow

He looked at me confused. I couldn’t spit out any other phrase besides, “I am sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say because I was overwhelmed. There was so much inside him that he’s wanted to show, not just anyone, but me. He desired to share love and happiness with me but he fears rejection and heartbreak, two horrible things I never intend to give.

I saw tears begin to run down his eyes and I felt a lot of guilt and sadness. “What’s wrong? Did I do something wrong?” He was blaming himself when there was no need to. In the moment, I lunged at him, my lips pressing against his hard and passionately. His emotions exploded. Everything began to pour out. It hurt to feel all of it, but it was a good kind of pain. He held me tight, fighting to hold me as hard as he could, and just continued to kiss me back. In that moment, I felt everything. I then realized how much he loved me and how much I truly loved him.

The whole day we stayed together, but that night, I came to him wearing a white dress, wearing nothing else underneath. He smiled widely seeing me again. Tonight was the first night of winter, and the first chill would arrive tonight. I intended to keep him warm for the whole night and beyond, for as long as the sun and moon rose and set beyond the mountains and forests.

When he held my hands this time, I held back with force, letting him know I wanted him like he did. I told him how I loved him and wished to make sure he never felt lonely again for the rest of his life. He smiled and I saw a single tear leave one of his eyes. I then wiped it away. He then said to me, “I’ve never felt so happy in my entire life.” I then began to kiss him.

He felt my warm back and held me tightly, not wanting to let go. I could feel his need for me in how tight his fingers wrapped around me. All of the passion spoke to me in the kiss. Our lips didn’t leave each other. However, I know what he truly desired. He wanted to make love to me in the most intense way possible. He wished to feel my naked body and please me. I knew whenever his hand began to lower itself towards the wet warmth beneath me, feeling me softly and lovingly. With a free hand he simply helped my dress fall, and that night, I felt all of the passion and love he had for me pour from his mouth, his hands and the rest of him. Even though he was no immortal, he was timeless to me, and soon he would be.

huge & little dragon together sm

 *      *       *       *       *       *       *

If you wish to contact the Author J.R. Snow
Please Feel Free to Use the Contact Windows Below

Private Writings: Chapter #68 – “Loving You Loving Me”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Loving You Loving Me”
Private Writings #68
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 1st July 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #68 “Loving You Loving Me”

Tuesday 23rd December 2008

Dear Annie,

Once again I am writing to you after an insomniac’s night of twisted shadows. But mostly, my sleep was shallow. I feel more upset now than I did when I was writing to you before my dreams that turned into ‘the shadow’ nightmares. It was too bad for me to remember. She wants me to be tortured and she sure as Hell doesn’t want me telling you the secrets.

Between you and ‘the shadow’ you’ve got me twisted inside out and upside down. I am very confused about what I feel because I don’t know what I feel except I think it feels like what being in love would feel like. But I don’t even know what being in love is. This is something we really need to talk about.

When I feel love it wants me to tell you something. Something so hard for me to say. I wish I didn’t have to say it out loud. People get crazy when you say these words to them. But since I need for you to know I will say the words. Make believe I am saying these words out loud. Here I go, Annie, you mean everything to me and I never could bear losing you. But to be sure you know what my true feelings are I have to tell you, that I love you.

I know it is a powerful feeling. What we have between us, as therapist and client, is powerful. The energy is sometimes all consuming. What can I say, I know what I feel. It may not be real to you but it feels damned real to me and the next time I write I am going to tell you as honestly and directly as possible, what exactly I understand to be my feelings for you. When I tell you, I love you, I mean each word. The “I” that is spoken of is what is my Identity. Since I have a difficult time determining that, my commitment to what words I use are as strong as my connection with reality will allow.

As far as talking to ghosts, I will continue writing down what they are telling me. And I will ask Angie specifically, “What do you want from me?” But I figured out the answer to that question already. Angie wants me to help her catch her murderer. Hopefully without them trying to murder me first, the one who murdered Angie, the ghosts aren’t murdering me.

Don’t pay me any attention. This has developed into one of the most in sane weeks yet at Redcliff so far. Most of my section is filled with non-violent women, who have no idea who they are or why they are here. Helen is still completely silent. What happened to push her into the quiet space suddenly. She loved telling her stories. Even if she didn’t realize the stories she thought she was making up were actually about real people from her life. Someone filled me in on that.

And Lynn is getting rather obsessed with me. She follows me. Doesn’t say much but when any words pass her lips, it is very important to listen. Someone brushed her off the other day & I thought she was going to murder her. She went physical on her. They had to give her a shot & now she has disappeared. I miss her shadowing me. What do you think of that? I want a person to be near me. A stranger. Not me at all.

Even so, my feelings are more leveled off. Got some truth out from the shadows into the light. Light always frees the spirit of the secrets so they don’t need to hide any longer. It is such a relief when the secrets are set lose into freedom. They aren’t sure exactly what to do after they aren’t hidden any longer. I would prefer they would just fade away once they are no longer lethal.

You may ask, how are they so lethal? They could mean Death. Death by Murder or Death by Design or Death by Suicide. All are Death to the Soul and Innocence.

This feels like a good place to stop. While I still have the ability to think.

I switch up my thinking and feelings all the time. Bear in mind, a feeling today may change in a nano moment. The fickleness of my heart and mind breathe with the chemicals mixing inside my brain.

The brew that is true got lost in the blue that is the hue of the color in your eyes.

A visit with the March Hare & the Mad Hatter is pre-ordained to happen while confined in a facility that is relegated to those who seem to have lost control of their own lives, minds, confusions & chaos.

That is why I am going to stop now. Will finish it up in the morning & send it off then.

I know I don’t have to ask this but I feel I must, “Please don’t judge anything that comes out of this addled mind.” I only know how to speak the truth. Never wanted to learn how to lie. Maybe a “white” lie that would mean nothing but would hurt someone’s feelings. But then I don’t consider that lying. And even then I don’t often do that either. Censor my honesty. Telling the truth is a compulsion. It is most likely because of having to hide everything when I was growing up. Silence & more silence was the better way to survive. I may have survived but for what? So I could enter Hell when I was finally free from the first Hell?

I need to get stoned. Being here put me on edge & my panic attacks have blown out my guts. I am in constant pain physically as well as mentally & emotionally. I need to laugh. In the morning I am going to find something to write to you that is funny. I promise.

Goodnight. Ciao Ciao!!!

Madison

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

 

“Tears” Part Two “Invisible” – A Short Story

a writer's word polished or raw

*      *       *       *       *       *       *

I would like to introduce to you J.R. Snow, a young emerging writer.
A major influence in J.R.’s writing is the magical & spiritual
interconnectedness between Dragons & people.

I am delighted to open up ‘the secret keeper’ to present J.R.’s work.
Whenever he has written something he feels he would like to share,
I will post his work here as a Guest Artist.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

Tears” – A Short Story
In Three Parts
Invisible” – Part Two
Written by Guest Writer J.R. Snow
Post Saturday 29th June 2014

“Only love can reach into a human’s heart, piece it back together and make it more beautiful.”

white dragon jr snow

“Invisible”
by J.R. Snow

Ever since that day, I didn’t dare leave him alone unless he desired to be. I stood by his side whenever he stood out on the white, marble patio of his room to look out at the stone city and the mountains that circled it and stretched beyond. I kept him warm whenever he grew cold at night, turning to my true form to wrap my white wings around him. I lit warming fires and candles with the flames within me whenever he slept to keep the darkness away. He never liked the dark. It always made him feel like he wasn’t safe.

In my human form, I only looked a little older than he was. In the aging terms of an immortal, I was still very young. Maybe that’s why he got along with me so much, because I looked his age in human form, or maybe it has more to do with who I am. Whatever the reason, I began to see after that day when he cried in my arms his affection for me grew stronger. He would hold me when I lied next to him, hold my hands, and sometimes he would tell me how much I really mean to him. I remember what he said word for word. ‘I don’t feel alone anymore when I am with you. I feel like when you’re with me, I have everything I could ever ask for. I feel as if I had never felt lonely a day in my life.’ Those words made me smile. He also smiled back at me.

In the now he’s going to be 20 soon. His years of becoming a man are growing near. Knowing he was growing older, and I forever would be like this, began to pain me. I knew as he grew that he was getting closer and closer to the end of his days. I hated the thought of that. I didn’t want to see this mortal die and wither away like the others. I wanted him to stay, to breathe an immortal life, for I felt he deserved it.

On the first cold night of winter, I came to him, and I looked at him in the eyes. He looked back into mine. He then grabbed my hands and said to me, “I . . . really want to tell you that I . . . really like you.” He found it hard to spit out all the words. His shyness was getting the best of him and I simply smiled.

I leaned in close to him and whispered to him, “I know.” He smiled wide, wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I could feel all of the emotions bottled up inside him, emotions he’s wanted to express for years but has never been able to. There was so much love and sadness and pain inside him, more than I ever felt in any mortal in my life.
His deepest emotions and desires filled me. He wanted me to love him back desperately, and he wanted to express just how much he desired me, for I was the only female being in his life who stayed. All of it was overflowing him on the inside. It was like he was reaching an edge, like he can’t take it anymore. I began to cry. I did not bother to feel him like this before, and I should have years ago. I could have saved him a lot of suffering and a lot of tears. Concern filled his eyes and covered his face, and I looked up at him and said, “I’m sorry.”

huge & little dragon together sm

*      *       *       *       *       *       *

If you wish to contact the Author J.R. Snow
Please Feel Free to Use the Contact Windows Below

Private Writings: Chapter #67 – “Twisting Inside Shouting Out Loud”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]“Twisting Inside Shouting Out Loud”
Private Writings #67
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 24th June 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #67 “Twisting Inside Shouting Out Loud”

Tuesday 16th December 2008

Dear Annie,

If I don’t know who I am, how will I know what I should do?

I have been writing non-stop except for sleep, creating a variety of ideas for my play. I’m rather exhausted. But can’t stop needing to create.

I have been having these phrases popping up inside my head. I finally wrote them down on a blank page on WORD. I am going to use them as the beginning of a scene.

I have to believe I am not going to grow old inside this weird mind melting place. Just wiser and I will only allow them to take a touch of my madness. I will need and use the rest for myself.

I think I am about to write you one of my more in sane letters, much more in sane.

I found a bloody good twist for the play. “Far more things occur in dark spaces and from the other side than we are aware of.” My own quote, made it up just now. Play on one of Shakespeare’s lines. Did a few modifications.

It keeps me up late, thinking about my play. I want to find the exact words & to keep my characters to as few lines as possible & still contain what my story is meant to be. What it is that I am trying to say with all the words I give the actors.

I was searching for songs last night to inspire me. Listened to great stuff & found the pieces of music I was looking for. One song stood out. I listened to it repeatedly. Doing that takes me to the zone. It lifts me up and gives my subconscious something to work out for me, and when the Muse is ready, she feeds me what I am going to do.

The play is meant to be about love – the strongest most powerful energy in the universe. It is also about love that is going to slip away. Knowing it is going to happen before anyone else does, even the person it is going to happen to.

How would you like to have that ability? The power to know things before they happen to other people. My play has an element of that contained within it. Don’t want to give too much a way. You have to see it performed on stage to find out what happens. This is only the second process I am in now. Living life was the first. The second is fictionalizing my experiences with what I’ve learned from living. There is a third & eventually a sequel which will lead me into the fourth part, writing the screenplay. That may end the process or open up into another world.

I may be sounding vague but I like to be a mystery. Mysterious. It is what keeps me alive – wondering & trying to understand what is inside what we don’t know or ever will know while we are mortal.

Since I am mortal, I would like to ask the question Why. Why am I talking to ghosts and they are returning their side of the conversation. I may think a long time before I decide whether you will ever see any of this letter. I will be honest just the same.

I see dead people. I use to say I saw dead people when I was asleep. But now they have decided to visit me when I am trying to get back my sanity. After my group sessions or after I’ve met with Dr. V. They even interrupt me when I am writing to you. Tosh may not know you but Angie sure does. She has been hanging around you until she found me & Dr. George.

I need sleep, so I am going to finish this letter tomorrow, unless I wake up in the middle of the night. Sleeping here without my weed is making my insomnia unbearable. When I do sleep it is just tossing the covers all over. When my eyes open in an attempt to view the world to see if it is still here, I find myself completely twisted up in the covers like I was playing B & D.

Chin Chin Annie. I will think of you as I try to fall asleep. Your face will calm me. If I hear your voice, it would just add to my calmness.

Love Fondly,

Madison

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

 

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

“Tears” Part One “The Mortal” – A Short Story

a writer's word polished or raw

*      *       *       *       *       *       *

I would like to introduce to you J.R. Snow, a young emerging writer.
A major influence in J.R.’s writing is the magical & spiritual
interconnectedness between Dragons & people.

I am delighted to open up ‘the secret keeper’ to present J.R.’s work.
Whenever he has written something he feels he would like to share,
I will post his work here as a Guest Artist.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

Tears” – A Short Story
In Three Parts
The Mortal” – Part One
Written by Guest Writer J.R. Snow
Post Sunday 22nd June 2014

“Only love can reach into a human’s heart, piece it back together and make it more beautiful.”

white dragon jr snow

“The Mortal”
by J.R. Snow

I have lived for so many years. So many centuries have I watched as mortal creatures wither and die, their soul passing from this world. Some come back but some go elsewhere, to another world, another realm where their desires and questions rest. I have lived many mortal lives, for I am timeless, a being of infinite life. Through all of these years I have felt so many different kinds of pain, happiness, anger, sadness and love. However, despite all of my knowledge and wisdom, loneliness always reaches for me.

Out of all my years of living, learning, observing, I see that mortals are capable of so much. It saddens me to see that they are finite, for they are capable of so much, yet their deepest darkness holds them back from greatness. But they are capable of wisdom and knowledge like us, and despite their counted days, they are also capable of love that outlasts even their lifetime.

Not all of us see what I see in them. Some see them as “lesser” life forms, a parasite, a sickness, something that should not exist. It is sad that not all can see it, for they hold a beauty and kindness that we have ourselves, and that is the ability to create something that lasts forever, rather it be love or knowledge. And they can do it without needing all of the time the universe offers.

However, this story is not about them, but it is about one. One I know. One I have watched. One I admire greatly. I have seen him grow from a child to a young man. While I am not human like him, I could become one if I desired. He finds me fascinating and beautiful, for he tells me with a smile on his face and shyness in his voice. While I have seen so many mortal men who are ruthless, crude or vile, he was anything but. Despite his youth, deep down I still see that innocent child who desires nothing but to be happy.

I remember the day when he came to me in tears. He was seventeen. In my human form, I wrapped my arms around him and said, “What is wrong hun?” Such a word brings him comfort.

He responded with, “I’ve been alone for so long. I have no friends to bond with and no woman who feels affection for me. I have never felt so alone in my life.” Such words tore me apart. Hearing him cry was painful, for I desired nothing but happiness for him, and seeing tears come from his eyes only made me feel like I had failed to bring it to him.

huge & little dragon together sm

*      *       *       *       *       *       *

If you wish to contact the Author J.R. Snow
Please Feel Free To Use the Contact Windows Below

“I Am One of the Searchers”

a writer's word polished or raw

“I Am One of the Searchers”

By James Kavanaugh

Post by Jennifer Kiley

Posted on Sunday 15th June 2014

water ocean gif

sun rays into forest“I Am One of the Searchers”  There are, I believe, millions of us. We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand. We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well. Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know. Unless it be to share our laughter.

sunrise in the mountainsWe searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide.Most of all we love and want to be loved. We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, not prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to have to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

river thru rock walls  by cocoaaaaa

For wanderers, dreamers, and lovers,

for lonely men and women

who dare to ask from life everything

good and beautiful. It is for those who

are too gentle to live among wolves.

— James Kavanaugh

[There Are Men Too Gentle To Live Among Wolves]

rain on window in the city gif

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Private Writings #65 – “I Said Hello You Said Goodbye”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“I Said Hello You Said Goodbye”
Private Writings #65
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 10th June 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #65. “I Said Hello You Said Goodbye”

Tuesday 2nd December 2008

Dear Annie,

Tell me what it is to be sexually attracted to someone whether you are a lesbian or straight. I feel so fucked up and suicidal right now and overwhelmed with anxiety. Confusion fills my mind. I need to draw from something sane to stabilize myself.

Something wants to take over my body or thoughts. It could be the voice I feel is coming from a ghost.

There has also been something very bizarre occurrences of objects moving, sudden winds, books fall off shelves, rather more like books being thrown off bookshelves and desks by invisible forces. The aberration has been very angry today and quite destructive. It’s either a ghost or my telekinetic energy mad as hell and sending out tremendous amounts from a negative energy flow, causing waves of the power to move objects and send them sailing.

It is odd but I have no feelings. I’ve shut them down. I may be trying to escape but I can’t. My life won’t leave me alone. It demands attention. It doesn’t like being all fucked up. My life is always with me no matter where I try to escape or into what insane state of mind that I produce. All the shit will still be here facing me down. There’s far too much pressure for me to handle safely. I have cracked in many vulnerable places. They feel like they could blow my mind away at any moment in & outside of time. I believe the rest of what is “me” would disappear with it.

For a quick moment, I would like to profess or confess, I HATE MY FAMILY, the part that tried destroying me. The pedophiles who forced me into experiencing their perverse needs and desires. They satisfied them on me. Stealing my innocence inside of their perversions. Presently, my gut feels like they have cut my insides open in order to watch me fall out & splatter over everything & everywhere. It is the most disgusting display of gross intentions.

I am Humpty Dumpty & no matter how hard I have tried, No One Seems To Be Able To Succeed In Putting Me Back Together Again. Nor Will They Ever, I Feel. Hope feels lost amongst the ruins of my once intricately commanding mind. I have failed or haven’t succeeded beating them back enough, far away from my center of being. Their corruption has infected me & I haven’t found there is a cure for the poisons they possess.

If I could have the dream life I wished for, not much would change. I love my new family. I never see the old one. The grandparents I love are gone. My grandmother is with me, inside every part of me, especially my heart & soul. She lifts me up into the sky to soar while I dream. When I am awake, my Muse & my grandmother are quite the pair when they work on me together. Sparks fly out of my fingers as I type on the keyboard. As the words appear on the page, I can see the flames licking the screen & feel their warmth caressing the meaning from out of the free flowing air around us. It is quite mystical & pixelated when those two are involved.

What I don’t understand is why was I born if life were only here to crush me? I feel my chest taking in air & the pain engulfs me. Something punches my body while I sleep. It feels like I lose every battle on any night they’re out to batter me. Who “they” are, I would conjecture they are “EVIL” & belong to the deepest Blackness where demons hide out in the Dark. I was born Good & it has always been necessary to try to destroy that strong element inside of me. But I am a fighter with a strength coming from the Unknown, which seems to want me to win the battle. All of the Battles, even if it feels like I have already lost & resigned.

Can’t wait to see your face looking back at me. I need to see your eyes. They give me strength & kindness. I need to be close to you & want you to hold me. Make me a promise, never to let me go.

Time for Group Therapy. We are talking about what we Feel is Real Today. What the Fuck is Real? It doesn’t exist. Reality. It is what is the Illusion. Fantasy & Imagination Are the True World while We Are Awake. HELL is where We Live when We Trip through Our Own Private Dreams. The Theory that the World Is Watching Is Only A Way To Jerk the Trolls of Nightmares Around into Believing in the Fake Reality. The One that Is Presented to Us through the Faux Media. It Is All A Manipulated Illusionary Perception We Are Meant To Believe In.

I will leave that last thought with you to Ponder. Maybe she [Me] has lost her mind somewhere in the swamp of Hell & Fire.

Don’t worry I am still here somewhere inside of my own mind.

Will write more soon.

Just How Many More Days Do I Have To Count Until I Am Released From My Own Private Prison?

Love Fondly,

Madison

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Somewhere In Time – Composer John Barry

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

negative of le chateau de rocher by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

A Writer’s Diary: Virginia Woolf —Part #15

a writer's diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #15
Excerpts from Virginia Woolf
Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created 24th March 2014
Posted Sunday 8th June 2014
A WRITER’S DIARY

Virginia Woolf 1

Virginia Woolf

A Writer’s Diary
Virginia Woolf – Part #15

December 29th, 1940
Virginia Woolf at 58 yrs.

There are
moments
when
the sail
flaps.

Then,
being
a great
amateur
of the art
of life,

determined
to suck
my orange,
off,
like a wasp
if the blossom
I’m on
fades,
as it did
yesterday

I ride
across
the downs
to the cliffs.

A roll
of barbed
wire
is hooped
on the edge.

I rubbed
my mind
brisk
along
the
Newhaven
road.

Shabby
old maids
buying
groceries,

in that
desert road
with
the villas;
in the wet.

And
Newhaven
gashed.

But tire
the body
and
the mind
sleeps.

All desire
to write
diary
here
has
flagged.

What is
the right
antidote?

I must
sniff round.
I think
Mme.
de Sevigne.

Writing
to be
a daily
pleasure.

I detest
the hardness
of old age

I feel it.

I rasp.

I’m tart.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

3 Months later on 28th March 1941 Virginia Woolf filled her coat pockets with
Stones, walked into the River Ouse near her home in Sussex and drowned herself.
Headlines stated she had disappeared but it was suspected she was dead. Three
weeks after she committed suicide by drowning, she was found. Leonard Woolf
had her cremated. Virginia Woolf’s ashes were buried under the intertwined Elm
Trees, nicknamed “Virginia and Leonard” by them, at Monk’s House, their Summer
Home. Both their homes in London had been destroyed by bombs during World
War II.  Leonard Woolf, Virginia’s husband, was devastated. She left a note for
him and one for her sister Vanessa Bell. There was a huge outpouring from
friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, fans and admirers who were send-
ing their condolences. It was a shock to all, the loss of Virginia Woolf.

At the bottom of post I will leave a copy of the suicide note
Virginia Woolf wrote for her husband Leonard Woolf.

These are the last passages from Virginia Woolf’s A Writer’s Diary, BUT ONLY TEMPORARILY.

I will be presenting further excerpts
from Virginia Woolf’s A Writer’s Diary in the near future.

Thank You For Following Her Brilliant Words as her Gift to All of Us.

THANK YOU VIRGINIA WOOLF FOR BEING SO GENEROUS.
WE HAVE YOUR GIFTS TO LEARN FROM & WE ARE ABLE
TO ABSORB FROM THE DEPTH OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE, YOUR
BRILLIANCE & YOUR SENSITIVITY. I KNOW I AM GRATEFUL
TO HAVE FOUND YOU. YOU ARE IMPORTANT TO ME. I FEEL
THE PAIN YOU SUFFERED & HOPE YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE.

Virginia Woolf's Monk's House Garden

Virginia Woolf’s Monk’s House Garden

virginia woolf 3

Virginia Woolf

Erik Satie: Gnossienne No. 1, 2, 3

 *       *       *       *       *       *       *

Virginia Woolf’s Handwritten Suicide Note to Her Husband Leonard
A Painful & Poignant Farewell [28th March 1941]

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.

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