Private Moments #79 “Raining Through the Pain”

private moments in paintings & poetry“Raining Through the Pain”
Private Moments #79
Poem Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post 15th September 2014

Poem for Private Writings: Chapter #79 - “In Our Hours of Darkness”

purple raining lady (c) jkm 2014

Purple Raining Lady (c) jkm 

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~ (1563-1631)

hands reaching out into rain

“Raining Through the Pain”
Madison Taylor
10th March 2009

Raining through the pain
The strain of tears falling
The inside is outside
Crawling on the skin
Scraping the outer surface away

Raw is the screaming
The mind cannot control
When trying to reach out
Letting hands reach back in return
Feeling the pain surging through the veins

Losing someone is cruel
Living’s practical joke
No one is laughing
The creation of death
Should’ve been carefully considered

It is too late
It is in its place
Where it will stay
Until eternity turns around
And reverses its self

© jkm ’08

candle flame flickering gif

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - Composer Rachmaninoff – Pianist Maksim Mrvica

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p

“Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”

— Jkm the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

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“The Known and the Unknown” – #9

a writer's word polished or rawThe Known and the Unknown – #9
Excerpts from the Essay “Fail Safe”
Written by Debbie Millman
Post Sunday 14th September 2014

The Essay titled “Fail Safe”
Taken From Anthology
Look Both Ways: Illustrated Essays
on the Intersection of Life and Design

Debbie Millman is an Artist
Strategist & Interviewer

“Fail Safe” The Essay-Explores Existential Skills-Living With Uncertainty-Embracing The Unfamiliar-Allowing For Not Knowing-Cultivating What John Keats Famously Termed “Negative Capability”

psychedelic cat

The Known and the Unknown – #9

I recommend
the following
of action

for those
who are just
their careers


for those
like me,
who may be
midway through

heed the words
of Robert Frost

Start with
a big
fat Lump
in your throat

start with
a profound

a deep homesickness

or a crazy
Love Sickness

and run
with it.

If you
imagine less

less is
what you


don’t stop
you get
you Love.

as hard
as you can






20 years
from now

two weeks
from now.


blk & wht fluid abstract painting

“The Known and the Unknown” Part #9 - Jennifer Kiley


“Do What You LOVE

“Another Day”

creative musings [dragon]

“Another Day”

Sung by Roy Harper

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Saturday 13th September 2014


sad-heart moon stars & clouds in sky

“Another Day” - Roy Harper

“Another Day”

The kettle’s on,
the sun has gone
another day
She offers me Tibetan tea
on a flower tray

She’s at the door,
she wants to score
She dearly needs to say

I loved you a long time ago, you know
Where the wind’s own forget-me-nots blow
But I just couldn’t let myself go
not knowing what on earth there was to know.

But I wish that I had ’cause I’m feeling so sad
that I never had one of your children.

And across the room, inside a tomb
our chance is waxed and wanes
The night is young,
why are we so hung up
in each others chains?


I must take her,
I must make her
while the dove domains
and feel the juice run as she flies
run my wings under her sighs
as the flames of eternity rise
to lick us with the first born lash of dawn.

Oh really my dear
I can’t see what we fear
Sat here with ourselves in between us.

And at the door
we can’t say more
than just “another day”
and without a sound
I turn around
and I walk away.

glowing muted sun sky rounded edges

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“Reflection” – A Short Film


i heart short films
“Reflection” - A Short Film
The Imagination Series
Post Created by Jennifer Kiley
Created on 3rd May 2014
Posted Friday 12 September 2014

A meal is supposed to be comforting
but it’s not meant to lead you from a comfort zone
into a confusing situation that is confounding
as well as WTF is happening. STOP!!!
Don’t want to reveal even cryptically
at what happens in the scary Ut-OH!!!
kind of moments our couple find themselves.

Watch with caution. Beware Reflections. Boo!!!

here, i give you, “Reflections”

“Reflection” – The Imagination Series


The award winning short film series returns with Academy Award® Winning Writer Geoffrey Fletcher’s new script. One of Five Films based on the same outline script, Reflections tells a fantastical tale of a beautiful couple in beautiful surroundings – it should have been the start of the ultimate love story. But a romantic meal turns dark when they discover a hidden mirror which shows their true reflection.

From the Imagination of Anthony Khaseria
Based on the Outline script by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Reflection” – The Imagination Series

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“The Art of Seduction”

tell me a story


“The Art of Seduction”

TED Talk: Seema Anand

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Thursday 11th September 2014


Let us start with Creation. According to Hindu, creation is more than a one being’s job. In order to create the world there needs to be three beings 1. To Create 2. To Preserve 3. To Destroy.

Rama created Men & Women differently. Shiva & his wife created a manual to teach the Arts of Seduction. Sexual Energy is the most powerful energy of the world

In the Karmasutra, it says Men & Women need to learn 64 skills for the Art of Seduction. Skills of the Art of Seduction was not just meant for women, it is also meant for Men. What does a man have to be? He has to be rich. Translate this to a Gay Life Style, one would follow the same rules, both in the relationship would need to learn these skills in order to manifest ones Sexual Energy. As I wrote earlier, Sexual Energy is the most Powerful Energy of the World.

Divide the 64 skills of your life into 4 stages. Each stage gets divided in 4 stages and those stages get divided in 4 stage. That gives us 16 branches which gives us 64, which stands for the totality of your life. These skills are meant to build up energy & power in order to actualize ones sexuality.

Cleopatra when she seduced Caesar, she used the method of always being happy when she spent time with her. She wanted to think & feel when he was away from her, he would remember the happiness he felt when with her. She wanted him all to herself.

Seema Anand’s favorite part of the Art of Seduction is perfuming your body. I love this idea myself. Nothing is more seductive then taking in the scent of perfume that one loves. It awakens ones senses in a wonderfully subtle way.

Hope you enjoy Seema Anand’s storytelling of The Art of Seduction, even though she feels the use of the word “Seduction” doesn’t quite feel right for describing the Art of expressing one’s Sexuality.

- jennifer kiley

The Art of Seduction – Seema Anand – TED TALK

The ancient arts of Courtesanery and Seduction were once treated as high philosophy, with divine and academic associations. Dr. Seema Anand explores how these narratives have been lost and in the evolution of their vocabulary, the implications have changed.

Working with the range of what ‘story’ can mean to an individual Seema facilitates the learning processes of ‘telling’, ‘listening’, ‘acknowledging’ and ‘rejecting’ the narratives that make up our lives and our social interactions to enhance communication, build links and open dialogue.

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Haunting Visions: ‘Build A Pyre [Begin Again]‘

haunting visions
“Build a Pyre” ['Begin Again']
By Son Lux

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Wednesday 10th September 2014


burn up the pages of memories
one wished had never been lived
images better left behind
not knowing the looks of evil
does not mean it can’t be destroyed
cast out by the cleansed energy
that surrounds & protects you
rise up like the phoenix
let your life begin again
a present from me to you

here, i give to you ‘Build A Pyre [Begin Again]‘

‘Build a Pyre [Begin Again]‘

Son Lux – ‘Build A Pyre (Begin Again)’
from Geoff Hoskinson

Son Lux – “Build A Pyre (Begin Again)” Official Video

Director/Editor: Geoff Hoskinson
Stylist: Janneth Avila
Actress: Kelly Daughterty

Private Writings: Chapter #78 – “Be Gone Loneliness We’re Entering Paradise”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Be Gone Loneliness We’re Enter Paradise”
Private Writings #78
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 9th September 2014

Not Suitable For Children.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

 Private Writings: Chapter #78 “Be Gone Loneliness We’re Entering Paradise”

Tuesday, 3rd March 2009

Dear Annie, I am writing down all that occurred at Sylvia’s memorial service. I will keep this letter devoted to what happened during all the activities before, during and after. The first thing is the opening are lines from a song. I will include the video from the song that was played at the services.

It is called “Take Me”…

“Take Me”

Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Outside in the golden air
Washed out and no one’s there
She said I’ll need you there sometime
Sunset in the breeze
Drifting into me
Our love will make it right this time

So take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling

Skyline closing in
Her eyes whispering
Please swim across the night to find
Underwater lights
Shadows in disguise
Your lips come close to mine in time
Sunset in the breeze
Drifting into me
Our love will make it right this time

So take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling

Written and sung by a singer from the future, I believe. Name is Rufus. Don’t try to understand. It is too complicated to explain. Actually, one of my ghosts gave me the song to use. She liked it. It is amazing.

The Lyrics I used in Eulogy were read by the Sandra B., a close friend of Sylvia’s & was there for her when Sylvia allowed any one to help her.

Different people had comments. I am going to list them as I remember. The memorial service was televised so a great many people were able to say their goodbyes. Sylvia Kendall may have been very confused with the world and didn’t want to be here any longer but she was very loved across the world by many many many fans. In this I just include what I remember from different people who actually knew her and some people who just felt she wanted to say something and some who wanted to say Sylvia was going to be missed greatly.

Michele W said: “Sylvia was always there to listen to me. She heard and listened to my problems as I tried to listen to her. I didn’t realize she was in so much pain. We always say they’ll be there for someone after they’re gone. Why aren’t we there when they need us instead of reading about their death after they’re gone and always saying I could have saved her. No one can save somebody when they are determined to kill themselves. I only wish we could know in advance so we can save them. In a split second when we are not looking that is when they disappear.”

Julia R says: “I love her and I will miss my friend forever. She was a good friend which makes me feel like I was a bad one. But it isn’t about me now it’s about Sylvia. Rest now Sweet One. You Will and Are Already Missed.”

Robert P says: “I never had a chance to work with her but I use to see her at parties and I enjoyed talking to her. She was the rescuer of most parties. She will be missed.”

Bob D says: “We once were lovers, she was the best I will always love her.”

Angel J says: “I am angry with Sylvia and yet I love her soul. She was someone who I could love forever. I will love Sylvia – Forever.”

Meryl R says: “She was a brilliant actress. She was nominated for an Oscar. She should have won. I will miss all she would have done on the big screen and those wild parties. I wish I knew her better, been there to listen. I wish I could have known what was going on inside her. No one really knows anything about what is going on inside of someone else. If we did we would try to save everybody and no one can do that. Goodbye Sylvia.I will miss you and the work we could have done together and maybe the friendship we could have made.”

Next is the poem I wrote for the eulogy and read at the funeral or actually the Memorial.

“Entering into Paradise”
Eulogy Poem

Entering into the inner realm
Searching out the emotion of love
The connection drawing on the power
Existing past life and beyond death

Waiting wanting to return
Meets a familiar expression
Eyes hiding underneath a veil
Time stops until it returns renewed

Finding our soul mate once was tricky
The path followed needed
The map of fate for guidance
To awaken the senses in their foundation

High above the sky soaring
Through the clouds and beyond
The spirit waits to be as she is
With the secrets of the Beyond

The sacred place where death visits briefly
And exits quickly after arrival
This is presented to us now
Our fate in our new creation
Is set in place for us now

The last thing I am going to include in my letter to you Annie is what Catherine spoke at the service. She had every one in tears.

“Thank you everyone for coming today and for those who sent emails. My daughter Sylvia is watching now and sees just how much everyone loved her. She had a very good life but it was a difficult one. Her father died when she was very young. We all know he had AIDS. We had been separated from the time she was little. It was hard on Sylvia meeting death at such a young age. We missed him but she missed him more. She never was the same after her father’s death. She saw him vanishing before her eyes.

I tried to give her as much love as I was able. She needed to feel loved by everyone. Being on the screen and on the stage she was given this love by strangers. Sometimes strangers make the best lovers and give the best love. They don’t have a past with us. So sometimes it’s easier to love someone you don’t know then it is to love someone you think you know.

I love my daughter and I will always love her. I miss you sweetheart.

My heart is broken. She should never have died so young. I feel I should have been able to do more. But I loved her so much I don’t feel I denied her anything, especially my love for her.

Her spirit is free now. She can find happiness. She is with her father now.

Please pray that my friends Madison Taylor and Scottie Andrews’ daughter Alison Porter comes out of her coma soon and makes a full recovery. I cannot believe my daughter would do such a horrible thing by trying to take Alison with her. I can’t believe she took her own life either.”

Catherine begins to cry silently, tears running down her cheeks. I went to her and placed my arm over her shoulder and walked her back to her seat. I sat down next to her and held her as she cried silently.

I forgive Sylvia, Annie. I only feel pain that she should not be gone. That Catherine is so crushed. I should end the letter now. I am feeling like my soul is so hurt inside the pain feels almost impossible to bear.




© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Maksim - Somewhere In Time - Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Annie]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse