Private Moments: #85 “Horrors of Waiting”

private moments in paintings & poetryPrivate Moments #85
“Horrors of Waiting”
Poem Written by Jennifer Kiley

Post 27th October 2014
Poem for Private Writings
Chapter #85 “they hear nothing”
“Backing Off from Death
Painting by jkm

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~ (1563-1631)

coming back to life by jk mccormack (c) jkm 2014

Backing Off from Death (c) jkm

hands reaching out into rain

“Horrors of Waiting”
By Madison Taylor
22nd April 2009

The horrors of waiting for death
It claims us in its own time
In the time between time
Torture wracks the body with tension
Shatters the nerves
Until all rattles apart.

soothing starts when letting go
Dying
Leaving the body behind
Setting the mind free
The soul will sail out
on wings like a bird of love
Finding peace after waiting
when time disappears
Release is found.

© jkm

candle flame flickering gif

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - Composer Rachmaninoff – Pianist Maksim

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p

“Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”

— jkm the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

* * * * * * *

(c) jennifer kiley 2014

Why People Need Poetry

tell me a story

Why People Need Poetry

TED Talk: Stephen Burt

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Thursday 25th September 2014

 


Why People Need Poetry - TED Talk: Stephen Burt

Published on Jun 4, 2014

“We’re all going to die — and poems can help us live with that.” In a charming and funny talk, literary critic Stephen Burt takes us on a lyrical journey with some of his favorite poets, all the way down to a line break and back up to the human urge to imagine.

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

Private Moments #79 “Raining Through the Pain”

private moments in paintings & poetry“Raining Through the Pain”
Private Moments #79
Poem Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post 15th September 2014

Poem for Private Writings: Chapter #79 - “In Our Hours of Darkness”

purple raining lady (c) jkm 2014

Purple Raining Lady (c) jkm 

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~ (1563-1631)

hands reaching out into rain

“Raining Through the Pain”
Madison Taylor
10th March 2009

Raining through the pain
The strain of tears falling
The inside is outside
Crawling on the skin
Scraping the outer surface away

Raw is the screaming
The mind cannot control
When trying to reach out
Letting hands reach back in return
Feeling the pain surging through the veins

Losing someone is cruel
Living’s practical joke
No one is laughing
The creation of death
Should’ve been carefully considered

It is too late
It is in its place
Where it will stay
Until eternity turns around
And reverses its self

© jkm ’08

candle flame flickering gif

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - Composer Rachmaninoff – Pianist Maksim Mrvica

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p

“Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”

— Jkm the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

* * * * * * *

Private Writings: Chapter #78 – “Be Gone Loneliness We’re Entering Paradise”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“Be Gone Loneliness We’re Enter Paradise”
Private Writings #78
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 9th September 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

 Private Writings: Chapter #78 “Be Gone Loneliness We’re Entering Paradise”

Tuesday, 3rd March 2009

Dear Annie, I am writing down all that occurred at Sylvia’s memorial service. I will keep this letter devoted to what happened during all the activities before, during and after. The first thing is the opening are lines from a song. I will include the video from the song that was played at the services.

It is called “Take Me”…

“Take Me”

Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Outside in the golden air
Washed out and no one’s there
She said I’ll need you there sometime
Sunset in the breeze
Drifting into me
Our love will make it right this time

So take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling

Skyline closing in
Her eyes whispering
Please swim across the night to find
Underwater lights
Shadows in disguise
Your lips come close to mine in time
Sunset in the breeze
Drifting into me
Our love will make it right this time

So take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling
Take me away across the ocean
Out in the horizon the night is falling

Written and sung by a singer from the future, I believe. Name is Rufus. Don’t try to understand. It is too complicated to explain. Actually, one of my ghosts gave me the song to use. She liked it. It is amazing.

The Lyrics I used in Eulogy were read by the Sandra B., a close friend of Sylvia’s & was there for her when Sylvia allowed any one to help her.

Different people had comments. I am going to list them as I remember. The memorial service was televised so a great many people were able to say their goodbyes. Sylvia Kendall may have been very confused with the world and didn’t want to be here any longer but she was very loved across the world by many many many fans. In this I just include what I remember from different people who actually knew her and some people who just felt she wanted to say something and some who wanted to say Sylvia was going to be missed greatly.

Michele W said: “Sylvia was always there to listen to me. She heard and listened to my problems as I tried to listen to her. I didn’t realize she was in so much pain. We always say they’ll be there for someone after they’re gone. Why aren’t we there when they need us instead of reading about their death after they’re gone and always saying I could have saved her. No one can save somebody when they are determined to kill themselves. I only wish we could know in advance so we can save them. In a split second when we are not looking that is when they disappear.”

Julia R says: “I love her and I will miss my friend forever. She was a good friend which makes me feel like I was a bad one. But it isn’t about me now it’s about Sylvia. Rest now Sweet One. You Will and Are Already Missed.”

Robert P says: “I never had a chance to work with her but I use to see her at parties and I enjoyed talking to her. She was the rescuer of most parties. She will be missed.”

Bob D says: “We once were lovers, she was the best I will always love her.”

Angel J says: “I am angry with Sylvia and yet I love her soul. She was someone who I could love forever. I will love Sylvia – Forever.”

Meryl R says: “She was a brilliant actress. She was nominated for an Oscar. She should have won. I will miss all she would have done on the big screen and those wild parties. I wish I knew her better, been there to listen. I wish I could have known what was going on inside her. No one really knows anything about what is going on inside of someone else. If we did we would try to save everybody and no one can do that. Goodbye Sylvia.I will miss you and the work we could have done together and maybe the friendship we could have made.”

Next is the poem I wrote for the eulogy and read at the funeral or actually the Memorial.

“Entering into Paradise”
Eulogy Poem

Entering into the inner realm
Searching out the emotion of love
The connection drawing on the power
Existing past life and beyond death

Waiting wanting to return
Meets a familiar expression
Eyes hiding underneath a veil
Time stops until it returns renewed

Finding our soul mate once was tricky
The path followed needed
The map of fate for guidance
To awaken the senses in their foundation

High above the sky soaring
Through the clouds and beyond
The spirit waits to be as she is
With the secrets of the Beyond

The sacred place where death visits briefly
And exits quickly after arrival
This is presented to us now
Our fate in our new creation
Is set in place for us now

The last thing I am going to include in my letter to you Annie is what Catherine spoke at the service. She had every one in tears.

“Thank you everyone for coming today and for those who sent emails. My daughter Sylvia is watching now and sees just how much everyone loved her. She had a very good life but it was a difficult one. Her father died when she was very young. We all know he had AIDS. We had been separated from the time she was little. It was hard on Sylvia meeting death at such a young age. We missed him but she missed him more. She never was the same after her father’s death. She saw him vanishing before her eyes.

I tried to give her as much love as I was able. She needed to feel loved by everyone. Being on the screen and on the stage she was given this love by strangers. Sometimes strangers make the best lovers and give the best love. They don’t have a past with us. So sometimes it’s easier to love someone you don’t know then it is to love someone you think you know.

I love my daughter and I will always love her. I miss you sweetheart.

My heart is broken. She should never have died so young. I feel I should have been able to do more. But I loved her so much I don’t feel I denied her anything, especially my love for her.

Her spirit is free now. She can find happiness. She is with her father now.

Please pray that my friends Madison Taylor and Scottie Andrews’ daughter Alison Porter comes out of her coma soon and makes a full recovery. I cannot believe my daughter would do such a horrible thing by trying to take Alison with her. I can’t believe she took her own life either.”

Catherine begins to cry silently, tears running down her cheeks. I went to her and placed my arm over her shoulder and walked her back to her seat. I sat down next to her and held her as she cried silently.

I forgive Sylvia, Annie. I only feel pain that she should not be gone. That Catherine is so crushed. I should end the letter now. I am feeling like my soul is so hurt inside the pain feels almost impossible to bear.

Love,

Madison

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Maksim - Somewhere In Time - Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Annie]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

Private Moments #78 – “Traveling Paths In Multiple Directions”

private moments in paintings & poetryPrivate Moments #78:
“Traveling Paths In Multiple Directions”
Poem Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Monday 8th September 2014
Poem for Private Writings: Chapter #78
“Lock Me In Loneliness”
“Traveling Paths Split Multiple Ways”
Painting by Jk McCormack

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~ (1563-1631)

traveling paths split multiple ways (c) jkm 2014

Traveling Paths Split Multiple Ways - Jk McCormack (c) jkm 2009

hands reaching out into rain

“Traveling Paths In Multiple Directions”
By Madison Taylor
3rd March 2009

The soul has a mind
looking for ways to understand
life’s direction
and then comes death
and screws up
all the plans

I dread the thought of dying
my own but more those around me
the ones I love
and would be heartbroken to lose
too many have vanished before
taken by the dark van with windows

at the cold plot
the cemetery
where caskets
are empty
or full
depending on the ashes

ashes over water
floating the rest of eternity
on clouds
of flowing waves
matching the sky blue
and the ground solid

© madison taylor 2009

 candle flame flickering gif

Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini - Composer Rachmaninoff – Pianist Maksim Mrvica

garden waterfall private gazebo overgrown 4pmip&p

“Doorway to a Place of Enchantment”

“Creating is having the courage
to allow the seer into the private
moments of our imaginative lives.”

— Jkm the secret keeper
aka Jennifer Kiley McCormack

black_shamrock_ribbon green reverse

* * * * * * *

Private Writings: Chapter #77 – “All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”

private writings a novel of true fantasy by jennifer kiley [shawn's 2d blue name]

“All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”
Private Writings #77
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Post Tuesday 2nd September 2014

WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT
Not Suitable For Children.
ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
Anyone Resembling Anyone Living or Dead
Is Purely Coincidental.

1 alice-down-the-rabbithole [use best one]

Crypticistic Synopsis:

private writings to dr. annie haskell psychoanalyst

I am the storyteller using imagination fantasy feelings & thoughts

to discover self soul eternal serenity & bliss

but to most importantly tell the best tale ever after upon a time.

see you down the rabbit hole.

Private Writings: Chapter #77
“All Troubles Seem Close But Far Away”

Tuesday 24th February 2009

Dear Annie,

All is going wrong. Sylvia is beyond returning to life. She is on a ventilator but her brainwaves have ceased to exist. They have stopped registering that there is any brain functioning at all.

Catherine Leighton & I have talked a great deal since we both met up at Cedar Sinai to see what has happened to both our daughters in the same car crash. Alison seems to be holding on as tightly as she is able. Her vitals are weak but not impossible to recover from.

But the same is not true for Sylvia. After we finished our talk, for the moment, Catherine has made the decision to pull the plug on Sylvia. I can see in Catherine’s eyes, it is a decision she has come to terms with. She doesn’t want to tell the doctors her resolve. She asked if I could join her when she did. Of course, I told her I would be there for her now and any time she needed me.

I realize through Catherine’s insight that Alison may still be in a coma but her vitals are so promising. It feels to me a strong, deep feeling, that she was holding steady. She may still be in critical condition but she has been removed from her ventilator and began breathing almost immediately on her own. They just needed to clear her air waves. All the signs were showing promise.

But now I must be there for Catherine. She is devastated at the thought of losing her daughter. She knew after the crash, Sylvia would never be the same. She had really lost her mental bearings and now her body was destroyed by the crash. Catherine never realized just how strongly Sylvia wanted to die and how she was more and more destructive toward the end.

The doctors joined Catherine and I in Sylvia’s room. She was a shadow. There was a darkness that surrounded her. I feared this. I took Catherine aside and told her my fear that her daughter, Sylvia, was surrounded by the darkness. We needed to prepare her so they wouldn’t be able to pull her toward them after she was disconnected from life support and her life. I was afraid they would grab a hold of her spirit and take it where it would never be found again.

We both meditated, trying to contact Sylvia’s spirit. Show her that she was not hated or forgotten. We both wanted her to find peace. I wanted Scottie and Jamie to join us. They were reluctant but they realized what it would mean to Catherine to be their for her and her daughter.

We all sat on chairs in a circle holding hands. We couldn’t use candles because of the oxygen and being in a hospital. We were fortunate enough to be offered the generosity and spirit of 3 women and 4 men who practiced Reiki. While we meditated and held hands, the Reiki was performed over Sylvia’s lifeless body. The ventilator still pumping air into a body that needed it no longer.

After the 7 Reiki women and men left us alone, Jamie said softly that she knew a ritual her grandmother had taught her just before she had died. It was part Wiccan and the Good Sense that her Grandmother had been blessed with. Jamie recited the ritual from memory while we all held hands and listened. All we needed to do was after each verse we were to say: “May the Spirit find her way home.” That sounded reassuring.

Here are the verses as follows as Jamie recited them. Each verse being one line:

“We know it is a time of sadness for those who are left behind.” Jamie spoke.

“May the Spirit find her way home.” The three of us, Catherine, Scottie & myself, spoke quietly.

“Keep in mind you are sending a loved one into the protection of those on the other side who went before her.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“We call all who can hear us on the other side to come forward and to welcome our sister when she is ready to depart.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“It is a great loss for this world to lose her but it is her time.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Give comfort to our sister for she will not understand what is happening.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“She will not understand that death has chosen her to come amongst them.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Protect her from the shadows for they want to rob her of an afterlife of peace which she is deserving to partake in.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Hold her in your spiritual arms and rock her as she becomes familiar with her new home.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“Give her love and guidance when she needs it and even before she asks for it.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“She belongs to you now. Take her carefully into your womb and love her forever.”

“May the Spirit find her way home.”

“It is finished. She is gone from us and in her new home. No longer is she in this body we so cherish. Goodbye dear one. Love is with you now and forever.

“May the Spirit find her way home. This we hope has happened and is forever.”

Everyone started crying as Catherine instructed the doctors it was time to pull the plug. Sylvia Kendall had passed from this world.

Sadness Annie,

Love,

Madison

@>-;–

© Madison Taylor 2008

“I think writing really helps you heal yourself. I think if you write long enough, you will be a healthy person. That is, if you write what you need to write, as opposed to what will make money, or what will make fame.“ — Alice Walker

Maksim - Somewhere In Time - Composer John Barry[Dedicated to Sylvia Kendall]

5 photo of white rose with red framed in blue

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Le Chateau de Rocher - Home to Madison & Scottie   Their Cats & daughter Alison. She has her own place on the estate

Le Chateau de Rocher – Home to Madison & Scottie
Their Cats & daughter Alison. She also has her own place on the estate

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play.
Pretending is imagined possibility”
— Meryl Streep

Medicalmarijuana red cross marijuana leaf black bgMedical Marijuana

 

Special Edition: Maya Angelou R.I.P.

special edition day any
Maya Angelou R.I.P.

Special Edition

Post Created by Jennifer Kiley

Post Wednesday 28th May 2014

 

Poet, author Maya Angelou dies at 86

maya angelou insightful

Hillel Italie
May 28, 2014
Filed 03:59 PM EST

NEW YORK (AP) — Maya Angelou, a modern Renaissance woman who survived the harshest of childhoods to become a force on stage, screen, the printed page and the inaugural dais, died Wednesday, her son said. She was 86.

Angelou’s son, Guy B. Johnson, said the writer died at her home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, where she had been a professor of American studies at Wake Forest University since 1982.

Tall and regal, with a deep, majestic voice, Angelou defied all probability and category, becoming one of the first black women to enjoy mainstream success as an author and thriving in virtually every artistic medium. The young single mother who worked at strip clubs to earn a living later wrote and recited the most popular presidential inaugural poem in history. The childhood victim of rape wrote a million-selling memoir, befriended Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela and the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., and performed on stages around the world.

An actress, singer and dancer in the 1950s and 1960s, she broke through as an author in 1969 with “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings,” which became standard (and occasionally censored) reading, and was the first of a multipart autobiography that continued through the decades. In 1993, she was a sensation reading her cautiously hopeful “On the Pulse of the Morning” at President Bill Clinton’s first inauguration. Her confident performance openly delighted Clinton and made the poem a best-seller, if not a critical favorite.

FOR COMPLETE ARTICLE GO TO THIS LINK ON HUFFPOST

The Following Video is Maya Angelou speaking for herself.

Here, I Give You, Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou [Director’s Cut] – Cole Haan