Best Films Top Ten #11: Fried Green Tomatoes

Fried Green Tomatoes Poster

Fried Green Tomatoes
Best Films Top Ten #11
Special Feature
Post Created by Jk the secret keeper
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Posted Created on Tuesday 15th October 2013
Posted on Friday 18th October 2013
FILM FRIDAY
dedicated to roger ebert film friday

5 stars

Fried Green Tomatoes
Love Story of Idgie & Ruth
Written by Jennifer Kiley
17th October 2013

Romantic. Sad & Joyful. Celebration of two women who love each other. The KKK try to tear their family, life & world apart. They held their common bond in Buddy through his namesake in Ruth’s child Buddy Jr.

The film opens with Idgie, at a single digit age, not wanting to wear a dress for a sibling’s wedding ceremony. She climbs into her tree fort & refuses to come down.

I should take a few steps back. The story of Idgie Threadgoode and Ruth Jamison is told to us through the memories of Ninny Threadgoode. She lives in a nursing home, where one day wanders into the visitors lounge a confused woman who is there with her husband to visit one of his relatives, who hates Evelyn Couch. Her husband ends up visiting alone, while she spends the time alone herself, just wandering around & ends up in the visitors lounge.

A voice comes out of the silence. Ninny & Evelyn meet. A reluctant Evelyn sits with Ninny, who begins to talk her ear off. Evelyn is not sure what she has gotten herself into but she is about to find out. Something surprising, in which she becomes enthusiastic about overtime. It is when Ninny starts telling the story of two special women, one being a direct member of her own family, and the other person, a friend of the family. The family member is Idgie Threadgoode and the other woman is Ruth Jamison.

Their life merging in many different ways turns into one of the most interesting story’s filled with trauma and sadness but also excitement and joy. The film Fried Green Tomatoes is the unusual name of this treat. The story pulls the audience into it & you never want it to end. There is one person you want to see meet his demise as soon as you lay your eyes on him. Mr. Frank Bennett. He is nothing but trouble for everyone he comes in contact with & he must be taken out. I hated him immediately & my hatred grew as I found out more. He was simply put, a violent creep, an abuser, and a brute.

My main focus was what happened between Idgie & Ruth. Idgie’s family wanted Ruth to help guide her in any way possible. “To have a good influence on her.” Did she? That is debatable who had an effect on whom. When she lost her brother, Buddy, who she loved more than anything in the world, she was so devastated she escaped from her life. Slept on the shore of the lake. Big George, who ended up taking care of her for most of her life, watched over her. Ruth, also, lost Buddy that day.

Ruth was Buddy’s fiancée & missed him just as much as Idgie did. Her job was to follow Idgie around & instead of her guiding Idgie, Idgie took control & they had many adventures. Never one she would have thought of herself. One such adventure was to hop a train car & throw food to the poorer people of their area. Basically, stealing from the haves and giving to the have nots. At first Ruth felt it was stealing. Then she saw the hungry children. Her mind changed & so did her enthusiasm.

As Idgie & Ruth get closer. Idgie throws her a great surprise birthday party in the poorer side of town where she hangs out regularly. They drank, played poker & drunk baseball. Ruth got a home run but hit like a girl. Afterwards, the two sat on the shore & practically kissed. But Ruth broke the magic by saying she would be the good daughter and marry the man she was supposed to marry, who turned into Frank Bennett.

Life turned sour after that. Idgie didn’t go to the wedding. But one day she decided to visit Ruth, who kept the screen door between them & hid a huge bruise on her face. Idgie left without knowing. Frank came to the door as Idgie drove away. He had contempt in his eyes.

When Ruth’s mother died, it was time for Ruth to escape. She sent a note to Idgie in a disguise. A cryptic Bible passage. It was a hint she needed rescuing. When Idgie got to Ruth’s place, along with her brother Julian & Big George, she found her upstairs alone, gazing out the window. She told Idgie she was pregnant. Idgie told Ruth she was leaving with her. They got her belongings & as they were ready to exit the front door, Frank came in. By this time, Julian & Big George heard them from the car. In the struggles, he started to carry Ruth over his shoulder up the stairs & told Idgie to leave.

Julian & Big George convinced Frank to put Ruth down. Big George politely threatened him as he was holding his knife. Frank turned around & released Ruth to go down the stairs. Before she took one step down, he kicked her from behind, sending her flying down the stairs to land directly on her stomach. Idgie & Julian helped her up & Big George helped her to the car. Idgie looked straight up at Frank & threatened him, “If you ever touch her again, I’ll kill you.”

Life did change for Idgie & Ruth. They opened the Whistlestop Café. Ruth had her baby & named him Buddy Jr.. They built a life together. They were generous to the poor. One in particular, Smokey Lonesome, frequented Whistlestop Café & they saw to it he was always taken care of with food & a bottle to steady his nerves. Even a warm blanket for an outside room where he could sleep. They were also good to the black folk who came for food. It was a time when whites and blacks didn’t mix. Whistlestop didn’t believe in segregation so they served anyone who wanted a meal.

Grady, the law now, and friend of Idgie’s, told them they had to behave & follow the rules or there would be trouble from the KKK. Idgie knew Grady was a Klan member. But the local group was fairly liberal compared to the way they behaved elsewhere. Idgie & Ruth came to an agreement, they would continue to serve black people but they would have them eat at the picnic tables outside, in the back near the barbeque. That’s where Big George made the best barbeque in the whole of the South.

Further trouble struck one night. Frank heard he had a son. So he came with his Klan members from a state over with bad intentions.. He knocked Sipsey out when he tried to take Buddy. Ruth got wind he was there and stopped him. Sipsey came to & told him she wasn’t afraid of him. He told her she should be. He finally did leave but not until they harassed Big George & tied him up & whipped him. Idgie threatened the Klan if they didn’t stop. Grady stopped her but stepped in himself. He made them leave. Idgie untied Big George & took him away to tend to his wounds.

Frank did return on another night, alone, & stole the baby out of the house. As he was attempting to get into his truck, he was stopped several times by Smokey Lonesome. He punched Smokey & knocked him over several times. When out of the blue someone came up from behind & clobbered him with a cast iron skillet. That was it. He fell to the ground & someone picked up the baby basket. That was the last anyone heard about Frank Bennett.

What was ahead, from that point on seemed to go smoothly but things kept on happening. A member of the law kept looking for Frank Bennett. He ate a lot of the barbeque that Big George prepared. When he asked how they got it to taste so good, Sipsey [Cicely Tyson] told him, “The secret’s in the sauce.”. He was like a dog with a bone, when it came to Frank’s disappearance.

One damned day, a rusty truck was washed up during a great rain. It turned out to be Frank’s. The law from the next state came after Idgie.

Now believe it or not, I haven’t really told you too much. There is so much more happening that I haven’t revealed. Of course, there is a court case. It is all rather funny.

Now you must realize, I am only telling you the story Ninny is telling to Evelyn Couch. There is so much more to tell. First, that Fried Green Tomatoes is a brilliant & emotionally deep film. Let’s not say it is only for the female sex. I don’t feel it is limited in that way.

For the rest of the story & for Ninny Threadgoode’s [Jessica Tandy] part of the story, you will definitely have to rent, buy or stream the film. It is a great story. Touching & funny, warm & women don’t take no sh*t in it. “Towanda!” The cry of the angry woman who is tired of being mistreated & overlooked by the rudeness of the young & the ill-mannered of the world.

The film is about the injustice & treatment of what society felt were the lesser people in the world. Not because they were lesser but because they were designated to second class citizenship by the white male majority [not really the majority but the rich white male who felt he owned everything & everyone that wasn’t like him]. Not a lot has changed, if you look around.

As I wrote in my post on marriage & relationships of an intimate nature, these connections always have a sad ending, sometimes short & sometimes we live til we are old but we are always going to have to say goodbye. In Mary-Louise Parker’s acting roles, she had the bad luck of her characters not having the longest of life spans. She is a brilliant actor & I have seen all the films she has been in. Fried Green Tomatoes was my introduction to her fine quality of acting.

To bring this treatise on FGT to an end, I leave you with film clips, trailer, photographs & music & even a music video I made of the film from shots in sequential order with the story with a beautiful song playing while you are viewing the results of my experimental creativity. Only just learning how to do the music video process.

I highly recommend this film. For me it is a FIVE STAR FILM. & I make it my #11 Best Films of All Time. When it was first released into theatres I went to two different towns to see it. They are 30+ miles apart & I went at night. The roads were very dark but I NEEDED to see this film again. It was extremely popular when it was released. That is all I can say. Fried Green Tomatoes are delicious & so is this film. Ciao!

fgt buddy carrying idgie after he gets her to come down

fgt buddy went up tree to get young idgie to come down to get dressed for wedding

fgt idgine when little in church for wedding b4 buddy is killed

fgt ruth walking across resevoir hearing buddy telling his story about the ducks & lake freezing

fried green tomatoes buddy ruth & idgie shortly before buddy is killed by trainFried Green Tomatoes Buddy Ruth & Idgie shortly before Buddy is killed by train. This totally devastates Idgie & she withdraws from the world. The only person who can reach her is Ruth.

fried_green_tomatoes waving to buddy on train tracks b4 they know train is coming

MCDFRGR EC009

Fried Green Tomatoes (1/10) Movie CLIP – Buddy’s Accident [1991]

fgt idgie meeting frank bennett b4 he marries ruth

fgt beecharmer two photos with lines re bc

fgt ruth tells idgie shes a bee-charmer

Fried Green Tomatoes (2/10) Movie CLIP – The Spark Back in Marriage

fgt kathy-bates as evelyn wrapped only in cellaphane for husband

FGT idgie w arm over ruths shoulder its 4 surprise bday party for ruth

fried green tomatos

fgt ruth tells idgie shes a bee-charmer

fried-green-tomatoes two marysScene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison on picnic, shortly before Idgie shows her she’s a “bee charmer.” Those are Ruth’s words to Idgie when she goes to the nearest tree loaded with honey & loads of honeybees. Idgie returns with a jar full of honey & beeswax with not a sting on her, bare arms & all.

FGT idgie w arm over ruths shoulder its 4 surprise bday party for ruth

fried green tomatoes party after party

fgt after party sitting on shore with feet in water idgie & ruth

Fried Green Tomatoes (3/10) Movie CLIP – The Best Birthday [1991]

Fried Green Tomatoes before the rescue Ruth & Idgie

Fried Green Tomatoes Idgie goes to visit Ruth after she is married. Ruth is acting strange & is hiding a huge bruise on the side of her face her husband put their. Idgie leaves against her better judgment.

fgt ruth trying to keep idgie from seeing bruise on her face at husbands place

fgt array of idgie ruth frank bennett nasty as can be bruise on ruths face

Scene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison matched up from time of youth & on top, after they have grown & Ruth is supposed to have been a good influence on her. I feel she was & is. She rescues Ruth from her abusive brute of a husband & they are finally able to live together & eventually raise the baby Ruth was pregnant with at the time of the rescue.

fried-green-tomatoes bastard husband throws ruth down stairs while she is pregnant when rescuedFried Green Tomatoes Ruth’s bastard husband won’t let Ruth go without being a pr*ck, so he puts his foot on her back and pushes her down the stairs while she is pregnant.

fried green tomatoes idgie rescue day of ruthFried Green Tomatoes Idgie stands up to Ruth’s husband & tells him if he ever touches her again she would kill him.

fgt idgie to frank bennett if you ever touch her again i'll kill you gif

fried-green-tomatoes the escape with ruthFried Green Tomatoes Idgie brought along her brother & her loyal friend, who also does the best barbeque for the Whistlestop Cafe. They both pose a threat to Ruth’s husband but Idgie’s friend threatens him, which could be dangerous for him because he is black & Ruth’s husband we later find out is a member of the KKK.

Fried Green Tomatoes (4/10) Movie CLIP – Ruth Leaves Frank [1991]

idgie threadgoode & ruth jamison fried green tomatoesScene from “Fried Green Tomatoes” Idgie Threadgoode & Ruth Jamison matched up from time of youth & on top, after they have grown & Ruth is supposed to have been a good influence on her. I feel she was & is. She rescues Ruth from her abusive brute of a husband & they are finally able to live together & eventually raise the baby Ruth was pregnant with at the time of the rescue.

fried green tomatoes after rescue baby born set up whitlestop cafeFried Green Tomatoes Ruth, her baby boy & Idgie set up a life together. They open up the Whistlestop Cafe, which has the best barbeque like no other & all are welcome. No prejudice from them but their patrons aren’t as generous. But then they’re living in the times where everything is rough, but no one objects to their love.

fgt idgie ruth after food fight at cafe disagreement over taste of fgts

Fried Green Tomatoes (5/10) Movie CLIP – Food Fight [1991] HD

fried-green-tomatoes photo array of idgie & ruthFried Green Tomatoes This is an array of the relationship in photos of just how close a relationship Idgie & Ruth have developed over the years they know each other. It is a love relationship like no other. Their generosity with each other is spread out into the community ten fold.


Fried Green Tomatoes (6/10) Movie CLIP – Frank Intrudes on Ruth at Whistlestop

fgt cant look at own vagina evelyn crying as she is telling it to ninny gif“How many of those hormones are you taking.” Ninny asks this of Evelyn when she doesn’t seem to calm down.

Fried Green Tomatoes (7/10) Movie CLIP – Parking Lot Rage [1991]

FGT evelyn going thru change & telling ninny she doesn't know whats wrong w her

Fried Green Tomatoes (9/10) Movie CLIP – Evelyn the Destroyer [1991]

fgt evelyn in gif ramming vwTowanda!!! “Let’s face it girls, I’m older and I have more insurance.” A great retort to some snotty bitches who just f*cked the one too many times and Evelyn Couch had it with all the BS.

FGTs ruth telling idgie she has to leave so her shithead husband wont come back idgie assures her never

fgt night frank bennett met is maker

FGT barbeque big george

fgt big george idgies friend helped her thru buddy's death does best bar-b-q

fried-green-tomatoes-barbeque big george

fried_green_tomatoes_1991_smokey lonesome_returns pic of sipsey & ws grady idgies friend

Fried Green Tomatoes rusty truck dead bastard husband

fgt grady arresting idgie fpr frank bennetts murder she wont give up who really did it

fried green tomatoes idgie on trial for murder of frank bennett

fgt idgie on stand at her trial for murder of frank bennett

Fried Green Tomatoes (8/10) Movie CLIP – Taking the Stand [1991]

fgt after buddy jrs train accident big george rushing him to car to take to hospital

fgt at buddy jrs arms funeral lost in train accident almost killed like idgies bro buddy

fried green tomatoes ruth & idgie hugging

Fried_Green_Tomatoes_at_the_Whistle_Stop_Cafe idgie & ruth hats on

Fried-Green-Tomatoes-1991-kathy-bates evelyn eating only rabbit food

Ninny & Kathy Bates with Birthday FGTs w candles

fried-green-tomatoes kathy & ninny at end wants to bring her home to live

fgt evelyn takes ninny to whistlestop to see the town

Fried green Tomatoes ninny in whistlestop w evelyn after they see honey jar in front of ruths grave

fgt whistlestop cafe window

Fried Green Tomatoes (10/10) Movie CLIP – A Lady Always Knows When to Leave (1991) HD

Idgie and Ruth Love Story Fried Green Tomatoes (FGT)

Fried Green Tomatoes – Very Sad Scene

The Love Story of Idgie & Ruth-Created by Jennifer Kiley

CAST:

Kathy Bates…….Evelyn Couch

Mary Stuart Masterson……..Idgie Threadgoode

Mary-Louise Parker…….Ruth Jamison

           Jessica Tandy…….Ninny Threadgoode

Cicely Tyson…….Sipsey

Chris O’Donnell…….Buddy Threadgoode

Stan Shaw…….Big George

Gailard Sartain…….Ed Couch

Timothy Scott…….Smokey Lonesome

Gary Basaraba…….Grady Kilgore

Lois Smith…….Mama Threadgoode

Jo Harvey Allen…….Women’s Awareness Teacher

Macon McCalman…….Prosecutor Percy

Richard Riehle…….Reverend Scroggins

Raynor Scheine…….Sheriff Curtis Smoote

Nancy Moore Atchison…….Little Idgie Threadgoode

Grayson Fricke…….Buddy Threadgoode Jr.

Haynes Brooke…….Older Julian Threadgoode

Nick Searcy…….Frank Bennett

Fried Green Tomatoes Trailer

FRIED GREEN TOMATOES (1991) – Thomas Newman – Soundtrack

Flowers Song and Poetry

Flowers Song and a Poem
Post Created by Jennifer Kiley
Poem Written by Henry David Thoreau
Created Thursday 29th August 2013
Posted Saturday 31th August 2013
Poetry Out Loud

Dedicated to a Special Friend Who Has Met the Trials of Life Head On

flowers yellow white pinkish with green background of leaves for niamh

Friendship

I think awhile of Love, and while I think,
Love is to me a world,
Sole meat and sweetest drink,
And close connecting link
Tween heaven and earth.

I only know it is, not how or why,
My greatest happiness;
However hard I try,
Not if I were to die,
Can I explain.

I fain would ask my friend how it can be,
But when the time arrives,
Then Love is more lovely
Than anything to me,
And so I’m dumb.

For if the truth were known, Love cannot speak,
But only thinks and does;
Though surely out ’twill leak
Without the help of Greek,
Or any tongue.

A man may love the truth and practise it,
Beauty he may admire,
And goodness not omit,
As much as may befit
To reverence.

But only when these three together meet,
As they always incline,
And make one soul the seat,
And favorite retreat,
Of loveliness;

When under kindred shape, like loves and hates
And a kindred nature,
Proclaim us to be mates,
Exposed to equal fates
Eternally;

And each may other help, and service do,
Drawing Love’s bands more tight,
Service he ne’er shall rue
While one and one make two,
And two are one;

In such case only doth man fully prove
Fully as man can do,
What power there is in Love
His inmost soul to move
Resistlessly.

______

Two sturdy oaks I mean, which side by side,
Withstand the winter’s storm,
And spite of wind and tide,
Grow up the meadow’s pride,
For both are strong

Above they barely touch, but undermined
Down to their deepest source,
Admiring you shall find
Their roots are intertwined
Insep’rably.

Henry David Thoreau

lady butterfly painted green back ground

Easy To Be — Prospecta featuring Lila Goldie

http://russelrayphotos2.com/2013/08/30/top-10-reasons-for-adopting-a-dog-from-second-chance-dog-rescue/ If you want to rescue a dog check this site out.

Happy Birthday My Friend on Sunday 11th August 2013

Happy Birthday My Friend on Sunday 11th August 2013
Created For My Friend On Her Birthday
Love Jennifer
Jk ‘the secret keeper’
Posted On Sunday 11th August 2013
A Writer’s Word

A Rainbow Circle For You, Love Jennifer Happy Birthday

A Rainbow Circle For You, Love Jennifer
Happy Birthday

Gatsby's Rose --- Photographer Shawn MacKenzie

Temporal Distortion

Happy Birthday
I Wish I Could Give You
A Birthday Bear Hug
But I Guess These
Will Have To Do.
xoxoxoxoxoxox, Love, Jennifer

Happy Birthday Fairy Style

Words Streaming With Hidden Meaning
By Jennifer Kiley
Written 2012

Words Stringing Together
Meaning-Intimacy-Attachment-Special
Needing-Wanting-Any Order Will Do
The Eternal Definition:
[place your order] One With Everything [think about it]
Find Peace In Breathing Deeply
Writing-Star Light-Infinite Space
Love-Give-Give To You
Dream-Vision-Woman-Be Yourself
Be One-Love One-Love All-In Peace
Night-Time-Space Travel-All Is One
Be Here Now

© jennifer kiley 2013

A Rose For You by Leo Savitsky   It's Magical & Mystical Just Like You, Love Jk

A Rose For You by Leo Savitsky It’s Magical & Mystical Just Like You, Love Jk

Kindred Spirits
by Jennifer Kiley

Long ago in times past we met
You were known to me as another
And I found in you a stranger
Who I let into my life
You needed my help
It was offered and accepted

Slowly your newness wore off
Revealed was a gentle spirit
With the talent to move creation
You were a pagan, loving nature

We lived in hidden places
Being searched out by danger
We ended protecting the other
Finding closeness in our plight
Guarded by protective spirits

We found solace in one another
Your eyes watched over me
As mine watched over you
Our closeness grew with time
Our journeys had merged
Out of safety and from love
Our souls were joining
In mutual compassion
We became one

© jennifer kiley 2013

Elephant Walking Amongst the Trees

Love is…
by jayarrarr

Love walks a tightrope barefoot over a bottomless pit
engulfed in flames and never looks back.

Love conjures a smile through tears.

Love believes impossible things are possible.

Love is truth, and as such, is sometimes painful.

Love is necessary.

Love is the beauty that shines through cracks
in imperfectly broken things.

Love is hanging your arm out of an open car window
on a hot summer’s day road trip
and pretending to fly.

Love whispers “it gets better”.

Love makes you cry at weddings
and laugh at funerals.

Love pushes you, challenges you,
refuses to let you compromise.

Love never backs down no matter
how hard you fight.

Love is that one song you play over and over
a hundred times and never get tired of.

Love takes charge when you’ve lost all hope,
and makes sure you keep going.

Love thinks you’re amazing
and doesn’t give a fuck
how depressed, angry, ugly,
or stupid you feel.

Love is lightning bugs.

Love is spinning ‘round and ‘round
in circles until you fall down.

Love is the wave that knocks you off
your feet when your back is turned.

Love is stubborn,
and won’t take “no” for an answer.

Love is fearless.

Love is also blind, deaf, and dumb –
and that’s a good thing.

Peter Pan — Happy Birthday

love is…

My Thoughts Are With You Today

Birthday Fairy In Magical Forest

Amazing Visions

European Architecture — Night Vision

Abstract Tree of Black and White by Mark Chapwick

Abstract Tree of Black and White by Mark Chapwick

Love is…
Written by Jennifer Kiley
23rd July 2012

Love is…mysterious.

Love is…unconditional.

Love is…something that can take your breath away.

Love is…expected to be given to a baby when s/he is born.

Love is…spiritually powerful.

Love is…nurturing.

Love is…good.

Love is…a feeling.

Love is…falling into a pleasant state of ecstasy.

Love is…pure.

Love is…passionate.

Love is…spoken in poetic words that have no limit in the ways they are expressed.

Love is…what you feel for a friend one cares about in a gentle way.

Love is…gentle.

Love is…written about by all poets and writers.

Love is…the best part of most plays written by Shakespeare.

Love is…the most misunderstood communication between people.

Love is…an incredibly powerful word.

Love is…a feeling of intense devotion and heartfelt emotion for someone.

Love is…an intense word used when there are emotional feelings for someone special.

Love is…not something that can be easily explained. and you don’t truly know what it is until it happens to you.

Love is…a strong feeling of affection towards another.

Love is…talking on Skype and not wanting to end chat.

Love is…the happiest feeling in the world…it is better to have loved then to never loved at all.

Love is…a force of nature which, like any other natural phenomenon, cannot be civilized, contained or contended…a force which cannot be controlled, avoided, destroyed or escaped.

Love is…an emotion usually described as ‘indescribable’ because you cannot find the right word to match your feeling of being completely and utterly captivated by someone.

Love is…something too complicated to define according to The Encyclopedia Britannica.

Love is…an amazing feeling that almost makes your heart burst with this overwhelming passion for someone.

Love is…passion, romance. a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person.

Love is…a feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person.

Love is…a zero score in tennis.

Love is…what drives you.

Love is…a great victory of human imagination over intelligence.

Love is…a rare psychological malfunction caused by an undetermined amount of interaction with another person.

Love is…someone making your heart smile, and making it sing with such exuberance that it will skip a beat from time to time.

Love is…healing.

Love is…comforting.

Love is…something that has made people insanely, foolishly, abnormally euphoric.

Love is…the ability to send one on an indescribable high, and make everything and anything so much better.

Love is…something that makes the world around you much more colourful, the people, much nicer, the conversations more insightful.

Love is…something with a shocking contrast, brought out by the darker side in us all, where people have murdered for love, stolen, hurt, and abused but I am not sure this really speaks for love but is a distortion and delusional interpretation of what love is and I felt it needed to be mentioned.

Love is…something that has sparked wars, and ended feuds, love has hurt, and love has healed, love has driven humankind to dizzying extremes, only to abruptly bring one back around.

Love is…an incredibly powerful word and emotion.

Love is…painful.

Love is…losing someone you love to the hands of death.

Love is…holding a warm, fluffy, purring kitty in your arms and they look up into your eyes, reflecting back the love you feel for them.

Love is…when you can feel comfortable being around that person you are with, no matter how you look, what you are wearing or if you are naked.

Love is…unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone.

Love is…an unconditional feeling that is felt, simply by being around her.

Love is…the absolute devotion you feel towards someone.

Love is…fierce.

Love is…when you realize you want to be with someone forever.

Love is…when you find something that you cannot live without or ever wish to be without.

Love is…something we think about, sing about, dream about, lose sleep worrying about it.

Love is…something when we don’t have it; we search for it; when we discover it; we don’t know what to do with it; when we have it; we fear losing it.

Love is…a constant source of pleasure and pain, but we can’t predict which it will be from one moment to the next.

Love is…a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.

Love is…to give all of yourself to a person-s-cause and to expect nothing back.

Love is…a mental-physical-spiritual thing beyond human comprehension.

Love is…something that surpasses all understanding.

Love is…patient.

Love is…kind and envies no one.

Love is…never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; never selfish, nor quick to take offense.

Love is…a feeling that delights in the truth.

Love is…something that can face anything.

Love is…limitless in its faith, its hope, and its endurance.

Love is…something that lasts forever.

Love is…saying that you care deeply about another person.

Love is…giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to.

Love is…the desire to blend with their soul.

Love is…something that will make you do anything.

Love is…intense and passionate.

Love is…something that makes everything seem brighter, happier and more wonderful.

Love is…caring deeply about another person.

Love is…when every time you see this person you get butterflies in your stomach.

[this one is extra special for your birthday]
Love is…like being in wonderland without the red queen. Sometimes everything makes sense, other times no one cares.

© jennifer kiley 2013

I Just Called To Say I Love You-Stevie Wonder

hand letting go of golden flecks gif

Seasons of Our Dreams
By Jennifer Kiley
August 2013

Delicate will we prance on softness of grass;
leaves that trees must shed and piles
for the child within to crash upon;
angels in white falling into drops
of flaked, crystallized rain;
return of green from smallest sprout
one moment and blooming shades of gleaming greens
and flowers multiplying colours across the fields;
we travel round the seasons of our dreams
and moments found where love is felt
from tender shades of changes in our heart and soul;
we flow and go along in joy and bliss.

© jennifer kiley 2013

moving water gif

Flamme Abstrait de Couleurs par j. kiley

Roue de la Fortune — Souhait— Les Rêves se Réalisent par j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

happy birthday niamh

candle-flame-gif

To Make You Chuckle. 8-) Jk

To Make You Chuckle. 8-) Jk

Private Writings: Chapter #18 — Mystery Clawed Open

private writings to a psychoanalyst (c) Jk 2013
Private Writings: Chapter #18 — Mystery Clawed Open
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
First Published March 19th 2013
Published Early Tuesday AM
Posted 16th July 2013
WARNING: ADULT LANGUAGE AND CONTENT.
NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.

ALL CHARACTERS ARE FICTITIOUS.
ANYONE RESEMBLING ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD
IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.

Private Writings: Chapter #18 — Mystery Clawed Open

Tuesday, January 29th 2008

Dear Annie,

I have something really honest to confess to you. It is letting you inside my mind. Letting you know the real person. Thoughts were going through my mind; feelings were circulating of confusion shortly after meeting you. They were starting to absorb almost all of me. Rather obsessively. I’m not a dangerous stalker or anything. Just a touch more intense than most people. If I fixate on something and it feels right to me, I have to pursue getting close. It may sound strange but I seek you. That simple. Crazy as I may sound I want you desperately to be my new analyst. We connected to you so quickly. My feelings aren’t cluttered with romantic attraction; nothing sexual intended. Yes, I admit to being attracted to you but it is more a soul connection. There’s a familiarity between us. You must notice it. A feeling we have been together before we meant on October 2nd 2007. It feels spooky but I think that is okay.

Besides the attraction, I feel I could trust you enough to open up, be honest, not hold back what I have trouble dealing with. Lately, I have been becoming more and more withdrawn from the world. My agoraphobia is making me panic at the thought of leaving the house days before I know I have to. Hours before going out, I can barely breath. My body starts to shake. I would really like to talk privately to you. I feel you could help me. It would be an incentive if I knew I would be seeing you.

Time is coming close to my friend Kristina leaving the group and the state. You do remember she mentioned it at a group session a few weeks ago. She is the only person I feel safe with in that room besides you. I use to feel close, sort of, to Robin, but she has gotten rather negative whenever we talk, so I don’t like talking to her outside of group. We use to talk on the phone for way too long. I would shake after I got off the phone with her. It is the same way I felt with my sister a number of years ago. The last time I spoke to my sister, she made an excuse for my oldest brother. He started sexually abusing me when I was 10. He gave me a pornographic book and told me to read it. The funny touching started just before that. The book was disturbing. I under exaggerate. It was sexually graphic and violent. The parts that I read turned into snuff pornography. I didn’t understand it then but now I realize he was trying to intimidate me and I think he somehow thought the sick, perverted descriptions would somehow do something to me. If he even thought that shit would arouse me, he was nuts. It sickened me and freaked me out. To this day it still disturbs me. I never told anyone what was written in that book. Even writing to you privately and knowing I am not giving these letters to you, I can’t even bring myself to write down the words to describe the sickness on those pages. Just imagine the worst and then think even more disgusting.

Losing Kristina is going to be hard for me. I know once she leaves, even though we promise to write. It will eventually stop. Or slow down until we forget each other. What it feels like to connect. Now we talk practically every day on the phone. It is sometimes brief or can last longer. She just listens to me and doesn’t judge me. It is good to have a friend like her. Robin is so different. I dread when she calls. When I get a voice-mail it makes my mind protect me by forgetting to call her back. When I write an email saying I will call, I often forget. Why I am not getting the message my brain is sending, I do not know.

I think when Kristina leaves we should try texting and maybe through IM we could chat online. I heard of this new thing called Skype. You can actually see people while you talk or you can just talk or chat by writing. The best part of it is you are in the same time together. Kristina said she would try all these things. She isn’t really that familiar with the computer but I think she will learn. With practice it should become easier for her.

Before I end this letter, you know I like to tell you another teaser about our film Brief Sacrifice with the character Carter McLeod. I got to see some outtakes. It is looking sensational and Natalie Stephens is so strikingly beautiful. I have great fantasies about her. It would make you blush if I told you what they were.

The next phase after Carter buys the briefcase at the estate sale and brings it home. She tries to open it. Jasper, Jax and James, her huge Savannah cats all want to participate in the project. They are all over her and the coffee table while Carter tries first to jiggle the fastener. It won’t give. Then an idea comes to her. She starts feeling around the surface of the briefcase. It is rather smooth leather but well worn. Her hands move carefully, being sure to caress every inch of the surface. Her cats, especially James loved this process. He wanted to help by reaching out his right paw and placing it on the side of the briefcase. He rests it there, in that exact spot and refuses to move it. Well, Carter finds this rather curious. Is her cat being psychic or just wants her attention. Carter touches his right paw and tries to lift it. James won’t let her.

“What is it James? What has you so confounded?”

James starts to rub and dig with his paw. Carter watches him and thinks of Lassie. She loved Elizabeth Taylor as a child actress. Those movies were a thrill to her. “What is it young man? James please tell me what it is you are getting at.”

James is persistent about the spot his paw is now resting on firmly and determined not to move it.

“If you would just move your paw, I could check under it to see what you have discovered.” James obliges and moves his paw just a bit to one side of the spot. Now Jasper and Jax are becoming more curious. What did their brother figure out. Carter feels the spot. Her fingers feel carefully and how strange but she feels a slight difference in the texture of the leather either side of the spot when James had rested his paw. If she wasn’t mistaken she had felt a slight scar running across the leather of the briefcase. Like someone had carefully sealed a patch of extremely fine, thin leather. It occurred to her it was over something. A hole maybe, but it didn’t feel that way. There was something being hidden. Carter was sure of it. But how could she remove or open up the scar and pull back the leather patch?

“Well, boys, what should your Mum do next? Any suggestions.” All three of them pounced on the briefcase and began to scratch at the spot James had discovered. Carter let them continue. She was concerned they might mark up the briefcase but she was more interested in what was under that flap of leather, less about any damage her babies might do. It looked like they were making progress. A slight bit of leather started to peel away from the surface of the case. Jasper was having the most success. Jax was pulling back to watch his brother and James was rubbing up against his Mum, feeling rather satisfied he had pleased her with his brilliance at detection.

The patch was giving way. More was starting to peel back. Carter joined in with Jasper. Between the two of them they had almost pulled back the patch enough to get a glimpse of what was underneath. It looked like a combination of letters and numbers. The surface was barely visible but enough to see those numbers and letters were important to know. They were determined even if they had to work all night to finish uncovering them.

Morning had finally arrived. They had succeeded at their task in uncovering what appeared to be a combination of sorts. There were letters and numbers on the surface from under the patch. They were all mixed up together but not in any sensible order that Carter could see.

And that is it for today’s letter. Next time, we will think about whether we will reveal what the letters and numbers are. Do they spell out a word or words and are the numbers in some way a combination to a lock. If a lock, to what? Is curiosity sufficiently peaked?

This is fun, Annie, teasing you this way. I know you are not getting to appreciate my tale so far but maybe I will start to send my letters to you once we have established a working relationship.

It feels so near. Dr. George is losing it rather quickly. His brain is starting to unravel to a breaking point where has begun not making much sense for the past few weeks. The pressure is showing. How could he not know he is fucking up. I see a bad future for him. Lots of trouble coming his way. In what form, my crystal ball hasn’t revealed that to me yet.

Lastly, I just have one more thought about Kristina moving away. It just feels like whenever I get close to anyone, they always seem to disappear. It is becoming more than a regular occurrence not to mean something Karmically. What is all this loss supposed to teach me? What I learn is life is painful and getting close to people is dangerous for them and me. Life altering events surround getting to know anyone close enough to care, to feel attached and to love them. I wouldn’t stop doing it no matter the pain. If I find myself attracted to someone in whatever way it occurs, I know that I cannot turn away. When the feelings kicks in, the forces of nature become too irresistible. I feel a rush from the closeness. An impossible state of being to explain, really. Just feels incredibly intense.

My lesson for the day is to love when given the gift of a person entering your life, particularly if they are as wonderful as the people I have been given in my life. I would not give one of them up no matter the pain my heart feels and the tears that have been shed when losing them. My grandmother and Tosh were the most painful to lose. I feel them with me when I need them. I know they protect me. They guard me against the darkness, even when its haunting is severe and overwhelming. We will talk to you about the darkness some other time.

Remember what I share with you, Annie. I believe we are going to get to know you. It is in the Tarot cards, and the world placed us together. How can anyone resist the Fates. When they use their powers to shift the direction of the winds in order that we meet. In the exact moment, the exact place, we both entered on the same day, time and place. One does not fight a force so powerful. It is meant to be. So, now, we must act accordingly.

That is all I have for today. It seems to be enough for now.

Fondly,
Madison

ATTENTION ANNIE: At this moment I am not trying to be a coward, but I feel if I hold back now or never send this to you, I am freeing myself up to write whatever without censorship. On some future date, if trust grows, I will release my letters to you. What I write in honesty, I will keep confidential. On my honour, no others shall see these pages.
Regards,
Madison Taylor

Fantasy Sets for Film: BRIEF SACRIFICE with Lead Character CARTER MCLEOD. {played by BAFTA Nominated Actor NATALIE STEPHENS} Savannah Cats are Carter’s. Screenplay: MADISON TAYLOR. Director: SCOTTIE ANDREWS

brief sacrifice mansion-film set  723x458

film Brief Sacrifice mansion where main character Carter McLeod lives with her three Savannah cats, Jasper, Jax and James.

brief sacrifice library living room fireplace  970x546

film Brief Sacrifice library living room fireplace in mansion where Carter McLeod lives with her three Savannah cats, Jasper, Jax and James.

James-a neutered male Savannah Cat lounging on sofa  645x499

film Brief Sacrifice James is one of three neutered male Savannah Cats, Carter McLeod has as her companions. He is enjoying a good lounge on his favorite sofa.

Peter Illyich Tchaikovsky Francesca da Rimini, Op. 32 (Fedoseyev) 25 min.

Somewhere In Time – John Barry

rain in garden gif

Sounds of the Hunger
Written by Madison Taylor
January 28th 2008

Sounds of “the hunger”
— a sensual response.
Shadow & soul bring immortality
as they both sing.
And in rhyming harmonies
their story they bring.
Alive with words of tales
from bells that ring.
Of truth unfolding out
from the Green of Spring.
A new rebirth is offered
and received in welcoming arms.
Away — fly away
following the offering
of many things.
Off you go
upon the strength
of a passing butterflies
gliding wings.

© madison taylor 2008

candle flame flickering gif

Lakme (excerpt) Delibe

le chateau de rocher by j. kiley (c) jennifer kiley 2013   824x552

Le Chateau de Rocher is the home of Madison and Scottie & their three cats Mikey Toker & Patrick

english garden off the back marble patio  972x732

English garden off the back marble patio

bedroom perfect high windows lightScottie & Madison’s bedroom. Spacious & grand. The bed is usually shared
with their three cats Mikey, Toker & Patrick.

QUOTATIONS from Private Writings

“A Dream
The beginning always starts out with a dream.
It is all a dream
And we are all players
In our own nightmares”
— Madison Taylor

“For that fine madness still he did retain,
Which rightly should possess a poet’s brain.”
~Michael Drayton~
(1563-1631)

“A therapeutic relationship is often more psycho-emotionally intimate than a marriage, or a romantic attachment. I know things about my patients that they would never dream of revealing to their spouses or families. Why is that? One word — trust. If you do not have a connection with a therapist, you cannot trust them. If you do not have trust, you will not expose yourself, and if you do not expose your innermost being, what good is the therapy?” — Anonymous

play is not just play meryl streep

Who Is Sharmishtha Basu?

the secret keeper:

a divider for posts no 2A wonderful interview for a beautifully spirited young woman who I have been lucky to get to know little by little. I would like to share her with those who follow me. You will be the lucky ones if you read about her and check her writings out. She has taught me a great deal. It is so delightful to read more about Sharmishtha Basu. She has been an inspiration for me for some time. I have been fortunate to get to write to her and she in return. I have learned a great deal from her and from reading her writing. Trisha, it is great to see you doing this interview. A whole world opens up about you. Some of which I knew but your life and world and dreams are remarkable. I, too, want to visit Paris, France. But my other place is Tuscany in the country. I love your writing. And being prolific is something we share but I think you far surpass me. I confine myself to one blog now. There is so much to write. Your goals are commendable. Thank you, Johnny Ojanpera for featuring Trisha on your blog. We all care about her and love her open heart. She is so giving and generous. Her spirit brightens up my nights. That is when I am online. We share the night. It is either the quiet or that everyone else is asleep, the muse can really open herself to your reception. This was a great interview. Jk a divider for posts no 2

Originally posted on johnny ojanpera:

Image

I have been granted an interview with one of my favorite writers. Her name is Sharmishtha Basu. She is a rare talent, and able to capture her environment and put it into words. So few people are capable of this feat. Most of a writer’s time is spent reading and analyzing other writer’s work, so when I come across someone with this natural ability to draw me into their world, I can’t help but share it with others. Sharmishtha is one of those writers; a true writer marked by her ability to produce words of substance at a rate that most of us envy. These are her words.

1. Where are you from?

I am from India, at present I live in Kolkata (Calcutta); one of the most famous places in India. I believe Mother Teresa lived here, so did one too many legends of India like Tagore. Kolkata of…

View original 960 more words

DID YOU KNOW?

DID YOU KNOW
CREATED BY JENNIFER KILEY
ILLUSTRATED BY j. kiley
WRITTEN BY JENNIFER KILEY
CREATED MAY 25TH 2013
POSTED MAY 25TH 2013
silver divider between paragraphsgarden did you knowgarden purple flowerssilver divider between paragraphs

did you know you are the best by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013  802x1121

did you know you are the best by j. kiley © jennifer kiley 2013

silver divider between paragraphsyou must waitgarden peaks of greensilver divider between paragraphs

Carly Simon — Nobody Does It Bettersilver divider between paragraphsQUOTATIONS on CLOSENESS/MISSING:

“You have someone in your life whom you honor and revere so much that every hurt on them is inflicted on you as well. And the closer they are to you, the greater the pain.” ― Masashi Kishimoto

“When someone is close by, you just know it.” ― James Dashner, The Scorch Trials

“I tried to put things in perspective but sometimes you’re just too close to it.” ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men

“Closeness means you get hurt; closeness means letting down your defenses and letting people see the tender skin under the carapace.” ― Cathy Kelly, Never Too Late

“You can decorate absence however you want- but your still gonna feel what’s missing.” ― Siobhan Vivian, Same Difference

“They say when you are missing someone that they are probably feeling the same, but I don’t think it’s possible for you to miss me as much as I’m missing you right now” ― Edna St. Vincent Millay

“He was so close to her then that they owned every molecule of air in the tiny room and the air grew heavy with their desire and worked to move them together.” ― Ann Patchett, Bel Canto

“When you miss someone….it’s weird…your body doesn’t function normally..as it should. Because I miss you, and my heart…it’s not steady…my soul it sings numb. Fingers are cold…like you…your soul.” ― Coco J. Gingersilver divider between paragraphs

The Sessions

The Sessions
Film Review
Written By Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Created May 19th 2013
Posted May 19th 2013

poster for the film 'the sessions'  636x938

 ‘The Sessions’ leading roles: Helen Hunt – William H. Macy – John Hawkes

This all started with the Oscar-winning film, “Breathing Lessons,” about the life of Mark O’Brien. He contracted polio in childhood and lived life in an Iron Lung which enabled him to breath. His story in this film inspired the new movie “The Sessions,” starring William H. Macy, Helen Hunt, and John Hawkes. Mark O’Brien felt: “The two mythologies about disabled people break down to one: we can’t do anything, or two: we can do everything. But the truth is, we’re just human.” O’Brien was a frequently published journalist and poet, and he contributed to National Public Radio. He fought against illness, bureaucracy and society’s conflicting perceptions of disability for his right to lead an independent life.

william h. macy as father brendan john hawkes as mark obrien confessing 1920x1080

William H. Macy as Father Brendan John Hawkes as Mark O’ Brien confessing

william h. macy as father brendan – john hawkes as mark o’brien confessing[/caption]

The film, “The Sessions” is a powerful and emotional film. You’re rooting for him as he moves through the issues of his life that challenge every moment. But it shows that he is human and has the same needs and wants that most humans want from their life. It breaks down your emotions and all the way through shows an understanding and honest and intimate portrayal of a complex, intelligent, beautiful and interesting person, who happens to be disabled.

There is a poem, that Mark O’Brien wrote, that is used in the film that speaks to the soul. The words reflect his inner feelings that will melt your heart. In the poem they used , it is so descriptive of what he feels inside, and how he would express those feelings. Throughout the film, he has long, intense conversations with a new priest to his parish and within the film it is made obvious his extremely strong belief in God.

william h. macy in "the sessions"  658x370 William H. Macy in “The Sessions”

Which at times made him question every decision he would make in order to satisfy his goals in life. One in particular, he has been feeling the strongest need to accomplish. The same kind of goal most humans want to achieve and satisfy. That goal has to do with being loved and in the expression of that love, to be able to be intimate with another human being. The Sessions is a provocative film which helps to define life. Its questions and its meaning.

The Sessions Movie CLIP – Poem (2012) – Helen Hunt Movie HD

love poem by mark o'brien  poster by j. kiley  © jennifer kiley 2013   827x824

The biggest question on Mark’s mind is whether he will live his entire life never knowing the sexual intimacy with another person. In his case, the love and sexual satisfaction of sharing a complete sexual experience with a women. This is where the film takes on the most caring elements ever. The performances of Helen Hunt and John Hawkes are so believable and intimate. You weren’t sure what to root for. Helen’s role is that of playing a sexual surrogate. She has a family. It is an endearing profession that she has chosen. Quite confounding and compassionate maintaining a personal life and a professional life where it is inhuman not to have natural human feelings surface, both physical and emotional, as well as spiritual.

If you want to see a film, where the characters are real, and you feel their reality as they are living it out on the screen, this is the film for you. You need to check any moralistic judgement at the door. That wasn’t a problem for me. I felt what was happening was essential, human, caring, loving and a necessary sharing for all those directly involved.

THE SESSIONS Trailer 2012 Movie – Official [HD]

I don’t want to give any of the film away but it is brilliant, intimate, humorous, makes you want to cry and smile all at once. You really aren’t sure who or what you should be encouraging. You feel their feelings so tenderly. I have now seen this film, The Sessions, and took from it a feeling that one can be healed. I am not talking about his polio, but his inner being. I will not say what happens but I will recommend this film. As Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel use to say: “Two Thumbs Up.” Get this film. Buy It. Rent It. Stream It. Watch It On Demand. If you haven’t seen it in a theatre or if you have, see it again. Sometime in the near future it will become part of our collection. It is a film that has great value in seeing it more than once.

I will add it teaches you something about your own body, that if you didn’t already know, it deserves to be honoured and loved as part of your whole self. How to reach that union is something that I think many of us would like to do that have not really experienced that complete connection. I’m not saying that in the case of this film, what happens, but it does teach as well as gives the viewer a magnificent experience of looking inward. It is delightful that you get to share the joys, discussions, fears, anxieties, hopes, rejection, being ignored, having no power, being human and frail and tough and fighting to survive every minute of your life.

helen hunt as cheryl a sexual surrogate in bed with mark in 'the sessions'  800x514

Helen Hunt as Cheryl a sexual surrogate in bed with Mark

 

Whether we need to be in an Iron Lung most of our lives or have lived a life that has been traumatized through other means or to have lived whatever life you have lived, this film will show you the way to what being equal is all about and that having a disability does not take away your being human and having human needs, wants, desires, beliefs, dreams, imagination, satisfaction, creativity and so much more. We are in this all together. We need to support one another. If one thing, Mark O’Brien, may have been put in an Iron Lung when he was a child, but he kept on living as if that Iron Lung was just something he had to accept. His life continued with all a humans’ hopes and dreams.

After watching this film, I would say he attained so much more than most people would expect. If for just sheer curiosity, to see a film that has the issue of sex right out there on the table, that alone should peek your cat like instinctual drive, this film is AMAZING. It is more than it could be and nothing less than it should be.

helen hunt and john hawkes in 'the sessions' 642x241

Helen Hunt and John Hawkes in ‘The Sessions’

I intend to see it again some time soon. I do need to still make it through the rest of the Oscar/BAFTA nominated films. I saw “Hitchcock.” The one surrounding the making of the film “PSYCHO,” that kept people out of the shower for quite some time. I was way too young when I first saw it at the neighbor’s house across the street. The girl who lived there walked me to the middle of the street. We lived in a cul de sac, so there wasn’t any traffic.

We stood there, afraid to move from that spot. Until we decided we would count to three and go to our own houses. One. Two. Three. We tore to the kitchen doors of our houses, screaming the entire way and rushed into our houses slamming the doors behind us. Both having been too young and terrified to watch such a film as PSYCHO, alone, in the dark, watching bloody murders being committed. I still cannot watch that damned shower scene or pretty much most of the rest of the film after Janet Leigh arrives at the Bates Motel.

Helen Mirren played the role of Alfred Hitchcock’s wife opposite, the unidentifiable, Anthony Hopkins. She deserved the Oscar and I do believe she won the BAFTA, will have to check. But she played the second in command, who without her I firmly believe that Hitchcock’s genius would not have been held so firmly. She deserved credit in the film CREDITS but now everyone knows who have seen HITCHCOCK and THE GIRL. “The Girl” was made for HBO. The very British, Sienna Miller played Tippi Hedren, the actress who starred in Hitchcock’s “The Birds” and “Marnie.” Read my post on Tippi Hedren to find out more on that subject and the post, “Alfred Hitchcock: Man or Beast.” Do feel free to use the search box to locate anything related to all and anything located on “the secret keeper.”

volcano and lightning  870x512

So, sorry, got a bit distracted. It made me realize I need to spend more time reviewing films on “the secret keeper.”

Anyway, back on track, do see THE SESSIONS. You will never know what you have missed if you do not. And you would have missed TOO MUCH. 5 * * * * * Review by Jennifer Kiley

Maksim Mrvica – Tonci Huljic: Passionata

QUOTATIONS on INTIMACY/TOUCHING/FEELINGS:

“Fall off the edge of the earth and crash into euphoria.” — Unknown

“I mean you can leave it at love and attraction, or can you can make it complicated, like most people do” — “The Sessions”

“The meaning of love. Love is a journey.” — “The Sessions”

“I never expected it. Nor did she. But that’s often how things turn out” — “The Sessions”

“Let me touch you with my words
For my hands lie limp as empty gloves
Let my words stroke your hair
Slide down your back and tickle your belly
For my hands, light and free-flying as bricks
Ignore my wishes and stubbornly refuse to carry out my quietest desires.
Let my words enter your mind, bearing torches
Admit them willingly into your being
So they may caress you gently within.”
— “The Sessions” by Mark O’Brien

“Sex makes everything complicated. As much as people want to believe sex can be carefree and casual, someone always gets attached. It’s inevitable.” — unknown

Light and Cloud-Shadows

Light and Cloud-Shadows
“In Truth There Is Love”
A Special Message
by Jennifer Kiley
from: Letters To A Young Poet
Excerpt: from Letter #8
Rainer Maria Rilke
Post Created by jk the secret keeper
Created 05.15/16.13
Posted May 16th 2013
silver divider between paragraphs

in truth there is love   by amhein, elvira  659x665

in truth there is love by amhein, elvira

silver divider between paragraphs
light and cloud-shadows by j. kiley  825x2387

light and cloud-shadows by j. kiley

silver divider between paragraphs
daumesnil lake paris france     660x780

daumesnil lake paris france

silver divider between paragraphs

Philip Wesley — Light and Shadowsilver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on GROWTH:

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ― Anaïs Nin

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” ― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

“We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.”
― Anaïs Nin

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” ― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”
― C. JoyBell C.

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” ― John Keats, Letters of John Keats

“Often, it’s not about becoming a new person, but becoming the person you were meant to be, and already are, but don’t know how to be.”
― Heath L. Buckmaster, Box of Hair: A Fairy Tale

“Pain is a pesky part of being human, I’ve learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can’t be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closest thing that will give us that wind against our faces.” ― C. JoyBell C. silver divider between paragraphs

Reflections of Freedom

Reflections of Freedom
By Jennifer Kiley
Illustrated by j. kiley
Written 5.09.13
Created May 10th 2013
Posted May 11th 2013
silver divider between paragraphs1000 yr old Tunnel of Time  --- YewTree Walessilver divider between paragraphs
Reflections of Freedom
By Jennifer Kiley
5.10.13

Reflections,
Clouds of darkness block my vision.
Remembrance of wilder moments come to mind.
Being told no, pushed the rebelliousness of my true nature.
Running away nullified permission,
When done in the passionate way I felt,
Carried me beyond their threat.
I dismissed them from my mind,
As though they never existed..
The tears were flowing as I ran
To escape was necessary,
It was blaring loudly in my head
Run, let your bare feet carry you over the fences,
Across the open fields, past the horses,
Enjoying the sour fruits of the apple trees,
Along the stone fences where they grew,
But were not high enough to keep me out,
As I flew over them as though I were a gazelle.

My friend eventually would find his moment for escape.
We would then meet in the woods to plan that day’s adventure.
Our parents couldn’t keep us apart.
The magnetic pull to be together,
Was stronger than their punishment,
To keep us bound, even though mine was severe,
We rejected their threats.
We needed to be comrades together in our escape,
Pretending in our minds we were searching the woods,
Feeling we would discover that bag of hidden treasure,
Left behind by someone running from the mob.
Being rich enough, we could really run away for good,
Beyond the limits where our parents would ever find us.
We would disappear forever,
Into Wonderland or Neverland,
Whichever one could find us.
No one could touch us again,
Far beyond them we would be,
Together friends forever,
Who dared defy authorities blank and powerless voices.

Winning and free at long last,
Never to be hurt again,
By any one of them.
No more pain.
No more abuse.
Just the love and support of our friendship,
Forever and ever more.

© jennifer kiley 2013
silver divider between paragraphs

close to neverland & the bluefairy  693x1040

close to neverland & the bluefairy

silver divider between paragraphs

New Day — Philip Wesleysilver divider between paragraphs

a secret entrance way behind the waterfalls. first, one needs to find this location. 450x632

a secret entrance way behind the waterfalls. first, one needs to find this location.

silver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on ESCAPE/RUNNING AWAY

“I do know this. It’s the things we run from that hurt us the most.” –Brad Sturdevant” ― Norma Johnston

“If you want to disappear, Emily, you can do it most anywhere.” ― Barbara Delinsky, Escape

“Sometimes I wish I was in the movies…Not to be famous or nothing. I just wish I was made of light. Then nobody’d know me except for what they saw up on that screen. I’d just be light up on the silver screen…” ― Alan Heathcock, Volt

“Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape. ” ― William S. Burroughs

“Besides the alternate universe offered by a book, the quiet space of “the woods” was my favorite place to go…I was an escapist at heart . . . that I preferred imaginary worlds to the real one. It’s true that I’ve always been able to yank myself out of this world and plunge myself into another.” ― Amy Plum, Die for Me

“Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose, or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.” ― Graham Greene, Ways Of Escape

“No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality.” ― Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House

“But if these years have taught me anything it is this: you can never run away. Not ever. The only way out is in.” ― Junot Díaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

“Talking won’t change it. But sometimes it was what she wanted most, to tell someone; often, though, she just wanted to escape those horrid feelings, to escape herself, so there was no pain, no fear, no ugliness.” ― Melissa Marr, Ink Exchange

“I choose to write because it’s perfect for me. It’s an escape, a place I can go to hide. It’s a friend, when I feel out casted from everyone else. It’s a journal, when the only story I can tell is my own. It’s a book, when I need to be somewhere else. It’s control, when I feel so out of control. It’s healing, when everything seems pretty messed up. And it’s fun, when life is just flat-out boring.” ― Alysha Speer

“I spent the rest of the day in someone else’s story. The rare moments that I put the book down, my own pain returned in burning stabs.” ― Amy Plum, Die for Mesilver divider between paragraphs
Related Article: Artistic License The Anatomy of a Cover

the anatomy of a cover - cover - artist masloski carmen 3800x3500

The Anatomy of a Cover – artist Masloski Carmen – author: Artistic License by Emerian Rich

silver divider between paragraphs

The Secret Keeper Opened Up Two Years Ago

The Secret Keeper Opened Up Two Years Ago
WordPress Sent Me A Notification Moments Ago
Written by Jennifer Kiley
Created & Posted 05.06.13

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself
Was Posted On May 6th 2011

moon watching over all --- artist unknown 5.6.13 it was two years ago today

moon watching over all — artist unknown 5.6.13 it was two years ago today

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself
by jen kiley “the secret keeper”
Posted May 6th 2011

This is an excerpt from a manuscript that I started writing while I was seeing M. who I felt was the best psychotherapist I ever worked with. She is my inspiration and muse. The stages that it is in now are more like a patchwork quilt of writings from notebooks and poems and letters and emails and role playing screenplays that I have written and continue to write everyday. I choose this blog site as a place where I can be open and honest with my thoughts and feelings and be the real person that I am in all the multiple facets of my psyche. I am hoping I will be able to post open and honest writings that help me develop and release what has and is happening in my life. Truth is what I am seeking and the revealing of secrets and recalling of memories are only some of what I want to express here on this blog. Hopefully, it will not all be serious. My new therapist wants me to laugh more and encourages me to watch shows and films that do just that, make me laugh. Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory are the best shows at creating that overwhelming feeling in me to feel hysterically silly and to laugh so hard I can barely catch my breath. I leave you to read what I am sharing. Be kind. I am new to this kind of truthful exposure.

9.20.10 – 2:15 am – monday

Reality…love…animals first…people…therapist before other people but S.O… my bird… my main kitties…fur…petting…loving…trusting…wanting love…wanting attention… petting…my bird sharing my meals…nothing better than that…sharing my juice… climbing all over me…getting up on my hand…sitting and resting on my shoulders or stomach for hours…nothing like it…sleeping with me while I write or work on the computer…hanging out together…my little buddy…my bird…my beautiful multi-colored protector…the most wonderful creature in the whole world…I feel that way about her …and I feel special ways about my special kitties too…snuggling with them…sleeping with them at night or when they sleep in my lap or draped over my arms in my chair …I love the feeling…I live for the moments…I live for those moments when M. smiles at me and tells me I am a good person and that I did good… when we looked into each others eyes when she was trying to get me to reach the child inside me…we both tried to get me there but it is a long distance inside to that place…

<3 Love <3

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself
But if your love and must needs have desires,
Let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook
That sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
And give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer
For the beloved in your heart
And a song of praise upon your lips.
~ by Kahlil Gibran ~

Mozart – Lacrimosa

the 9th – the day I found out that M. was leaving, no longer to be my therapist. I found out later during our last session we would not be able to have any contact at all with each other for two years.

I dedicate the first post on “all is one” to M. (It didn’t take me long to change her name to “the secret keeper” and she is all mine to do with what I feel she needs to do.) She taught me that we are all connected no matter where we are in our lives. She is gone now – left abruptly from my life. It has caused me a great deal of pain and continues to do so. I love this woman more than can ever be expressed in words. Even Kahlil Gibran only comes slightly close to how I feel. We did some intense work together unearthing some of the memories of the abuse from my childhood and we tried to confront the issues that I am going through today. I am now seeing a new therapist that M. chose for me. She is quite good but I miss M. terribly and my psychological issues are only compounded by the loss of her in my life and in our therapeutic relationship. I stay connected to her through my writing. She continues to be my inspiration and my muse and I write to her in my notebooks to enter into my manuscript everyday and every night. She is there with me in those moments. It was because of her that I returned to my writing and she also brought me back to my roots in meditation. When she left I pulled back from meditating and certain music because it strongly reminded me of her and the level of pain and depression and suicidal thoughts I had were too difficult to experience in all of their intensity. She abandoned me. I miss her hugs; her voice; the way her eyes looked into mine; her gentleness; her understanding; her peacefulness and calmness and most of all her love. She is connected to my soul. I will love her always and forever.

This is just the beginning of writing here. If someone passes through and should happen to read any of what I have written I will tell you that there will be more and the depth I intend to fathom shall hopefully be expressive, thoughtful and revealing in honesty.

silver divider between paragraphs
candle flame flickering gif

I add to what I wrote over two years ago, that I feel that I have followed the path that I stated back then and try to bring honesty and feelings to what is post on “the secret keeper.” I, also, try to have fun when there is a need for that. There is always a need to laugh and to cry. The first is laughing and I do that as often as possible. The second, crying, I still haven’t found the door that allows me to open it and the tears to be released. Only when something traumatizing occurs do I lose control of what holds back the tears. The Shadow Mother, the name I give my birth mother who is gone now, is the one who put my child in that prison many years ago when I was a defenseless child. I couldn’t fight her. Instead I would apologize to her and beg her forgiveness for punishing me. She forced that child to go to the deepest darkest dungeon inside my unconscious where there is no light for her to find her way out.

Those who have experienced or are experiencing brutality, remember and remind yourself that you didn’t do anything to deserve this kind of horrendous treatment. You need healing with the right person or people. I have been fortunate to have met different people in my life that have tried to help me. I feel, though, that I am very close to people in my life who are giving me a great deal of help with their love and support. It helps when you are surrounded by love and understanding. Love is so very important in everyone’s life. I feel that in my life now.

Writing “the secret keeper” has expanded my world and I feel so lucky to have met the people who I found through this world. One could say it is a very magical and mystical world where the unknown and impossible is knowable and possible.

I wondered why my muse wanted to watch movie trailers. She was stalling me until the announcement came through from WordPress, otherwise, I would never have realized the two year anniversary. I suppose I should send out a thank-you to “M” for leading me into the world of blogging. Honestly, I had another blog that I did for a short time. It was the oddest thing. I found myself on WordPress. I do not even remember why and the next thing I knew I had signed up to write a blog. My reaction: “I DID WHAT?” I was wondering what was I thinking about when I did that. I don’t know anything about writing a blog. I let it sit. Then one day I started to write. I wasn’t really myself when I was doing that blog so I gradually diminished its place in my life and that is when I realized I needed to create what eventually became “the secret keeper” but once was called “all is one” — that was named that for my meditative self but not who really needed this blog to be hers. I needed the healer and the to be healed to be what this blog was for and about. “the secret keeper” is for those who have secrets they need to reveal or for those who need a place to open up and have their secrets kept just that “secret.” Some secrets need to be shouted out loud and others need to be shared in a quiet way. The “evil” doers need to be exposed, those in pain need to know they are not alone.

I want to be able to write about any content that needs to be discussed. Hopefully, I have been doing that over the past two years, more being in the last year plus several months. I have made a commitment to myself to post something everyday. So far I have been doing that for awhile now. Doing a post a day has been good for me. It keeps my mind focused and for those who follow me and that I follow, it has been an experience to keep connected with all of you.

I keep growing and learning something all the time. One, that there is not enough time in one day for everything, but you try to fit it all in but find it exhausting and close to impossible but I am not saying it isn’t attempted. We are still learning about that one.

Did my muse or I find anything interesting in the movie trailers? Well, there is a movie with Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton and Susan Sarandon are in that is out now. The Big Wedding and I remember seeing Tom Cruise in one that is rather spooky and takes place in the future. No humans left on Earth as far as I can tell. Oblivion. Then some scary, creepy crap in between. The devil wants a baby. Probably Zombies. I wasn’t playing close attention. In fact, think I was eating cereal at the time. Put “The Big Wedding” trailer on again and it looks funny. Well, the trailer makes me laugh. Oh, the next trailer I do remember now. The movie titled: MUD has feeling of STAND BY ME but more law involved. Stars Matthew McConaughey & Reese Witherspoon and two great kid actors. Roku has some of the wildest choices of channels.

Thank you all for following and hope you find something here that you want to read, listen to, like, or have a comment you’d like to make, or just follow in your own quiet way. Anyway that you like, you are welcome. by Jennifer Kiley j.kiley jk the secret keeper jk the SK
silver divider between paragraphs

first star on the right --- abstract digital art

first star on the right — abstract digital art


silver divider between paragraphs

Metallica — Nothing Else Matters
(One of Several Videos I Posted In My First Month as “the secret keeper” Two Years Ago)
silver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on PAST:

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

“You realize that our mistrust of the future makes it hard to give up the past.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor

“The past is never where you think you left it.” ― Katherine Anne Porter

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” ― Mother Teresa

“When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

“It’s being here now that’s important. There’s no past and there’s no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can’t relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don’t know if there is one.” ― George Harrison
silver divider between paragraphs