Tag Archives: suicide

Genius or Madness?

Genius or Madness?
“Up/Down” Bipolar Disorder Documentary
Post Created by Jk the SK
Illustrated by j. kiley
Created May 12th 2013
Posted May 13th 2013

Original Transcript
6 November 2012
Genius or Madness?
Professor Glenn Wilson

“Great wits are sure to madness near allied, and thin partitions do their bounds divide” (John Dryden, 1681).
“There is no great genius without a tincture of madness” (Seneca, 1st Century A.D.).silver divider between paragraphs

dali  spider of the evening 1024x768

dali spider of the evening

silver divider between paragraphsMany great artists and scientists appear to have gone slightly mad following their lofty achievements. Isaac Newton was arguably the greatest physicist of all time, introducing the concept of gravity and making major advances in optics, mechanics and mathematics. He was also intensely suspicious and distrustful of others and in later life dabbled in alchemy and sought hidden messages in the Bible. Of course, alchemy was not thought a mad pursuit in Newton’s day and he could have been afflicted with mercury poisoning as a result of his experiments.silver divider between paragraphs
dali   the disintegration of the persistance of memory  1030x800

dali the disintegration of the persistance of memory

silver divider between paragraphsBeethoven and Van Gogh are also said to have gone progressively mad, though the reasons are equally debatable. Beethoven’s mania may have been due to alcoholism, syphilis, or lead poisoning (apart from his profound deafness, which would distress anyone, let alone a musician). There are theories that Van Gogh’s mood swings were caused by porphyria rather than bipolar disorder, that he lost his ear in a duel with Gauguin (claiming self-injury to maintain his friendship) and that his “suicide” was an accidental shooting by two boys playing cowboys (whom he also protected).silver divider between paragraphs
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van gogh starry night on the rhone

silver divider between paragraphsFor others, the genius and madness appear in parallel. Nikola Tesla was a brilliant applied scientist whose inventions rivaled those of Edison. He obtained around 300 patents in radio and electricity technologies, pioneering alternating current and hydroelectric power. However, he claimed to be in communication with other planets, to have invented “death rays” and suffered from bizarre compulsions.silver divider between paragraphs
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van gogh bridge

silver divider between paragraphsJohn Nash, the Nobel-winning mathematician who developed “game theory” for the social sciences also suffered paranoid delusions throughout his career. He was hospitalised involuntarily and had to feign sanity to be released. He still heard the voices but learned how to live with them and not to talk about them. “I wouldn’t have had such good scientific ideas if I had thought more normally” he said.silver divider between paragraphs
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van gogh starry night

silver divider between paragraphsSometimes it is a matter of chance or social milieu that determines whether an individual is deemed brilliant or crazy. To the Counter-Reformation Church leaders, Galileo was not necessarily mad (probably just heretical) but they clearly failed to appreciate his genius and subjected him to a lifetime of house arrest. In other times and places Picasso and Einstein might have been committed to an insane asylum rather than revered for their original thinking.silver divider between paragraphs
moby dick - jackson pollock  826x689

moby dick – jackson pollock

silver divider between paragraphsMany lists of creative achievers throughout history have been compiled along with mental health symptoms and diagnostic categories retrospectively assigned to them. Unfortunately, these are mostly anecdotal, speculative and lacking in proper controls for comparison. Some have argued that the connection between genius and madness has been over-egged because of a few high-profile cases such as those described above.silver divider between paragraphs
virginia woolf by george charles beresford 1902

virginia woolf by george charles beresford 1902

silver divider between paragraphsThe best evidence in support of the genius-madness link comes from behaviour genetics. The close relatives of creative people are more likely to be schizophrenic and vice versa (psychotics having more creative relatives). Einstein, for example, had a son who was schizophrenic, while Bertrand Russell had many schizophrenic relatives. According to Simonton (1999), “creative hits and crazy misses” are mixed within many illustrious family pedigrees, including the Darwins, Galtons and Huxleys.silver divider between paragraphs
virginia woolf

virginia woolf

silver divider between paragraphsThe first degree relatives of creative people are actually more prone to mental disorders than creatives themselves. This is because actual illness (as opposed to its genetic predisposition) is likely to impede a creative career. The exception seems to be writers, who themselves show high rates of many behavioural disorders, including psychoses, mood disorders, substance abuse and suicide.silver divider between paragraphsvirginia-woolf 3silver divider between paragraphsCould the environment also be involved? Traumatic events in childhood and orphan status seem more common in those who make outstanding contributions to art and science. In a study of 700 high achievers, found that three-quarters had troubled childhoods, especially loss of a parent. The “school of hard knocks” could provide motivation and inspiration (Dickens and Chaplin come to mind here) while at the same time generating psychological disorder. However, this idea is opposite to the common-sense view that parental support and encouragement is beneficial to achievement, rather than maltreatment and deprivation. Indeed, the Goetzels found that wealth was more common in the backgrounds of famous people than poverty. And of course, pathology in the parents may be genetically transmitted to their children, thus accounting for some of the associations reported.silver divider between paragraphs
Virginia Woolf  1000x288

Virginia Woolf

silver divider between paragraphsSimilar thought processes, such as unusual and grandiose ideas, together with a determination to promote them, seem to link genius and psychosis. Certain neurotransmitters and gene loci have been cited as common to both, including the male sex hormone testosterone, a gene relating to a growth factor involved in neural development and plasticity called neuregulin 1 (NRG1 and genes modulating dopamine transmission in the brain, e.g., DARPP-32.silver divider between paragraphs
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virginia woolf painting

silver divider between paragraphsUnconventional thinking is characteristic of a constitutional personality trait called Psychoticism (P). This has many facets, including tough-mindedness, lack of empathy, impulsiveness, risk-taking, adventure-seeking, bizarre thinking, and a refusal to adhere to social norms. High levels of P predispose to psychopathy and clinical psychosis, as well as to creativity, thus accounting for the overlap between them. A good deal of research over recent decades has supported this theory. A related trait is called schizotypy. An optimum number of indicators for this relates to creative achievement, rather than full-blown schizophrenia.silver divider between paragraphs
kurt cobain

kurt cobain

silver divider between paragraphsDopamine function (or dysfunction?) may account for the link between genius and madness. Dopamine is the chemical messenger in the meso-limbic and cortical areas of the brain concerned with approach, reward, positive mood and achievement-seeking. Genes that modulate dopamine levels are reported to affect novelty-seeking behaviour and to relate to Impulsivity and Psychoticism. Recreational drugs that are addictive and sometimes lead to delusions and hallucinations (e.g., amphetamine psychosis) tend to raise levels of dopamine in the brain. By contrast, anti-psychotic medications are usually dopamine antagonists (this being one of the reasons why compliance is difficult). Untreated schizophrenics have more D2 receptors in the striatum and lower D2 binding in the thalamus.silver divider between paragraphs
cobain - bipolar  659x446

kurt cobain – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsGenius and psychotic are both inclined to loose associations (i.e., “thinking outside the box”). This can be observed as unusual responses on a word association test or in some of Salvador Dali’s surreal images (e.g., the Lobster-Telephone and the Mae West Lips Sofa). Such flexibility of thought seems to be increased by dopamine.silver divider between paragraphs
beethoven - bipolar  630x630

beethoven – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsAnother description of the schizophrenic thinking style is that it tends to be over-inclusive, with the boundaries of relevance being set more broadly. To most people, an apple falling off a tree and the movement of planets in the solar system would appear to have nothing in common, but Newton was insightful enough to connect them under the grand unifying concept of “gravity.” Of course, not all such generalisations turn out to be that useful but many great scientific theories depend upon the ability to perceive improbable connections.silver divider between paragraphs
carrie fisher - bipolar 638x359

carrie fisher – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsExactly how loose associations or over-inclusive thinking promote genius is unclear. If enough crazy ideas are generated, one or two might hit the target by chance alone. This approach is deliberately harnessed in “brainstorming” sessions which use random “flashcards” as a means of generating fresh ideas. Certainly, it is difficult to be creative operating within received wisdom and some of the greatest artists and composers were the “rebels” least shackled by the traditional rules of their art. However, the “shotgun” theory smacks slightly of “monkeys on typewriters”. (It would take a long time for them come up with the complete works of Shakespeare). Outstanding advances in science, like the theories of evolution and relativity, and great works of art, such as Wagner’s Ring Cycle, cannot be generated by chance alone. Profound imagination and high-level spatial intelligence is usually required in addition.silver divider between paragraphs
bipolar behaviour  655x387

bipolar behaviour

silver divider between paragraphsApplication to the point of “work addiction” is also often involved. Edison reckoned that genius was 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.Most creative people are also the most productive. There is a positive correlation between quality and quantity of output, implying that each masterpiece is likely to be interspersed with much that is mediocre. (I do not ne)cessarily agree with this statement.)silver divider between paragraphs
marilyn monroe - bipolar 630x465

marilyn monroe – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsThe human tendency to apophenia may be implicated in both creativity and madness. This refers to seeing meaningful patterns where they do not exist and it underlies superstition and hallucinations (e.g., seeing ghosts and hearing “voices”). This perceptual style has survival value because failing to spot a predator in the forest is a bigger (potentially fatal) mistake than seeing one where it does not exist. Exaggerated apophenia is characteristic of schizotypal individuals and is enhanced by dopamine.silver divider between paragraphs
ernest hemingway - bipolar 627x590

ernest hemingway – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsAnother mental “illness” linked with creativity is bipolar mood disorder (previously called “manic-depressive psychosis”). This is characterised by extreme mood swings, occurring over a period of months, and it seems particularly to afflict artists, writers, musicians and comedians. Among highly talented people who appear to have suffered mood disorder are Peter Tchaikovsky, Robert Schumann, Vincent Van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Spike Milligan, Paul Merton and Stephen Fry (who presented a TV documentary on bipolar disorder detailing his experiences).silver divider between paragraphs
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winston churchill – bipolar

silver divider between paragraphsGenetic analysis shows links between bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Sufferers are often tortured souls, particularly when the “Black Dog” afflicts them, and their feelings may be tapped to give greater depth and sensitivity to their art. On the other hand, the “flight of ideas” experienced in the “manic” phase of the mood cycle can result in exceptional productivity. As with the trade-off between schizophrenia and genius, bipolar disorder balances troughs with peaks in a way that might account for its evolutionary survival. Treatments are available for bipolar disorder but there is a danger that, by smoothing mood, they could impede the creative forces.silver divider between paragraphs
bipolar wheel 670x480

bipolar wheel

silver divider between paragraphsThen there are the autistic spectrum disorders (such as Asperger’s syndrome) in which a deficiency in social communication is sometimes accompanied by “savant” skills in fields like music, mathematics and spatial intelligence. In the film Rain Man (1988), Dustin Hoffman plays Raymond Babbitt an autistic whose exceptional memory is exploited by his brother to count cards in Las Vegas casinos. (This was loosely based on a real-life savant called Kim Peek, who may in fact have had a chromosome disorder). The artist Louis Wain, who became famous for his surrealistic cat paintings was hospitalised for schizophrenia, but others have argued he was actually autistic.silver divider between paragraphs
marilyn monroe poster 851x315

marilyn monroe poster

silver divider between paragraphsThese various “disorders” can all contribute to extraordinary contributions to art and science. Some tendency to psychotic traits seems to be beneficial (thus accounting for the maintenance of such genes) but too much makes the individual disorganised and is hence detrimental. It is notable that creative artists and writers have profiles similar to those of psychotic patients on clinical scales of the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI) but are less extreme – in fact, roughly half-way between normal controls and full-blown schizophrenics.silver divider between paragraphs
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mel gibson – bipolar

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What is the mechanism whereby schizophrenic genes promote survival? The clue may be in the behaviour of bower birds, the males of which make colourful and elaborate constructions in order to attract a female (the Taj Mahals of the bird world). Creativity has also been shown to promote mating success in men, as measured by number of sex partners. Since there is no such connection for women, it is not surprising that men’s productivity in art and science exceeds that of women by around ten times.(I don’t believe this statement about men exceed women by around ten times in productivity in art and science—more like opportunity and the continued imbalance in availability and acknowledgment).silver divider between paragraphs
medical cannabis for bipolar treatment 634x633

medical cannabis for bipolar treatment

silver divider between paragraphsObviously, it does not do to be totally and permanently “away with the fairies”; some measure of control needs to be maintained. Consider James Joyce and his daughter Lucia, who was being treated by Carl Jung for schizophrenia in 1934. Joyce doubted she could be schizophrenic because her thought patterns were so similar to his own. Jung disagreed, comparing father and daughter to two people who had arrived at the bottom of a river. According to Jung, James had dived there, whereas Lucia had fallen in. silver divider between paragraphs
marilyn monroe her famous selfish quote 647x375

marilyn monroe her famous selfish quote

silver divider between paragraphs
Genius and madness have much in common but there are also important differences between them. Mostly these are to do with intelligence, self-insight and contact with reality. Salvador Dali said: “There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know that I am mad”. Certainly, Dali was eccentric, self-absorbed and grandiose with a flamboyant moustache and a manic stare. But he was also a skilled draftsman, who produced brilliant, imaginative artworks, which made him rich, famous and able to enjoy a life of luxury. He was not, therefore, totally mad. © Professor Glenn D Wilson 2012
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Genius or Madness? The Psychology of Creativity – Professor Glenn D. Wilson. The text is close to what is on the video but if you want to see it just click on this link.
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“Up/Down” Bipolar Disorder Documentary FULL MOVIE (2011)silver divider between paragraphsThis is a brilliantly made Documentary. Everyone who is Bipolar or knows someone who is or those in the Psychiatric profession and do counseling with anyone who is bipolar or anyone interested in bipolar and everyone who wants to have a knowledge of bipolar and find out what it is from what the myths are or how much people are misinformed about bipolar. A MUST SEE VIDEO. STOP THE STIGMA OF BIPOLAR AND ANY FORM OF MENTAL “ILLNESS” CREATIVITY.silver divider between paragraphs

Beethoven’s Ninth Symphonysilver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on GENIUS:

“There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.” ― Oscar Levant

“Genius is nothing more nor less than childhood recaptured at will.” ― Charles Baudelaire, The Painter of Modern Life and Other Essays

“No great mind has ever existed without a touch of madness.” ― Aristotle

“I’m a misunderstood genius.”
“What’s misunderstood?”
“Nobody thinks I’m a genius.”
― Bill Watterson

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” ― E.F. Schumacher

“The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Artist as Critic: Critical Writings of Oscar Wilde

“The true genius shudders at incompleteness — imperfection — and usually prefers silence to saying the something which is not everything that should be said.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, Marginaliasilver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on MADNESS:

“Sanity is a madness put to good uses.” ― George Santayana, Essential Santayana, The: Selected Writings

“So when you find yourself locked onto an unpleasant train of thought, heading for the places in your past where the screaming is unbearable, remember there’s always madness. Madness is the emergency exit.” ― Alan Moore, Batman: The Killing Joke

“Human madness is oftentimes a cunning and most feline thing. When you think it fled, it may have but become transfigured into some still subtler form.” ― Herman Melville, Moby-Dick

“I don’t possess these thoughts I have — they possess me. I don’t possess these feelings I have — They obsess me.” ― Ashly Lorenzana

“The thoughts written on the walls of madhouses by their inmates might be worth publicizing.” ― Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

“Men have called me mad; but the question is not settled whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence — whether much that is glorious — whether all that is profound — does not spring from disease of thought — from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect. They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night. In their gray visions they obtain glimpses of eternity, and thrill, in waking, to find that they have been upon the verge of the great secret. In snatches, they learn something of the wisdom which is of good, and more of the mere knowledge which is of evil. They penetrate, however rudderless or compassless, into the vast ocean of the ‘light ineffable’.” ― Edgar Allan Poe, Eleonora silver divider between paragraphs
QUOTATIONS on BIPOLAR:

“I’m the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible…” ― Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation

“There is a particular kind of pain, elation, loneliness, and terror involved in this kind of madness. When you’re high it’s tremendous. The ideas and feelings are fast and frequent like shooting stars, and you follow them until you find better and brighter ones. Shyness goes, the right words and gestures are suddenly there, the power to captivate others a felt certainty. There are interests found in uninteresting people. Sensuality is pervasive and the desire to seduce and be seduced irresistible. Feelings of ease, intensity, power, well-being, financial omnipotence, and euphoria pervade one’s marrow. But, somewhere, this changes. The fast ideas are far too fast, and there are far too many; overwhelming confusion replaces clarity. Memory goes. Humor and absorption on friends’ faces are replaced by fear and concern. Everything previously moving with the grain is now against– you are irritable, angry, frightened, uncontrollable, and enmeshed totally in the blackest caves of the mind. You never knew those caves were there. It will never end, for madness carves its own reality.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Manic-depression distorts moods and thoughts, incites dreadful behaviors, destroys the basis of rational thought, and too often erodes the desire and will to live. It is an illness that is biological in its origins, yet one that feels psychological in the experience of it, an illness that is unique in conferring advantage and pleasure, yet one that brings in its wake almost unendurable suffering and, not infrequently, suicide.” ― Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

“Compared to bipolar’s magic, reality seems a raw deal. It’s not just the boredom that makes recovery so difficult, it’s the slow dawning pain that comes with sanity – the realization of illnesss, the humiliating scenes, the blown money and friendships and confidence. Depression seems almost inevitable. The pendulum swings back from transcendence in shards, a bloody, dangerous mess. Crazy high is better than crazy low. So we gamble, dump the pills, and stick it to the control freaks and doctors. They don’t understand, we say. They just don’t get it. They’ll never be artists.” ― David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“Depression is a painfully slow, crashing death. Mania is the other extreme, a wild roller coaster run off its tracks, an eight ball of coke cut with speed. It’s fun and it’s frightening as hell. Some patients – bipolar type I – experience both extremes; other – bipolar type II – suffer depression almost exclusively. But the “mixed state,” the mercurial churning of both high and low, is the most dangerous, the most deadly. Suicide too often results from the impulsive nature and physical speed of psychotic mania coupled with depression’s paranoid self-loathing.” ― David Lovelace, Scattershot: My Bipolar Family

“Absurdity and anti—absurdity are the two poles of creative energy.” ― Karl Lagerfeld

“Except you cannot outrun insanity, anymore than you can outrun your own shadow.” ― Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother

“Clear your energy, honor your rhythm, live your vision ” ― George Denslow, Living Out of Darkness: A Personal Journey of Embracing the Bipolar Opportunitysilver divider between paragraphs

Toward A New Understanding of Mental Illness

Toward A New Understanding of Mental Illness
TED Talk: Thomas Insel
Post Created by j. kiley
Post Created 04.24.13
Posted 04..13

van gogh starry night variation

van gogh starry night on the rhone

38,000 people die each year from Suicide. One every 15 minutes. More than murders and traffic accidents. And those who are likely to commit Suicide are those with Brain Disorders. Medical studies are moving away from calling Brain Disorders the term mental illness or disorders or a behavioral disease.

Published on Apr 16, 2013

Today, thanks to better early detection, there are 63% fewer deaths from heart disease than there were just a few decades ago. Thomas Insel, Director of the National Institute of Mental Health, wonders: Could we do the same for depression and schizophrenia? The first step in this new avenue of research, he says, is a crucial reframing: for us to stop thinking about “mental disorders” and start understanding them as “brain disorders.”

Thomas Insel: Toward a new understanding of mental illness TED Talk

QUOTATIONS on BRAIN vs MENTAL

“I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool takes in all the lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has a difficulty in laying his hands upon it. Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his brain-attic. He will have nothing but the tools which may help him in doing his work, but of these he has a large assortment, and all in the most perfect order. It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and can distend to any extent. Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, A Study in Scarlet

“But when you’re in front of an audience and you make them laugh at a new idea, you’re guiding the whole being for the moment. No one is ever more him/herself than when they really laugh. Their defenses are down. It’s very Zen-like, that moment. They are completely open, completely themselves when that message hits the brain and the laugh begins. That’s when new ideas can be implanted. If a new idea slips in at that moment, it has a chance to grow.” ― George Carlin, Last Words

“The vast majority of us imagine ourselves as like literature people or math people. But the truth is that the massive processor known as the human brain is neither a literature organ or a math organ. It is both and more.” ― John Green

“It is not seen as insane when a fighter, under an attack that will inevitable lead to his death, chooses to take his own life first. In fact, this act has been encouraged for centuries, and is accepted even now as an honorable reason to do the deed. How is it any different when you are under attack by your own mind?” ― Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

“My mind,” he said, “rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of Four

“Their screams would echo through the house and reverberate against my eardrums until my mind would fracture. Years went by and with each fracture; I lost a piece of my soul until I became lost and empty inside.” ― J.D. Stroube, Caged in Darkness

“Statistics say that a range of mental disorders affects more than one in four Americans in any given year. That means millions of Americans are totally batshit.
but having perused the various tests available that they use to determine whether you’re manic depressive. OCD, schizo-affective, schizophrenic, or whatever, I’m surprised the number is that low. So I have gone through a bunch of the available tests, and I’ve taken questions from each of them, and assembled my own psychological evaluation screening which I thought I’d share with you.
So, here are some of the things that they ask to determine if you’re mentally disordered
1. In the last week, have you been feeling irritable?
2. In the last week, have you gained a little weight?
3. In the last week, have you felt like not talking to people?
4. Do you no longer get as much pleasure doing certain things as you used to?
5. In the last week, have you felt fatigued?
6. Do you think about sex a lot?
If you don’t say yes to any of these questions either you’re lying, or you don’t speak English, or you’re illiterate, in which case, I have the distinct impression that I may have lost you a few chapters ago.”
― Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking

“It is now well established that the unconscious mind is the wellspring of all human creativity.” ― Earnest Rossi

Teen Suicides - I wish I had a real answer

Reblogged from Vampire Maman:

It is sad that my 13 year old daughter talked about suicides for about a half hour last night. She wouldn’t shut up about it but then again, she needed to talk about it. But what was scary was how she was so matter of fact about it. But she was also passionate and angry about it.

This isn't the first time she talked about it.

Read more… 859 more words

bully film posterBullying is an issue everyone, whether you have children or not, should be concerned with and should be upset about. This post that Vampire Maman wrote brought up many important points that need to be addressed immediately. Bullying should not be tolerated or allowed to exist in our school systems. Go to her site and read the complete post. Join in the non-violent fight of stopping this HORRIBLY SAD situation, where children think that suicide is the only answer to ending the pain of bullying. Stopping the Bullies is the answer and coming to the aid of those who need help. Tell them it will be alright. Help stop their pain by stopping the torture and stopping teen suicide because of it. "Teen Suicides - I wish I had a real answer" written by Vampire Maman *******I have the film "Bully" but I haven't watched it yet. My therapist thought it would be too triggering. Someday soon I am going to see it. (She gave me her approval today to watch this as long as I do some Art Work while watching to de-stress me. *******The young man in the film, I have heard who was mercilessly bullied, now has come out of his shell because of the film. He has lots of friends. He is a success story. *******Far too many teens have taken the road to commit suicide. It is far too painful and the bullies are far too merciless. *******I understand the effects of bullying. I was in music, marching band, orchestra, theatre, sports, and other activities that drew unwanted attention to myself. I didn't fit in anywhere, and I was also extremely shy. But when I was in school the bullying wasn't what it is today. Suicide wasn't the first solution. I don't remember anyone succeeding or attempting suicide. But I may have just blocked it all out. I know that I did think about it. I even did try to commit suicide because of the pain inside of me.But I realized that suicide wasn't the answer. I didn't want to die, I just wanted the pain to stop. *******It seems that today, it is the first resort to ending the pain. Like you, I don't know the answers. If you tell on the bullies, you are considered a snitch, and it makes the bullying worse. I think you are right , there should be a no tolerance rule on bullying. You bully kids you are out of that school. Try a little home schooling on the bullies. Let the other kids live in peace. ******* I suppose, if I were a student today, I might or rather I would be one of the at risk kids to commit suicide. I know from the way I felt at that age, I would not be able to take the kind of torture they are handing out today. *******I think maybe it is time for me to watch the film "Bully." It is one of the top issues I try to focus on and I try to talk about on the secret keeper, but I haven't done it recently. I have an avatar of purple lightning on FB that I vowed I would not replace until bullying was brought under control and stopped. *******It is time to watch the film, review it and to talk about it. *******Vampire Maman, your post is great. Something I needed to read right now. Thank you for bringing up the issue to help people become more aware. There does need to be a constant awareness bringing "Bullying" to everyone's attention. We need to be continually reminded that the issue exists. *******It is curious that I happened to be talking to my partner Shawn about this just this past week. I wondered where was our copy of "Bully." I told her about the boy I mentioned above. I lost my point. Until I remember, I would like to say that I think the point of Vampire Maman's of giving strong support to the weaker kids is a brilliant idea. All kids should get involved. *******I remember. It was about one of the authority figures on a film clip I had viewed, who was from the school where the film "Bully" took place. She said, that "she has ridden the bus in question," (she is talking to some parents,) "and the kids were nothing but behaved. There wasn't any problem here, that she saw." Well, she sounds like a real idiot. Does she really think those kids, especially the bullies, are going to act out while she is present. How stupid is she. This is the mentality kids and parents are dealing with, because they don't see it, it isn't happening. They would rather not see reality, that way they don't have to do anything about it, or feel responsible for the bullying happening. Who knows maybe some of them were bullies themselves and feel, "well, isn't that too bad. why don't they stop whining and just suck it up." *******Something has too happen in the schools. Bullying should be tantamount to abuse on many levels and should not be tolerated and should be prosecuted. It's plain out and out torture. *******Since when is it ok to torture kids. It's like one level below domestic violence, which once upon a time was ignored, and not considered significant enough for the police to do anything about it, until someone was usually killed. *******I am going to reblog this, and later today I'm going to try to find our copy of the film "Bully" and watch it. *******Sometime this week, if I am able, I am going to write a review of the film "Bully". But if not this week I will do it as soon as I am able to. It will be soon, I promise you that. jk the secret keeper. ps. A Great Post Vampire Maman. jk the secret keeper *******STOP BULLYING NOW---*******STOP TEEN SUICIDE NOW---*******SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER---*******IT IS ONLY AN ALL TOO PERMANENT ANSWER FOR A TEMPORARY PROBLEM.

Homophobia & Bullying Needs To Stop

Homophobia & Bullying Needs To Stop
Post Created by jk the secret keeper
Opening Written by Jennifer Kiley
Created 02.27.13
Posted 02.28.13

bully film poster

I have the film Bully and intend to watch once my psychotherapist returns from vacation. Those are her orders. No Hunger Games or Girls With the Dragon Tattoo either. Subject matter too triggering. Here is a video of the trailer to Bully and a film review plus a synopsis from the producers. I will be writing a film review once I have watched this very important film. Originally, b/c of language & subject matter those that really need to see this film were going to be kept from viewing it. If I understand correctly that is no longer the case. Some of the children that are shown in the film ended up becoming so overwhelmed by their being bullied that they committed suicide. Suicide is a strong reaction but it is not usually b/c you want to die but you just want the pain to end. I have those words echoing in my head as a mantra. I have had my own experience with all of these issues as so many of us have. Here is the the trailer to Bully. Following the material representing the film Bully is a video made by a young man who is not gay but takes on the topic of homophobia, bullying & respecting one another. You will be shocked by some of the material he posts from Facebook pages in the comment sections. It is quite horrible that people would hold such violent hatred toward other humans who are “different” then they think they are. But in fact, we are all different & unique. Why bullies cannot see that they would not want to receive the same treatment as they administer to those that they bully. I have been reading the book “Orange Petals in a Storm.” One of the many imaginative & magical elements in the story that absorb you includes the quite intriguing way the young girl and main character finds the resolutions to the many situations she encounters such as that of bullying and abuse. Not to give too much away, those who bully & abuse are often victims themselves. That is not a reason to go on to become a bully yourself. When I hear about those who sexually abuse children speak up & tell that they were sexually abused themselves. NOT AN EXCUSE. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR BULLYING, ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC ABUSE, SEXUAL ABUSE or any form of sexual abuse toward a child or an adult. NO EXCUSE. NO EXCUSE IS ACCEPTABLE. By Jennifer Kiley

Bully Trailer Official 2012 [HD]

Directed by Sundance and Emmy-award winning filmmaker, Lee Hirsch, Bully is a beautifully cinematic, character-driven documentary. At its heart are those with huge stakes in this issue whose stories each represent a different facet of America’s bullying crisis. Bully follows five kids and families over the course of a school year. Stories include two families who have lost children to suicide and a mother awaiting the fate of her 14-year-old daughter who has been incarcerated after bringing a gun on her school bus. With an intimate glimpse into homes, classrooms, cafeterias and principals’ offices, the film offers insight into the often cruel world of the lives of bullied children. — (C) Weinstein

Film review of BULLY:
Bullied like me
COLIN COVERT
Minnesota Star Tribune
April 13, 2012

Documentary focuses on the torment faced by a handful of young students, including two who took their own lives.

Parents just don’t understand. That’s the message of Lee Hirsch’s powerful documentary “Bully.” The parents of kids who behave thuggishly to their classmates shrug off child-on-child abuse as “kids just being kids.” The families of children on the receiving end of nonstop mistreatment don’t comprehend their suffering. The parents of 17-year-old Tyler Long, allegedly the victim of longtime harassment by his classmates, didn’t realize how he felt until he hanged himself in his bedroom closet.

David and Tina Long have been battling school bullying in Georgia since their son’s 2009 suicide. Their story is one of five told in the film, which Hirsch filmed over the course of a year with no lights, no sound person and only a small video camera. While his film is limited in scope (all his subjects live in fairly rural settings), it reflects a sadly prevalent state of affairs.

From the Longs, the film moves to Alex Libby and his family in Sioux City, Iowa. “I feel kind of nervous about going to school,” says Alex, whose classmates ostracize him. “I like learning, but I have trouble making friends.” He enters seventh grade fearful it will be another chapter in a continuing story of humiliation. “They punch me, strangle me, take things from me, sit on me. Sometimes they push me so hard it makes me want to be the bully,” he says. Alex’s mom brings the problem to the school principal, who — apparently more concerned with saving face than addressing the problem — shrugs off her concerns.

But Hirsch’s film captures the perspective of Alex and other victims: physical abuse, insults and threats, school bus rides that resemble mob scenes from “Lord of the Flies.” It’s painful viewing, but necessary. Catharsis often involves going to dark places.

Related Article: Director’s Bully Pulpit
Director Lee Hirsch’s documentary “Bully” lifts the veil on a seemingly perpetual childhood scourge. Recording the experience of several adolescents with a compact video camera, he provides an authentic glimpse at conditions that some victimized students face daily…

Homophobia Needs To Stop

Published on Feb 24, 2013
A Statement made by the young man who created this video on Homophobia, Bullying & Respect

I’m not gay myself but even so. It’s a shame that things have gotten this bad. I’m sorry the editing isn’t very good, I wanted to get it uploaded asap. Sorry also for the speed of the screen shots, you may have to pause them. It’s a shame that ‘gay’ has now become some kind of derogatory term. It’s bad that in this day and age, people cannot be grown up about sexual orientation. Everyone is equal. It’s those that actually accept that are the winners.

Saxophonist Amy Dickson – Philip Glass’ Violin Concerto No 1.

“The sad truth about bigotry is that most bigots either don’t realize that they are bigots, or they convince themselves that their bigotry is perfectly justified.”
― Wayne Gerard Trotman

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
― Michael J. Fox

“Our love of lockstep is our greatest curse, the source of all that bedevils us. It is the source of homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexism, terrorism, bigotry of every variety and hue, because it tells us there is one right way to do things, to look, to behave, to feel, when the only right way is to feel your heart hammering inside you and to listen to what its timpani is saying.” ― Anna Quindlen

“Some people won’t be happy until they’ve pushed you to the ground. What you have to do is have the courage to stand your ground and not give them the time of day. Hold on to your power and never give it away.” ― Donna Schoenrock

“I hate the word homophobia. It’s not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.”
― Morgan Freeman

“No, you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels all right
You don’t know what it’s like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No, you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life”
― Simple Plan

“Social conservatives seem to see a bigger threat to marriage from committed gay couples who want in on it than from straight ones who opt out of it.”
― Margaret Talbot

“1. Bullying is not okay. Period.

2. Freedom of religion does not give you the right to physically or verbally assault people.

3. If your sincerely-held religious beliefs require you to bully children, then your beliefs are fucked up.”
― Jim C. Hines

“What would my first sergeant do if he came across me and another girl getting it on? He’d want pictures. He’d want to join in. He’d want me and this other girl to double-team him right then and there. On the other hand, since most heterosexual men are homophobic and sexist, most straight guys figure gay men will treat them the way they themselves treat women- that is, like sex objects. And this freaks them the fuck out.” ― Kayla Williams, Love My Rifle More than You: Young and Female in the U.S. Army

“It gets better. It seems hard, you know, I think being different is always gonna be a tough climb. There’s always gonna be people that are scared of it. But at the end of the day you give those bullies, those people, that are so ignorant, if you give them the power to affect you, you’re letting them win. And they don’t deserve that. What you’re doing by being yourself is you’re keeping it real, and you’re being really brave.” ― Adam Lambert

“The whole world goes on and on about love. Poets spend their lives writing about it. Everyone thinks it’s the most wonderful thing. But, when you mention two guys in love, they forget all that and freak out.” ― Mark A. Roeder, Outfield Menace

“Could a scar be like the rings of a tree, reopened with each emotional season?”
― Magenta Periwinkle, Cutting Class

“I have almost completed a long novel, but it is unpublishable until my death and England’s.” — E.M. Forster (speaking of Maurice & England at the time.)

“When the Washington Post telephoned me at home on Valentine’s Day 1989 to ask my opinion about the Ayatollah Khomeini’s fatwah, I felt at once that here was something that completely committed me. It was, if I can phrase it like this, a matter of everything I hated versus everything I loved. In the hate column: dictatorship, religion, stupidity, demagogy, censorship, bullying, and intimidation. In the love column: literature, irony, humor, the individual, and the defense of free expression. Plus, of course, friendship—though I like to think that my reaction would have been the same if I hadn’t known Salman at all. To re-state the premise of the argument again: the theocratic head of a foreign despotism offers money in his own name in order to suborn the murder of a civilian citizen of another country, for the offense of writing a work of fiction. No more root-and-branch challenge to the values of the Enlightenment (on the bicentennial of the fall of the Bastille) or to the First Amendment to the Constitution, could be imagined. President George H.W. Bush, when asked to comment, could only say grudgingly that, as far as he could see, no American interests were involved…” ― Christopher Hitchens, Hitch-22: A Memoir

“The concept that really gets the goat of the gay-hater, the idea that really spins their melon and sickens their stomachs is that most terrible and terrifying of all human notions, love. That one can love another of the same gender, that is what the homophobe really cannot stand. Love in all eight tones and all five semitones of the world’s full octave. Love as Agape, Eros and Philos; love as infatuation, obsession and lust; love as torture, euphoria, ecstasy and oblivion (this is beginning to read like a Calvin Klein perfume catalogue); love as need, passion and desire.” ― Stephen Fry, Moab Is My Washpot

“Everyone I say stop bullying it is sad and tears someones heart apart and next thing they do is Suicide because they think that is the right next step! If you are a Person who gets bullied find someone who will stop this! Don’t just kill yourself for the other person to be happy because you are gone! They are just jealous of you and want to start problems and make you a troublemaker! Ignore those mean cruel evil people in you life and spend time with the nice caring sweet loving angels of yours! :D Because bullying is a dumb and stupid waste of time! Try to shake it off the mean hurtful stuff and keep on doing the right stuff that is going to help you become a better person and when i say a better person i mean more than a better person! ― Skye Daphne, The Witch who was a princess

“You could move.’ —”Dear Abby” responds to a reader who complained that a gay couple was moving in across the street and wanted to know what he could do to improve the quality of the neighborhood.”
― Abigail Van Buren

“….watch me rise like smoke from fire.

Watch me fly above your hate.

Watch me dance upon your meanness
like a ballerina with posture; grace.

Watch me laugh over your hatred;
watch me soar above your sea of grief.

And know that I am out there somewhere…

C R U S H I N G.”
― Coco J. Ginger

“We’re sick of hearing people say, “That band is so gay,” or “Those guys are fags.” Gay is not a synonym for shitty. If you wanna say something’s shitty, say it’s shitty. Stop being such homophobic assholes.”
― Pete Wentz

“You know, when someone hurts my feelings, somehow it does not comfort me to know that it was deliberate… On the other hand, knowing that someone else thinks they are assholes helps a great deal.”
“I think that’s some kind of rule for the universe.”
― John Barnes, Tales of the Madman Underground

“He had put his hand up in class, a declaration of existence, a claim that he knew something. And that was forbidden to him. They could give a number of reasons for why they had to torment him; he was too fat, too ugly, too disgusting. But the real problem was simply that he existed, and every reminder of his existence was a crime.”
― John Ajvide Lindqvist, Let the Right One In

the perks of being a wallflower

the perks of being a wallflower
film review by jennifer kiley
created 02.17.13
posted 02.18.13

the-perks-of-being-a-wallflower

Emma Watson—Sam; Logan Lerman—Charlie; Ezra Miller—Patrick

The Perks of Being a Wallflower was a surprise from beginning to end. When choosing to rent the film “Bully” other films were suggested. I had heard of this film but did not know many details about it, so when I saw it amongst the other choices to check out I looked into it. My partner told me that Emma Watson was in it. Well, that was all I needed to hear, being a Harry Potter fan and loving the character of Hermione Granger & sharing the same birthday as Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself. It was a go. I watched a brief trailer and read a synopsis of the film and was more and more encouraged to wanting to see it like NOW. Well, after putting it into the DVD player a little less than five hours ago from writing this, I was totally swept away by the first song that opened up the film. I have the video on this post: Could It Be Another Change by the Samples. Brilliant lyrics, beautiful song. It draws you quickly into the feel of the film. I included a trailer and the three stars and director appearing on Anderson Live. It is a short but fun video of this amazing cast and the director. Perks… is adapted from the book. The screenplay is quite intelligent, written perfectly and the story is a surprise in every moment. You have no idea what to expect. It unfolds sometimes with a bite and then a gentle nudge.

The relationships that develop are unique. The uncertainty of whether one is watching a comedy sometimes and a drama at others makes for a delightful and warming comfort that these young people in high school have found each other. But it isn’t simple at all. Events, memories and conversations that occur are never predictable and hold many startling surprises. I was spellbound by the entire film. I rewatched it with barely a break between the ending and beginning it again. That is how powerful and great a film it is. There is such depth and the film is filled with so many profound moments throughout the entire film. There is never a moment that you want your attention to wander. It seems essential to hear every word and see every movement between people and settings.

This group that Charlie has been invited into by Sam and her step-brother Patrick, see themselves as wallflowers, which in this film is a good thing. The others in the film who are on the periphery. The characters you expect to be the bullies, who meet that criteria, and the “popular” (whatever that actually means) kids are the ones that seem out of place and boring and sometimes quite insufferable to watch. You really want them to just disappear. To go away. Poof!

This film does have its hidden secrets, but I will not reveal what they are. I am NOT GOING TO DO SPOILERS here. You need to find out on your own. I would strongly suggest you rent or buy this DVD and add it to your collection. In my humble opinion, I feel it is something you will want to watch and need to watch and something everyone should watch. See the film and you will understand why I am saying this. The young actors who play these well defined characters are familiar, especially Emma Watson, who plays Sam, a young girl who is so loveable and kind, you just want to hug her for all the wonderful things she does. You feel her vulnerability and generosity when she meets Charlie, played by Logan Lerman, a writer lives within him. A superb actor who I first discovered in the TV show Jack and Bobby. Christine Lahti played mom and a college professor. Logan’s character was a young kid destined to become president.

Then there is Patrick played by Ezra Miller. You may know him from a film that, also, starred Tilda Swinton: We Need to Talk About Kevin. If you saw this film you would remember. It is a film made in 2011 that fits right in with the constantly increasing violence and mass shooting murders happening all too often in the USA and around the world. A difficult film to watch but brilliantly made and the acting and screenplay haunting. Patrick is an out going, marvelously developed young man who befriends the misfits and stands up for who he is and doesn’t take shit from anyone. You absolutely adore him or at least I did and so did my partner. He is a marvelous character that anyone would want to emulate.

All three are loveable young people, that you cannot help but cheer for and want to support throughout the film. I cannot praise this film enough. The Perks of Being a Wallflower has received raving reviews from critics and audiences. It is well worth your time to see this film. If you don’t you will never know what a majorly profound moment in time you have missed or better said you have been left out of or let pass you by. If I could rate it higher than the usual Five Stars most films give as the highest marks, then I would raise it to TEN STARS.**********

Oh, I did forget to mention it does take place in the early 1990s, with drugs and love, and sex confusion, gay characters that are not always treated with respect or into the closet and obnoxious about it. The trial of being teenagers and some who have lived through traumas that are discovered throughout the film. Charlie, is the main focus but all those around him are devoted to reassuring themselves that he is taken care of and is alright. It will hold your attention. I wanted to be sure I heard every word and nuance that occurred during the entire film. A brownie anyone.

The book has become a bible to some teenagers. One of the actor’s had to read it first before a group in his school would allow him to join them as friends. It is an important story that all people should become aware of it. Read the book and watch the film. It is the story that touches everyone’s experiences someplace in their lives, in some way. One last thought: the fact that it is a film and book about the lives of teenagers does not limit it to be something that only teenagers would want to see. It goes into the collective mind. We have all been someplace in this story. It does have an effect on all of us. — jk the secret keeper

The Perks of Being a Wallflower Trailer (2012—Emma Watson)

Emma Watson: “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”: Anderson Live—9.17.12

could it be another change—the samples

“Children who are victimized through sexual abuse often begin to develop deeply held tenets that shape their sense of self: ‘My worth is my sexuality. I’m dirty and shameful. I have no right to my own physical boundaries.’ That shapes their ideas about the world around them: ‘No one will believe me. Telling the truth results in bad consequences. People can’t be trusted.’ It doesn’t take long for children to begin to act in accordance with these belief systems. For girls who have experienced incest, sexual abuse, or rape, the boundaries between love, sex, and pain become blurred. Secrets are normal, and shame is a constant.” ― Rachel Lloyd, Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls are Not for Sale, an Activist Finds Her Calling and Heals Herself

“We accept the love we think we deserve.” —Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

A Room of Her Own

A Room of Her Own
by Jennifer Kiley
created 01.25.13
posted 01.26.13

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIRGINIA WOOLF b. 25th January 1882 — 28 March 1941

virginia woolf b. 25th january 1882

Adeline Virginia Woolf was an English writer, regarded as one of the foremost modernist literary figures of the twentieth century.

“Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.” — Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” ― Virginia Woolf

During the interwar period, Woolf was a significant figure in London literary society and a member of the Bloomsbury Group. Her most famous works include the novels Mrs Dalloway (1925), To the Lighthouse (1927) and Orlando (1928), and the book-length essay A Room of One’s Own (1929), with its famous dictum, “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

virginia woolf

virginia woolf

“Writing is like sex. First you do it for love, then you do it for your friends, and then you do it for money.” ― Virginia Woolf

“Books are the mirrors of the soul.” ― Virginia Woolf, Between the Acts

“I can only note that the past is beautiful because one never realises an emotion at the time. It expands later, and thus we don’t have complete emotions about the present, only about the past.” ― Virginia Woolf

Her personal life from childhood on was filled with loss and abuse and breakdowns in reaction to suffering due much from what was happening to her and the fact that her mother emotionally abandoned her then died and shortly after her half sister died also. She had half brothers who sexually abused her and lived in a male world where she was not allowed to have the same educated benefits of men. Even with all this that she was up against she stil spoke out about the injustices done to women.

virginia_woolf_by_george_charles_beresford_1902

virginia_woolf_by_george_charles_beresford_1902

“The truth is, I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity. ” ― Virginia Woolf

“Love, the poet said, is woman’s whole existence.” ― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

“Growing up is losing some illusions, in order to acquire others.” ― Virginia Woolf

In her writing, Virginia expressed the relationships in her life, very autobiographical. It was her way of working through the disturbances she had and was living through. She didn’t seek out psychoanalysis even though her husband Leonard and her published Sigmund Freud through their Hogarth Press.

She did suffere from manic-depression with hallucinations and her deep depressions made her life and abilities seem hopeless. Near the end, she felt she was bringing down her husband and she felt once again she was losing her mind but felt that this time she wasn’t going to return.

virginia-woolf-geniuses-who-kill-themselves

virginia-woolf-geniuses-who-kill-themselves

“All extremes of feeling are allied with madness.” ― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

“For it would seem – her case proved it – that we write, not with the fingers, but with the whole person. The nerve which controls the pen winds itself about every fibre of our being, threads the heart, pierces the liver.” ― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

After completing the manuscript of her last (posthumously published) novel, Between the Acts, Woolf fell into a depression similar to that which she had earlier experienced. The onset of World War II, the destruction of her London home during the Blitz, and the cool reception given to her biography of her late friend Roger Fry all worsened her condition until she was unable to work. On 28 March 1941, Woolf put on her overcoat, filled its pockets with stones, and walked into the River Ouse near her home and drowned herself. Woolf’s body was not found until 18 April 1941. Her husband buried her cremated remains under an elm in the garden of Monk’s House, their home in Rodmell, Sussex.

In her last note to her husband she wrote:

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier ’til this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that—everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer. I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been. V.

“I meant to write about death, only life came breaking in as usual” ― Virginia Woolf

“To look life in the face, always, to look life in the face, and to know it for what it is…at last, to love it for what it is, and then to put it away.”
― Virginia Woolf

“What is the meaning of life? That was all- a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one.” ― Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

I feel so connected to Virginia Woolf in many ways and have a strong sense of what she lived through and could truly understand why she made the final decision at the end to take her own life. One can live with so much pain for so long and when you feel that you are losing that mind that gives you an escape into your writing so that at least you have an outlet in which to express directly or symbolically what is or has occurred in your life, than what is the alternative to fight that battle with the madness that is always trying to possess you and you feel it has finally won the battle against you. Walking into a river, Virginia felt was the only way to walk away from what was torturing her and I feel that she didn’t feel she could carry on making those she love have to suffer any longer worrying about her as she was losing who she was forever. This is just my theory. jk the secret keeper

Philip Glass-The Hours

“A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

Philip Glass-Vanessa and the Changelings

“They went in and out of each other’s minds without any effort.” ― Virginia Woolf

Philip Glass-Dead Things

“Fiction is like a spider’s web, attached ever so lightly perhaps, but still attached to life at all four corners.” ― Virginia Woolf

Philip Glass-The Poet Act

“For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.” ― Virginia Woolf

“I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river, to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything.” ― Virginia Woolf, Night and Day

feel the emotions

feel the emotions
collage by jennifer kiley
©transgraphics by j. kiley
poem in collage by khalil gibran
“love” from “the prophet”
01.13.13

Juliet Died First #29

Juliet Died First
By Jennifer Kiley
Trans-Graphics by j. kiley
11.28.12
November Month of the Verse 30 days 30 verses #29 (1 poems left )
December Month of Haiku 31 days 31 haiku-started the eve of Nov.30th

la chute d’eau est augmentée de nouveaux bourgeons premiers by j. kiley

Juliet Died First
By Jennifer Kiley
11.28.12 #29

Juliet died first
Followed by her Romeo
But low, what light through yonder window breaks
It is the East and Juliet is the sun
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she

this is fate responding
to its betrayal
two strangers are drawn together
after meeting
while masked in disguise
touching hands
as though touching all
is a heartfelt fantasy
held in a loving imagination
not impossible to do
does one join so quickly in bonding?
in such a rapid
strong and powerful way?

their fate was sealed
when they felt they could create
their own destiny
everything that was planned
followed through
in the most clumsiest of manners
a messenger with a note
that meant death to the receiver
and his beloved
if it was not served in time
can anyone depend on time
to travel at the pace
one needs it to succeed
in a great but foolish plan indeed
one’s life depends on it
but time is not there to help
but in all cases
to hinder every moment
that is dear

if only it had been spoken
a longer soliloquy
or the poison
was not given at all
but replaced smartly by another
not quite so deadly
to save the ending
and no dagger to use
just in case
but what a foolish blunder
the priest set in motion
by giving wrong counsel
instead finding a wise answer
to their dilemma
not setting in motion
their destiny
there was no survival
once this plan was set in motion
love will have its way
it is stronger than life itself
the sacrifice will be made
when separated by the fates
a powerful force to put off course
it was not to be
with Juliet and her Romeo

young love seems
it must be now
or all is destroyed
beyond control
it is beyond control
even at an age
far passed youth
but the answer is not suicide
thinking life is over
at the loss of a passionate lover
feels so powerful
your screams sound
throughout the universe
calling out for her soul
return
your voice will carry far
breaking into the spirit world
the message passed along

her spirit will return
to where you are
guiding you
through your pain
never to abandon you again
it was a temporary leave
finding what she could do
if you only knew
you were as blind as Romeo
he didn’t trust Juliet
to be there for him either
he left her first
what was she to do
she had to take her life
she couldn’t live without it
Romeo had taken her heart
when he killed himself
in that moment he killed her too

love should not be
so all consuming
there are other ways
to resolve the issues
taking control
trust yourself
keep your love alive
find a better way
than wanting to die
doing it
is no answer
seek out
a different
solution
it can be
found…

© Jennifer Kiley 2012

A Time For Us-Loreena McKinnitt

Prokofiev-Romeo and Juliet ballet
Opera Nationa de Paris with Rudolph Nureyev and Monique Loudières

Stranger To Forever #17

Stranger To Forever
by Jennifer Kiley
Trans-Graphics by J. Kiley
11.16.12
November Month of the Verse 30 days 30 verses #17

in her name by j. kiley

Stranger To Forever
By Jennifer Kiley
11.16.12 #17

stranger to forever
goodbye way too soon
to many loved ones leaving
friends and lovers i have known
a year ago another friend
she left the month just before june

we’re talking about forever
something no one even knows
a friend told me a true story
“a child he goes to heaven
looks straight in Jesus’ eyes
he saw his baby sister
never born too soon she dies
back he comes from heaven
his heart starts up again
another child who’d been there
drew some pictures-things she saw
he identified in her drawing
Jesus-the person that he saw
for his baby sister
too young to understand
his mom had a miscarriage
they never told him about her”

stranger to forever
makes me doubt
that this is false
a child doesn’t know such things
he wouldn’t know what wasn’t real
he was brought back as a witness
giving us something to believe in
to test our beliefs and doubts

stranger to forever
beginning something new
as an adventure trusting someone
feeling the same thing as you

people keep changing places
i’m not sure if i’ll adjust
to someone i love leaving
it’s starting to effect me
my thinking about you
not being here forever
i never thought you too

i don’t think about forever
i just assume that it just is
but very few are here forever
i’ll miss you when you’re gone

i think that friendship
shouldn’t really have to end
maybe we can figure out
what’s alright to communicate
so we can continue to be friends
so the feelings we have don’t have to end

i hope the future will be okay
you’re really going to go away
some exciting moments we did share
i can’t tell you how much i care
i’ll think of you some times
in my thoughts you’ll be forever there

it seems we all lose somebody
who lives deep inside our heart
we love and stay together
but something causes us to part

in my life it has been death
it visits those i love
it’s already made the decision
the orders come from up above

it’s time to take them home
where there they’ll find pure love
if lucky we’ll be reunited
when it’s our time to go up above

i want to meet my grandmother
my animals-my close friends
those who went before me
now i’ll live with love and pain

maybe i’m no stranger
to forever after all
there are many that i love
who’ve had some recent calls
at a fairly younger age
others a long time ago

i’d say if you die at twenty-seven
to me you’ve left too soon
no one really understands love and death
what draws us to those we love
in forever you’ll find the reason
to have any meaning for life and love

one more thought has entered in
wanting to do one’s own self in
a suicidal fantasy that feels so real
it draws you to the thin veiled shield
where you feel the spirits presence yield
trying to help with guiding you
a decision-is it time now for passing through
are you finished here is time calling you?

© Jennifer Kiley 2012

eternal flameeternal flame by j. kiley

pink floyd-wish you were here-live (pulse)

Tasting the Shadows

Tasting the Shadows
by Jennifer Kiley
10.24.12

identity

Tasting the Shadows
by Jennifer Kiley
10.24.12

tasting the shadows
bloodletting cover the teeth
lips are swollen shut

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walking talking punch
ground is hard kicking painful
it’s another day

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words that hurt feelings
store the pain smile walk away
tears pillow alone

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they say we hate you
loser gay queer no one cares
stares laugh at loser

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texting hate mail comes
naked photographs displayed
secretly shot you

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cheer on bullying
no shame for them just for you
you want it to stop

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pain destroying you
can’t stop them must kill yourself
bullying complete

© Jennifer Kiley 2012
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You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)-Josh Groban

bonsai trees with tree house takanori aiba japanese artist