Sliding Doors

[Original Written for Expats Post. Will Be Published Early Monday 30th December 2013]


Sliding Doors
Film Review by Jennifer Kiley
Created on 26th December 2013
Posted on Friday 27th December 2013

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition” — Monty Python

What if your life split into two timelines? In one timeline, you make your morning train, the other, someone mugs you, smashes your head into a tree, a kind British taxi driver takes you to the hospital. The split completely alters the experiences of your two lives, two different synchronicities. In one reality, you get fired, in the other, you don’t make it to work. You come home early, the other, you don’t make it home until the correct amount of time later. After things at home have time to move into a different moment, creating an alternate future, causing two parallel realities.

gwynnie sliding doors blond short hair

The film, Sliding Doors, involves Helen [Gwyneth Paltrow] meeting a new man, while still living with Gerry [John Lynch], One timeline remains with Gerry, a novelist, she is supporting. He is supposed to be writing his novel. In the other timeline, things come to an abrupt conclusion.

It’s a brilliantly conceived realistic fantasy, totally believable. How it all turns out, is well worth the time put in to watching, as the two realities evolve. Ultimately, turning out an ending with a twist. The whole film is one twisted curve. The story is enchanted. You make your choices. It’s was easy for me. It makes my best and favorites list. What is not to crave and love?

Sliding Doors after helen and james meet on train

The complexity, a brilliantly written screenplay, superb acting by a fine cast. Gwyneth Paltrow [Helen] and John Hannah [James] are in top form. John Hannah is someone with whom to fall in love. He is a genuinely fine and sensitive actor. His first film that appeared outside the UK was Four Weddings and a Funeral. His reading of W.H. Auden’s Funeral Blues was an especially painful, yet tender moment.

sliding doors james in diner

John Lynch and Jeanne Tripplehorn play the jesters, though irritating characters, carry off their roles sadly, pathetically, yet comically. It is impossible not to feel these two are not exactly on your favorite characters list. But there is always a need for antagonists. And most times you don’t like them, yet can appreciate their need in the film, or where would be the negative for the positive to repel? .

Lydia [Jeanne Tripplehorn] is a tremendous pain and cruel to boot. Gerry [John Lynch], the man Helen lives with is a ball-less, unfaithful, pathetic jerk. These are my truthful prejudices.

Sliding-Doors-john-hannah gwyneth

In the timeline, where Helen gets to know James life and becomes an integral part. This is the life I enjoy watching develop the most. If you decide to watch the film Sliding Doors, and I highly recommend it, you will be following a journey through regrouping and beginning your life from the start again. The alternate timelines are living inside of a blindness to what is happening around them.

sliding-doors helen james in diner h having milkshake

Movie Connections: Sliding Doors — John Hannah [James]

Altering time is fascinating. Watching new possibilities grow, while you are living your life as it was given to you. At the same exact time being given a new life while the old life continues in an almost similar direction, just arriving separately.

The ending, I won’t even go anywhere near what happens there. I do recommend “you start at the beginning until you come to the end, then stop.” —Lewis Carroll. It is well worth the journey. Without telling you the culmination of the story, I will say it is imaginative.

Sliding Doors is fascinating to watch. Curious how it makes you feel. You will route for Helen all the way, but which one? What will you think of James? He has his secrets as well. There are secrets everywhere. Characters you just don’t like. Maybe I am being too judgmental but some behaviors are really not honorable.

sliding doors james helen sitting on train first meeting

Sliding Doors is definitely about love. Real love. I am not sure if Gerry knows what he feels. You, as the audience, decide that conclusion. I am not enamored of him. Where my allegiances lie, I haven’t hidden. But my letting that out will not give you any idea what this story is trying to share. Feeling love and caring and knowing when you see it and feel it.

I keep returning to the ending. It surprised me the first time I watched Sliding Doors. It may surprise everyone who watches it. The creativity of the mind who created this story, must be very fertile. I love when someone writes something so different. Something one has not seen in a film before. An original concept, playing with time, in the way Sliding Doors plays it through.

slidingdoors helen at closed train doors

Anyone who likes imagination, thinking, going with the possibilities, being able to expect the unusual and to be able to accept the unique, will love Sliding Doors.

It is a film one can watch more than once. Why? Some films create such ponderings in the mind one needs a dose of their originality to sooth the soul and to believe in the genius of originality. It still truly exists in a world of film on the edge of losing its ability to create plenty of room for new ideas. They sneak in here or there.

Sliding Doors is made for the romantic as well as the psychologically prone individual. The interaction between Helen and James is an invitation to see how feelings slowly develop within a natural growth. The depth of love and feelings are real and should not chase away the male viewer. It is a thinking person’s film. Don’t be afraid of the romance.sliding doors helen short blond hair looking in from the sidewalk

The other side of the film is either funny or irritating but in a way that holds the viewer’s attention. For me, I just want to slap some sense into Lydia and Gerry. He is an ass and she is not much higher on the evolutionary ladder.

I prize this film. Obviously, the parts that are irritating would accentuate after you’ve watched this film often enough. Even so, the rest of the film is well worth viewing as often as possible.

The two Helens are reacting so differently and anyone near her lives are different, also. Everyone has to change their perspective on what is real. Keeping them organized is not complicated, instead it is a curious experience to see the different performances.

One more film on my list of films I watch whenever I find the time. It is, to me, like looking into a great work of art, each view you see more deeply into what your senses are perceiving. Each perception brings on different feelings and reactions on other sense levels. Losing myself in the art is a love affair. Losing may not be the most accurate word, pleasure is more succinct. There is emotional pleasure and an indescribable response in experiencing art.

james holding helen

For me, film can most assuredly be considered art. It has such an availability of ranges, in which to explore the mind, the imagination, to express emotions, thoughts, concepts, ideas, non-sense, and a letting go of creativity. To develop a conversation, acting out a concept, to see where it will lead in opening one’s mind to something deeper or new.

Sliding Doors is this film. It is art. It creates a possibility of fantasy, which could hold a particle of truth within its idea of playing with time.

sliding_doors_helen 1st reality

“Always look on the bright side of life.” I love the mentions of Monty Python. What they say and do in their work, mostly non-sense, is filled with humor and ridiculosity.

Sliding Doors asks you to suspend your concept of reality, step into a moment of fantasy and allow that to have possibilities. Go with where it takes you. Accept its consequences.

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition” — Monty Python

Sliding Doors Trailer

Sliding Doors
Helen: Gwyneth Paltrow
James: John Hannah
Gerry: John Lynch
Lydia: Jeanne Tripplehorn

Directed & Written by Peter Howitt [Antitrust with Ryan Philippe, Tim Robbins, and Rachel Leigh Cook. An extreme thriller in the intrigue of super-computers, programmers, inventive ideas, murder, and an exciting film to watch. Edge of the seat philosophy film-making. One I shall watch again really soon & highly recommend for the film viewer who wants excitement with their popcorn. Eat slowly so you don’t choke. Available Free through Redbox Subscription using Roku. Will review in near Future].

Year: [1998]
99m R
Available Presently [26th Dec. 2013]
Amazon Instant Video or Purchase


Private Writings: Chapter #32 — The High and the Flighty

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #32 — The High and the Flighty

Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 29th October 2013



Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,
and a need to discover my bliss.

See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #32 — The High and the Flighty

Tuesday, 22nd April 2008

Dear Annie,

Ever since I gave you my first letter to read, I am suddenly having visual dreams I remember. And the symbols in my dreams would make any Jungian jump for joy. I wonder what they would say to my dream. I’d like to tell you about it in our session. I wrote it down the way I remembered it.

It opened inside my dead parents’ house, they are very much present, It is time to walk the dog, so it seems it is up to me. Once I am outside, in the side yard, watching dog, I look through the window into the neighbor’s house. What I see at first is two women, they are physically close, but carefully trying to hide their attraction to the other. Whenever anyone else appears they break away from their closeness. A young man appears at the open door. They quickly move away from the other and start talking, like what I saw never ever happened. As soon as he disappeared, they carefully returned to their former positions of almost touching. When I finally look away, I realize it is time to take the dog back inside. [Did I mention the dog looked exactly like the Cairn terrier, Toto, from the Wizard of OZ?] As I turn to approach the house, I see there is a really large parakeet walking around near where I am heading toward the side door to go back in with the dog. This bird, I notice, has the most beautiful long feathers, a light color. When I say large, she is only 1/3 smaller than I am. She, also, is acting very shy. I would add by saying she is wondering whether she could trust me & also, was it safe to go into the house. With the animals on the steps, I go to open the door to let us all inside. At that very moment, Scottie wakes me up.

I really want you to interpret it at our next appointment on Tuesday. It is amazing that ever since I let myself be vulnerable to you, by sharing my other letters I wrote before we started therapy, I am starting to have really vivid dreams. But even more significant, I am taken back to my home when I was a kid, which no longer exists & I already told you my parents are gone, gone, gone, just like the home my family lived in. [It really was torn down & the buyer rebuilt something even larger].

I’d like to talk to you, also, about how this dream made me feel. One feeling I get from it is, why am I seeing lesbians, or better yet, why am I watching through the neighbor’s window. I never do things like that. I think maybe inside my dream I must have been daydreaming. Maybe the thought of seeing Jonathan Stephens for the first time has me thinking about what we will look like to one another. It is a shock to have someone see me. I don’t like seeing me most of the time. Jonathan & I have been writing & Skyping with each other for years. Just not using video. We met in some gay-lesbian chat room many years ago. Usually, men talked to men and women talked to other women. Sexes who were attracted to the same sex didn’t seem too interested in the opposite sex. A lot of women, including myself, went through a phase of not thinking men had anything particularly of value to offer. If you think about it, if women could get pregnant by parthenogenesis & didn’t need sperm, how long do you feel the human race wouldn’t slowly make a male chromosome a recessive gene? Men would just fade away.

Do I think that way? No, otherwise Jonathan wouldn’t be my best friend forever. He is a fantastic artist. We share a great deal in common. We both were injured in car accidents & broke our necks. His was discovered at the scene of his accident & he was put into traction right away. Mine wasn’t discovered until years later. Fortunately, the hospital was smart enough to have me wear a neck brace & I was smart enough never to take it off, except to take quick showers. I didn’t like taking it off. When I did my neck hurt like hell. My break was only discovered when several years later I started losing the use of the right side of my upper body. It started with my neck & shoulders. I had such intense pain & weakness. It, eventually, worked its way down into my right hand. The pain was making it impossible to write with my right hand or raise my right arm.

My doctor sent me to a specialist. I told him the pain was paralyzing. The doctor ordered some x-rays and an MRI. He discovered a healed over fracture in my third and fourth neck vertebrae. It was, as he described it, a broken neck, I think to scare me, he told me if I ever had just a slightly overzealous neck adjustment, I could have easily become paralyzed from the neck down. He scheduled surgery immediately. It was to relieve the pain & pressure on the nerve endings in my neck. He removed a disc which were causing the vertebrae to smother & pinch the nerve endings, cutting off any communication with the nerves travelling down my right arm to my right hand & to make the pain go away, I had a plate put in my neck & lost a disc. I feel pretty good considering what the alternative might have been thanks to the hospital I went to after that terrible accident. A lot happened in that accident, I am not ready to talk about yet. I did write about it in one of my previous letters to you. But it will come up when it is the right time.

I wanted your help in preparing to meet someone I know like I know myself but don’t things change when you meet someone in person. They are really strangers. I’m afraid after Jonathan meets me, it will kill our friendship & forever will turn into never again.

I know we should be really talking about getting me on the plane that will take Scottie and I to Paris, France. Otherwise, there really isn’t a need for discussion of anything that is coming ahead. Next week is the cast-a-way party, where crew & cast meet all around. Hunter Marx is sure to be the center of attention. She always is these days.

I want the script I wrote for our film, “Touch of the Spirit” to really work. Scottie wants me there for luck & for company. Also, it won’t hurt in case there is a need for rewrites & there always are, Nothing can be completely seen as it is going to come off on film. You told me today, you were going to supply me with some major pills to take long before liftoff. They will make me sleep the whole flight. But what if there is a delay? Or someone does something wrong? And what about missing our wonderful babies, our little Toker, Mikey & Patrick? I know a friend is going to be house sitting. That will make the boys happy but they will miss our snuggles at night & during our time in the evening when we all crash in front of the HD & watch films & veg out.

I do have the schedule for our Skype sessions, which is great, It makes me so happy you were able to work that out. It will be in your evening & my nighttime. You are so accommodating my schedule. You don’t know how much this means to me. If I lost contact with you, I don’t know how crazy I would get on Scottie. Plus, we don’t know how Hunter Marx is going to behave having Scottie around her again. She may take another round of trying to seduce my woman. She hates it when I say that or even joke about it. She doesn’t realize how insecure that makes me feel. I really wish she would say yes to marry me once same-sex marriage becomes legal. I did get her to accept my proposal when we are old & ready to walk over into the light.

There is something I wanted to tell you. Something, a feeling, it has made me feel extremely shy when I think about talking to you about it. When I first looked at you. The first session in the women’s group, when you started co-leading. That was a joke. He never let you unless he was gone. Don’t want to go there. Let him stay living locked up in a safe room at the local hospital for the criminally insane. But I said, I don’t want to go there. Where I want to go is to tell you how it made me feel when I returned to group after my cancer treatment, still in an exhaustive state. Really too weak to drive, but I did it anyway. I just had to get out of the house & go someplace where I hadn’t been in almost a whole year.

When I walked into the therapy room that day, the first thing I did was make eye contact with you. I wasn’t surprised you were there but I had no idea who you were or what you were doing there. I just knew I was looking into the eyes of someone I knew, as though we had met before. It was like looking into a familiar painting I had never seen before but I knew all about it. It was like reading a poem I had never read before and I knew exactly what the poet was trying to say in their deeper mind. I saw inside your soul through your eyes. The reflection was like a pool of clear water that had such a depth, that when examined, had no bottom. You were infinite. That is when I knew our souls knew one another. They had been together before and were looking for the other again in this life. You came to me & I found you. Our paths were following the same course to lead to that moment. And we found each other, not just by chance, it was meant to be, we wander along a path, the choices we made, they were destiny guiding us but no force was involved, no coercion, just our souls needed to be rejoined to make them whole again. Wholeness renews happiness and fullness enriches the whole being. The ripple effect from such a joining is infinitely phenomenal.

Time can be folded and joined with all elements in all place as the one ultimate moment when time is all at once. In this place everything happens on a continual loop following into a continuum of time forever into infinity. In the “Silver Box,” there is contained the ability to draw time into itself and create the perfect infinite moment.

I will end this letter in this one moment of now.


© madison taylor 2008

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

flowers yellow white pinkish with green background of leaves

rain in garden gif

Soul Through Your Eyes
By Madison Taylor
29th April 2008

Soul through the eyes
Reflections in a pool of clear water
Depths examined are bottomless
Infinity has been discovered
In a pool of vision

Trying to express
In a deeper mind
The poet must proclaim
Souls recognize a counterpart
Eye contact with the self
In someone else’s eyes
Knowing but haven’t met yet
Finding but soul came to soul

Paths were followed but different
Yet they all led to now
A moment meeting in time
With energy from outside of time
Wandering along making choices
Destiny secretly guiding them
Yet the choices are free

No coercion involved
But paths are meant to be
On the course they are following
Though they make the decisions
What courses will be taken
What are the odds of the choices?
What is supposed to be chosen?

And it turns out to be correct
Or are there no mistakes
The familiar painting of life
Is designed and prepared before birth
It is like reading a poem
Never written but once it is
It is familiar as though read before

Led to the moment eyes meet
From the moment following
Paths are joined
Meeting to follow
As long as the path continued on
All is whole again
Souls have been delivered
The right door has been opened
Wholeness is fulfilled

Wholeness renews happiness
Fullness enriches the whole being.
The ripple effect in such a joining
Is infinitely phenomenal
It will continue forever
Repeating until a completeness
Is infinitely successful

© madison taylor 2008

abstract_fluid_painting_45_by_mark_chadwickAbstract 45 — Artist Mark Chadwick

Apres de Rive

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

jonathan stephens imaginary framedJonathan Stephens is Madison Taylor’s friend in Paris, France. 1st time meeting. Skype.

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212 Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

actresses-with-long-hair-hairstyle frenchHunter Marx [taken 7 years ago in 2001 the year Hunter & Madison met]

play is not just play meryl streep

Private Writings: Chapter #31 — New World Sympathy

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013

Private Writings: Chapter #31 — New World Sympathy
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1
Published on March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On Tuesday 22nd October 2013



Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,
and a need to discover my bliss.

See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #31 — New World Sympathy

Tuesday, 15th April 2008

Dear Annie,

I needed to concentrate on something specific this week but never got to tell you. In this letter, I will write it down, so next week we can get into detail about what I am feeling. Taking off to Paris, France with Scottie in a few weeks, so she can begin shooting our new film. It is giving me a great deal of apprehension. You may want to talk to Scottie about what I am going to tell you. She doesn’t get what I am trying to say. If someone else talks to her, she may listen. It may feel like it is coming from someone she feels is being rational. In this situation, that is not how she feels I am coming across. I wrote down as clearly as possible, what we need to talk about.

First, it is okay to talk to Scottie about anything. She will tell you if it is alright with her or not. You can trust her to keep it confidential. It begins with her friendship with the actor, Hunter Marx, and the fact we don’t talk about her. Scottie told me she doesn’t want to get involved with what I feel regarding Hunter. I don’t think Scottie grasps the seriousness of what is going on. Since she doesn’t want to talk to me about Hunter, there is no way for me to explain to her how I am feeling. She thinks I am just being contrary when I say anything. Scottie has no idea how serious Hunter affected me in the past. How much damage Hunter did to my being able to trust. For me, it is better to talk to you, Annie or my friend Jonathan. I feel safer keeping what I feel from Scottie.

Recently, Scottie had a conversation with Hunter. I woke up hearing Scottie’s voice. Realizing she was talking to someone, I couldn’t help but overhear part of what Scottie was saying. She was telling Hunter about me regarding my habit of ending relationships when I feel hurt. She said, I end things abruptly and cold. This made me feel hurt and betrayed she would tell Hunter this. Especially, after the way it blew up between Hunter and me. What Scottie doesn’t realize is that was me when we first met, I was younger, more naive, extremely trusting and much more gullible. I have since worked on my need to run away. I try to work things out now. But with Hunter, there wasn’t anything to work out. I tried reaching her but was rejected too many times to remember the count.

Hunter’s need for secrecy and extreme privacy, I never felt it was okay to really talk to Scottie about the relationship I had with Hunter. She made it perfectly clear no one was to know what was happening between us. She told me, she was afraid the press would find out and think she was a lesbian. You know what kind of relationships this kind of privacy reminds me of, an abusive one. Abusers don’t want you to tell anyone about them. Hunter didn’t want anyone to know the kind of manipulation that was happening.

Scottie has no idea what I did for Hunter to draw Scottie into her life. Scottie was trying to cast an important film and I felt manipulated into getting Scottie to take a closer look at Hunter. Scottie didn’t act terribly comfortable around Hunter, so, I stepped in to smooth the way. I, now feel she used me to get what she wanted from Scottie and I fell right into her trap and gave Scottie over to her on a “silver platter. Like a fucking idiot. Oh, so, clever Hunter was manipulating us both. And now Scottie can’t see the truth no matter how I try to explain it to her. She just won’t listen. Thinks I am just being contrary because of how I feel.

Let me try to explain it more clearly. Hunter controlled me. She owned me. It was her decision when we would have contact and when it would be cut off. I destroyed pages of a great script because she felt it sounded too much like I was writing about her. I became so upset. To me it was about what it felt like to be bipolar. I wanted the character to talk about what it felt like when she became delusional and had irrational thoughts. I blew up and lost it. She upset me so much that I destroyed the whole script. It was something I sweated pain to create. She had turned into my Svengali. When she first got to know me she pretended to like my honesty. Once she hooked me to her drug of choice, herself, we became what I felt were friends. One of her requirements, she wanted me to keep all that went on between us to myself. Suddenly, I had to be so secretive. No one could know we were close friends.

I don’t think I can go back to being any place where she is. Hunter became delusional. She started telling me I had betrayed her and that I was disloyal. She pushed me away with her accusations. They were all lies based on nothing. She was trying to make me doubt my writing. The ultimately, real insanity started when I starting making friends with another actor she used to call a friend. She told me I was betraying her by being friends with this actor and it had to stop. I felt that was going too far. She did that with a lot of people in the film industry with whom I was making new connections. It was necessary and part of developing our film production company, Scottie’s and mine, “Infinite Imaginations, Inc..

I never did drop any of the people she wanted me to. Why should I, she was being ridiculous and way beyond the boundaries of being too demanding. She may have been a rising star but I didn’t need her to connect with others in the film industry. My work was beginning to have a buzz developing around it and so was “Infinite Imaginations, Inc.” Scottie doesn’t get the fact Hunter used me to get to her. And after I took my control back and pushed her away, she did everything she could after that to hurt me, including the absurdity of trying to come between Scottie and me. Hunter learned quickly it wouldn’t work. Scottie and I were too strong together.

When I flash back and remember when I first started becoming friends with Hunter, Scottie told me I should be careful, a friend had warned her. I don’t know if Scottie has forgotten or Scottie is trying to be diplomatic but she has no idea the torture I felt throughout that friendship. I trust Scottie, but she will be having contact with Hunter again. She cast her in the lead for our new film. No title has been finalized. Is it possible for me to just be professional with her? I feel it is going to be very uncomfortable. She is the one who cut me off cold but I am the one who wanted it to remain that way. A closed book, let go without regrets.

When my friendship with Hunter started, I thought it would be one of those that would last. That was me feeling promise and being delusional. I was living a fantasy. The truth is, I always felt like I had no rights in the relationship. Always a sense I needed permission to even contact her. It is awful to examine an abusive relationship when you realize you didn’t even recognize it when it was happening. Hunter had to be in total control. I let her at the expense of my own sense of self. I was reliving how my own mother treated me. This might sound crazy, but the only time I felt delusional was when I was with her. Which makes me feel now, she was doing something bordering on voodoo that set off my irrational thoughts.

I don’t know if I should delete this or let you see what has been going on inside my mind all this time. It is only now coming to the surface. I am going to use these revelations in my writing. There has to be a way to release all this toxic muck that filled me with poison. How the hell could I have been so blind?

You are my therapist. This is the kind of thing I should trust you with. Who else can I talk to about this shit? How destructive have I allowed myself to be?

Now, my life seems to be moving on a rapid cycle of change, looking for a landing spot, and claim a space for psychological and emotional rest. Hope you can help me find peace before death comes to take me away. All I want is a modicum sense of security and well-being.


Ps. This week, we were supposed to talk about the invitation from Scottie to join her on her film making quest to Paris, France, to film her next film with the script I wrote for her. It is a romance, with a touch of the ghost. A light comedy, with a touch of the spirit world invading the party. That’s the title, it just came to me, “Touch of the Spirit.” Anyway, it is really important we work on getting me prepared to fly. It freaks me out. Leaving our home. Going over the Atlantic Ocean. We could crash. We could drown. I suppose, though, the crash would kill us first. That was stupid to say out loud. Knock on wood.

PPs. Also, I am sorry, I have been so nervous, I didn’t include anything about our film “Brief Sacrifice.” I will tell you in our session more of the adventure. It gets really exciting when James and Jackson Sharp connect psychically. The power between Jackson and James wakes up an unimaginable energy field. Wait til you see special effect. It is so charged up. A great vibration comes from within the “Silver Box.” It appears together, the two, a cat and a human, have cracked the code. Seams begin to show, revealing signs of a thin crack which encircles the “Silver Box.” By our next letter, I feel strongly the “Silver Box” will be revealing its contents. From there we will have to determine what the significance is of what’s inside. Ciao!

© madison taylor 2008

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

<em>Somewhere In Time – John Barry</em>

Robert Mapplethorpe --- 28 Closeup Yellow Lily

Robert Mapplethorpe — 28 Closeup Yellow Lily

rain in garden gif

Missing You Though We’re Not Gone
by Madison Taylor
Tuesday 22nd April 2008

Missing you though we’re not gone
Fear you will leave before me
Without you I will be left alone
In this way I could not ever be

Your presence is a wanted dream
To think and speak of many things
To brighten days shine as the sun
Our family whole what love it brings

One day in hours the time will come
We’ll spend the minutes creating fun
In company together we shall be
In spirit connecting forever free

© madison taylor 2008

Psychedelic Alpha Coders

Psychedelic Alpha Coders

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212 Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

actresses-with-long-hair-hairstyle frenchHunter Marx [taken 7 years ago in 2001 year Hunter & Madison met]

play is not just play meryl streep

Private Writings: Chapter #29 — The Party’s Over

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013Private Writings: Chapter #29 — The Party’s Over
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Published Introduction & Chapter #1
On 19th March 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On 8th October 2013



Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through
letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script
“Brief Sacrifice,” already made into a film but not yet released, psycho-
therapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind,
soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or
having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes,
near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality,
time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #29 — The Party’s Over
Tuesday 8th April 2008

Dear Annie,

It feels so strange when something once so important deteriorates into something so destructive. The Women’s Group met for the last time today and I am relieved. It needed to stop a long time ago. Instead, Dr. George allowed it to drift into a critical mass, causing everyone to be exposed to a dangerous situation he had no idea how to handle.

When it first began, it had positive benefits. For me, I was drawn out into the outside world. I think Dr. George, originally, had the right idea. A women’s group for those suffering from PTSD and a variety of other conditions. The group was to be a safe haven for those who had no other source to help them. It was doing okay until the good doctor began losing his sense of stability. His mind seemed to be slipping into a state of self-aggrandizement. He lost control of the behavior of a certain woman he felt attracted to. It was with Angie, there came the greatest exception.

When she began to be extremely critical of other members of the group. I seemed to top her list. Dr. George allowed her freedom and the support for the foul things she would say to us. Her prejudices toward the women from different backgrounds, especially Deborah, who is black, Israh, who is Muslim, and myself, with a triple threat of being a lesbian, living with another woman, and being Jewish. I converted to practicing Judaism a long time ago. It was while I was seeing my first therapist, Rachel. I was an impressionable teenager, she was Jewish and I felt a strong bond with her. I wanted to be just like her. That is when I decided to change my religious beliefs to hers. I continue to celebrate the traditions of Judaism but have since realized no organized religion allows me to have a free flowing spiritual base.

Angie hated our differences, and took great pleasure in criticizing us, using all her stereotypes of our preferred life style and cultures. Being called Queer and Dyke as words don’t bother me, but when there is hate behind those words, they become offensive slurs. It does become degrading and emotionally harming. It caused me to flashback onto the verbal abuse I heard when I was a kid in school. The bullies were severe with their use of language to undermine the confidence of all of us, who already felt so insecure from lack of support from our families, Those families, who gave us zero time to listen to what we had to say about what we were going through. And speaking for myself only, my family was also participating in abusing me.

Group was supposed to be a safe place to work on healing from all the poison so many people spewed out at us in the outside world. We were all supposed to be safe in our therapy group. Angie stole that away from us, and Dr. George did not lift his voice to protect us. Privately, he was even worse. He would defend Angie to me and then accuse me of being insensitive. That I didn’t try hard enough to understand what Angie was going through. What she was going through was to act like a bully and to continue our abuse in a supposedly safe environment.

She is now the dead and murdered group member, and Dr. George is being charged with her murder. Now if that is not irony, nothing is. She has brought another life down with her dying. It seems like she will never really go away. You told us, Dr. George tried to commit suicide while in his jail cell. He was under 24/7 suicide watch but still managed an attempt on his own life. The judge is to determine, some time today, whether he is able to stand trial. There was talk of moving him to a psychiatric hospital, in a ward that would be locked down. Wherever he was, he was to remain on suicide watch.

I remember when I lost my therapist, the one before Dr. George. She was a significant loss to me. I really thought she understood me, but when I reflect back now, I wonder. I feel she misunderstood me and made me feel crazy for needing her. I felt like there was something wrong with me because of how I felt toward her. It felt like I was a bit obsessed but if I think about my feelings now, I would say they were pretty normal for the kind of relationship we had. She had a strong control over me. When I wanted to talk about my feelings for her, she would always shut me down. And on the other side, I felt how she was so delicate and tender with me. One moment I would feel safe with her and then a moment later, she would make me feel like I was crazy.

Therapists have this way of confusing me, using mixed feelings, always their damned mixed feelings. I mean, who do you go to when you need to talk about your therapist? I admit it now, I was in love with her. At the time, I had no idea. I didn’t know I was attracted to women at the time. It’s called denial on an elevated level. No way was I attracted to women. I was but I wasn’t admitting it to myself or out loud to anyone. I should have known when I was in Kindergarten. I smiled a lot at my therapist. She made my heart so happy when I looked at her. I felt a magnetic pull inside whenever her eyes met mine. The blue intensity just melted me away.

Most of my female teachers made me feel nervous, in a good way, but a shy way. I liked them a lot. But I didn’t understand what I was feeling. No one told me there was such a thing as being attracted to someone of the same sex. I didn’t know there was such a thing. The church I went to always talked about a man and a woman getting together inside a marriage. I did leave that church when I realized my favorite person was a bigot. It was always that way with white, straight, Christians back then. Now some Christians have gotten the message to accept all as equal. We all have a right to express our life the way we feel it. We don’t have to deny who we are even if we aren’t part of the “Norm.”

Now that I have wandered away from the point I wanted to make in my letter, Annie, let me get back. What I wanted to tell you about is the therapist before Dr. George, Jamie, instead I floated back to my first therapist. I held back my feelings from Jamie. I wanted to tell her how I felt but I knew if I did it would bring an abrupt end to our working together. I knew she would not be able to handle how I felt. I was in love with her but I knew I had no chance of my feelings ever being accepted or reciprocated. If I told Jamie, I knew she would abruptly terminate our association.

Each week I would go to both my sessions. We talked about Scottie and my inability to handle being sexually intimate. Making love was pretty intense when Scottie and I first got together, It probably helped I was stoned and drank at the time. My fear would be buried and I was good at seduction. Writing poetry allowed me to express my feelings. There were no problems with my touching Scottie and she could touch me but if it went any further than my making love to her, meaning if she wanted to reciprocate, I would respond at first but then the strangest thing would happen. All my feelings, emotional and physical, would shut down completely. I believe I left my body. Something else took possession of both my body and mind. My emotions turned cold as the ghost that haunted me. Nothing could bring me back.

I use to think if I just faked getting through it, everything would be alright. This was the PTSD. My mind and body would flip back to anyone of the multiple times I was sexually abused. It would become those who abused me who were there, that took me out of time. They stole my ability to respond by forcing me to respond when the abuse was happening. Before I knew what my body was doing. It was not connected to choice but force and rape. Now when I make love, it starts out with the high of someone turned on and develops so wonderfully but then comes the transformation and flashbacks. The abusers take over and all goes sideways, becomes wrong and I must take my leave, not by choice but out of necessity to save myself from being re-abused.

Stopping is not something I’ve ever learned how to do. Nothing stopped the abusers so how does one stop something, where one moment it feels so right and the next it has deteriorated into a nightmare. All shuts down that is good and what is there in its place is the memories of abuse coming back to life. The delusions feel real, what is happening takes hold, destroys everything good, leaves me and the person I love confused, probably wondering what just happened. I can’t tell them, they have become someone I cannot trust. In that moment the trust has disappeared. Spoiled by what the abusers created inside of me, what has been left behind to live in me, waiting to destroy anything close to trust or love when it comes into my life.

I need to move away from this subject. It’s time to escape into a world of fantasies and dreams. “Brief Sacrifice” is how I do that. I write fantasies of the way I want things to be. I can create those worlds in my screenplays. They get to become real when they are transformed into films. Scottie creates the transformation for me. What I write becomes real for a time. Then I write another story to be made into the next film. Writing and enjoying my stories up on the screen is the best of both my worlds, words and film, the magic of creation coming alive.

In “Brief Sacrifice,” I create a magical world where anything is possible. There are good guys in white hats always pursued by the bad guys in black hats. A metaphorical way of differentiating. My good guys are always being pursued but hopefully by the end they will achieve their goals. The black hats will meet their demise. It is my way of getting even with those bastards who tried to destroy me. They may get away with part of their plan in reality but I get them back in my fantasies. The black hats are always destroyed in some fashion that give all who perceive this destruction a great deal of satisfaction. A feeling of well done.

In “Brief Sacrifice,” nothing is different, it is just figuring out how the white hats will achieve the ultimate discovery of Truth and keep it safe. The black hats, of course, are going to make every effort to stop the Good from ever seeing fruition. It is usually the 1% versus the 99%. In my stories the 99% always win. The Utopia, or whatever it is meant to be accomplished, finds a way to get around the attacks, of the always to be frustrated, in “Brief Sacrifice” it is the Tea Dome Soldiers, going under the heading for the secret organization called “GEUSS.”

“Brief Sacrifice” takes us on a journey through the ever reaching dimensions of Time and pierces the inconceivable threads of time by way of Magic, Miracles and the Mystical. Friends of Nikola Tesla know there is a secret created by the Master himself. In possession of the conduit of Magic, Miracles and the Mystical is Carter McLeod. In the Silver Box lies the answer. It is almost time for the Silver Box to open. Jonathan Sharp, the new head of the Friends of Nikola Tesla, holds the knowledge of what will make the Silver Box open. He is not aware he holds this power, yet, so he must learn first before he discovers it.

All are waiting for the right time. The old man was presented with the Silver Box directly from the hands of Nikola Tesla, a year before he died. Tesla knew he had to pass on his secrets. The old man was chosen because he was Tesla’s friend from his childhood back in Croatia. After they both immigrated to the States, the Colonies, they lost track of the other. But later on in Tesla’s life they had a surprise meeting. It came out of nowhere. But it was actually meant to happen. Nikola knew where to find his friend. He had kept track of him for his entire life. He could see from the start, the old man would play an important part in his future. And he did.

Tesla knew his life’s end was near. Arrangements had been made to run into his old friend. When they met, Tesla gave the old man the brief case with instructions never to open it. He, also, told him to protect it with his life and to seek others he trusted to help him with this task. Someday, he said, what he held would be the new dawning of humankind. It may not be in his friend’s future but someday, it would either save humankind or destroy it. His warning was to “Never Let This Brief Case Fall into the Hands of the Wealthy. They Will Want to See It Destroyed.” Tesla, also, gave him an envelope which contained further instructions. It was to form the group the Friends of Nikola Tesla. He was to tell them some of the details to hold in secret. Those who were members were to pass on down from generation to generation the secret details, until what was contained in the Silver Box was actualized.

“The contents of the Silver Box will save humankind.”

This message is what has been passed down. It is up to Jackson Sharp and Carter McLeod to carry out the destiny of Nikola Tesla. The Magical, Miracle and Mystical future will be revealed once what is in the Silver Box is activated.

This is all I will tell you today. Curious thing about the Silver Box. What it is? Have you any idea?

From the heavy to the heavier or light or is it Light? All will be revealed in its proper time.

Too much. Have I said too much? It isn’t good to keep some secrets and essential to keep others.

Hold on, there’s a news report coming onto the TV about Dr. George’s case. The judge saw him in court. Her decision, because of his attempted suicide, she ordered Dr. George to be remanded into the custody of the local Psychiatric Hospital. To be put on 24/7 observation. My thought are it will be in a padded cell, just to be sure. Why the hell do you suppose he tried to kill himself? It appears he really has lost it. Do you suppose he really is guilty and can’t deal with knowing what he did?

We will talk about this all when we meet in our next session. No group to interfere or to fuck up my feelings before I see you. That would actually be a relief. I can concentrate on what I want us to talk about and what I wrote in this letter. There will be a poem which follows.



Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

pansies maybe

rain in garden gifMade of Clouds
By Madison Taylor
8th April 2008

Pulling true love
Out of an invisible dream
Once the past was cruel
With moments of explosive highs
Now fading like the sun entering night
An image exists fading fast
Once upon a truth but never real

Wandering into a woods
Climbing a tree memories
Pretending to sit high
Riding through a living fantasy
A great height falling
No fear or a sudden awakening
The ground is made of clouds

© madison taylor 2008

abstraction p420 artist tehos tehos

Abstraction p420 Artist Tehos Tehos

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212

Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy


Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

dream home 2

play is not just play meryl streep

Special Edition: Niamh Clune—Orange Petals in a Storm

special edition day any

orange petals in the stormOrange Petals in a Storm
Written by Niamh Clune
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Posted On Wednesday 18th September 2013

april thomas  ascension artist group

Check the above site out. April Thomas Blog “Ascension Artist Group” feature authors. Particularly, look for the post featuring Niamh Clune, talking about her foundations in life and her desire to write. The book she is featuring is “Orange Petals in a Storm.” A fantasy of a young girl who loses everything when her mother dies. At the beginning of the book she is running through the rain to reach the home she lived in with her mother.

From there the adventure goes back in time to recall all Skyla McFee had to endure and the magic she discovered in her imagination which helped in a huge way to help her cope with the situation she found herself stuck in. Read the book to find out what materializes from within Skyla McFee’s imagination. It will surprise you, delight you, and hold your attention to the very last page.

I have followed the author, Niamh Clune, from the first day I became aware of her genius in the use of words and language. Five stars, I give to all her books. Another of which is “The Coming of the Feminine Christ,” a book of truth, an amazing confrontation with an angel in the middle of a Virgin Forrest, [she wasn't alone when she witness the materialization with the Angel ], it was profound for all, but a message was transmitted into Dr. Clune’s mind, a message meant for all of mankind. We need to change our ways or all will be lost.

There are many more offerings in this amazing book, which will open up your mind to other understandings. “The Coming of the Feminine Christ” is right up there with “Orange Petals in a Storm” as a Five Star Book.

Niamh Clune is a brilliant writer and poet, excelling in everything she sets her mind to and oh, what a brilliant mind. Her soul and heart shine through in all that she writes and all she does.

Do check out this site and search out the post on the author Niamh Clune. It, also, gives you locations where you can purchase these marvelous books. Also, see below for those link.

We all need “Orange Petals in a Storm” and “The Coming of the Feminine Christ” in our reading collections. Once you have read them once, you will want to repeat the experience. Written by Jennifer Kiley — Jk the secret keeper

Behind The Books Featured Author: Niamh Clune [Find Here]
Niamh Clune: Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2013 12:59 PM

You will find Orange Petals In A Storm Find Here

The Coming Of The Feminine Christ
Find Here

And my children’s books are on the plum tree books web-site

Private Writings: Chapter #25 — Private Dancer

private writings by jennifer kileyPrivate Writings: Chapter #25 — Private Dancer
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Published Introduction & Chapter #1 On 19th March 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On 10rd September 2013


Crypticistic Synopsis:

I am writing to Dr. Annie Haskell. My form of storytelling is through letters containing dreams, thoughts, poems, music, describing my script ‘Brief Sacrifice,’ already made into a film but not yet released, psychotherapy, inspirations, reflective comments, the inner workings of the mind, soul, body, emotions, and bipolar. I prefer mentally creative, interesting, or having a brain misfiring. Included in the mix are childhood abuse, car crashes, near drownings, drugs [the illegal kind at present], hallucinations, hypersexuality, time warps, finding answers to unsolved mysteries, infatuation, imagination, fantasy,

and a need to discover my bliss.
See you inside.
— Namaste! Madison Taylor

Private Writings: Chapter #24 — Private Dancer

Tuesday 11th March 2008

Dear Annie,

What do I say to you about our first day of private therapy.

If you could imagine my waiting for you to come out to get me in the waiting room. My insides were flipping over. The chair could have floated out from underneath me, I was ascending to the ceiling so often. Then it came. Your hand gently resting on my shoulder. The electric current woke me from a trance. My ear buds were in. Music was high, playing ‘Everything I Do, I Do It For You.’ I’m sure you’re familiar with Bryan Adams.

You touched me. It was the first time. So unexpected but I didn’t flinch. Your hand felt so safe. No touch does from people. Why, then was it okay with you? Therapy began in a moment I never will forget.

I didn’t say anything. Just followed you to your office. It was exactly how my mind imagined it. There is a photograph in my head. Your office is exactly identical. I have been seeing the future again.

What did we talk about? I was in a daze. Being alone with you was overwhelming. After the long wait of wishing for just this day. It seemed like being inside of a dream I’ve been dreaming forever. You have been buried, living inside my mind. You are the one.

Explaining what I mean is beyond human words. It is buried in memories outside of time. A recurring sense of familiarity without any connection till now. It is of times past. Other lives. Reincarnation. Having been together before now. We knew and lived in other times together. What I am writing sounds certifiable to most. Look how people tease Shirley MacLaine. People believe but are embarrassed by believing in such seemingly bizarre, other dimensional phenomena. I do believe mostly, but have doubts when others question the strength of my beliefs.

I am so easily influenced. What I believe floats with the breeze and seems too easily changeable as is the direction of the wind. It is not because I don’t belief what I do belief, it’s my need to question everything. Which leaves me feeling confused, as though I stand on the solidness of quicksand most of the time.

Everything in life confuses me. In a moment I will believe in something being as real as anything can be. In a flash the connection is broken. Reality turns into a nightmare of chaotic brainwaves of disbelief. A crumbling of my reality into a collection of delusional thoughts, a puzzle where the pieces don’t fit together any way you try to make sense of them.

I lose track. Stop knowing what to believe. Testing anything becomes too frightening. The fear, is my reality is false, and my delusions are true. What does one do when thinking and feeling like the world is alien, which trips back and forth at will, no control from within me.

I think it is why I like fantasy. Watching movies. Reading books. Writing outrageous fiction. Creating cryptic poetry. The abstract is more acceptable. It can be whatever it wants to be. Change when it wants to. It is simply accepted. A true shape-shifter. Maybe I am one. Never the same. Always someone different.

Will you be able to help me. I need a complete internal make-over. Inside of me lives a very fucked up mess. Filled with fear. Wanting to love but retreating as soon as it feels too close. Reaching for it. Shutting down when it is given. I would say I am really screwed. The up part I let it be cut off. Most of the time I don’t feel up. When I do, it drives everyone crazy except me. I don’t live outside my body. I don’t notice the extreme agitation and rage. I become fixated and driven. I have no idea why I feel the way I do, except most of the moments when I am awake I chase after the muse to keep up. Exactly like Alice with her White Rabbit. I fall down the Rabbit Hole on a regular basis.

The Mad-Hatter is a really great friend, if one can be friends with someone as crazy as you are. Actually, maybe it is easier. Is there a direction we can take to relieve the pressure? The urges to want out of this world. Oh, yeah, the state of suicidal thinking is a regular visitor in my head. We are co-operating companions. I won’t let her harm me, she knows it is true, so the deal is, I let her exist as long as she lets me have my moments of being in my bliss or high, so I can write and create. She even helps sometimes find those hidden meanings and depth I find so elusive. She knows the secret passageways to memories. Knowledge one can’t find in the wide awake world. Too much bright light can hide the views of the darkness. The answers lie in the darkness. The ones I am seeking.

So what did we talk about. I asked you to tell me who you were. Not using those words. You told me you had a daughter in high school, ninth grade I believe. She wants to be an actor. The plays and musicals she’s been in, all were as the lead. See if my memory fails or leads me to the correct answers. Memory failure is common with me. To begin with, she played Maria in West Side Story. Let me think, she was Juliet in Shakespeare’s modernized production of my beloved ‘Romeo and Juliet.’ Marvelous play. Such an ending, an example of extremely bad timing all around for all those ending up dead. Quite a high number but not as severe as Hamlet.

Which brings me to Hamlet. Her school switched things up a bit on Elizabethan rules, had a lady playing a young man in the way of Hamlet. Your daughter was the lucky one to win the sweet role. The sheer fact at her age to succeed at doing a shortened version of Hamlet or any version is extremely difficult. But you told me she always received excellent write-ups in the local paper and school paper, on all her performances. Which makes me feel and think I would like to meet her someday. Make an attempt to write her the perfect part in one of my screenplays. We will discuss this. If she has aspirations toward being a professional actor, Scottie, my partner in life and career, is a director. We have our own production company, ‘Infinite Imaginations, Inc. III.’ If you would like and she agrees, we could arrange a screen test, see how she appears through the eye of the camera.

If you help to fix me, I would be overjoyed to help you with your daughters future in the world of film. It would, actually be my pleasure. You would know she’d be safe with Scottie watching out for her. And I’d write her an Oscar winning role. Not over-confident, am I?

This leads me right into my favorite part of writing to you. I love telling you about my work and particularly my latest script, ‘Brief Sacrifice.’ We left off with Carter pursuing a lead, following the trail of the Magic Silver Box without any seams and impossible to open. Carter needed the input of her three companions, Jasper, Jax, and James, her Savannah Cats. James’ specific psychic ability was the best way to sort things out but they must follow the trail of its origin.

The first destination was the Estate where Carter purchased her Treasure. Hopefully, they could provide information as to the origins or name of the deceased whose Estate was being sold. If Carter had that name, it could lead to other connections.

After arriving, they found the caretaker. He directed Carter to the lawyer’s office who managed the deceased estate. The firm was hired by Jackson Sharp, to take care of closing out the estate. They directed Carter to where she could locate him.

When she found Jackson Sharp, he invited her in, as though he was expecting her. After the amenities, he asked her and her companions to make themselves very comfortable, for he, Jackson Sharp had a story to tell them.

He started out his story as follows: “The deceased was the Leader of the Organization: The Friends of Nikola Tesla. He managed the Friends of Nikola Tesla since shortly after his, Tesla’s, death at a young age . He died penniless after creating amazing inventions. He worked for Edison, whom he had no affection for but was fortunate to have acquired the support of an extremely wealthy entrepreneur in Morgan and later joined by another wealthy benefactor.”

“Tesla was moving forward with his inventions until he came upon a way for everyone in the world to have free electricity by simply putting a specially devised pole in the ground. The best part is the power from these sources would not only make electricity free, it would eventually create absolutely no need for the use of fossil fuels. Oil that is, Texas gold.”

“Well, his wealthy benefactors did not want this invention to ever see the light of his invention. They buried him. Withdrew their financial support. No one was ever going to see his dream in action. It did sneak into the invention of the Tesla Electric Car, which is doing very well.”

“After Tesla’s death, the U.S. Government absconded with all his possessions where he was living, and hid them away. Did they get everything, though? I believed in Nikola Tesla, myself, once I heard the story from the old man who died. I’m sorry I cannot tell you his identity, it was my promise to never reveal his secret.

“Tesla was brilliant. Did anyone believe he would not have secret locations where he would hide his own secret inventions. Especially after all which had been stolen from him. He was sure to want to leave a legacy for the future where he hoped there would be those who would understand his genius and his amazing capabilities. I am privileged to those secrets. During the remaining years of his life, the old man, with a group of secret individuals of like minds, protected Nikola Tesla’s answers to the future of humankind.”

“These secrets are set to be passed down through generations until humankind is worthy of the powers Nikola Tesla put into his work and dreams. Even the powers of electricity free for all is well hidden away until the world can rid itself of the parasites who live off the energy of the masses. Who cast them aside as though they meant nothing. The .01% of the population are those parasites who are starving the world as they destroy the beauty in nature and make slaves of the majority of humankind. Their day will fall. They will disappear for good.”

“On that day, all the secrets will be revealed. Humankind will make a change. All will be new. The world will be recreated. This is Nikola Tesla’s dream and what Friends of Nikola Tesla are protecting until the time comes for his Dream to be put into full action.”

“All of this is contained in a special Silver Box filled with Magical abilities. This Magic has the capability to alter the world enough so that Change and Truth can be revealed. If I am not mistaken,” Jackson Stark said. “You are in possession of this Silver Box ?”

“Yes, that is correct, but how did you know?” Carter said.

“It was meant to belong to you. You were chosen. I will explain, but let us rest now. I will have arrangements made for you, Carter, and your companions to stay here for while. It’s just for your own protection.”

“What protection? Why do we need protection?”

“The contents of the Silver Box is being searched for as we speak. Many extremely dangerous people will not stop ever until it is found, those who have knowledge of it and those who are in possession of it, are all destroyed. What you hold in your possession is truly Magical, with powers you will find very difficult to understand. It is too soon to get into what it is. The time will be soon enough.”

“Now let me show you to your suite, where you can make your selves comfortable. I will prepare a delicious meal for everyone. Don’t worry Jasper, Jax and you, too, James. I know James, you are the Special One with all the psychic talents. It’s rare to find a cat who matches up with a companion who understands his ability. You can, can’t you, Carter! You have the Magic, also. That is partly why you were all chosen. But there you are. I am getting ahead of myself. I will leave now. Get comfortable. You will find snacks for all in the small refrigerator over against the wall, just over there. Now, I take my leave. Dinner will come shortly, I promise. I will ring you on the intercom. Rest. You will need it for what’s ahead.”

He disappeared. They did as he said and all rested.

And I will stop there. Leave you wanting more.

What a day. A dream comes true. Fear is rising. But telling you my tale of Magic calms me down.

I know I didn’t say anything about the group. What I would have to write would take away from the specialness of having you all to myself today. I don’t want to think about group anymore. I wish it would just end. Be done with it. The only reason I still go now is to see you. Now I can do that on my own. I will leave group at saying there is little I will miss. The past too many years have only been a disaster I should have ended long ago. But I know now, why I didn’t. It was meant for me to live through, till the day came I would meet you, Annie. Serendipity. Maybe. Sometimes what leads up to it can be extremely painful. I needed to learn what I didn’t need, to discover what I do need, and want. Enough from that lesson. Let it be over now. Enough!

Time to stop.

Until I see you next time.

Fondly and Gratefully, I sign off with much appreciation to you, Annie.

Always Want To Know You,


Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry



rain in garden giftrusting
written by madison taylor
monday 10th february 2008

trusting the newness
memories overturning
in graves their awakening

arms pull warmth to me
body’s touching silky skin
caressing gently my dreams

feeling hands inside
flesh responds in still silence
open wanting pleads let go

© madison taylor 2008

a matter of time --- artist katherine patrick

a matter of time — artist katherine patrick

Nothing Out There — Soundcloud — Soundtrack ‘Brief Sacrifice’

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out
With a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212

Patrick-our Bengal cat up in his tree-Scottie’s buddy

Havana Brown Kitten  Madison and Scottie's kitten One of the Two   800x600

Havana Brown Kitten Madison & Scottie’s. This cutie is Toker. He has a twin brother Mikey

Chateau de Rocher Art Gallery  999x752

Chateau de Rocher Art Gallery

play is not just play meryl streep

Favorite Top Ten Films of All Time [#10 & #9]

Favorite Top Ten Films of All Time [#10 & #9]
List Created by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Movie Trailers by Jk the secret keeper
Post Created on Thursday 15th August 2013
Posted On Friday 16th August 2013

dedicated to roger ebert film friday5 stars

Favorite Top Ten Films of All Time [#10 & #9]
List Created by Jennifer Kiley

Over the next 10 posts on FILM FRIDAY I am going to be sharing each week two of my Favorite Top Ten Films of All Time and Best Top Ten Films of All Times. I will do two films a week starting with my Favorites going backwards from #10, working my way forward to #1. When I have presented all of my Favorites, I will start with #10 of what I feel are the Best Top Ten Films of All Time, also, doing two films at a time. With the Best Top Ten I will try to be impartial in my choices. They will be what I feel, from having watched them all, the films I feel are truly the Best Top Ten Films of All Times. After I have completed both lists, I will do a complete list of each in a separate post of their own.

After everyone has had their chance of seeing what I have chosen, I would be curious if anyone has a film or films that are not on the Best of the Top Ten Films of All Time, that they leave a comment for me with their own choice of film or films that I have not mentioned or if you agree with me, please feel free to let me know. From my favorites, I realize that is much more subjective, but I would love to hear what films on my Favorites list people have enjoyed and feel the same way. Also, if you so desire, please feel free to leave a comment on what your Favorite Film is or what are some of your Top Ten Films. I am always interested and curious what films are out there that other people feel are great films. I am a true cinephile and watch the best films I feel are made.

I have had my disappointments and it is discouraging when you have such high hopes for a film and it falls short of your expectations. Maybe some day I will do a list of the films I thought were going to be great and gave me the biggest disappointments.

Enjoy my choices and how I present them with trailers, posters, photos and short or sometimes longer reviews of each film. Thank you, Jennifer Kiley

ps. Someday I would just like to make a list of all the films I highly recommend for people to see that I feel are unforgettable. There are so many. Maybe like AFI, American Film Institute, I will list my top 100 films that I feel everyone should see at least once in their life. Only give a minimum of details and break it down to 10 films per post. That is a challenge to eliminate so many films and only include 100, for I have enjoyed a great many films that I am sure surpass thousands over the course of my viewing time and pleasure. But I will try.

For now I offer you the #10 and #9 of my Favorite Films of All Times. If you haven’t seen any of the films I mention in both Favorite and Best Films, I do highly recommend you take the time out, if you love films, to check these films out. They come from different genres, some from the same, but all a delight or thought provoking and I have seen them all multiple times. And more than likely will see them again multiple times. If you just have time to see the Best Films of All Times, then by all means watch those 10 films. You will understand after you view them, why they were chosen. Enjoy!!!

5 stars


NASHVILLE is the Oscar-winning 1975 masterpiece, an ambitious multi-narrative drama focusing on the country music capital in the days leading up to a convention by an unseen presidential candidate. The film featured two dozen main characters. Robert Altman, director, intertwined multiple lives in a most meaningful way. When the film starts out, one is introduced to a great diversity of people. I just sat and watched in wonder how all the cast of 24 characters were going to all join up by the end of the film. NASHVILLE was my second experience with Robert Altman’s storytelling genius.

Nashville Movie Poster 1975

Nashville Movie Poster 1975

The first was M*A*S*H*, which I watched with my brother, in a theatre, just after he had returned from Vietnam on leave. I was concerned that he wouldn’t find the humour in Altman but he thought M*A*S*H* was hysterical. I was hooked on Altman from these two films forward. He is amazing and I highly recommend if you have a chance to see any of his many films you do just that. One of my favorites is ‘Beyond Therapy’ which is almost impossible to find.

Characters from NASHVILLE

Characters from NASHVILLE

I find you need an extremely off the wall sense of humour. If you do, this film is so for you. It has Glenda Jackson, Tom Conti, Jeff Goldblum, Julie Haggerty and an assortment of French actors and a cast of wild and weird characters that just make you want to laugh. Oh, I forgot to mention Christopher Guest. Outrageous!!! Robert Altman is no longer with us. It was a sad day when he left this world. No more new Altman to absorb and enjoy.



Nashville — Trailer — Directed by Robert Altman


NASHVILLE Ronee Blakeley

I’m Easy — Keith Carradine



A Conversation with Robert Altman [Pt. 1]

A Conversation with Robert Altman [Pt. 2]
[R.I.P Karen Black July 1, 1939 – August 8, 2013]


5 stars


suddenly last summer doing something evil



SuddenlyLastSummer ET MC

Suddenly Last Summer [1959] Elizabeth Taylor Film Trailer



Suddenly Last Summer KH MC ET

1959_Suddenly_Last_Summer ET  MC


suddenly last summer kate hepburn

Suddenly Last Summer

Magnificent performances by Katharine Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor, and Montgomery Clift. It ignites this glowing adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ play. It puts in opposite corners the innocent Catherine up against her aunt Violet as they battle over the memory and reality of Violet’s son, Sebastian Venable. Catherine is literally fighting for her life, her memories and who she is.

There are suggestions of incest and homosexuality along with all the family jealousies, Violet wants to silence Catherine and the new doctor wants to help her remember. Violet, also, is fascinated with the young doctor (Clift) as much as the young doctor is hypnotized by the need in Catherine for a hero to rescue her from the snake pit and the horrible thing Violet wants to have done to her. Violet wants the girl committed to an asylum where she will be given a lobotomy. The girl battles back as she struggles to recall the real truth about Sebastian. She has shut down from the trauma. Her greedy family are more than willing to sacrifice Catherine for a large pay-off. All that surround Catherine and the young doctor are vultures waiting to pick Catherine’s bones. The asylum is run by a greedy doctor, also, who only wants Venable’s money for a new hospital wing.

It seems that Sebastian had cast aside mother dearest (Hepburn) for his summer trip and takes a young and beautiful Catherine (Taylor), Mother doesn’t take well to the rejection and begins working out her satisfying revenge. But then Sebastian dies and she goes into mourning. One is never quite sure what happens to Sebastian, whether he is symbolically eaten by the boys he has sexually preyed on or if they actually cannibalize him to death. But the sight of his death drives Catherine nuts. His mother, of course, is in denial of every unsavory trait Sebastian possessed.

Brilliant dialog and two wonderful, long soliloquies by Hepburn and Taylor highlight the performances. The symbolism is fairly obvious for its implied tale of homosexuality. Elizabeth Taylor and Katherine Hepburn earned Oscar nominations for best actress. Suddenly Last Summer is a mesmerizing story with great performances. It has great writing from Gore Vidal and the acting make Suddenly Last Summer so brilliant. It is a must see more than once. Over the years, I have watched it multiple times, starting when I do believe it was beyond my complete comprehension. I was a kid when I first watched it. It really isn’t meant for children. But I picked up a general idea of what was happening. The three actors in Katherine Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor and Montgomery Clift hold you in the palm of their hands throughout. You cannot go wrong if you want intelligent, thought provoking, absorbing, mind opening entertainment. Not that entertainment is exactly word, I would better say that you will be enlightened. Written & Edited by Jennifer

5 stars

Private Writings: Chapter #21 — Affair to Forget

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013
Private Writings: Chapter #21 — Affair to Forget
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Introduction & Chapter #1 Published 19th March 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted On 13th August 2013


Private Writings: Chapter #21 — Affair to Forget

Tuesday 12th February 2008


It has been released, Angie’s death was not from natural causes. The determination has not ruled in or out suicide or a possible murder. Her husband has been taken to the police station for questioning and some time this week they are going to question people from the Mental Health Clinic of Beverly Hills, where she was being treated as an out-patient. Well, that was pretty vague. We don’t know any more than we did last week. We do know her husband is a possible suspect in her death but no formal charges have been made.

I wonder if it will come out she was having an affair with Dr. George. Now, I think she was. Dr. George accused me of telling everyone he was having an affair. Now, who could that person have been but Angie. He is always defending her. Every one saw how he treated her in group and after. They were always flirting. It was impossible not to notice. Dr. George, I think found the pressure became too much. Maybe he killed her.

My theory is, he wanted to end it. She didn’t and threatened him with exposure. That would have been his career. If she threatened him, saying she would to go to Head of the Clinic, Dr. George would be fired if this came out. He couldn’t let that happen. Off with her head. Add to that, the pressure between us was growing, when it came to his lack of support. He kept denying my sense of reality about my feelings. He told me I was imagining things. When I told him certain people I felt were treating me like shit. He told me I was delusional. My perceptions weren’t accurate at all. He wanted me to think I was crazy. His defense of other group members rather than supporting me was driving me crazy. It made the rage build inside of me. What I was feeling started not to make sense. I began to think I was imagining what I was feeling.

But then I would realize, ‘Wait a minute. This is so fucked up. He’s lying to me. I am right about what I feel. He is trying to make me doubt myself.’ It was a constant battle trying to get him to understand how group was effecting me. It was becoming a toxic place. I didn’t feel safe there or with him. There were only a few people I felt I could trust. One of them was Kristina, the other person is you, Annie. When you intercede I feel supported. But why was he trying to fuck with my mind? Only thing that came up, he wants something concrete to hold against me. Some future time, he wants evidence in my records that are false. For whatever reason, I haven’t figured it out yet.

I am not paranoid, Annie. You will see the real me when we start meeting in private sessions. I am not crazy. There is something very wrong. I feel it. No one is telling me what it is. I can’t figure it out yet. That’s why I need your help. Who I am is really confusing to me. I need someone without an agenda to help me. What’s going on inside of me? Do you have any idea? That’s what I need you help me understand.

Dr. George and the psychiatrist I see are fucking with my mind and have been for years. She keeps forcing pills on me I don’t want to take, that give me brain fog. I refuse to take them. The pills stopped abruptly, not with her approval. I went cold. Literally, and the reverb from the withdrawal was really nasty. If I think about it, that’s when everything started to change.

Dr. George became hostile. Dr. Reagan freaked her freak and flipped out on me. She is one angry bitch. The lecture has lasted from day one of ‘stop the drugs I want to get off’ and hasn’t stopped since. I keep telling her I just need some good medicinal marijuana for stress, my racing thoughts and my frenetic energy. Plus all the other things going through my body and mind. Sometimes I can go for days, if I am on a tear with a film script, I can write straight through the days. She thinks I’m doing coke. Told her no way, I don’t need coke. I am naturally high.

We need to work on this. I hate seeing her. She keeps telling me my symptoms of depression and feeling suicidal are caused by what happened to me when I was a child. I don’t think so. And I tell her she is wrong. But she won’t listen to me, no matter what I say. But fuck that. I don’t want to think about any of those fucking people.

Be gone from my mind. Let me mellow and tell you what is going to happen next in Brief Sacrifice, it is way cool, I promise you. You are going to have your mind blown away at what’s going to be coming at you. The wildest idea hit me as I was writing this script. Flashes of insight and magical thoughts danced across my mind. It is so far out what I came up with as the secret mystery. You are going to love it.

But take it slow, I don’t want to reveal too much. Today, I will tell you enough to hold you until next time. Time travel is the key. That we began to establish in the last letter. It’s what will occur to cause this to happen. Carter and her three giant Savannah cats, Jasper, Jax and James are all excited. Their discovery was too good to be true. What it meant wasn’t exactly clear. Carter spoke to the boys, “I don’t know what this means, but if somehow we are this close to uncovering something to do with time travel, I am going to find a way for all of us to be part of it. Now, boys, lets get working on solving the rest of this puzzle of a code. I want inside of this brief case. There is something hiding in there we need to get at. It holds the other half of the mystery. One hell of a mystery.”

James used his psychic right paw to keep pointing out letters and numbers in specific order and Carter, his mum, kept writing down the code in the order he wanted it to be recorded. They were determined to crack at least the order in which all the numbers and letters fit together. Carter has the book Somewhere In Time sitting on the coffee table near the briefcase, just waiting to use it when the time came to decipher the complete code.

Last time the title was revealed from the initials S.I.T. to be Somewhere In Time. The other initials were R.M., which stood for the name of the author of the book Richard Matheson. Then there was the number 62. Carter felt that was most likely a page number but she forgot to check that out. And now suddenly, it dawns on her as she is recording the other code in order of James’ psychic paw, that she should be looking up that page number 62 to see what is written there and to see if it will help with the rest of the code.

“What is the matter with me boys?” Carter proclaimed loudly. “I forgot about the 62. Now all these other numbers and the letters E.M and R.C., they have to be initials. The numbers more page numbers. Also, somewhere in there in the code is the combination to open the briefcase and is telling us something about whats inside of it.”

“So lets take a break and let me check that out right now. This very moment. All things must stop.”

Carter picked up the book Somewhere In Time and opened it to page 62 and looked at it. This is what came to her attention almost immediately: [excerpts from Somewhere In Time by Richard Matheson]

“The stage is her life, her close friends always said. Love-making is not for her. Yet once, to me, in an unguarded moment, a moment never again repeated, she hinted that there had been someone. As she spoke of it, I saw, within her eyes, a tragic light I’d never seen before. She gave no details beyond referring to it, with a sad smile, as ‘My Coronado scandal.’”

It did happen here then.

*** *** ***

The final chapter; on her death. I feel a crushing weight inside me.
Quote: “She died of a heart attack in October 1953 after—”

“—after attending a party at Stephens College, Columbia, Missouri, where she had taught dramatics for a number of years.”

She and I were in the same location once before then.
But at the same time.

Why do I feel so strange?

Her dying words are quoted. No one, says the author, ever understood the significance.
“And love, most sweet.”

What does that remind me of?

A Christian Science hymn. Except the words are: “And life, most sweet, as heart to heart, speaks kindly when we meet and part.”
Oh, dear God.

I think I was at that party.

I think I saw her.

I’m having trouble breathing. There’s a pulsing at my temples, at my wrists. My head feels numb.
Did it really happen?

Yes; I was there. I know it. It was after a play at Stephens. My date and I were at a party for the cast.
And I recall her saying … I can’t recall her face or her name, yet I recall her words….
“You have an admirer, Richard.”
I looked across the room … there was an old woman sitting on a sofa with some girls.

Looking at me.

Oh, dear Lord, it couldn’t have been.

Why was that woman looking at me then?

As if she knew me.


Was that the night Elise McKenna died?

Was that old woman really her?

I’m looking at the photograph again.

Elise. Oh, God; Elise.

Did I put that look on your face?

*** *** ***

…All right, she looked at me as though she knew me. I reminded her of someone, that’s all. Of the man she’d known here.

…Why in November?

Why in the very week that she was here? … Why did I see that photograph? Why did it move me so? Why did I fall in love with her, begin to read about her?

Was it me?

*** *** ***

…Yet that single item seems larger every time I think about it: that she looked at me as though she knew me and, that very night, died of a heart attack.
A sudden thought. Why didn’t she speak to me?

Don’t be ridiculous. How could she? In her late eighties, talk to a boy not yet twenty about a love they might have shared fifty-seven years before?
If it had been me, I would have done the same thing: remained silent, then died.

…If I really did all this, wouldn’t it be kinder not to go back? Then her life would go on, undisturbed.

…How casually I sit here talking about changing history.

…I’ve read these books.
What was done to her has already been done.
Therefore, I have no choice.
I must go back.

…Don’t confuse me with facts, Collier. At least, not with facts that prove it can’t be done. What I have to fill my head with now are facts which prove it can be done.

Where do I find those facts though?

*** *** ***

…There are many possibilities…her favorite music in my head, her favorite wine trickling down my throat…learn about the time I mean to circumvent.
And all of this here. In this hotel. This precise location where, seventy-five years distant, even as I speak these words, Elise McKenna breathes and moves.

*** *** ***

The Priestley Book

First chapters not helpful.

Part Two: “The Ideas of Time.”
I’ve been reading and taking notes for hours…
I can’t stop, though. I have to learn all I can so I can discover the way to get back to her. Desire is an obvious key. But there must be some technique, some method. I have yet to find that.
But I will, Elise.

*** *** ****


It was the third name down.
R.C. Collier, Los Angeles, Room 350, 9:18 A.M.

*** *** ***
to be continued [end of excerpts from Somewhere In Time by Richard Matheson]

“This is all amazing kids. Time traveling back to someone you have fallen in love with through seeing a photograph on the wall. I know what happens. It is so romantic but I don’t want to get ahead. We are focusing on time travel. What it means has me very excited about finding out how to get into this brief case. And I know the key to Richard Collier getting back in time is important to understand. After we crack the book, lets have a look at the film. That might spark something in my mind. Besides, I love Somewhere In Time. Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour are like magic.”

Jasper, Jax and James snuggle into their mum’s body, purring away. All are feeling satisfied.

Annie, I know this is away from the film I wrote but there is something I need to talk to you about privately. Somehow. we need to find a quiet moment where I can confide in you a secret that will blow everything wide open. I will wait patiently. You will be my psychoanalyst very soon. Sooner then even I had predicted.

We really do need to talk. Until next time.

Fondly & Needing You,

Sets & Animals for Film: Brief Sacrifice with Lead Character CARTER MCLEOD. [Portrayed by BAFTA Nominated Actor NATALIE STEPHENS] Savannah Cats are Carter’s. Screenplay: MADISON TAYLOR. Director: SCOTTIE ANDREWS Production Co.: INFINITE IMAGINATIONS, INC. [TRIPLE III] {Madison Taylor & Scottie Andrews Formed Their Production Co. 10 year ago in 1997.}

'Brief Sacrifice' English Garden 734x492

‘Brief Sacrifice’ English Garden

Open White Kitchen  796x862

Open White Kitchen

Carter McLeod's Study with Her Laptop Black Desk Library  800x600

Carter McLeod’s Study with Her Laptop Black Desk Library

'Brief Sacrifice Savannah Cat Jasper Lounging on Carter's Desk Chair

‘Brief Sacrifice Savannah Cat Jasper Lounging on Carter’s Desk Chair

'Brief Sacrifice' Film Set Library 626x626

‘Brief Sacrifice’ Film Set Library

Every Detail in the Two Story Living Room Is Done with Precision from the Crown Moldings to the Carvings on the Fireplace  800x600

Every Detail in the Two Story Living Room Is Done with Precision from the Crown Moldings to the Carvings on the Fireplace

'Brief Sacrifice' Film Set Bedroom Carter McLeod's Mansion

‘Brief Sacrifice’ Film Set Bedroom Carter McLeod’s Mansion

Blue Anemone

Blue Anemone

Annie Haskell --- Madison Tayler's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Office as a Psychoanalyst

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

rain in garden gif

Spirits Killed Through Lies
Written by Madison Taylor
11th February 2008

Denying tested truth
In place spewing forth lies
Protectors of sanity
Causing insane thoughts
To pass through
The trusting soul
Lying repeatedly
Weakens the resolve
Breaks it not into pieces
Cracks the surface
Into resonating grains
Abstract images forming
Mind perceiving blackness
White attempts covering the ebony
Lines of string crusted white
Blinding the darkness
So only the light is capable of sight

When asked
Avoided colours of white
Submit alternative black lies
Arresting the innocence
Locking it in darkest of dungeons
Confusing the frustration
Existing in delusions
Inside the innocent
Trusting mind
Conflicting the evidence

Appearances of evil
In the degrees
Inside the head
The processes clash
Echoing loudly in disturbance
A differently acknowledged reality
Consistent evidence forging the surface
Raging against the lies with knowledge
Proving regularly the lies
Yet surrendering the sense of real
To those who should know
But cheat using their authority

Makes black stronger than white
Black overwhelming light
Darkness overpowering truth
Blotting out senses of reality
Eventually the infection bursts open
The growing tumour is exposed
The professionals are trapped
Their lies contagion
Finally revealed

Tumbling off the mountain
Pushing unnecessary
Edges fall away
Sheep lose footing
Following the others
Crashing into the waves
Of the angry sea
Washing away
Out into the whirlpool
Sucked to the bottom
Of the darkest sea
Ending the lies

© madison taylor 2008

“The Urge To Destroy Is Creative.”

Anunciata --- Watercolour on Paper

Anunciata — Watercolour on Paper

Evanescence — The Other Side

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out with a dream.
It is all a dream
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

english garden off the back marble patio  972x732

English garden off the back marble patio

Patrick when he was five weeks. He is a Bengal kitten. Madison gave to Scottie as a present for her Birthday. As he grows he becomes devoted to her.

Patrick when he was five weeks. He is a Bengal kitten. Madison gave to Scottie as a present for her Birthday. As he grows he becomes devoted to her.

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. He loves Scotties. They are buddies.   1612x1212

Patrick is our Bengal cat in tree. It is protected area. Patrick cannot leave property from there. He loves Scottie. They are buddies.

Living Room Ope Wide with Windows

Living Room Open Wide with Windows

Bright Kitchen  3456x2304

Bright Kitchen

Bedroom Madison and Scottie Share with High Windows --- Great During Thunderstorms & Rain

Bedroom Madison and Scottie Share with High Windows — Great During Thunderstorms & Rain

Glass Ceiling  3977x2848

Glass Ceiling

Awesome lighted treehouse on the estate of chateau de rocher  642x432

Awesome lighted tree-house on the estate of Chateau de Rocher. A place of escape for Madison. She liked to run away when she was a kid. Climbing trees were her favorite places to hide. Scottie had this built for Madison as their 10th Anniversary present.

play is not just play meryl streep

Just A Spoonful of Sugar

Just A Spoonful of Sugar
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Created 24th July 2013
Posted On Wednesday 24th July 2013
Lightness of Being

The-Sound-of-Music-gif-julie-andrews-in abbey after getting back from mtn top

My first moments seeing Julie Andrews. She was doing a marvelously funny concert at Carnegie Hall with Carol Burnett by her side. This was 1962. It was love at first sight and my love affair began. I have seen every film that Julie has ever made. Before video and DVD, when I was a kid I would go to Mary Poppins as often as possible. It was fortunate my grandfather loved the film. He would go with me. I was way too young to go by myself.

The-Sound-of-Music-gif-julie-andrews-coming back from honeymoon

But it was actually The Americanization of Emily that really brought out my feelings of a true attraction to Julie when she was portraying the character of Ms. Emily Barham, a driver for the American soldiers over in England during WWII. She met a Lt. Commander Charles Madison and with a spake on the bottom from him and a slap in his face for doing that, it was love at first site.

julie-andrews AofE going to kiss james garner

They just didn’t know it. Madison was played by James Garner. This film cemented it for me with my crush on Julie. I could barely breath whenever I looked at her or heard her voice.

julie in AofE party playing bridge

Imagine how I felt when I saw The Sound of Music. The song Edelweiss, when it was sung by the captain and Maria was standing in the corner. My breathing stopped. I think I held my breath through that scene every time it was on the screen.

torn curtain-gif-julie-andrews-

This film is the record breaking film of all times of the most watched film by me while it was still in a theatre. I easily over my life have watched The Sound of Music over 125 times. And as far as the Soundtrack to the film, I wore out more LPs than I recall and tapes and now CDs. I even now have it on MP3. I am a committed fan.

julie SOM

That is why I have brought you a great piece of music with Julie Andrews singing a duet with her pal Carol Burnett of a variety of show tunes from Broadway Shows. To follow that, I have the basic musical and a few talking scenes from Mary Poppins, followed by a 6 part collection of videos of the making of Mary Poppins. [the 6 part collection of the Making of Mary Poppins was just too much for one post, so I have decided to do a dedication to Julie and Blake Edwards on FILM FRIDAY on 26th June 2013, it would be Blake's Birthday.]

julie striking in black dress

It is a delight to listen and watch all of this assortment of entertainment. I do hope you enjoy them all or maybe just listen to your favorites, if you have any. I know there are a great many Julie Andrews fans out there and definitely Mary Poppins fans. Relax. Press play and enjoy. If you want to write or create or just listen, feel free. A love letter to Julie Andrews. From Jennifer Kiley @>-;–

julie-andrew AofM emily laughing on grow rolling

julie-andrews beach on barbados in tamarind seed

julie-andrews blake edwards getting married
Blake Edwards and Julie Andrews Getting Married

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp reaching into carpet bag

Julie & Carol at Carnegie Hall – History of Musical Comedy

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-MP the look

Sister Suffragette—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp turning

The Perfect Nanny—Mary Poppins—Jane & Michael

MarywithBanks and childrens letter

The Nanny Flying Scene—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-MP up the stairs

Spoonful of Sugar—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

Mary-Poppins with robin on finger spoonful of sugar

Love To Laugh—Mary Poppins—Ed Wynn & Co.

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews spoonful

Mary Poppins: “I Never Explain Anything”

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews the look 1

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins-gif-julie-andrews-mp michael jane

Feed the Birds—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

Mary Poppins

Stay Awake—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews

mary poppins bert michael jane on roof

Chim-chiminey—Mary Poppins—Julie Andrews & Dick Van Dyke

Mary_Poppins_(1964) smiling  crop

Let’s Go Fly a Kite—Mary Poppins

Mary-Poppins on cloud waiting for the call with carpet bag parrot umbrella

Julie Andrews Winning Oscar for Best Actress in Mary Poppins

mp poster with oscar win 4 julie

Check Reality at the Door

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013
Check Reality at the Door
Private Writings — The Story of Writing the Book
Private Writings to a Psychoanalyst
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Post Created 16th Tuesday July 2013
Posted On Tuesday 23rd July 2013 [I Was Born.]

Dear Fantasy & Imagination & Belief,

Now I Am Reborn Into Myself. As I Write This Book I Am Building My Life As I Am Building This Book. It Is An Adventure. It Is An Experiment I Am Taking To It’s Conclusion. At The End There Is A Screenplay That Is Waiting To Be Finished Once We See How This Turns Out. The Screenplay I Speak Of Has Been Completely Written. It Went Down With The Double Crash Of My Hard Drive. It Now Lives In My Head And Some Index Cards On A Screenwriting Program. The Ghosts Of That Screenplay Are Waiting Patiently. They Want To Know How Their Futures Are Going To Grow And Into What.

I Have Written Two Endings To That Screenplay. One: Is It Real? Two: Did Everything That Happen Really Happen? All Is A Secret. It Is All Opened Up To Any Possibilities Of Reality Or Fantasy. The Original Screenplay And Now This Book. An Adaptation Of A Manuscript That I Kept Diligent And Daily Entries. Now It Is Being Converted Into A Fiction With An Edge. No Restrictions Attached To This Creative Endeavor. There Is One Major Requirement: To Keep On Creating Where Ever It Leads. Into Darkness Or Into Light All Will Be Revealed. That Is A Guaranteed Eventuality.

madison taylor's study/library  640x480

Madison Taylor’s study-library with Toker and Mikey sleeping the soft-smooth settee.

“This is fun, Annie, teasing you this way. I know you are not getting to appreciate my tale so far but maybe I will start to send my letters to you once we have established a working relationship.

It feels so near. Dr. George is losing it rather quickly…”
— Madison Taylor [Screenwriter: Brief Sacrifice due out end of 2008]

Dr. Annie Haskell's Psychoanalyst's Office

Dr. Annie Haskell’s Psychoanalyst’s Office

From the Book— Private Writings of a Psychoanalyst
Written by Jennifer Kiley

chateau de rocher  scottie andrews and madison taylor and their three cats toker-mikey and patrick live  824x552

Chateau de Rocher is where Scottie Andrews & Madison Taylor & their three cats Toker, Mikey & Patrick live.

A Project with Writing Letters/Poetry/Illustrations/Music/It is a Process of Writing through the Editing of a Manuscript and posting every Tuesday in the Early AM at the link for “the secret keeper” blog. It’s an Adventure. A Mystery. The Unfolding Story of the Screenplay, Brief Sacrifice, within a Collection of Letters. They are telling a story of a relationship being built within the secret writings of a client in a Therapy Group on the way to Self-Destruction.

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English Garden at Chateau de Rocher estate

The writer of the Letters, Madison Taylor, so badly wants the new therapist, Dr. Annie Haskell, who started monitoring the Group the same day Madison returned, after undergoing Cancer Treatments. She wants Annie, as she is referred to in Madison’s letters, to take her on as a client. Her present Therapist and Leader of the Therapy Group, Dr. George is on his way out of his mind and on his way to a future that is looking like it is heading into a territory in Hell.

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family gathering place at chateau de rocher

The Screenplay Brief Sacrifice has already been made into a film, at the time this story takes place, it is in Post-Production. It was written by Madison Taylor. Her partner, Scottie Andrews, is the director. She is in the process of finishing edits and is under pressure to leave town fairly often. This is stressful for Madison who has great difficulty with being left alone for long stretches of time.

bedroom with perfect high windows lots of light. scottie and madison share this room with their cats mikey-toker-patrick

bedroom with perfect high windows lots of light. scottie and madison share this room with their cats mikey-toker-patrick

Madison does use the time efficiently. It gives her a great amount of time she uses to write and create her graphic paintings. When she writes, she focuses particularly on screenplays and poetry. This is all contained in the book. It will keep progressing. There is an undercurrent of a story, some of it true to Madison’s life and some of it is only a fantasy contained in the film, Brief Sacrifice, she worked on creating with Scottie.

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A set piece from Brief Sacrifice which Carter McLeod, the main character of the film, inherited her grandmother’s estate.

Carter’s grandmother provided for her well, with investments that would carry her through to be a full time writer for the entirety of her, a hopefully long life. The rest of her family got a write off of a check for 1,000 pounds a piece. Her grandmother felt they had not accomplished a thing in their lives, and expected an inheritance, but supporting her creative granddaughter, who actually expressed her genuine love for her, and lived with her, is why she received the bulk of her grandmother’s estate, including with it, the mansion and all of the extensive grounds.

Carter’s grandmother was a generous patron to the arts, and she prepared for her dying, making sure her granddaughter Carter would be well provided for when she was gone. While she was alive and after she died only a few years back, she always provided for Carter, the only relative she loved. So the pain was still closely present in Carter’s heart and she missed her grandmother Emma McLeod very much. The Savannah cats, Jasper, Jax and James, they both shared the three of them, of course, they were well provided for in the will. Carter was given their full custody. They loved each other, all of them.

The film contains this massive secret, that as the Letters are being written, a small amount of the film’s story is revealed, as told to Annie, about the character of Carter McLeod, her three Savannah cats, Jasper, Jax and James. Carter is a frustrated but great writer of literature, with a flavour of a touch of mystery blended with some psychological unraveling. Her major problem is, her books are going unnoticed by the Corporate Publishing Houses, who are only looking for trash to publish, that will make them millions, with as little investment in creativity as possible.

Carter must write, no matter the rejection notices, she believes in her creative talent but the frustration comes from the doubts these constant rejections bring to her self confidence. One can only build one’s self-esteem for just so long without feedback of a positive nature.

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Carter McLeod’s Study and library. A cozy space where many a mind-bending word had been entered into her laptop.

So she starts the beginning of the film, going out on adventures. Looking for something magical to inspire her. To keep her beliefs alive. One day she stumbles on an Estate Sale she thinks might be fun. Thinking, maybe she will come upon a treasure no one realizes they possess. Without fail, her mental projections are satisfied, when she comes upon a most unusual looking briefcase, of the old school kind. It looks rather beat up, as though it has been through a tumble or two. It intrigued Carter, especially after she picked it up and discovered its weight was surprisingly heavy. Also, when she tried to open it, not a give at all with the lock, which in all appearances looked like it would just pop right open. Well, from here you need to read from the archives and future letters to discover the mystery of the briefcase and just who was this Carter McLeod.

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James-a neutered male Savannah Cat lounging on his favorite throne of a sofa. He thinks he is a Prince with many fantasies of glorious adventures.

It contains a mystery that will blow a hole in the fabric of the world. Or at least bend minds to see a cleared focus of what exactly it is, this world we live in and how certain truths are concealed or covered continuously by the powers, the masters of the marionettes, that control everything that happens.

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Brief Sacrifice library- living room-fireplace-cozy for Jasper-Jax-James & Carter to hang together.

The mystery of the briefcase, hold a power that has been passed down through the history of time. What is real needs to be checked at the door and disbelief needs to be reexamined. — Jennifer Kiley – author of Private Writings to a Psychoanalyst

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Awesome lighted tree-house on the estate of Chateau de Rocher.

The tree was a place of escape for Madison. She liked to run away when she was a kid. Climbing trees were her favorite places to hide. Scottie had this built for Madison as their 10th Anniversary present. She wanted Madison to be able to escape whenever she felt the need to run. Scottie felt this would be a safe place for her to run to. She would know that Madison was safe.

So this is what this letter writing and poetry, illustrations and music is all about. It is an adventure and a growing process. Mine and yours, an adventure and growth I hope others might find some enjoyment, insight and awareness from, within or from without, that will bring a moment of escape through the music, illustrations, poetry and storytelling. Two stories intertwining into an intriguing manifestation and an escape from reality. Truths might be reveal what is not know or thought of before. Where this is headed, only the muse knows with any certainty and she isn’t revealing it all to me, in anyway. We will all find out when we arrive at any destination, what is going to happen or what will happen. So lets be surprised together. There is quite the tale to be told and mysteries to unfurl.

Until next time.

Madison Taylor

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

play is not just play meryl streep“Pretending is not just play. Pretending is imagined possibility” — Meryl Streep